Thursday, July 16, 2009


Doesn't a post entitled "ammunition" seem like it's going to get down and dirty and schnarky? heh. I simply didn't want to say "bullets" again for this type of fill-me-in post.

So. The shit in my life has taken over. I'm not actually too busy to blog, I'm just too lazy and depressed to blog. And then I get too far behind and I think of all the wonderful people (you) who are keeping tabs on me, which makes me know I need to go catch up and support you, which overwhelms me, which makes me watch another episode of "nurse jackie" or whatever else I have DVRd. It's a vicious cycle.

My life isn't totally shit though, there are lots of good things about it. I bet most people looking in wouldn't even realize the bad state I'm truly in, as I ~think~ I'm hiding it well, which of course backfires on me when my true feelings suddenly pop out and the other person doesn't understand what the fuck is up with me.

This may be long, but as lengthy as I am when I type, I'll try my best to be brief but to also catch you up on everything.

~ Death Cab For Cutie was awesome. Tom doesn't like them, as they are quite emo, so he wore his "fuckemos" (a texas punk band) shirt in protest. But he was a good sport. I think Ben's voice is beautiful. My wonderful friend E's husband is their tour manager and we got vip tickets, meaning we got to sit in the roped off area adjacent to the sound board, so we we had lots of room and a fabulous view of the show. I got super loaded and we ate at ihop before going home. Happy anniversary to us.

~ The braces bunch girls are awesome.

I've received a few cards and notes in the mail recently and I couldn't be happier about it. Something about the fact these girls took the extra time and energy to send a card is just amazing. So THANK YOU bb girls. I promise I will turn around and support you all right back someday. But for right now, just know you really did something to brighten a shitty day.

~ No word on hep c yet. I have an appointment for a blood test early next week.

~ My tooth. Holy shit. In pure nancy-luck fashion, a toothache has turned into a $4,000 headache. Let me just give the quick rundown.
- Over a decade ago, one of my molars (tooth a) cracked while eating nachos. NACHOS.
- Got a root canal.
- Root canal got infected and had to get it redone.
- A few years later, the tooth behind it (tooth b) started hurting. Tooth A's root canal was failing and it infected tooth b.
- Tooth A is pulled (can't redo it a 3rd time)
- Tooth B gets a root canal
- The tooth in front of tooth a (tooth b), gets drilled down to fit a temporary bridge.
- Tooth A's "hole" won't stop bleeding. I'm paging dentist. No answer. I'm bleeding a lot. I filled up 2 water bottles with spitting blood within an hour. Hubby makes me go to ER. Emergency oral surgery at 1am from a very understanding dentist the hospital paged removes temp bridge and stitches me up.
- I go to my dentist next day and he's an asshole. Says I'm too swollen now to do anything. Doesn't apologize for not answering page.
- I develop dry socket on tooth a's hole. Most painful thing ever.
- I come in to get bridge fit and dentist goes to give me shot and I flinch, as the dry socket pain was indescribable. He gets flustered at me flinching, yells "god damn it!", stands up quickly which makes the little stool he was sitting on fall to the ground. He takes off his gloves, throws them down and stomps out. I am so shocked at his behavior I break out in tears. Nurses say he's an ass and they fit my bridge themselves without any novocaine for the exposed root of tooth c.
- I file complaint with state board and to my surprise, it's taken seriously. It goes to trial and dentist loses his licence for a year. Not for him being an asshole, but for not answering his page when I was bleeding. They looked at that as he put me in a life threatening position.
- Which leads to last week. Tooth B hurt. My root canal is now failing and infected. Dentist sends me to entodontist. My body is rejecting my tooth. I am told I need to get back molar (tooth b) pulled. Bridge cut off at tooth C (leaving the crown on shaved down tooth) and an implant inserted in the hole for tooth a and tooth b. OR I can just replace tooth a. Silly me wants all my teeth. Except it's $4,000 per implant. So looking to at least replace tooth b.
- Oral surgeon to pull tooth b. Endodonist to place implant in my jaw bone. Dentist to fit crown on implant. Estimated $4,000.

~ My foot isn't healing as quickly as I think it should. Saw surgeon today and he said "this sometimes happens" and explains that I'm still severely bruised. Gave me pain patches to go right on foot so my tummy isn't torn apart from even more ibuprofen. I go back in 2 weeks.

~ Going to Mile High Music Festival this weekend with some of our best friends. I am so excited to see The Black Keys, Incubus and Tool. Ben Harper is playing at same time as the black keys, so I'll miss him, but I'm still super hyped.

~ Family is good. I put up pictures and news on my other blog.

~ There are so many bloggers I am missing right now. You all know who you are.

~ Which brings me to thanking you all, once again, for the comments. I read EACH AND EVERY ONE of them and honestly, sometimes that's what gets me through a day. I can't list all of your names here in this post, but I could. I know who is supporting me and gosh, I feel so shitty I'm not doing the same for all of you. You guys have been my rock through a lot. And while I understand shit I'm going through isn't too bad, shit being piled on top of shit is starting to look like an impossible mountain for me to climb. So thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you for commenting. I appreciate each and every one of you. And can't believe some of you still take the time to comment to me when it seems like I'm not responding to you. But I swear that I know each and everyone of you who is commenting and I can't thank you enough for being my friend.


Lavender Luz said...

XO, Nancy.

Io said...

All the little and not so little shit adds up to a big stinking pile. And that tooth stuff sounds fucking awful. I am having sympathy tooth pains just reading it.
I hope the shit turns to fertilizer soon (or some other cheesy awful cliche)

Melissa said...

man alive (about your tooth)

The fact that you're sane and dealing with as much as you can with all of that pain (foot & teeth) is fucking amazing. So I hope you give yourself some credit on that stuff.

We'll be here :) We want you to be better!!! That's how life goes sometimes ya know, sometimes we're the rock and sometimes we're floating down river trying to bump into a rock to stop the current. ((HUGS))

Miss Tori said...

Ah shucks, Nancy, you're going to make us blush!

calliope said...

Io said it best (how the hell does she always do that??)- but I also hope all of this shit turns into some high class fertilizer. and soon.
I totally get the oppression of life some days and I just hate that you have soooooooo much fucking ammunition.
loves you, thinking of you.

Tara said...

I'll just say that I had a dry socket once (coincidentally, also from an asshole dentist) and I will second you on that "worst pain ever" thing.

Hope the clouds blow over soon.

Sarah said...

Hope things get better for you!

I've been taking care of my poor hubby all week. He had his tonsils removed Monday- he says it hurts like HELL!!!

Peeveme said...

You are dealing with tone of shit right now. Tons of shit. No worries about not commenting. I do believe your plate is full.

In fact, you sound like your are dealing really well with everything.

Julie said...

Nancy, I'm so sorry for all the crap you're having to deal with. I'm sure it seems like it's never going to end. I know it will eventually, I just hope it ends soon.

As far as you not posting or commenting right now: don't worry about it. You have enough to deal with right now. You don't have to feel pressure to be there for all of us.

(((HUGS))) I hope things get better.

Kristin said...

Damn Nancy...that is too much shit for any one person to deal with. I wish I was close enough to help out or at least to come gt drunk with you.

Anonymous said...

Nancy, you are AMAZING! I'm finally back after the week from hell. You were so great to be my clicker while I was at the hospital and by the sounds of things you had a pretty full plate yourself!
I'm beyond sorry about your tooth and well, everything else. Sending you big hugs and lots of expletives for the pain xxxx

Coco said...

It's gonna get better... it has to right?

Poltzie said...

Glad the comments make you feel better! Thinking of you!

Lisa said...

Glad you had a good time at the show. I think it's cute when our DH's do something that makes us happy even if they don't like it.

I am so happy that you got the crap dentist's license revoked. Even if it was only for a year. But assholes are assholes and I am sure it will get revoked again before his career is over.

I truly hope you start to feel better soon. I am sure no one wants you to feel guilty for not commenting on their blogs. Everyone completely understands and just wants you to feel better. You are one tough chick, Nancy, and if anyone can turn this crap around it's you!

mommybird said...

I feel for you on the tooth thing. I'm missing a tooth because of an incompetent dentist as well, it's a long story, but it totally sucks.

I'm sure things are going to turn around for you soon, maybe just one thing at a time, but it has to get better. In the meantime, we'll all be here.

Jen said...

It sucks right now but you'll pull through this and be better for it. That's just the type of gal you are.

areyoukiddingme said...

If I were you, I would have crawled into a hole a couple months ago, and I still wouldn't have emerged. You're doing great considering the mountain of shit that you have to scale. I hope you're over the top and sliding down the other side soon.

Photogrl said...

Geez, you can't catch a break.

Sorry about the tooth...tooth pain is awful!

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

Beautiful Mess said...

Support is what I've experienced through this community and I'm so grateful for it! I sometimes feel as if i don't deserve it, but I know that's a silly thought. We all support each other and NEVER expect anything in return. That's just how awesome these people are! Hang in there, sweetie. We've all got ya!

Wordgirl said...

Oh Nancy,

I love you -- simple as that.



and as a fellow tooth -sufferer -- ugh! The WORST...I hope that you're pain-free soon...



Sarah R said...

Many hugs to you--I've been there before where everything just sucks and you don't have a whole lot of energy because your exhaustion fuels depression and just makes you want to sleep all the time. I hope you feel more like yourself soon! Bring on the good news, damnit!

Shinejil said...

Oi, implants. I had one done. Mine was very complicated (and alas, in front) so it took forever. And yes, it was seriously expensive. But that said, it looks and feels amazing and it's so nice not to be in pain and discomfort (I had a recurrent infection that dragged on for years and years because I had no money to deal with it and lived in a dentistry-challenged foreign country to boot).

It's hard to blog and comment when you're blue and listless. It's hard to be unemployed. And it's hard to have fifteen gazillion things go wrong at once. Death by a thousand cuts...

I hope things turn around soon, that the shit storm passes promptly so that the pile can shrink. Sending huge hugs your way...

Becky said...

Wait a minute... I do hope you went to a different dentist after he lost his license for a year! One that wasn't such a complete toolbag!

Jendeis said...

Sending hugs and cups of tea and scones. This is absolute BS. I am telling nature that you are now hands-off. No more effing with you. Or I will kick some serious ass.

jenn said...

I'm so sorry that you have yet another thing to add to the already too high pile o' crappy medical shit to deal with! I wish I could do something to make it better for you- even if it was just to take you out for coffee or give you a hug. (a real one because even though this is the internet version of hugging- it's never quite as good as a honest to goodness squeeze!)

I'm so glad that you did something about that crap dentist & I am very very glad you had such a nice anniversary!

xoxo babe. hang in there & just get through each day as it comes- don't worry about anything else.

Kaci said...

(((hugs))) Nancy. I'm sorry life continues to shit on you. Hang in there, the shitclouds will have to move on soon, right?


one word...WOW...things have to get better. they can't get much worse! hugs!

KimboSue said...

Holy shitballs Batman! I think we need to coin a new word like "Luckcy" prounounced LUCK-SEE like Luck and Nancy put together. Because OHMYGAWD at the shit that has happened to you in 2009! Just reading that crap about the Tooth ABC's had my mouth cramping up. SHEESH.

serenity said...


My teeth are aching from the description of what's going on there. OW.


MrsSpock said...

Wow, that dentist was an ass. I'm sorry to hear the price of implants hasn't come down. An old boyfriend had them done about 8 years ago, and they were 4K per tooth. I was born without a permanent tooth near the front bottom row, and the poor primary tooth has been filled three times. One more time and it has to go. I'd rather have an implant, but the price...

Jenn BG said...

Oh Nancy! I don't post comments a lot, but I do follow things when I can. The tooth thing SUCKS. We have been through it with DH and spent a fortune (on cc's no less). I really hope you found a good sergeon. DH's implant is in front and we are just "waiting" for the two teeth next to it to go downhill. Like we don't have enough going on.

I am hoping to have this baby anyday now. YAY. He's making ME very snarky!!!

Robin said...

Holy crap, Nancy. That tooth stuff is insane. And here I am complaining about my fillings, etc. Your old dentist sounds like a total asswipe. I hope the new ones are better and that you're back to having the mouth you want soon. Gah

And I'm still holding my breath about the Hep C thing. Unbelieveable.

Rebeccah said...

Wow, I just had to offer sympathy ... this post practically gave me a panic attack! You have waaaaaay too much painful craziness happening in your life right now. Here's hoping things mellow out soon!

chicklet said...

We don't need you to comment, just to show fun word verifications once in awhile proving you're alive:-)

Kirsten said...

First off, happy belated anniversary. Have to remember the good things first!!!
Second...totally feeling your pain on the tooth issue. I am getting my first dental implant next month to the tune of 4 grand as well. Yipee Skippy. Oh, and they found that my sinus cavity is just a hair too close to where they are drilling so they can't even do the whole procedure at once. I have to go in and have this fake tooth put in the first time, then go back in three months later to have it all finished. They haven't told me how much extra that will cost. My teeth SUCK so I'm sure this will be the first of many implants for me.
Glad you are having some fun though - music can do wonders for the soul.
Take care : )

JamieD said...

You have been through more in the last year than I can even wrap my mind around.

I don't know what level of hell you're trapped in right now, but I know you will make your way out.

Another cheesy awful cliche - if life gives you limes, make a margarita. Or stick it in a tecate. Your choice.