Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What the hell is today? Tuesday?

I'm losing track of days. How terrible.

Anywho, thanks to Alina and Erica who diagnosed me correctly - the lump in my knee? it's a Baker Cyst. I guess it's pretty normal and will either go away on it's own, rupture, we can have it aspirated or surgically removed. It's still the same shape as it was before, maybe even smaller now, so my idea is to leave it alone and it'll just go away. I don't notice it hurting as bad as it was before. So we wait.

What am I going to do with my life? Is the question which has been going round and round in my head. 0........./020111111111111111111111111111111112. (karl says "hi") I know I want to go to nursing school with all my heart, but is that the best thing for our family? Urgh. Big life decisions suck.

What about until then? I have two options - get a job or just pull unemployment. I was thinking if I get a job, it'll have to make enough to put both kids in daycare and then I'd have the issue of getting out by 3:00 to get Ella by 3:30. And, it'll look better to get grant money next year if I don't make a lot this year. Or I can get a job and lose unemployment and work out the times. I think for now I'm going to stay on unemployment and get all accepted into school in the meantime. I gotta get on the boat with that one.

I had nightmares all last night about bugs and mold. No clue where that one came from but I dreamt about it ~all~ night. Yuck.

15 comments:

Heather said...

Wishing you lots of luck! My mom went back to nursing school when I was in 4th grade. She graduated when I was in 7th. She is still a kick-ass RN. They are always in demand.

..Soo.See.. said...

Man, making decisions like this can burn me out! I decided to enroll in Nursing School and then I got pg w/ the boys, which meant, I didn't know when I'd deliver and so on. So I had to back out. I have a semi-plan in my head of how and when I go. If I can find a way (make money!!) to SAH when the boys start school I can be there for PTA, fieldtrips, football, blah blah - but go to school MYSELF while they're in class! then when they don't want me around b/c I'm "old" and they want to hang w/ their friends, I'll have my degree and be able to re-join the workforce. seriously though.. i hope i can make this happen. And glad that your lump isn't anything too major!

Kate said...

changing careers, especially when it requires going back to school & spending more $, seriously sucks. even when its something you desperately want to do. i was all enrolled in my second round of grad school until i got pg with my twins, & had to leave. & then we had a HUGE surprise pg this fall, just as i was starting school again & now i don't know what to do with school. i know what i WANT, but is it really best for our family? sigh... this was really just a long-winded way of saying that i feel your pain.

& glad you knee is ok!

Ella said...

Glad the lump isn't a big deal. I seriously feel for you making this decision - it's so not easy. I'm in the middle of getting my PhD and am starting to question whether it is the right decision... mommyhood makes you look at your life so differently, huh!?

(Love the title of this post, BTW!)

Jen said...

I'm sure that in the end, you'll figure out how to make this all happen for you...you always do! There is such a demand for nurses that it is hard to go wrong heading into that field.

Jules said...

If you really want to go back to nursing school, I would go with option 2. You know how easy it is to get sucked back into a job that you don't really "love", and get pulled away from doing what you really want to do. If you nursing is your thing, you could keep going with schooling and become an NP...not bad money :) Good luck with whatever you do! I know I'm going to have to decide what I want to be when I grow up...one of these days, and I'm not looking forward to making that decision.

Kristin said...

Glad the bump isn't anything serious.

And, good luck with nursing school and all the preparation for it.

Misty Dawn said...

I'm glad the lump was ok and didn't need surgery (at least yet). I think you need a year w/out any anthesthia or surgeries.

Morgan Owens said...

It must be hard making such a tough decision..it will come to you and you will know it when it does! Does everyone tell you that If so, sorry! lol

Good to hear from you! :)

edenland said...

Diagnosed via your comment section .,.. that's pretty cool! I'm so relieved it has started to go away already. I *hate* lumps that just appear. Arseholes.

I laughed out loud at Karl saying hi.

I think you should study, if you can. I honestly believe that would be best for your family right now, especially for your family's future. You are gonna be a kickarse nurse someday.

Love you mate XOXOXO

Jen said...

Don't you hate trying to figure out your life? I really have no idea about my life either. One minute I think I have it all figured out, and the next I have no clue. Very frustrating.

I wish you all the luck, and I have a feeling you will figure it out before you know it!

Jenn BG said...

Hey...I guessed a Baker's cyst too. LOL. As for the job decision, if you ever want to email me my gmail is jbtoys@gmail.com (this is Jennifer Bragg-Gresham...in case that doesn't come through). I just went through a similar decision...hopefully starting on my PhD this fall. :)

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.

Anonymous said...

usually the best decisions are the hardest ones to make.

i wish you the best through this process.

Glennformer said...

I like the nursing thing for you--always in high demand, I think, and probably more so as all of us baby-boomers start to degenerate. Seems like most nurses can almost choose their own and flexible hours and there are lots of areas for specialization. Until school, maybe you can take some on-line nursing courses that you can do on your own schedule and let you finish traditional school sooner when it's time for that.

It's not too early to start planning for Karl too. Either he is very advanced in expressing "hi" in some exotic mathematical language or, enthusiastic or not, typing is not one of his strengths. So, I've just sent him a copy of Strengths Finder 2.0. You'll have to read it to him and, apparently, do the typing for the strengths assessment at the website. By the time he starts daycare he'll be able to be focus on the those things that will most enhance his natural abilities, leading to rewarding and successful career choices.