TheNewLifeOfNancy...: No comments please.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

No comments please.

I suddenly have this feeling that this isn't going to be my cycle.

With all the excitement of still getting bfps, I just know it's still from my trigger. (for those of you not reading today - it's 11 days past original hcg trigger of 6,666 UIs and only 5 days past the support trigger of 3,334 UIs of hcg).

Even though I have my first triphasic chart of my life, I know it still doesn't mean anything.

I just I know tomorrow's BFN at 11dpIUI is going to happen. I know I'm going to get another BFN at 12dpIUI. I know my beta that day will show nothing.

I was so full of hope until just a little while ago, where I just got a sudden feeling that this is not my month. I will have to continue on to IVF where I don't know what the outcome will be.

Wow, a sudden sadness has just overcome me.

This isn't for anyone to try to lift my spirits or to try to get "good lucks" coming my way. I just wanted to put this out in a place someone would understand. And just listen to.

4 comments:

Lori Lavender Luz said...: Listening and hearing.

And sitting with you.; January 30, 2008 at 5:53 PM
Confessions of a momaholic said...: wow! was gone all day and missed the day of questions and answers. you had some good questions and even better answers. my question, although don't be compelled to answer it......why do you definitely plan to stop ttc when you turn 36?; January 30, 2008 at 7:49 PM
nancy said...: For the health risks to the baby. I don't want to risk the heath of a baby just to fulfill my wish to have another.; January 30, 2008 at 7:51 PM
Anonymous said...: No comment given just a big ol hug!; January 31, 2008 at 1:08 AM

My TTC History

Jul 01 ~ married
Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
Aug 05 ~ Allison born
Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!