No Purchase Necessary

Why do companies have to have a "no purchase necessary" clause in their contracts?

I'm sure there is some legal precedence here and I could simply look it up, but I'm like most americans and I'm lazy.

I'm sure someone sued because they declared not getting a "1 in 4 WINS!" game token from some fast food chain without buying something was unconsitutional or something. The place running the contest is trying to generate business by enticing customers to win! win! win!. Yet under some most like idiotic rule, they have to allow non customers to play.

This isn't true for the lotto/powerball. I can't just walking into a 7-11 and say "I'm not going to buy anything, but give me a lottery ticket." I guess that is different though since with the lottery, we are ~buying~ a chance to win with no other deliverable promise of any type of good or service. It's definitivly a gamble.

Hrm. So I get that reasoning for a lottery, if I'm correct of course. But why do we have to give non customers a chance to win a prize we are giving out in hopes of creating more customers.

Ugh. Now I'm curious but I don't want to google it in spite. (in spite of what? no idea.)


Another question. Why do coupons retain a value? (worth 1/27th of a cent). Does that actually mean I can collect coupons and turn them in somewhere for money? Where does the worth come from? Who would reimburse me?

If you can identify with any of the below ...

... you most likely have the ability to irritate the hell out of me. (welcome back miss schnarky.)


1. ~ I've mentioned it before, magicians. I loathe magicians. Not because I can't figure out how they did something. It's because their whole persona is acting like they really are, in fact, magical. If they would just say "hey, i got this fucking cool slight of hand thing to show you but I won't tell you how I did it", that would be fine. Instead they act all spooky about it. Case in point - that criss angel guy. (nevermind his annoying way he spells his name) Stop acting so "oooo - i'm MAGIC - look how serious I am. I can't smile because it would throw off my shtick". I actually think a lot of their tricks are cool as hell and I'd love to see them do it, but drop the attitude. We all know you are not a sorcerer. We know it's a trick, hence calling it a magic TRICK.

2. ~ Auctioneers. Really? Do you actually think talking like that is going to rile the crowd into a frenzy of bidding? Look. I'm going to pay up to x dollars on item y. How quickly the bidding goes up doesn't change the fact I'll spend how much I want to spend. Everytime I hear on of them calling out an auction, I actually get a little pissed off.

3. ~ The whole "I can't be bothered to put on pants or shoes when I need to venture out in public" thing. Is it really that difficult to slip on a pair of flip flops and some pants? Or are you trying to be a social deviant by not accepting society's rule about how you should dress in public and you show your uniqueness by doing the SAME THING that tens of thousands of other girl do? I'm generalizing this phenomena to woman, mostly teenage and the immature early twenties set. I can't recall ever seeing a boy take part in this fad. Or too many older women for that matter.

4. ~ Some types of hats worn by boys. Hats are hats and you either like them or you don't. I'm just going to mention my hated top three hat styles. One - The whole flat brimmed baseball hat. I wear my baseball hat with the brim rounded. There are different versions of this, as I have seen them rounded so much that the brim becomes a tube. But the opposite of that, the flat brimmed hat, um, I guess I just don't get it. The whole point of wearing a baseball hat is to protect your eyes from the sun. Keeping the brim completely flat, so much so it doesn't even fit to your head - there are big holes on either side in between your forehead and the hat - defeats the purpose of the hat almost entirely. The only time this style will shade your eyes is when the sun is directly above you. Even ~if~ you are just wearing it to be fashionable, it just looks like, to me, your hat is too big for your head. Two - knit hats in any season other than winter. I get it. It's part of the whole anorexic, skinny jeans, emo/punk boy, 80s neon plastic sunglasses look. I'm don't even going to go to the specifics of that look i find overwhelmingly ridiculous. But the winter knit cap? When it's 115 degrees outside? WHY? Can't they think of another hat option for summer? Maybe that's why the flat brimmed hat came from. Who knows. Oh - the other half of this bizarre trend is to wear the cap on the back of the head, leaving the top and sides of hair to frame the face (or completely cover it). Three - berets. Unless you are Jamie Hyneman, this look is ~not~ good. Hell, even the ARMY pulled the beret from their official uniform. I don't think I have to elaborate.

5. ~ The whole starbucks vibe. Hey, I ~puffy heart~ my daily quad venti skinny vanilla with 2 splendas. Besides it being more expensive than heroin, I'm totally down with their coffee. It's a sad state of affairs when I walk in and they greet me by name and ask "your usual?". There are still two things about the chain I do not get. One - The snooty attitude of the staff. This has gotten HUGELY better over the years, but I still run into the occasional cower-before-me-for-I-am-your-god type person. Back in the day before I knew exactly what my drink was or ~gasp~ I needed help with the menu, 99% of the employees would act exasperated and roll their eyes over the fact that they had to waste their time while taking an order. Like I said, this attitude as changed quite a bit, but there are still enough of them out there. Two - I honestly don't understand why so many people hang out there. Sure, meet some friends, drink coffee and talk. I get that. What I don't get is why there are so many people who hang out there alone to read, do homework or work on their computers. Sure, the "they have free wifi" is somewhat understandable, but really, who doesn't have internet service these days? The reasoning that they need a place to study/read without distraction doesn't really fly - I would think sitting in the middle of a busy as hell coffee shop would be pretty damned distracting. Maybe I'm just missing something.

6. ~ People who take their job way too seriously, ie - one of the security guards at my work. It's good to like your job. It's also good to feel important. Unfortunately, with the latter, some people go a little overboard when they put on their security uniform. At my work, you have to display your badge at all times. Okay, fine. A problem occurred when my badge was expired. A new one was issued and it would be sent to me. In the meantime, I had to sign in everyday with security to get a daily temporary badge. Pain in the ass, but okay. Well, one day I came in during the weekend to complete some work. I signed in and went off to do the work I had. When I was leaving, I passed the security station. When I went through the turnstile, my expired badge bleeped. The security guard was suddenly on high alert. "Ma'am, I need to see your badge immediately" he practically shoats at me. I pull my badge's zipline to let the guy see it. "Ma'am, I need for you to remove your badge from its holder" he demands. Okay, um, here it is. "THIS BADGE IS EXPIRED AND I MUST CONFISCATE IT. YOU ARE UNAUTHORIZED TO BE HERE." Whoa. This guy is really serious. Trying to hide my urge to laugh, I try to explain how I already went through security that morning and was granted access. He doesn't care. The only words I hear next through the laughter in my head was "SECURITY BREECH!" and I lost it. My laughter did ~not~ lighten his mood. He was furious. The only thing I could do was backup and head for the door. I'm surprised he didn't run after and tackle me before I made it out the door. I half expected it. I think he has watched a few too many episodes of Dog the Bounty Hunter.

7. ~ People who view my tattoos as a universal signal for complete strangers to talk to me. The occasional "nice ink" or "who does your work?" comments are fine. You do not need to know what it means to me. How much it cost. The location of my other tattoos. I don't really care what the tattoo you would get looks like. The description of your brother/sister/grandma's tattoo. The reason you would never get a tattoo. I don't need you to pull up your shirt to show me the tattoo your clothing is hiding for good reason. And for once and for all, Yes, some of them hurt while some of them did not. Yes - they ARE real. I quite literally get asked if my tattoos are real all the damned time. Who the fuck would color both of their arms with a sharpie everyday? Most tattoos are meant to be displayed and will spark conversation. But for goodness sake, think before you speak. Just because I see someone ahead of me in line is wearing jeans doesn't give me cart blanche to ask them what size they are.

8. ~ Drivers who are so scared of cops, they refuse to drive fast enough to pass one, even when the cop is driving WAY UNDER the speed limit. I actually think this would be fun if I was a cop. I can guarantee I would play this game with the general public.

This list goes to eight.

i just got back from skateboarding.

guess what? I'm no longer 18 years old. damn it.

You. Have. To. Be. Joking.

I haven't blogged in awhile because work, kids, leprosy, alien abduction . But I have something to be schnarky about. I doubt anyone will really care about this either, but oh well, I gotta start somehow right?

I work for a company that has about 45,000 union employees. This weekend, that union decided to strike until the company bends to their demands. Hrm. Isn't this really just a 'legal' extortion technique? I mean really, I don't get it.

Let me explain a little background.

Our Union employees 1) make a shit ton of money 2) they get an incredible benefits package. ie: they don't pay a dime for medical. 3) They get much more paid sick time that we do. 4) A great pension plan. 5) they are almost un-fire able.

The union's contract was up and my company decided to use the collective bargaining time to renegotiate the contract. My company offered a benefits package to these 45,000 workers that MATCHES what the other 135,000 employees receive. Seems fair, right?

Apparently it's not okay. These union employees think they deserve much much much more than their COWORKERS get. I haven't heard the union workers try to get the company to agree to offer US a better benefits package. No. No I haven't.

So

My company is fighting back. It started a couple months ago when a strike was on the horizon. A huge group of IT employees were tagged to get trained so we could do their job. The training was 2 weeks. (FIOS installation, climbing poles, etc etc.) Am I wrong to assume then that their positions are completely replaceable with ~only~ two weeks of training? My company already has the next two groups ready to be deployed so we can work in rotations. It's hilarious. Software engineers are being taught how to do their jobs in a measly two week training session.

Today was the first day the temporary workers had to cross the picket lines. And it's not been peachy from what my friends are reporting.I want to make a t-shirt for all of us that says on the front "Guess what? You're replaceable" and on the back, which picketers will see after the lines were crossed, "See?". Beautiful.

I say "fuck em". You don't want to have the exact same benefits package the company gives to the other 75% of the company? Leave. We don't need you. Last time I looked, we have an employment shortage here in the Unites States. I'm ~sure~ we can find another 45,000 workers. And hell, after only 2 weeks of training, they'll be ready to take over your job.

You're replaceable. Period.

(btw, i get why unions were first developed. Working conditions needed to be regulated. But in today's day and age? Not so much. You don't like the hours? Quit. You don't like the benefits package, leave. This is all about pure and simple greed. Stop thinking you are entitled. You're not.)

dealth of kurt. flash. the 27 club.

kurt cobain died 17 years ago. FUCKING 17 years ago. That's ridiculous. My brain can't even get around the 17 years. I remember when I heard. I was in my office (job i had during college) and I just the door and just sat in silence. i was pissed. very very angry. how could he leave us? and then it hit me that he was in the fucking 27 club which he used to say he wanted in on. 27 was just too young. (look it up if you don't know what the 27 club is) .I was only 5 years younger than him. 22. my age when i considerer someone smart enough to be called an adult is 25. he was 2 past that and i was 3 years too young. it broke my heart. and it still breaks my heart. let's see... later on, i guess i wanted to live like him and did the hip H addiction too. I could understand the wanting to die. the apathy of dealth. but he meant someone to me. to many of us. and i can still cry today over that overbearing loss. my heart breaks for courtney fuck you if you don't like her. she loved him. he loved her. she gave him a gorgeous baby that is francis bean. my heart breaks for her too. to not be able to ~have~ her dad when he was so, so. what. amazing. the right words won't come. i hope your energy has reevolved kurt. you were one of this world's greatest losses. god damn it. i'm glad i met him the stupid ass times i did at early shows. but i kick myself in the ass for an invite i couldn't take when i would be with francis bean's nanny at a show. a show very close to the end.

anyway - the death of ryan dunn has opened my wound for kurt.

and i just found out my first tattoo artist died recently. fuck. death sucks.

i'm bringing back the grunge flannel wearing. i'm wearing one over a wife beater right now. go 90s.


i love you kurt. i miss you.

Rest in Peace Ryan.

You were my favorite jackass. Of course the world would take you first although all of you tempted fate. (not that i wanted someone else to go first).

i will mis you ryan.

The "I'm a jackass" hand wave.

We have all had moments of being a jackass driver. We may accidentally cut someone off. Sometimes we try to change lanes without looking first and almost side swipe someone. Maybe we brake too hard when a turn comes sooner than we first expected, making the car behind us have to slam on their brakes. Of course, if you aren't a ridiculously stupid driver, these moments are far and few between of one another. All I'm trying to get at is it happens to all of us.

When I make a jackass move while driving, I immediately throw my arm up in the air or out the window, waving the "I'm a moron" international sign to the car I accidentally screwed over. When another driver makes a dumbass decision which affects me, all they have to do is show me their own "I'm a jackass" hand wave. If they do this, all is immediately forgiven. They did something stupid, they realized it and most importantly, they admitted it.

There is another hand gesture that should be given when you want to say "thank you" to another driver. If you slow down to let someone into traffic or in your lane. It should be given when you appreciate that a driver did something for you. It looks exactly like the "I'm a jackass" hand wave. Very simple and meaningful.

Do you use these gestures? It really bugs the hell out of me when others don't use them. Especially when it should be done because I went out of my way for another driver. It's common courtesy I say.

Germs.

Let me preface this that I'm not a howard hughes type of non functioning germ aphobics. But I do have my fair share of things that flip me out.

In no particular order...

1. using a public telephone. Who knows what kind of spittle came out on the receiver?

2. Elevator buttons. I mean, how often to you see someone clean them? And the tens of thoughsands of people who touch them each day.

3. Using smoeone elses head set to talk on the phone. How much wax do you think is saturated in the earpiece?

4. A keyboard on computer in a public place. This goes with and other office suplies you may be forced to use.

5. sink handles. I wash my hands with soap and water, but I dodn't want tp touch the faceut handle. I mean, hell - the reason people turn these on is because their hands are dirty after going to the bathroom.

6. Speaking of, watching someone walk out of the backroom without washing. I tend to say "missing something" as they walk out. That person will for always gross me out.

7. How could I forget?? The worst one for me is using the pen (or stylus) at the counter of the pharmacy. This people are actually sick and then we use the exact same pen they use in to pickup their perscriptions.

8. Toilet splashing. You are going #2 in a puclic place and whatever you drop out, makes a splash. NOW all of the toilet water sprays onto your butt. This may be one of the worst.

9. Don't touch ~my~ bathtowel. Please.

10. Nope, in my head, this triumphs over #7. Using earphones after anybody else. It's obviously worse if you didn't know this person, but uuuhhhgggg. It makes me shudder. Ear Wax is nasty.

And the survey says ...

It was a trick question, they all happened to me in the last month. I can't believe so many of you quessed it right!! Heh. And I thought I was being all sneaky too! You guys know me too well.

suck my jolly rancher.

Mmmmmm. Jolly ranchers. The guy who site next to me at work has a huge fishbowl full of them. And it made me realize I have no will power when it comes to free candy.

I want to conduct a little poll. Please give your answer in the comments...

What craptastic event in the following list has ~not~ happened to me in the past month or so?

A. I developed a case of infantigo, most common in children, or folliculitis (on my chin, cheek and upper lip) which then blossomed into a huge Staph A infection. I had to take 5 different antibiotics (including IV antis) until it finally started to respond after having to hide out from the public for two weeks, just so I wouldn't be mistaken for a leper. The blisters formed in each and every hair follicle in clusters of sores that were not only bright red, they were painful. The blisters were very unstable, just brushing up against them would make them seep with fluid, which didn't allow me to even try to cover them up with a little concealer. I was mortified and stayed in the house for almost two weeks, in which it finally began to heal.

B. I crashed my car because I swerved to avoid hitting a dog in the road. My tires caught the curb and launched my car up diagonally into a telephone pole. I went for a ride in an ambulance to the ER to take xrays of my neck, which was injured in the accident. I lost about 16 hours of my life due to a concussion. I don't remember leaving work that day, the scene of the aftermath of the accident, the police, the paramedics, the ambulance ride, the hospital, or coming home from hospital. To make matters worse, I got a ticket for careless driving.

C. While petting a stray cat who has been in my neighborhood for years, suddenly decided he had enough petting and bit me on the wrist. I thought nothing of it until a golf ball lump appeared. The penicillin I self prescribed didn't seem to be working. It progressed even further, the infection now taking over from below my wrist bone to the bottom of my thumb. It was hot to the touch and I lost all elasticity in my skin - if pushed down on it with my finger (and endure the massive pain that came with touching it), it reacted like playdough, leaving an actual indentation in the skin. I went to urgent care where I received 2 shots of antibiotics in the hip, a Rx for an oral med and an antibiotic topical cream. The infection calmed down and went away, but left me with nerve damage from tip of thumb to wrist.

D. I got kicked out of girl scouts (I was a leader) because I stuck up for my ~entire~ troop, instead of rewarding just a few girls. The bank account was in my name and I refused to spend most of the money on summer camp for only 4-5 girls. The moms wanted to use the money for ~their~ girls because on average, they sold the most girl scout cookies for the troop. The thing is, the money we get from that should benefit everyone, not just the top sellers. Well, the mothers of those girls flipped out and called the girl scout council to try to get me kicked out as a leader, which would give them access to the bank account to do what they wanted. Everything I did was to make it fair for ALL girls, and to not be bullied my a group of jr high acting mothers. They made up huge stories about me and the girl scout council forced me to resign.

Okay, take a guess as to which one did NOT happen to me. Good luck!

Try to guess! Good luck!