I'm still here!

I took the two tests again this morning and both were BFPs.

~ I bought another box of the digitals, just because that is the only test that I can truly compare results. If that one goes negative, I know my levels have gone down. And we know it picked up only 15 yesterday, so I know today my levels are at least still 15.

~ I didn't have any of those extra sensitive medical strips my RE uses, so all I could do was pick up a box of FRER. The test this morning showed a very light second line, but a second line nonetheless. FRER is supposed to be sensitive as low as 25 - so either my numbers have gone up to 25 so FRER could pick it up, or it's picking up the 15 I had. Until I can compare tomorrow's test, I will have no idea. My levels may just be stagnant and not increasing. But at least I know they aren't DEcreasing. Which is promising.

This weekend is going to be FILLED with waiting. Ugh. But what else can I do? I want Monday to get here and show me doubling numbers and I want SO BADLY to eat my words of "this cycle failed". I want to shout out how wrong I was for counting myself out and I want to apologize to everyone who gave me support when I was simply jumping the gun. But, damn it, that's just going to have to wait until Monday.

~~~

In other "news" ...

Check out this comment I got from "anonymous" last night ...

"I guess God even has pity on people who spew as much venom as you do. Good luck to your third child. Lord knows the first two will need years of therapy after having a mother like you. Make sure you keep your butt on 1st tri on WebMD and stay off our boards. No one on 3rd tri is interested in you ruining or last few weeks of our wonderful pregnancies."

Pretty "good" person, don't you think? And this is the type of person to use God in her ramblings to me. Ridiculous. I must say my favorite part is the threat "keep your butt on 1st tri". Seriously entertaining. I love when girls get all drama. It's SO funny.

Could you imagine the type of person you would be to say something like this to someone else? I may speak my mind and discuss the hard topics, but I would NEVER say something like this to someone. I never have and I never will. It's just so sad. I pity her. Heh - and she says she's sorry for ~my~ children. Very ironic if you ask me.

(About the comment of 3rd tri ... Whenever I was pregnant and in my 3rd trimester, my due date always seemed so far away. I loved to lurk on 1st tri to see what the new due dates are. So last time, I simply posted a quick comment on 3rd tri to give them the "newest" due date out there - to make them feel better about how far they've come. And that's all I did yesterday. But apparently, what I did was "ruining or last few weeks of our wonderful pregnancies". I think that should be "our last few weeks", but as you all may already know, people who would type this kind of comment to someone isn't the smartest marble in the bag. It's not her fault, her IQ can only take her so far, right?)

"funniest home videos"

I can't watch these anymore. So many of them are staged and it bothers me too much to watch them. And they put these fake videos on tv and have the audience laugh maniacally at them. And the crazy laughing of the audience is creepy in itself.

My first thought when watching these videos is "why would someone be videotaping this in the first place?" If there is no reason for it, it's more than likely fake.

Example - It's a video of a guy sitting on a laz-y-boy sleeping or resting or whatever. He's not doing anything, just sitting there with his eyes closed. And then he yawns and stretches, knocking over something on the shelf above or behind him. WTF? Why would anyone be filming a guy sleeping? Sure, maybe this guy snores or falls asleep on the couch and doesn't admit to it and someone was proving that fact. But 80% of the videos are like this. Like a guy is walking along some outdoor source of water. A pool. A stream. But it's not like a family thing where he's waving to the camera or swimming or doing anything that would be filmed. He's not even looking at the camera. And then he "accidentally" falls into the water. Give me a break.

What prompted this is there is an insurance advertisement up on some site that I am at a lot. I guess it's depicting a girl dancing because she saved money on her insurance. And then she is shocked to find that someone is filming her. She turns around, all shocked with her eyes open wide and her hands to her mouth as the aspect of getting caught dancing. But although the camera guy didn't make any noise. She just happens to turn around, her hands are at her mouth before she even turns around. She obviously knew she had to be surprised. I understand this is a commercial and was completely staged, but come on! Make it look a little more real?