I had such a mixture of ttc experiences.
For Ella, we ttc for 18 cycles. We did all the tests and exploratory surgery. Everything came out normal. I was diagnosed as unexplained, but knowing what we know now, it was most likely my lining that caused the trouble. We were in our way to our first iui and I got pregnant before we were able to move ahead.
With Allison, we got that elusive bfp on our first cycle. I got a taste of what it was like being "fertile". We were blessed.
With Karl came the big issues. I had uterine anomalies due to the previous deliveries. Scar tissue and cysts. I wasn't ovulating on my own anymore, instead, I was growing huge cysts. To get the eggos to leggo, I needed to be triggered with hcg. But my uterus wasn't healthy, with the help of an hss, we found my uterus was sealed 70% shut with scar tissue. It took four surgeries to make my uterus clear. And then the lining issues took over again. Our first ivf transfer was cancelled. Our fet was traumatic trying to get my lining to respond. With a mere 7mm lining, we went forward and thawed out nine embryos. At the time of transfer, we had four embyies ready to go. The doctor thought moving forward would be a wasted cycle, but I had to complete it. I couldn't cancel again. And low and behold, a pregnancy happened. It was high risk and after a mere 26 ultrasounds to check on the baby, things were coming to a close. A manual version later, my water broke and labor was on. Another traumatic delivery later, I had Karl in my arms.
Three babies, three different types of ttc, three different deliveries. Three different recoveries. I experienced it all. Well, not all, as so much could have gone differently, but I experienced a lot. Nothing followed the rule book. Nothing was the same.
After all was said and done, I can't tell you which ttc story was the "best". Although we were lucky one time with a cycle #1 bfp, I'm happy all my bfps weren't so easy. And I'm happy I got the pleasure to do something extreme as ivf and an fet instead of just getting pregnant after unexplained as I did with Ella.
You'd think after experiencing everything, I would wish we didn't have so much trouble. You'd think I'd wish everything went as well as allison's bfp. But I don't. I find myself feeling blessed I had to work at it. I feel blessed we had our mixture of ttc stories. I feel blessed to have gone through 3 iuis, and ivf and fet for Karl. But I also feel blessed to have gone through 18 cycles of unexplained for Ella.
I guess I'm trying to explain to women out there to not feel unlucky to have to move forward with their ttc. Only knowing now what I know, I'm not jealous of "fertiles". In fact, I'm happy I was not fertile. I got the experience of fighting with all I had for a pregnancy. I don't know of this will make sense, especially to those still ttc out there. But I would have missed out in so much if getting pregnant was simply easy.
Don't feel unlucky if your ttc experience isn't easy. You never know how an experience will change you. You may end up feeling the same as I do.
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