A vent about males in general? Or just my husband?

I swear, sometimes I don't see the difference in me being hubby's mother or his wife.

He doesn't "take well" to negative things being said to him. Anything at all. For example, he was organizing some of his work crap in the garage last night. We were in the midst of the winter blizzard hitting half of the nation, so it was cold and he put the little space heater on. Well, he's got the greatest memory (said with the most sarcasm I can muster) and he's always forgetting to turn shit off when he's done using it. Which lead me to a wonderful surprise this morning, when I went in the garage to start my car this morning, warming it up before leaving for surgery, I saw that the heater was on - glowing bright red. Nice! It pissed me off and I wanted to go throttle him in his sleep, but instead, I just took note of it.

Tonight, after he totally blew me off all day - on a day I had freaking surgery and needed a little help (okay, that's another issue all together) - I mention "hey, you left the heater on in the garage all night." What does he say in response? "Okay" and walks out of the room.

Now this is where I don't know if it's just an issue I have with MY male, or if all males have this problem. Why in the hell can't he just accept he did something "wrong" and say "oh gosh, I'm sorry!" or anything that accepts blame? I know he didn't do it on purpose, but something more than "okay" - is it really too much to ask for? I've got plenty of options he could have said "Whoops!" "Whoa! I didn't mean to!" "Shit, I did?" "I am so lucky I didn't burn down the house by my stupid fucking mistake" "I gotta make sure I don't do that again" "sorry."

Any of those would of been acceptable. But instead, I get "okay".

I don't know if it all goes back to him being an only child and having everything done for him. He's a momma's boy - always way, always will be. It annoys me to no end, but I knew what I was getting into before I married him, so there is no one to blame here but myself. I just didn't understand that I was in for a lifetime of NEVER being able to say anything that is negative to him - whether it was a simple mistake, something he just didn't know or something I am actually pissed at because it was done on purpose.

Like this morning. I am in post op. I just got out of my 4th uterine surgery. I've got about the worst cramps ever and I just want to get home. I've been waiting for him to get me for almost 45 minutes and my cell phone rings. It's him asking me if I was at a certain surgery center. Um, no - "I'm at the one 3 minutes from the house. Are you AT the other place?" I ask, obviously annoyed. Hey, I'm in pain. I've been waiting for my husband to be there after I wake up. I'm not in the best of moods for errors regarding this situation. What does he say in response? "Oh hunny, I'm so sorry! I can't believe I'm not there. I must have not listened when you told me the details of the surgery, I'll be there as soon as I can!". Instead, I get "You didn't tell me where you were going to be!!! I'll be there in a few minutes". Click. Yeah. CLICK.

My husband is the greatest husband in pretty much all other aspects. I would have to say my only real issue with him is this very thing. He gets very defensive whenever ANY sort of negative issue comes his was. I don't know why he's like this, but it really really really sucks. I've gotten to where I don't even say anything anymore. And that's not going to work in the long run because I'll explode one day. I know I have my issues too, I'm definitely not saying I'm the angel, but I wish he'd be easier to talk to in these situations.

I know he wanted to be there for me and I know he was frustrated that he wasn't there AND he was obviously in the wrong place due to miscommunication. I know this. But that's the problem, I don't want to just "know" this. I want it to be reflected in his actions. Without it, I'm afraid of the future.