The S/A. Why so glum, chum?

Why on earth do I hear so many women say "My poor darling husband has to get an s/a done."? WTF? Why does so many women feel like they have to coddle the man in regards to a sperm analysis?

Sure, it's embarrassing. But it's not like they have to sit there while the nurse watched them whack off. They get to do what they do naturally, just the deposit is in a cup instead of thrown away. No one chuckles at this test. No one snickers and points fingers saying "I know what you just did!". It's a fucking normal test for a man, yet they are treated like God's for "subjecting" themselves to it.

Get over it guys. No one cares. You know what I do care about though? When you are too juvenile to turn in the sample yourself. I see ~so many~ women bring in the samples hidden in the recesses of their coats/purses/bags and hand it over like they are smuggling heroin. I don't get it. But I bet these are the women who also hide their tampons, like the public will gasp in horror if they catch a glimpse of a plastic wrapper in hand on the way to the bathroom. When I bring it in, I turn in the sample like a normal person. I don't whisper. I don't hide it. It was, in fact, in my coat on the way in, but that's because they always say to keep the sucker warm. Once I'm in there, it's not treated like a dirty secret. (although I would like to note the one woman who turned in the sample without the little white paper bag. She just had the cup, filled with her husband's man juice, for all to see. I would of rather appreciated some secrecy from her.)

But I digress. This post isn't about how women are embarrassed by their husband's sperm, it's about men sucking it up and taking one for the team. I've taken in a sample before for my husband. In fact, I've taken it in twice. The first was because I had an appointment and he didn't have to attend the appointment with me. The second time was when I needed a sample for them to freeze for IUI #2 because he was leaving town at 645am. I got him to do his duty and then got it there by 7am opening. But if he refused to take it in because he was too embarrassed? There'd be some trouble here in NancyLand.

I know a wonderful girl who has been begging her husband to go and get his S/A done. He refuses. Well, he doesn't refuse - he actually promises her that he'll schedule it "next week", but it never comes to fruition. She is obviously irritated at his lack of caring to do his part in their journey to become parents. This is not a one sided thing, although it's close to it. Women take the brunt in the testing and most guys only have to do this one little test. I find it hilarious when a man says his men are fine, but won't just take a test to certify that little tidbit. Is it actually some deep down psychological thing where they are scared to test their manhood? I would like to think this is the case, because it would make me feel a little sympathy, but I don't buy it. It's all about the masterbation. Plain and simple.

Speaking of tests being one sided, let me take a poll. Tell me, anonymously if you'd like, how many tests/treatments/procedures YOU have undergone in your journey so far. Throw me a number. Count all those HSGs, HSSs, laps, u/s, b/w, everything. Count em up. I bet that most of you seasoned treatment girls wouldn't even be able to BEGIN to give me a number, can you? THEN, after you give me your number, tell me how many things your husband as had to endure. Then, for anyone out there who'd husband still won't take this little test, show him the comments. Show him how much is out there for us and all we ask for them is this one little thing.

I don't know where all this comes from. My husband has given plenty of samples and doesn't have an issue with it. I'm just annoyed for my friend. I'm annoyed for other random bloggers. Plus, I just left my doctor's appointment and got the first glipse of my frankenstein~esque foot. Nothing to do with sperm, but I'm in a snarky mood.