I've been deflated.

My appointment got moved up to this morning and I am happy to report the balloon has been removed. Oh my goodness, that was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever had to deal with in regards to my girlie parts. And ~ouch~, the pain during removal was outstanding. I actually let out a little yelp, tightened up and started crying. The pain was unbearable. Reminded me of labor, to tell you the truth, but instead of it lasting 22 hours, it was only a few minutes. I'm still quite tender/crampy, but better. And that's all I can hope for right now.

As for the future plan. It seemed to be pretty much exactly what I thought it would be. I have to take estrogen and my birth control pills for another week. Then once I stop the pills and get my cycle, I call and make an appoinment for an HSS to happen in the next week. The HSS will give us all the information we'll need to decide if the surgery was a success or not. The upcoming cycle will also be a TAB cycle, as I will need a complete full cycle under my belt to help in the healing process. This means my next cycle could possibly be as soon as mid-december and we can get back on the ttc boat.

This next cycle does have some worries for me though. Without a trigger, I don't know if I'll be able to release the egg my follie will make. I make follies just fine and dandy, but I don't release them without help - at least I haven't been able to release them without help during the last year. This cycle will be a huge 'wait and see' which may end well - as a normal ovulation cycle without any left over cysts, or I may come in for my cd3 baseline and walk away with ~another~ script for birth control. I really, really hope that doesn't happen. BUT, I am a little excited to see what happens. I know that I've been scared to have a natural cycle because of the risk of cysts, so I've always opted for monitored cycles paired with triggers. Since I'm being forced to have a 'normal' cycle, it's really out of my hands and I won't be able to worry about what I could have done to stop it from happening.

So that's my update. 5-6 more weeks stuck in a holding pattern. Sucks, but what can I do?

Hrm. IUI cycle will be cheaper this month?

My RE's office called me ~4~ times today. I must be a VIP there suddenly.

1st - nurse called to tell me she got the message it was cd2 today and wants me in first thing in the morning.
2nd - front desk called to tell me that if doc approves IUI, I'll need to pay tomorrow. (duh.)
3rd - nurse called again to see if I had a surgical report from my surgery. Nope. They'll get it from my OB who did the surgery.
4th - front desk called again to tell me that an IUI this cycle will be $572 instead of $650. No idea why.

I'm really nervous about what they are going to tell me.
~ Doc can suggest I take another month break before ttc again. This will break my heart.
~ Doc can suggest a non-med cycle to allow the best uterine conditions possible for another month.
~ Doc can suggest Femara IUI cycle due to lining isn't put at risk like it is w/ clomid.
~ Doc can suggest another 100mg round of clomid IUI cycle.

I'm really up for ANYTHING ~except~ TAB. The one thing I am worried about though is a non-monitored cycle.

As you may remember I have a history of follicular cyst. Everything looks great right up until actual ovulation. I get a mature follicle. I get an LH surge. And then, "leggo of my eggo" doesn't happen. Instead, the follicle freaks out and grows to amazing proportions in just 3-5 days. The largest measured cyst was 9.5 cms. The most were 3 at one time - (2) 7cms and (1) 9cm. THAT was really fun. So nice and comfortable.

Thankfully, these cysts go away within 3ish weeks. Which means they are still present on the next month's cd3 baseline. True, they always collapse and disappear in the first week or so of the next cycle, but no freaking RE will allow me to pursue a treatment plan with a big ole 9cm cyst in place. I have to say though, it's quite amazing how it can go from 9cm to literally zero in a span of a week. The first time my RE didn't even believe it.

Anywho, it's a vicious cycle (no pun intended). Each month I will have a left over cyst from the previous month. So to counteract this, once I get a cyst, I have to go on BCP for the next month, so I can get clean ovaries on the next cycle. Do you follow that? I would only get a chance at a cycle every other month. And "chance" is relative here, because with the cyst present, there was no ovulation, so no "chance" actually even existed in the first place.

Which leads me to my panic.

I would like to see if the 8 straight months of cysts have suddenly fixed itself. But if I wait, I'll screw myself for 2 months. But if I don't wait and just continue to be triggered by act of an IUI cycle's monitoring, I will be spending A LOT of money out of pocket for each month's monitoring. I don't mind having natural cycles really. As long as I have a chance. So I don't need IUIs. We'll be going to the big IVF next year if no pregnancy anyway, so I really don't want to spend $650/month until we get there (okay, $572 each month?).

I have a solution but I don't know how plausible it is. On a non-IUI cycle, allow me to do the opks. Once I get a positive, get an u/s 48 hours later. This should be over the 12-36 hours timeframe of ovulation. And if I just have a big ole massive follicle that STILL hasn't burst, trigger me then. Wouldn't that work? There may be more to it if it's already in the process of becoming a cyst. I know the cyst grows to enormous proportions very quickly, so adding in hcg to it may really trip it out and make it explode. Hell, I don't know. But I'm still going to ask.

The nice thing is, my appointment is in 8 hours from now. I get to be violated with the magic wand bright and early at 7am. Nice, eh?