I'm losing track of days. How terrible.
Anywho, thanks to Alina and Erica who diagnosed me correctly - the lump in my knee? it's a Baker Cyst. I guess it's pretty normal and will either go away on it's own, rupture, we can have it aspirated or surgically removed. It's still the same shape as it was before, maybe even smaller now, so my idea is to leave it alone and it'll just go away. I don't notice it hurting as bad as it was before. So we wait.
What am I going to do with my life? Is the question which has been going round and round in my head. 0........./020111111111111111111111111111111112. (karl says "hi") I know I want to go to nursing school with all my heart, but is that the best thing for our family? Urgh. Big life decisions suck.
What about until then? I have two options - get a job or just pull unemployment. I was thinking if I get a job, it'll have to make enough to put both kids in daycare and then I'd have the issue of getting out by 3:00 to get Ella by 3:30. And, it'll look better to get grant money next year if I don't make a lot this year. Or I can get a job and lose unemployment and work out the times. I think for now I'm going to stay on unemployment and get all accepted into school in the meantime. I gotta get on the boat with that one.
I had nightmares all last night about bugs and mold. No clue where that one came from but I dreamt about it ~all~ night. Yuck.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
15 comments:
Wishing you lots of luck! My mom went back to nursing school when I was in 4th grade. She graduated when I was in 7th. She is still a kick-ass RN. They are always in demand.
Man, making decisions like this can burn me out! I decided to enroll in Nursing School and then I got pg w/ the boys, which meant, I didn't know when I'd deliver and so on. So I had to back out. I have a semi-plan in my head of how and when I go. If I can find a way (make money!!) to SAH when the boys start school I can be there for PTA, fieldtrips, football, blah blah - but go to school MYSELF while they're in class! then when they don't want me around b/c I'm "old" and they want to hang w/ their friends, I'll have my degree and be able to re-join the workforce. seriously though.. i hope i can make this happen. And glad that your lump isn't anything too major!
changing careers, especially when it requires going back to school & spending more $, seriously sucks. even when its something you desperately want to do. i was all enrolled in my second round of grad school until i got pg with my twins, & had to leave. & then we had a HUGE surprise pg this fall, just as i was starting school again & now i don't know what to do with school. i know what i WANT, but is it really best for our family? sigh... this was really just a long-winded way of saying that i feel your pain.
& glad you knee is ok!
Glad the lump isn't a big deal. I seriously feel for you making this decision - it's so not easy. I'm in the middle of getting my PhD and am starting to question whether it is the right decision... mommyhood makes you look at your life so differently, huh!?
(Love the title of this post, BTW!)
I'm sure that in the end, you'll figure out how to make this all happen for you...you always do! There is such a demand for nurses that it is hard to go wrong heading into that field.
If you really want to go back to nursing school, I would go with option 2. You know how easy it is to get sucked back into a job that you don't really "love", and get pulled away from doing what you really want to do. If you nursing is your thing, you could keep going with schooling and become an NP...not bad money :) Good luck with whatever you do! I know I'm going to have to decide what I want to be when I grow up...one of these days, and I'm not looking forward to making that decision.
Glad the bump isn't anything serious.
And, good luck with nursing school and all the preparation for it.
I'm glad the lump was ok and didn't need surgery (at least yet). I think you need a year w/out any anthesthia or surgeries.
It must be hard making such a tough decision..it will come to you and you will know it when it does! Does everyone tell you that If so, sorry! lol
Good to hear from you! :)
Diagnosed via your comment section .,.. that's pretty cool! I'm so relieved it has started to go away already. I *hate* lumps that just appear. Arseholes.
I laughed out loud at Karl saying hi.
I think you should study, if you can. I honestly believe that would be best for your family right now, especially for your family's future. You are gonna be a kickarse nurse someday.
Love you mate XOXOXO
Don't you hate trying to figure out your life? I really have no idea about my life either. One minute I think I have it all figured out, and the next I have no clue. Very frustrating.
I wish you all the luck, and I have a feeling you will figure it out before you know it!
Hey...I guessed a Baker's cyst too. LOL. As for the job decision, if you ever want to email me my gmail is jbtoys@gmail.com (this is Jennifer Bragg-Gresham...in case that doesn't come through). I just went through a similar decision...hopefully starting on my PhD this fall. :)
nice post. thanks.
usually the best decisions are the hardest ones to make.
i wish you the best through this process.
I like the nursing thing for you--always in high demand, I think, and probably more so as all of us baby-boomers start to degenerate. Seems like most nurses can almost choose their own and flexible hours and there are lots of areas for specialization. Until school, maybe you can take some on-line nursing courses that you can do on your own schedule and let you finish traditional school sooner when it's time for that.
It's not too early to start planning for Karl too. Either he is very advanced in expressing "hi" in some exotic mathematical language or, enthusiastic or not, typing is not one of his strengths. So, I've just sent him a copy of Strengths Finder 2.0. You'll have to read it to him and, apparently, do the typing for the strengths assessment at the website. By the time he starts daycare he'll be able to be focus on the those things that will most enhance his natural abilities, leading to rewarding and successful career choices.
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