dealth of kurt. flash. the 27 club.

kurt cobain died 17 years ago. FUCKING 17 years ago. That's ridiculous. My brain can't even get around the 17 years. I remember when I heard. I was in my office (job i had during college) and I just the door and just sat in silence. i was pissed. very very angry. how could he leave us? and then it hit me that he was in the fucking 27 club which he used to say he wanted in on. 27 was just too young. (look it up if you don't know what the 27 club is) .I was only 5 years younger than him. 22. my age when i considerer someone smart enough to be called an adult is 25. he was 2 past that and i was 3 years too young. it broke my heart. and it still breaks my heart. let's see... later on, i guess i wanted to live like him and did the hip H addiction too. I could understand the wanting to die. the apathy of dealth. but he meant someone to me. to many of us. and i can still cry today over that overbearing loss. my heart breaks for courtney fuck you if you don't like her. she loved him. he loved her. she gave him a gorgeous baby that is francis bean. my heart breaks for her too. to not be able to ~have~ her dad when he was so, so. what. amazing. the right words won't come. i hope your energy has reevolved kurt. you were one of this world's greatest losses. god damn it. i'm glad i met him the stupid ass times i did at early shows. but i kick myself in the ass for an invite i couldn't take when i would be with francis bean's nanny at a show. a show very close to the end.

anyway - the death of ryan dunn has opened my wound for kurt.

and i just found out my first tattoo artist died recently. fuck. death sucks.

i'm bringing back the grunge flannel wearing. i'm wearing one over a wife beater right now. go 90s.


i love you kurt. i miss you.