Friday, June 3, 2011

suck my jolly rancher.

Mmmmmm. Jolly ranchers. The guy who site next to me at work has a huge fishbowl full of them. And it made me realize I have no will power when it comes to free candy.

I want to conduct a little poll. Please give your answer in the comments...

What craptastic event in the following list has ~not~ happened to me in the past month or so?

A. I developed a case of infantigo, most common in children, or folliculitis (on my chin, cheek and upper lip) which then blossomed into a huge Staph A infection. I had to take 5 different antibiotics (including IV antis) until it finally started to respond after having to hide out from the public for two weeks, just so I wouldn't be mistaken for a leper. The blisters formed in each and every hair follicle in clusters of sores that were not only bright red, they were painful. The blisters were very unstable, just brushing up against them would make them seep with fluid, which didn't allow me to even try to cover them up with a little concealer. I was mortified and stayed in the house for almost two weeks, in which it finally began to heal.

B. I crashed my car because I swerved to avoid hitting a dog in the road. My tires caught the curb and launched my car up diagonally into a telephone pole. I went for a ride in an ambulance to the ER to take xrays of my neck, which was injured in the accident. I lost about 16 hours of my life due to a concussion. I don't remember leaving work that day, the scene of the aftermath of the accident, the police, the paramedics, the ambulance ride, the hospital, or coming home from hospital. To make matters worse, I got a ticket for careless driving.

C. While petting a stray cat who has been in my neighborhood for years, suddenly decided he had enough petting and bit me on the wrist. I thought nothing of it until a golf ball lump appeared. The penicillin I self prescribed didn't seem to be working. It progressed even further, the infection now taking over from below my wrist bone to the bottom of my thumb. It was hot to the touch and I lost all elasticity in my skin - if pushed down on it with my finger (and endure the massive pain that came with touching it), it reacted like playdough, leaving an actual indentation in the skin. I went to urgent care where I received 2 shots of antibiotics in the hip, a Rx for an oral med and an antibiotic topical cream. The infection calmed down and went away, but left me with nerve damage from tip of thumb to wrist.

D. I got kicked out of girl scouts (I was a leader) because I stuck up for my ~entire~ troop, instead of rewarding just a few girls. The bank account was in my name and I refused to spend most of the money on summer camp for only 4-5 girls. The moms wanted to use the money for ~their~ girls because on average, they sold the most girl scout cookies for the troop. The thing is, the money we get from that should benefit everyone, not just the top sellers. Well, the mothers of those girls flipped out and called the girl scout council to try to get me kicked out as a leader, which would give them access to the bank account to do what they wanted. Everything I did was to make it fair for ALL girls, and to not be bullied my a group of jr high acting mothers. They made up huge stories about me and the girl scout council forced me to resign.

Okay, take a guess as to which one did NOT happen to me. Good luck!

Try to guess! Good luck!

18 comments:

jenn said...

I know the answer already so I won't cheat & give it away on the first comment! But I'm glad that 1 out of 4 didn't actually happen! (at least I hope you aren't being sneaky and they all happened!)
I will say that I am going to have to get rid of all candy in my house now that I'm not preggo, I can't resist it either! Very dangerous...

Shannon said...

Unfortunately this is a tough one because you're pretty accident prone. My guess is going to have to be B though. I don't really have a good reason for my guess.

Ella said...

Oh no! I'm sorry ANY of those things happened to you, let alone THREE out of the FOUR??? I'm gonna guess B...

Ella said...

Oh no! I'm sorry ANY of those things happened to you, let alone THREE out of the FOUR??? I'm gonna guess B...

Lisa said...

My guess is that they probably all happened and it's a trick question. But if I had to pick one, I would say C.

I am so sorry you've had a shitty last couple of weeks. Here's to hoping the next few are better!

MrsSpock said...

I guess that ALL of the above happened. I do not trust your luck!

Sara said...

Knowing your luck Nancy, I am saying they all happened to you. God love ya-I don't know how this crazy shit always happens to you!

Kelly said...

I agree with Mrs Spock... I bet ALL of them happened:(

Kristin said...

Damn that truly sucks to a whole new level...truly craptastic...if I had to guess, I'd same #4.

I'm a sucker for Jolly Ranchers too.

Kristin said...

I should have said D instead of #4

Morgan Owens said...

Well I'm going to assume all of them happened to you, but if one didn't then you have a damn good imagination :)

Searching said...

I agree, I think all of the above. That is a pretty insane month. It only can get better from here!!!

Julie said...

Wow, I don't even know which one to pick. I'm sorry that even one of these things has happened.

I'm going to guess that B didn't happened.

To A T said...

I'm guessing C, although I wouldn;t be surprised if they ALL happened to you. Yikes!!

jill said...

My guess is B but damn all those things are horrible. I'm sorry 3 happened to you :(

Mareike said...

My guess is B, not that you wouldn't swerve to hit a dog but you are a skilled driver. My second guess is that they all have happened to you but one didn't happen in the last month.
Okay, you must let us know.
Meanwhile, it's wonderful to "hear" from you again.

Mareike said...

oops I meant to avoid hitting a dog.

Sarah R said...

Holy crap, girl! That ALL sucks!!! Here's to hoping you have a better run of good luck. C'mon, stars! Please help Nancy out! ;)