I just went into the office to turn in my laptop and to clean out my pc's file. As I started deleting my email files, from, oh, 1997, I started sobbing.
A few friends of mine, d & l, sat with me even though I was a mess. Good boys.
When it was time to leave, I made no grand exit. No big email saying goodbye. When people wanted to walk out with me, I politely refused, asking if I could just walk out alone. They complied.
I told my coworker, e, that I was to turn everything into him and I had, but "i'm not giving you my badge. you can fight me for it.". He gave no argument.
I just made it home and promptly threw up.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
35 comments:
Sending you some big squishy hugs from a fellow braces buncher!
(((HUGS))), Nancy. I'm so sorry.
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry! That sucks! thinking of you and sending you TONS of love!
*HUGS*
Man, that's hard. I'm sorry - they shouldn't have made you come back in weeks later to do that. I hope the next opportunity shows up soon.
Hey, I have to do that in a few weeks. I am so sorry, I know you liked your job and were happy to be going back. I hope you find something you LOVE soon.
I'm so sorry Nanc! That is just so wrong what these friggin corporations do to their best people! I know you will find something better. You are one smart cookie and I know you will excel!
I am so sorry, Nancy! That had to be so hard; I can't even imagine. (((((((Hugs))))))))
Pouring a glass of wine to toast bigger and better things for you. You deserve it.
xo
Oh Nancy...I am really sorry about all of it. However I know you are not one for a pitty party...so that's it..I'm done :)
Kisses~
Damn....suuuuuucks. I'm so sorry.
Ugh, that's just gotta be so f*g weird. And hard. And weird after all that time. Maybe I could come down and we could go to Home Depot? That's where they fix everything you know? ;-)
That had to suck worse than anything has ever sucked in the history of suckdom.
BIG bear hugs to you!
I can't even imagine!!!
I'm so sorry, Nancy. That totally sucks. ((Hugs))
I'm so sorry. Good for you for walking out with dignity. Now it's on to finding a better, kinder place to work.
((((hugs)))) Hope you find something that works out beautifully for you and your family! thinking of you!
Hugs.
Oh hon! I'm so sorry!!! I was able to go in on my own on a saturday - much easier with no one around. Of course I worked for an uber small company & could just leave the key & stuff on the receptionists desk.
What a hard thing to go through. I'm gla dyou had some support there, but I totally understand wanting to walk out alone.
I'll give you a text later on today to see if you want to chat- it's been a while & I miss you!
xoxoxo
I am sure it must have been so hard. At least you have the kids to help cheer you up when you got home...
Take care Nancy. You're a smart and strong women... you will find something else soon!
I'm so sorry Nancy
((((HUGS))))
I hope you find another job soon.
Ugh. I'm so sorry, Nancy. You gave so many years to that company. Hope you are doing better today!
That was rough. I'm sorry you had to go through it.
I'm thinking of you and hoping you find a new job soon.
Oh man, I can't imagine the feeling. :-(
Sorry for the shitty day...that's just not easy.
I'm so sorry. What utter BS they are putting you through.
Thinking about you...
((HUGS))
Poor nancy. Im so sorry life is throwing you these awful curveballs.
((((hugs))))
Ugh -- so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be forced out of a company after spending so many years with them. Only that it would be so hard.
HUGS . . .
Sending you big hugs! So sorry! My cousin recently went through something similar after working for the same company for 25 years. It's so hard.
((Hugs))
ICLW & a Braces Buncher
((hugs))
That's just hard. Sorry...
Oh, sweetie, shitty day :( What more can I do for you than give ya a big virtual hug !
xxxxxxxxxxxx
More Braces Bunches HUGS!
I had a catch in my throat reading about not letting them take your badge. (Good for you)
Thinking of you.
Sorry Nancy! If I was there I would totally have tried to catch your puke. That means something, right?
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