Wait. I will get to the schnarkiness but I wanted to mention a few things about my trip and real life meet up of two bloggers in LA.
First off, I met Brandi for lunch last Friday. Yay! It was so fun and I drank a few glasses of wine. Yes, in the middle of the day. Had the BEST salad ever (i should of gotten the dinner portion) and had great conversation. I didn't even think of taking a picture because I'm lame like that. But believe me, Brandi is gorgeous and awesome.
Then I did my family wedding stuff and drove over to Mareike's house. She doesn't actually blog (loser!) but she does comment a lot. And she was a guest blogger of this very blog last week. She has a house just off of sunset blvd and from her front windows you can see the hollywood sign. Very cool for a tourist like me. We honestly didn't do much, as I just wanted to relax and ~chill~ without family for awhile. So we drank beers, hung out and laughed. She's hilarious. I spent 2 days with her and her 3 dogs and 3 cats and her cute next door neighbor, george. ;) I did take some pictures of miss mareike, but she's fucking kill me if i posted them. It was a great time and I appreciated the hospitality.
Oh. And I swear to god I saw Michael Cera (the boyfriend in Juno) walking down the side street down to sunset blvd. At the time I thought it was his look a like little brother, but I just looked at pictures online and he's ~young~ looking. So I'm calling that I saw someone famous. heh. Who cares if it wasn't really him?
Okay. Schnarkiness. Mareike actually was the one who mentioned this to me and I wholeheartedly agreed, so time for a post about it.
It's when people complain about "annoying" comments people give them when the person is just trying to be nice. Like "still pregnant?" or "is this a boy or a girl?" or "Wow, you look like you're going to pop!" or any other type of general comment.
People just aren't that good in knowing exactly what to say when they are making general conversation. If they say ANY of these types of thing (non-mean things, obviously), they are just trying to engage you in conversation. It just means they CARE to talk to you about the subject.
Okay, that's all. I'm complaining about people complaining. Yes, I see the irony.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
The one word award.
Well, the award isn't one word. It's the "over the top" award and I received it from the awesome Photogrl who blogs at Not The Path I Chose.
I was secretly ~dying~ to do this one but no one was giving me an award. Until now. YAY!
Here are the rules:
1. you can only use one word!
2. pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers (which I'm not adding right now, so please just DO IT if you read this one!)
3. alert them that you have given them this award! (tell yourself!)
4. have fun! (seriously. "have fun" is an instruction. It's like the directions on food packages that say "enjoy!"
The Fun Part: (ahhh. THIS is the fun part. okay, I'm having fun.)
1. Where is your cell phone? there.
2. Your hair? blonde.
3. your mother? fantabulous.
4. Your father? changed.
5. Your favorite food? animals.
6. Your dream last night? unknown.
7. Your favorite drink? crush.
8. Your dream/goal? kids.
9. What room are you in? living.
10. Your hobby? parenting.
11. Your fear? midgits.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? north.
13. Where were you last night? burlesque.
14. Something that you aren't? brave.
15. Muffins? tops.
16. Wish list item? louboutins.
17. Where did you grow up? arizona.
18. Last thing you did? shopping.
19. What are you wearing? jeans.
20. Your TV? off.
21. Your pets? asleep.
22. Friends? many.
23. Your life? good.
24. Your mood? tired.
25. Missing someone? yes.
26. Vehicle? off.
27. Something you're not wearing? ring.
28. Your favorite store? gap.
29. Your favorite color? orange.
30. When was the last time you laughed? today.
31. Last time you cried? recent.
32. Your best friend? ryan.
33. One place that I go to over and over? safeway.
34. One person who emails me regularly? mypoints.
35. Favorite place to eat? louie's
There you go. My list. Awesome.
I was secretly ~dying~ to do this one but no one was giving me an award. Until now. YAY!
Here are the rules:
1. you can only use one word!
2. pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers (which I'm not adding right now, so please just DO IT if you read this one!)
3. alert them that you have given them this award! (tell yourself!)
4. have fun! (seriously. "have fun" is an instruction. It's like the directions on food packages that say "enjoy!"
The Fun Part: (ahhh. THIS is the fun part. okay, I'm having fun.)
1. Where is your cell phone? there.
2. Your hair? blonde.
3. your mother? fantabulous.
4. Your father? changed.
5. Your favorite food? animals.
6. Your dream last night? unknown.
7. Your favorite drink? crush.
8. Your dream/goal? kids.
9. What room are you in? living.
10. Your hobby? parenting.
11. Your fear? midgits.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? north.
13. Where were you last night? burlesque.
14. Something that you aren't? brave.
15. Muffins? tops.
16. Wish list item? louboutins.
17. Where did you grow up? arizona.
18. Last thing you did? shopping.
19. What are you wearing? jeans.
20. Your TV? off.
21. Your pets? asleep.
22. Friends? many.
23. Your life? good.
24. Your mood? tired.
25. Missing someone? yes.
26. Vehicle? off.
27. Something you're not wearing? ring.
28. Your favorite store? gap.
29. Your favorite color? orange.
30. When was the last time you laughed? today.
31. Last time you cried? recent.
32. Your best friend? ryan.
33. One place that I go to over and over? safeway.
34. One person who emails me regularly? mypoints.
35. Favorite place to eat? louie's
There you go. My list. Awesome.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Fedex sucks assholes.
Fuckers. Remember to write down your confirmation number because when they just fail to show up, without the number, you are FUCKED.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Victims of Infertility
This was my guest post on Poltzie's blog a few weeks ago. It was something I really wanted to write about and even though I posted it over there, I wanted to discuss it here with all of you. Forgive me if you already read it, but I do want to see your comments.
-- I start this story with the history of my IF and what I went through, culminating into the point of this post and a request for feedback. It's so long I wanted to explain it a bit first.
I was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" when I was trying for my first baby. I had all the initial tests like blood work and the HSG, took OPKs every month, experienced my first lap surgery checking for endo which was diagnosed as mild, had 3 clomid cycles and my husband has a good semen analysis. Everything checked out. Our 18th cycle was supposed to be our first IUI, but I missed the timing to take the meds so it turned into a natural cycle. That natural cycle turned into a BFP cycle, conceiving my first daughter, Ella.
The second round of ttc was when I tried for my second daughter, Allison. At only 5 months postpartum, I already had my cycle back although exclusively breast feeding, and we decided it was time to ttc again. I allowed one more cycle to go through, checking if I was even ovulating by using an OPK, and when that showed positive, we said we'd start trying with the next cycle. We assumed it would take no less than a year, if lucky, so when our daughter was only 6 months old, we pulled the goalie. To our utter shock, which I'm still shocked over, we achieved another BFP. We considered ourselves the luckiest people on the earth. The birth of Allison was traumatic for my uterus, having to undergo some emergency surgery at 5 weeks postpartum for heavy bleeding. We found I had retained placenta and when it was removed during surgery, I lost a massive amount of blood due to a condition called placenta accreta - Allison's placenta grew into and through my uterus. I recovered and we continued life as the parents of two little girls, 16 months apart.
Raising two little girls so close was hard. Harder than we ever expected. So we waited a bit to ttc our last child. It was only a few cycles in when I found I was no longer ovulating, instead growing huge functional cyst. I was diagnosed with LUF syndrome, which is where your body grows follicles, creates the LH surge to signal ovulation but instead of releasing the egg, my body would hold onto it, growing cysts as large as 10cms. I would be sidelined from ttc for another cycle, having to take bcps to allow the cysts to be absorbed. My OB referred me directly to an RE to deal with this problem. To force my body to ovulate, my ovulation would be triggered with HCG and under ultrasound, we would verify ovulation.
I also had another HSG to ensure my tubes were open. This time, my tube was shown as blocked. The RE ordered another test, the HSS, which saline was pushed into my uterus to check for scar tissue. It was discovered my uterus was over 70% sealed shut with scar tissue. This prompted 3 consecutive uterine surgeries to clear it all out. It was a vicious circle because surgery tended to create more scar tissue, so my RE placed a balloon inside my uterus to hold it open during healing. It was not fun. After my 3rd surgery (4th total), I was given a clean bill of uterine health and we tried our 3rd IUI cycle, but it failed.
IVF was our next step. Our 18th cycle was the IVF cycle and we made 9 embryos. The transfer was cancelled due to poor lining response, which is a side effect from my uterine walls being scraped clean of scar tissue so much. During cycle 19, we tried to get my uterine lining to respond with estrogen, which didn't work and transfer was cancelled. Cycle 20 was our second attempt at FET and we went crazy with trying to get my lining to respond. We threw everything at my uterus - injectable estrogen, viagra (yes, viagra), estrogen suppositories, meds meds and more meds, yet my lining only got to a 7 (they want 9mm at minimum). My RE wanted to cancel me but I said no, telling him I had to finish a cycle for my own well being. If it didn't work, I would go through another IVF, but I just HAD to complete a cycle.
We thawed all of the 9 embryos, 7 survived and 4 were grade As and Bs. The last three were grades C and D and arrested before they grew anymore. We transferred the Fab Four embryos and I was given a 40% chance at pregnancy. Of that 40%, I was given an 85% chance for a singleton, 10% for twins, 4% for triplets and less than a 1% for quads. And remember, this was less than 1% ~of~ 40%, so not much chance there. At 10d3dt, I was testing BFNs and was getting myself mentally prepared for IVF#2. Except at 11dp3dt, I testing BFP with a beta of only 15. The nurses told me to prepare myself for my pregnancy to end. But my betas were doubling. At 15dp3dt, my beta was 213 and an ultrasound was given to look for an ectopic pregnancy. It was too early to see anything but my lining looked thicker in one spot, which could be good news. At 19dp3dt, my beta rose to 1,073 and my RE called me to immediately come in for an ultrasound. They were afraid of ectopic pregnancy and needed to take a look to see what was going on inside me. Except instead of something in my tube, we found a baby in my uterus. Karl was born on January 10th.
Which all brings me to my point, but I first wanted to show you what I went through to get my 3 children. All said and done, I went through 4 surgeries, 3 HSGs, 4 HSSs, 3 IUIs, 1 IVF, 1 FET, ~24 medicated cycles and 39 cycles total. Was I "infertile"? Was I "subfertile"? Based upon the definitions, I was. Do I consider myself blessed? Hell yes.
I've received countless numbers of comments from anonymous readers (like anyone would admit to these terrible comments) of my blog pretty much condemning me for calling myself infertile. Although I should simply ignore these comments, they hurt. They hurt because I went through a lot for my children and I don't think succeeding should erase the war I fought. It's not the pain olympics and I would never try to compare who has it worse, but I do know that to me, I paid my dues.
Consider this ... If a woman had breast cancer and beat it by having her breasts surgically removed, would she still be able to call herself a victim of cancer? Of course she would be. So why would it be any different for a woman who suffered and beat infertility? Just because you won doesn't mean you didn't fight the war.
Have you been a victim of hurtful comments about your infertility? Do you know anyone who has? Please share your experiences!
-- I start this story with the history of my IF and what I went through, culminating into the point of this post and a request for feedback. It's so long I wanted to explain it a bit first.
I was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" when I was trying for my first baby. I had all the initial tests like blood work and the HSG, took OPKs every month, experienced my first lap surgery checking for endo which was diagnosed as mild, had 3 clomid cycles and my husband has a good semen analysis. Everything checked out. Our 18th cycle was supposed to be our first IUI, but I missed the timing to take the meds so it turned into a natural cycle. That natural cycle turned into a BFP cycle, conceiving my first daughter, Ella.
The second round of ttc was when I tried for my second daughter, Allison. At only 5 months postpartum, I already had my cycle back although exclusively breast feeding, and we decided it was time to ttc again. I allowed one more cycle to go through, checking if I was even ovulating by using an OPK, and when that showed positive, we said we'd start trying with the next cycle. We assumed it would take no less than a year, if lucky, so when our daughter was only 6 months old, we pulled the goalie. To our utter shock, which I'm still shocked over, we achieved another BFP. We considered ourselves the luckiest people on the earth. The birth of Allison was traumatic for my uterus, having to undergo some emergency surgery at 5 weeks postpartum for heavy bleeding. We found I had retained placenta and when it was removed during surgery, I lost a massive amount of blood due to a condition called placenta accreta - Allison's placenta grew into and through my uterus. I recovered and we continued life as the parents of two little girls, 16 months apart.
Raising two little girls so close was hard. Harder than we ever expected. So we waited a bit to ttc our last child. It was only a few cycles in when I found I was no longer ovulating, instead growing huge functional cyst. I was diagnosed with LUF syndrome, which is where your body grows follicles, creates the LH surge to signal ovulation but instead of releasing the egg, my body would hold onto it, growing cysts as large as 10cms. I would be sidelined from ttc for another cycle, having to take bcps to allow the cysts to be absorbed. My OB referred me directly to an RE to deal with this problem. To force my body to ovulate, my ovulation would be triggered with HCG and under ultrasound, we would verify ovulation.
I also had another HSG to ensure my tubes were open. This time, my tube was shown as blocked. The RE ordered another test, the HSS, which saline was pushed into my uterus to check for scar tissue. It was discovered my uterus was over 70% sealed shut with scar tissue. This prompted 3 consecutive uterine surgeries to clear it all out. It was a vicious circle because surgery tended to create more scar tissue, so my RE placed a balloon inside my uterus to hold it open during healing. It was not fun. After my 3rd surgery (4th total), I was given a clean bill of uterine health and we tried our 3rd IUI cycle, but it failed.
IVF was our next step. Our 18th cycle was the IVF cycle and we made 9 embryos. The transfer was cancelled due to poor lining response, which is a side effect from my uterine walls being scraped clean of scar tissue so much. During cycle 19, we tried to get my uterine lining to respond with estrogen, which didn't work and transfer was cancelled. Cycle 20 was our second attempt at FET and we went crazy with trying to get my lining to respond. We threw everything at my uterus - injectable estrogen, viagra (yes, viagra), estrogen suppositories, meds meds and more meds, yet my lining only got to a 7 (they want 9mm at minimum). My RE wanted to cancel me but I said no, telling him I had to finish a cycle for my own well being. If it didn't work, I would go through another IVF, but I just HAD to complete a cycle.
We thawed all of the 9 embryos, 7 survived and 4 were grade As and Bs. The last three were grades C and D and arrested before they grew anymore. We transferred the Fab Four embryos and I was given a 40% chance at pregnancy. Of that 40%, I was given an 85% chance for a singleton, 10% for twins, 4% for triplets and less than a 1% for quads. And remember, this was less than 1% ~of~ 40%, so not much chance there. At 10d3dt, I was testing BFNs and was getting myself mentally prepared for IVF#2. Except at 11dp3dt, I testing BFP with a beta of only 15. The nurses told me to prepare myself for my pregnancy to end. But my betas were doubling. At 15dp3dt, my beta was 213 and an ultrasound was given to look for an ectopic pregnancy. It was too early to see anything but my lining looked thicker in one spot, which could be good news. At 19dp3dt, my beta rose to 1,073 and my RE called me to immediately come in for an ultrasound. They were afraid of ectopic pregnancy and needed to take a look to see what was going on inside me. Except instead of something in my tube, we found a baby in my uterus. Karl was born on January 10th.
Which all brings me to my point, but I first wanted to show you what I went through to get my 3 children. All said and done, I went through 4 surgeries, 3 HSGs, 4 HSSs, 3 IUIs, 1 IVF, 1 FET, ~24 medicated cycles and 39 cycles total. Was I "infertile"? Was I "subfertile"? Based upon the definitions, I was. Do I consider myself blessed? Hell yes.
I've received countless numbers of comments from anonymous readers (like anyone would admit to these terrible comments) of my blog pretty much condemning me for calling myself infertile. Although I should simply ignore these comments, they hurt. They hurt because I went through a lot for my children and I don't think succeeding should erase the war I fought. It's not the pain olympics and I would never try to compare who has it worse, but I do know that to me, I paid my dues.
Consider this ... If a woman had breast cancer and beat it by having her breasts surgically removed, would she still be able to call herself a victim of cancer? Of course she would be. So why would it be any different for a woman who suffered and beat infertility? Just because you won doesn't mean you didn't fight the war.
Have you been a victim of hurtful comments about your infertility? Do you know anyone who has? Please share your experiences!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
What's next?
Bad luck comes in 3s right?
I was in the midst of doing a favor and went to my brother's house, 15 miles away, to pick up his mail to get a check he needed deposited while on his 10 day cruise. I'm currently sick with a fever and got all three kids in the car to make the trip. Check in hand, I drive to the only branch this bank has in town. A big triangle is what the route is taking me on, but I had no choice.
I pull up to the bank and in avoiding the cement girder on the right, I go too far left and my tire rubs the curb. "Pssssst" fill my ears and I know my tire is flat. Damn.
I deposit the check and pull I to the parking lot to change the tire. I get all three kids out to play while I go to work. My husband wasn't close, so I started the job on my own. I got the lug nuts off, jacked up the car, got tire off and spare out of the trunk and tom pulls up to finish the job. Hands dirty and my back hurting I swing back and PLOW my elbow to the side of the door.
$496 later, I'm home, my elbow hurts and I have some bad ass tires.
So. I think that's only two bad things. What's next?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I was in the midst of doing a favor and went to my brother's house, 15 miles away, to pick up his mail to get a check he needed deposited while on his 10 day cruise. I'm currently sick with a fever and got all three kids in the car to make the trip. Check in hand, I drive to the only branch this bank has in town. A big triangle is what the route is taking me on, but I had no choice.
I pull up to the bank and in avoiding the cement girder on the right, I go too far left and my tire rubs the curb. "Pssssst" fill my ears and I know my tire is flat. Damn.
I deposit the check and pull I to the parking lot to change the tire. I get all three kids out to play while I go to work. My husband wasn't close, so I started the job on my own. I got the lug nuts off, jacked up the car, got tire off and spare out of the trunk and tom pulls up to finish the job. Hands dirty and my back hurting I swing back and PLOW my elbow to the side of the door.
$496 later, I'm home, my elbow hurts and I have some bad ass tires.
So. I think that's only two bad things. What's next?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Monday, October 5, 2009
We now interrupt a post from Nancy ...
... to bring you a post from Lori. I swear I didn't get a post from her on Thursday, so I must've missed it (sorry Lori!) and I wanted to get this in. So read this and the last 3 guest posts please (read about ugly men making better sperm, abortion choices when it's not your embryo on board and a sweet ttc success story) and I'll be back tomorrow to tell you all about my fabulous trip, the 2 bloggers (Brandi and Mareike) I met, the celebrity I saw and the fucking fabulous pancakes I ate. Now is the post from Lori ....
~~~
How in the world could *I*, little ole tattoo-less, plastic surgery-free, piercing-fearing, never-even-cussed-on-the-Internet me, how could *I* possibly think I could fill Nancy's shoes for the day?
Nancy will tell you that certain bloggers may not be as sweet (IRL) as they appear.
I've chosen one of my favorite stories from my Weebles Wobblog archives in hopes that you'll find it Nancy-worthy.
*****
The Coffee Shop
So you're sitting in a coffee shop. An independent one, with a personality. Like your very own caffeinated Cheers.
"Truncation-of-your-name!" the barista says as you walk in, already preparing your Americano with room for cream. You chit-chat with her, perhaps not as wittily as Norm does with Sam, and you get your frequent sipper card stamped.
You set up your laptop and check some emails. After awhile, the coffee starts doing its thing, waking up all parts of your body as it moves through your digestive tract. Hello, Large Bowel!
You go to the stall-less bathroom and do your business. No big deal. And, I literally mean, no big deal.
Are you with me?
You press the flusher and the toilet does its filling thing. And it keeps doing its filling thing and keeps doing its filling thing, but without doing its draining thing. As the water level rises, so does your panic.
Crap.
You scoop your satchel off the floor (even though it's way in the corner and most likely out of harm's reach) and step awaaaaay from the commode, to protect your new gym shoes.
Now. What do you do?
After you've contributed your answer below, you may wish to click over for an analysis of the responses I got.
*****
Lori, the Examiner for Open Adoption, writes for Adoptive Families magazine and for her own blog, Weebles Wobblog. She and Chicklet find and review sassy stuff at All Thumbs Reviews (see that badge down there, on the right? -- I love them!). She is currently retelling her amazing adoption story at Drama 2B Mama. Once in awhile she even feeds her children, Tessa (8) and Reed). But only when her Google Reader is clear.
~~~
How in the world could *I*, little ole tattoo-less, plastic surgery-free, piercing-fearing, never-even-cussed-on-the-Internet me, how could *I* possibly think I could fill Nancy's shoes for the day?
Nancy will tell you that certain bloggers may not be as sweet (IRL) as they appear.
I've chosen one of my favorite stories from my Weebles Wobblog archives in hopes that you'll find it Nancy-worthy.
*****
The Coffee Shop
So you're sitting in a coffee shop. An independent one, with a personality. Like your very own caffeinated Cheers.
"Truncation-of-your-name!" the barista says as you walk in, already preparing your Americano with room for cream. You chit-chat with her, perhaps not as wittily as Norm does with Sam, and you get your frequent sipper card stamped.
You set up your laptop and check some emails. After awhile, the coffee starts doing its thing, waking up all parts of your body as it moves through your digestive tract. Hello, Large Bowel!
You go to the stall-less bathroom and do your business. No big deal. And, I literally mean, no big deal.
Are you with me?
You press the flusher and the toilet does its filling thing. And it keeps doing its filling thing and keeps doing its filling thing, but without doing its draining thing. As the water level rises, so does your panic.
Crap.
You scoop your satchel off the floor (even though it's way in the corner and most likely out of harm's reach) and step awaaaaay from the commode, to protect your new gym shoes.
Now. What do you do?
After you've contributed your answer below, you may wish to click over for an analysis of the responses I got.
*****
Lori, the Examiner for Open Adoption, writes for Adoptive Families magazine and for her own blog, Weebles Wobblog. She and Chicklet find and review sassy stuff at All Thumbs Reviews (see that badge down there, on the right? -- I love them!). She is currently retelling her amazing adoption story at Drama 2B Mama. Once in awhile she even feeds her children, Tessa (8) and Reed). But only when her Google Reader is clear.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sunday's Guest Blogger ... Lori! ... Nope, It's Elana!
Lori didn't get me a post (booo!) so instead, I offer you Elana ...
"What to get pregnant? Find an ugly man"
Hi everyone! I'm Elana from Elana's Musings (elanasmusings.blogspot.com), and I am Nancy's guest blogger today! I got an email from BabyMed.com the other day, and I just really need to share it with you all. Here it goes:
"Women wanting to get pregnant should find themselves an ugly man, new research suggests. Scientists have found attractive males produce less sperm during sex. Researchers think good-looking males are biologically geared to hold back their sperm in each encounter to increase their chance of impregnating more females. But unattractive males know they are not going to bed so many females -- so when they do get lucky they give it all they've got."
"The findings from the University of Oxford and University College London are backed up by studies of chickens and fish, but researchers think they could well apply to humans too. 'Human attractiveness is complicated and influenced by a number of factors including cultural preferences,' said UCL researcher Sam Tazzyman. 'Nonetheless, ejaculate size and sperm quality are likely to have been molded by similar forces, like attractiveness and the number of sexual partners, that are important in other species.' Reporting the findings on the university's Web site, Tazzyman said, 'The more attractive a male is, the more females will be willing to mate with him, reducing the value of each mating to him. This means it is optimal for him to contribute fewer sperm per mating.'"
I nearly died laughing when I read this. I mean really, do you honestly think a man's "attractiveness" contributes to how good he'll be at getting a woman knocked up? I can't wait to see your reactions to this! Are YOU married to an "ugly man"???? :-)
"What to get pregnant? Find an ugly man"
Hi everyone! I'm Elana from Elana's Musings (elanasmusings.blogspot.com), and I am Nancy's guest blogger today! I got an email from BabyMed.com the other day, and I just really need to share it with you all. Here it goes:
"Women wanting to get pregnant should find themselves an ugly man, new research suggests. Scientists have found attractive males produce less sperm during sex. Researchers think good-looking males are biologically geared to hold back their sperm in each encounter to increase their chance of impregnating more females. But unattractive males know they are not going to bed so many females -- so when they do get lucky they give it all they've got."
"The findings from the University of Oxford and University College London are backed up by studies of chickens and fish, but researchers think they could well apply to humans too. 'Human attractiveness is complicated and influenced by a number of factors including cultural preferences,' said UCL researcher Sam Tazzyman. 'Nonetheless, ejaculate size and sperm quality are likely to have been molded by similar forces, like attractiveness and the number of sexual partners, that are important in other species.' Reporting the findings on the university's Web site, Tazzyman said, 'The more attractive a male is, the more females will be willing to mate with him, reducing the value of each mating to him. This means it is optimal for him to contribute fewer sperm per mating.'"
I nearly died laughing when I read this. I mean really, do you honestly think a man's "attractiveness" contributes to how good he'll be at getting a woman knocked up? I can't wait to see your reactions to this! Are YOU married to an "ugly man"???? :-)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Saturday's Guest Blogger ... Mareike!
Many of you have likely heard about this: A couple in Ohio elected to have a fourth child using their frozen embryos. On the day they learned that the woman was pregnant they also learned that another couple's embryos had been implanted. They had the option of aborting the fetus but elected to carry the baby boy to term and then hand him over to his biological parents.
I'm interested in all of your thoughts on this. Could you do this? Would you, after going through so much to conceive a child, abort a viable fetus if you learned it was not yours?
I'm interested in all of your thoughts on this. Could you do this? Would you, after going through so much to conceive a child, abort a viable fetus if you learned it was not yours?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Friday's Guest Blogger ... Jenn!
hello everyone- i'm jenn from the oasis here to guest blog for nancy. let me preface this with saying that i never capitalize anything in my blog- so i apologize (especially to nancy the queen of grammar!) if it's hard or frustrating to read. chalk it up to laziness as my blog is really my place to vent all the stuff in my head, both profound (not usually) and mundane (much more typically!). i write about adjusting to life as a new & unemployed mom to pumpkin (but that's a currently evolving story in & of itself) & wife of the hub. i started my blog two and a half years ago as a way to work through my frustrations & concerns with ttc. the super short version is that i married my first love & best friend after eons together & we always planned for kids sometime in the future. after being rushed to the hospital & finding out i had a congenital kidney defect & needed major surgery someday became right this very instant. after waiting to recover & then waiting almost 18 months to see an re- we finally gave it our all (financially speaking) in a hail mary iui + clomid challenge on cycle 20 that miraculously ended in a bfp, uneventful pregnancy, induction 2 days before my due date, 3 really hard hours of pushing & 1 perfect little pumpkin.
i first met nancy on the ttc message boards & knew i wanted to be friends with this super cool, super knowledgeable chic. she always had the stats & the background behind her to alternately calm us down, or ramp us up- whichever was most needed. i first started blogging because of her too. i couldn't go on the boards because of my job & seeing her blog made me realize that not only could i have a virtual diary to vent all my frustrations- there were actually tons of people out there who were in the same (or a similar) boat. i could get & give support all while doing something that i found therapeutic itself. i was hooked.
what i have learned from almost 3 years of blogging is that there is a lot you can give & take from it. there are always going to be people that disagree with you- or who don't want to listen to what you have to say. you could choose to get into petty fights with strangers. you can choose to ignore it. or you can take the braver approach that i see a number of bloggers take. you can be strong enough & brave enough to unflinchingly give your opinion on a subject- but be willing to listen to other sides of it & open up a touchy subject to a genuinely helpful discussion. you can be really strong & admit when you change your mind, or have offended someone & apologize, or just concede that everyone is entitled to their own opinion & open up a forum for sharing.
i am not a very vocal person. in fact- i often will hide or suppress my own opinion especially if there is conflict involved. or even the possibility for conflict. i hate fighting & arguments that much that i will let myself be trampled on (so to speak) just to avoid one. what blogging has taught me is that you can be both vocal & opinionated without being pushy or argumentative. i think the way that nancy approaches a subject that could be seen as controversial is fantastic. i have seen her admit when she has hurt someone & take pause to consider that there is more than just 'her' side to an argument. she has opened my eyes on more than one occasion that i can look at a situation from a different perspective & that a fresh set of eyes sees something completely different. that's why i love the blogworld & my blogbuddies. i know i can count on them for honest yet thoughtful opinions and a new perspective that i may never have seen. The relative anonymity of the internet seems to work in my favor this way. i am not as afraid of conflict since i know i can take time & think carefully about what i want to communicate without having to see all the emotions that inevitably go along with strong opinions. this has actually helped me gather up my courage (somewhat!) in the 'real' world & be able to speak my mind a bit more. i love seeing that it is okay to be brave & take a chance saying what you really think (or want) because even if you get people disagreeing with you, it doesn't mean you have to fight about it- or that given the chance they wouldn't have a rational and productive discussion with you. basically- blogging has taught me that we really can all get along if we just work at it (and ourselves) a bit.
oh- and did i happen to mention that i actually get to go & meet nancy!!!! like next month- holy crap am i excited!!!
i first met nancy on the ttc message boards & knew i wanted to be friends with this super cool, super knowledgeable chic. she always had the stats & the background behind her to alternately calm us down, or ramp us up- whichever was most needed. i first started blogging because of her too. i couldn't go on the boards because of my job & seeing her blog made me realize that not only could i have a virtual diary to vent all my frustrations- there were actually tons of people out there who were in the same (or a similar) boat. i could get & give support all while doing something that i found therapeutic itself. i was hooked.
what i have learned from almost 3 years of blogging is that there is a lot you can give & take from it. there are always going to be people that disagree with you- or who don't want to listen to what you have to say. you could choose to get into petty fights with strangers. you can choose to ignore it. or you can take the braver approach that i see a number of bloggers take. you can be strong enough & brave enough to unflinchingly give your opinion on a subject- but be willing to listen to other sides of it & open up a touchy subject to a genuinely helpful discussion. you can be really strong & admit when you change your mind, or have offended someone & apologize, or just concede that everyone is entitled to their own opinion & open up a forum for sharing.
i am not a very vocal person. in fact- i often will hide or suppress my own opinion especially if there is conflict involved. or even the possibility for conflict. i hate fighting & arguments that much that i will let myself be trampled on (so to speak) just to avoid one. what blogging has taught me is that you can be both vocal & opinionated without being pushy or argumentative. i think the way that nancy approaches a subject that could be seen as controversial is fantastic. i have seen her admit when she has hurt someone & take pause to consider that there is more than just 'her' side to an argument. she has opened my eyes on more than one occasion that i can look at a situation from a different perspective & that a fresh set of eyes sees something completely different. that's why i love the blogworld & my blogbuddies. i know i can count on them for honest yet thoughtful opinions and a new perspective that i may never have seen. The relative anonymity of the internet seems to work in my favor this way. i am not as afraid of conflict since i know i can take time & think carefully about what i want to communicate without having to see all the emotions that inevitably go along with strong opinions. this has actually helped me gather up my courage (somewhat!) in the 'real' world & be able to speak my mind a bit more. i love seeing that it is okay to be brave & take a chance saying what you really think (or want) because even if you get people disagreeing with you, it doesn't mean you have to fight about it- or that given the chance they wouldn't have a rational and productive discussion with you. basically- blogging has taught me that we really can all get along if we just work at it (and ourselves) a bit.
oh- and did i happen to mention that i actually get to go & meet nancy!!!! like next month- holy crap am i excited!!!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Guest Bloggers?
First off, I was a guest blogger on Poltzie's blog last week while she was in Vegas. I wrote a post called "Victims of Infertility" and I would appreciate if you read it. If you head over there, don't forget to check out her other posts. She's got some really cute pictures up from her trip to Vegas!
So. I'm going to be out of town tomorrow - sunday. And I'm looking for 3 guest bloggers. If you want to be a guest blogger for me, please comment on this post. I'll need your posts by tonight, let's see, by 11pm MT, and I'll set them all up to auto post on your day.
Please will you be my guest blogger? (I'll take the first three volunteers. That's if I even ~get~ any volunteers!) If I would have thought of this sooner, I would have asked you individually, but I don't have the time now. But I would still LOVE it if anyone would like to post on my blog. Please? Let me know!
So. I'm going to be out of town tomorrow - sunday. And I'm looking for 3 guest bloggers. If you want to be a guest blogger for me, please comment on this post. I'll need your posts by tonight, let's see, by 11pm MT, and I'll set them all up to auto post on your day.
Please will you be my guest blogger? (I'll take the first three volunteers. That's if I even ~get~ any volunteers!) If I would have thought of this sooner, I would have asked you individually, but I don't have the time now. But I would still LOVE it if anyone would like to post on my blog. Please? Let me know!
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