I got a call from my sister this morning. I guess the not pregnant niece got her package...
I was chatting over the unfairities of life w/ a friend when my other line beeped.
"What is wrong with you?" the person on the other line seethed. Ah. Sisterly love.
See, after I found out my stupid sister is allowing a 33 year old man to stay the night and diddle her teenage daughter, I sent my niece a gift. A giant box of condoms. And hey - they were nice condoms! Trojans lubricated w/ spermicide. No, I didn't go as far as getting her something for "her ~and~ his pleasure", but I spent over $30 on the box. She obviously needs them if she had a pregnancy scare.
The package was simply addresses to my niece. No note. Nothing.
So why is my sister calling me up? Was it unethical or immoral to give a teenager condoms? And the audacity to ask what is wrong with me when she is the one who is allowing some out of work 33 year old divorcee, with a teenage child of his own, sleep with her own teenage daughter?
It's one thing for a nineteen year old to have a pregnancy scare with another nineteen year old, but with a man in his 30s? ick.
Hey - I have a poll down at the VERY bottom of my page on the right ... Can you please take it for me? (I had to repost the poll because people voted while I was still adding in the options, so if you were one of the first 3 to vote last time, please re-vote!)
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
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January
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- Does this progesterone make my boobs look big?
- We talked about our "next step"
- That answers that.
- No comments please.
- Questions & Answers, Part II
- Questions and Answers
- Girls (and guys), today is "help Nancy out" day.
- 10dpIUI updates (now with confession!)
- Word Verification.
- oh yes, my 9dpIUI poas update.
- Holy crap. I got tagged!
- Pineapple #3 is done.
- As I start to obsess...
- 7dpIUI
- A few quizzes stolen from another blog.
- I'm allergic to pineapple.
- HPTs.
- Quick note about "age difference in dating"
- 5dpIUI 'trigger' injection plus POAS party plans.
- "What is wrong with you?" (& poll)
- "I have never knowingly taken steroids"
- Infertility sucks.
- I can be very self involved.
- The Hepatitis Song from Arizona
- A sweet surprise.
- I have a new post
- Colorado Bloggers ...
- Added in my TTC History to sidebar
- Lining (what is good?), IUI stats & IVF success rates
- Operation Spermination. Take 3.
- How long does an egg "live"?
- An update to today's news ...
- I like my eggs sunny side up.
- I love to POAS.
- Chugga Chugga Choo Choo! (updated)
- Vitamin poll.
- Bouncing baby tickers on pregnancy blogs.
- Eggs-cellant
- an answer?
- A few random things in my head.
- can my belly hurt a little LESS please?
- and when things suck, ~i~ suck.
- still sobbing on and off
- Nope, hope gone now. Cycle Cancelled.
- cycle close to being cancelled.
- And for my 200th post ....
- No, it's not about you.
- I'll sandwich the bad w/ two "goods"
- Whew. Huge IF vent. HUGE.
- cd13 update & a "holy crap" advil/aleve warning!
- I'm high.
- Whoa. I'm totally banning the Tyra Banks show.
- Two small things. Okay, three.
- I'm a big fat liar!
- Righty is an over achiever.
- Well now, ~that~ is a new one.
- Should I? (updated)
- I got a fancy new scale.
- Oh good lord.
- To wrap up ... Canadian healthcare coverage vs mine.
- I'm inspired.
- I almost had to "bleed" a pregnant lady.
- Assvice RULES
- When did I become "that woman"?
- Want in on a weird secret?
- My RE is on TOP of things (financially)
- Anyone ever take Femara/Letrozole?
- Creme de la Creme 2007
- HSS? We don't need no stinkin' HSS.
- cd1 snuck up on me.
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January
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21 comments:
I think that your package was perfect. There's obviously nothing wrong with you- but maybe your sister can't handle that there might be something wrong with her or her daughter. It's such a classic response when you are 'called out' on one of your faults or flaws.
and I voted- even though I am 28- I pretended for a moment I was 30... Hope it doesn't skew your responses too much! ;o)
I feel sick.
Great gift idea.
Maybe your sister's just mad about you not getting the Pleasure ones.
Ha ha.
I think it was a perfectly acceptable gift to send when obviously your sister isn't thinking about protecting her daughter.
And you KNOW that your niece is going to use 'em.
I dated a 30yo a few times when I was 21. We had very little in common. It was wierd.
I think given the pg scare your present was totally warranted! What made your sis think it was from you, any idea?
When I first saw your poll, I thought "darn, I'm too young to vote." But then I remembered, I did just turn 30.
But yeah, if he's going to let a 30-something live with her daughter then sounds like she definitely needs some protection!
I was also thinking that my vote would be much different if I was in my mid to late 30's or older.
LMAO, That is EXACTLY what I love about you Nancy, you are not afraid to acknowledge the Pink Elephant in the room.
You are my Hero.
Sadly, instead of being appreciated or respected, we get labeled as the "Shit Causer" when we simply just want to live with our head out of our ass mixed with a little humor.
Nic - My address was the return address on the package. I just didn't enclose a note.
I am also not yet 30 but I did vote. My dh and I are 7 years apart so I am sure that played a role in my vote as well. I was 19 and he was 25 (almost 26) when we started dating.
That was the perfect gift. Maybe your sister's response was a defense mechanism for trying not to think about what she should have done differently to prevent the situation in the first place. Just a guess.
Good for you hun, I think the package was perfect too.
The only one with something "wrong" with them is your sister for letting that 33 year old in her house to have sex with her 19 year old daughter. That, to me, is the only thing wrong with this situation.
What you did was awesome in so many ways.
I've been on both sides of the age gap and in retrospect it can get a little creepy. When I was 24 I moved in with a 41 year old. In retrospect (as in now that I'm 30 I couldn't imagine being with a 47 year old) I wonder what I was thining. More so I wonder what a 41 year old man saw in a 24 year old woman. Probably the same thing a 33 year old man sees in a 19 year old girl.
I like the gift you sent and think it was quite appropriate.
Oh, and I voted for 25. This is only because I'm 30 right now & I have a 5 year rule.
But you were 24. A young woman, yes, but not a CHILD. Teenagers, to me, just seem that they should be off limits. Old men shouldn't troll the high schools for a date.
When I was 19, I dated a 36 year old man. I think I was fairly mature for my age, but to say that I was as mature as I am now is a stretch. He was a great man, and I learned a lot. I think the age difference was an issue for him in the long run. The thing I really respected about him is that he treated me as an adult. We were both consenting adults, so I didn't see an issue and neither did he.
We remained friends, but unfortunately, he died an untimely death at the early age of 47 from cancer. Honestly, the planet is not the same without this man, in my opinion. His friends and colleagues feel the same way. Life seems so unfair sometimes.
Oh, and my husband is 11 years older than I am. What can I say, I like older, mature men!
Oh my goodness - GOOD ON YOU for sending them to her. I'm guessing no Hallmark card from sis for your next birthday? Oops ..
Just off to vote now ..
Your package sounds great. I'm sure once your sister thinks about it a bit, she'll realize it was both funny and that it sent a serious message to your niece.
I am actually older than my husband, but no, it's not that he has a thing about older women - we're 13 days apart :-)
I think your gift was a great idea! And I can't believe your sister is upset about it. Does she *want* her daughter to get pregnant by this man? Jeez.
I think it's awesome that you sent those on. What is wrong with your sister that she thinks it's ok for them to sleep together and NOT use protection?
As for the age thing - I was 20 when I started dating my dh, who was 29. In his defense, I pursued him. Also, I think the maturity level makes a big difference - I was a pretty mature 20 year old, I certainly wasn't living at home, and I knew to use a condom.
That's what I love about you, Nancy. You've got BALLS. You inspire me.
I love your gift. It's useful, thoughtful and clearly something they don't already have themselves.
Good for you for getting your two cents in with the creepy old man and his concubine.
Good gift for your neice.
Why would a 33 yr old man want to live with his 19 yr old girlfriend at her mom's house? Is he paying rent??
When I was 25 I dated a 35 yr old and he was the most immature man I have ever dated. I guess that has influenced my views on your post. The guys needs to grow up!
I am LMFAO right now at you nancy
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