Going in for Beta #3 (update 1)

Man.

I'm ALL WORRIED now about ectopic because of the low betas and late implantation. I'm worried that the little embryo implanted so late because she took a ride up the tube and now she's stuck. And that is why my beta was so low.

(fyi - ectopics are INCREASED in IVF/FET. I'm not just pulling this out of my ass)

Sure, it doubled. But an ectopic can double in the beginning, right?

Fuck.

I'm freaked out. I leave in 2 minutes for blood draw and no idea when I'll get it back due to them sending out to the lab and the long weekend.

bah.

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Upate #1 - They are doing it in-house due to long weekend. Yay. I'll get an answer today.

Still very worried about ectopic. With low numbers, it could just be the embryo had some growing to do before hatching and finding a place to land. Or, it's ectopic. I talked with nurses and they said they couldn't rule it out due to the low numbers. Although ectopics don't usually double, they can in the very beginning, they just usually don't get too large before they start to fail. So today is a big day. Although still not out of the woods if it even comes back doubled. We need numbers of at least 160-170.

Double Bubble.

I always liked double bubble bubble gum. Mmmmmm. But the thing I like most right now is ... DOUBLING BETA NUMBERS!!!!

My little lowly beta of 15 is now up to 43. I couldn't be happier right now.

I am pregnant. Holy crap. I never thought I'd be saying those words again.

The only thing I am bummed about right now is I'll be losing many of my readers. But hey that's okay if that is what they need to do. Even I admitted that I stopped reading (okay, I still read, I just stopped commenting) all of the pregnancy blogs while I was going around and around on this infertility merry go round. It's fucking hard to read about someone's pregnancy, especially when you are in the throws of treatment. I ~hope~ everyone continues to read me, but if you don't, I'll understand. I can't expect others to do something I couldn't do myself!

This is my 3rd pregnancy though. So this won't turn into an overflowing with pregnancy stuff. I will talk about things, sure. But I think I'm over the fact my boobs will get bigger. Or my shopping day for maternity clothes. It will probably be more of a bitch fest about getting fat, as I'm an early shower to begin with and I can only imagine with #3 will do to me. I'm still going to be sarcastic as all hell and I'll probably revert back into my musings of daily life. So if you want, stick with me, will ya?

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I did want to take a moment to thank the hell out of you all. 80 comments on my BFP post? Holy shit. Really? And I'll tell you, it was thrilling! So thank you.

And thank you for supporting me when I jumped the gun and thought my cycle was over. Here I was, crying in my bowl of Capt'n Crunch and you girls couldn't of been nicer. You were all completely genuine - I knew that so many of you really cared about me. It wasn't fake - it was real. And I felt it from you girls. I felt this love through your words. Overwhelming I tell you. Overwhelming.

And then here I was, 2 days later, changing my story to get congratulations sent my way. What a big jerk I am! But really, I didn't know. I honestly thought it was over. (yeah yeah, all you anti poas-ers can give me all the "I told you so!!!" comments you want. ~wink~). So, I must eat my words. But I have to admit, this is the best plate of crow I've ever had in my life.

Thank you. Thank all of you for being so fucking awesome. (except those anons who are fucking bitches. ~smile~.)

I'm about to turn blue. - Updated w/ bfp progression

How long can someone hold their breath?

I read David Blaine held his breath for a total of 17 minutes and 4 seconds just last month. (of course this was with saturating his blood with pure O2, but details, details, right?)

I have been holding my breath since Friday. And even though this allows me to take a few cheater breaths ...

... I still don't get to exhale and take in a new breath until Monday's return call for the results of beta #2.

As you may be able to tell from the photo above, the line is getting darker. I just can't tell by how much (quantitatively. I can see qualitatively) - and that is what is driving me batty. It looks to coincide with an early pregnancy, or in my case, a late implantation. Low Beta = Light HPT Lines = Late Implantation, but yet, I fret about it.

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Also - I have a question. If this pregnancy is, in fact, viable, (omg, I'm pregnant) I want a baby widget thing. BUT, these things freak me out. I don't like these creepy bouncing baby thingies. But I also love the fact it shows what the baby is looking like during that week.

Does anyone know of baby widgets (not the tickers, a widget) that isn't so freaky-deaky?

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Yet another progression with the newest one added to the end.

What I think is so crazy is these tests are only, at most, 12 hours apart. And heck, the time between the two extremes (top and bottom) is only 30 hours. Quite a change for just a day's time, dontcha think?

Note - I am working very strange hours this week. For instance, I had to be in the office the morning at 1:45am - so that is why I have a pee stick at such a strange time. I am obsessive, yes, but I'm not overly so!

Beta = 4.1

Negative. The 4.1 is "most likely" from trigger, so they wanted me to come in for beta#2 in a few days - but I'll be out of town. I have another beta next saturday (don't know why they'd want a second one since my AF would have already started).

We discussed March IVF. If I wasn't going out of town, I could have possibly started THIS MONTH, but with insurance and all that, it'd be a little iffy. So we're going to start suppression with bcp as soon as AF arrives and March 17th will mark when things start to happen. She'll give me a detailed protocol/calendar at my appointment next Saturday.