7dpIUI

Let the obsessions begin!!!

For the first week of the 2ww, I obviously can't obsess over anything. And I'm surprised over the people who do obsess about it. What I'm more surprised is when people pay attention to the obsessing. It's one thing to keep track of your "symptoms" from 1-6dpo/dpIUI, but to publish them?

This is why I cannot go to that crazy website twoweekwait.com. I'll admit that I love their hpt gallery and I have gone there quite often. But those are concrete things to look at. HPTs. Hard evidence. The rest of the site? For me, not one word is credible. Seriously - they devote an entire section to women listing out their "symptoms from 0-6dpo". Like I said, it's one thing to think of them yourself, it's another thing to publish them - and it's quite another thing for a website listing them out like they are possibilities. If ~I~ was the owner of the website, I wouldn't list a damn thing about 0-6dpo because, well, it's simply impossible for your body to know it if you were pregnant!

One of my pet peeves I guess. Those women who say "oh, I knew I was pregnant at conception". Oh shut up. You did not. It is physiologically impossible for your body to "know" it's pregnant until implantation. A non-conceived egg and a conceived egg both have to float it's way through the fallopian tubes before it has a chance to implant. And a conceived egg, while maybe bigger by micrometers, isn't big enough for a tube to notice the difference. Until implantation, when your body goes "oh! there's an egg here, let's start making hCG" it's I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E. to know.

On the same subject, has anyone ever heard of a coincidence? Just because someone says "my left nipple tingled for an hour at 3dpo" and they ended up pregnant, does not mean nipple tingling at 3dpo means jack shit. But I can't tell you the number of times I read crap like this! It's usually from a newly pregnant girl listing out her symptoms and the things "worked to get me pregnant!". No hunny, I'm sorry, but the fact you hung yourself from the ceiling during sex is not what got you pregnant. The luck of timing got you pregnant. It wasn't because you drank a glass of tea before you had sex. It wasn't because you had a bath before sex. It wasn't because you propped your hips up. It wasn't because you relaxed. Those things are not ways to get pregnant every time. If they were, everyone in the world would try those "tricks" and there would be no such thing as "unexplained infertility". If the woman had accessible eggs and the man had good sperm, every single person in the world would get pregnant by just doing what you think got you pregnant.

Anywho, I'm at 7dpIUI. This is when it's possible for my body to start figuring out it's pregnant ~if~ anything succeeded this month. Of course, I can't pay attention to any "hcg induced" symptoms because I had 2 injections of hCG this cycle. If I was susceptible to getting sick with the teeniest amounts of hcg that is secreted in early pregnancy, the injection would of given me any of those symptoms. But I already know I don't get morning sickness until my hcg levels reach the hundreds of thousands mark - between 7 and 8 weeks pregnant. Little piddly amounts lke 10,000 IUs in a trigger shot doesn't do it, so hcg levels in the teens certainly wouldn't do it.

By the end of this week, I will know. I'll either be able to celebrate or I'll call my RE to get started on what I need to do to start IVF. It's going to be quite a week. I wish I could just be positive. I know the outcome is out of my control and I know there is a chance this could work. But I also know it's a very small chance and I'm usually not that lucky.

No, it's not about you.

Whenever I have a big whine-fest like I did earlier, I inevitably get the "Is this about me?" comment. And I can already tell evey single person who reads my blog - *No. It's not about you.

I would never have a big whine blog of this type about someone who reads this - that would be a horrible way to tell such a person about my feelings. Ack - I've sucked before, but that would be a new level of suckage.

* At least I don't think it's about "you". If you are a lurker and have never posted before and I have no idea you read this and you fit into my rant exactly, it is probably about "you". ~wink~ But had I known "you" would read this, I wouldn't of posted it.

3 a day

keeps the boredom away!

Yup, my 3rd blog in one day! Wow!!! (heh. too bad these are not the most exciting things in the world. Although personally, I do believe my family's pictures to be important since I have a personal stake in them! Oh, and my nasty foot picture was pretty up there on the disgusting chart!)

I just have some random comments to make. Much of it is explanation of myself in regards to how I do things. Do I ~need~ to explain? Nope. But I'm going to spend some time doing it, so maybe I can counteract some of the extra reading I am forced to do.

I think I'm done publishing a certain anon's comments for now. I mention the whole "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, ~especially~ anonymously" thing and I get back a whole "you wouldn't say anything to me anyway, since I'm just a name to you" in return.

Oy vey.

#1. When I get a comment from ANYONE, I read through them and do appreciate them (well, the non-rude ones).

1A. If there is a link to the commenter's blog - I ~always~ go there and read. I usually put them in my 'favorites' list too, so I can continue to read. I don't always comment on their blog right away though. I would like to, but if they hadn't posted in over a week or if I don't really understand what is happening in their world at the moment or it's inappropriate for me to chime in (ie: it's a blog talking about how hard it is to see people with children, I'm not really the person to be comforting them, even though my heart feels for them). See, I don't comment JUST to comment. I like to say things when I really mean it. Even if it's a quick reply from me, I ~mean~ it. So maybe I don't comment immediately, but I will.

1B. If there is a question asked, I'll try to answer in a comment. If there is something that the reader misunderstood, I try to explain it. These are the kinds of comments I will usually answer in line right away.

1C. If I get a reply where I thought it was beyond expected, I will reply with a thanks. For instance - IFers commenting on my children. This is something that many people couldn't reply to. Not that they don't want to, but that it's hard for them. So when I see a response to something of that nature, I want to let them know how much I do appreciate it. OR if there is some extra support given to me when I'm really down and was touched by the responses, I'll give a "thanks".

1D. I usually don't reply to "normal" comments that most people give. Now, this does ~not~ mean the comments aren't appreciated - good lord no! I ~puffy heart~ comments and appreciate each and every one (except the rude ones, of course. But even then, sometimes they are funny!). But replying to every comment on every post would become too much. Not too much to do, but too much as in it would end up being insincere. See, blogs are here, at least mine is, to get support. So responding to each and every comment would be like sending a thank you note for receiving a thank you note. The aspect of it being accepted and posted is the recognition I give. And I also give back by leaving as many heart felt comments back to the community as I can. Comment here? I'm going to read your blog. Plain and simple. And eventually, if not that very moment, it will be my turn to return the favor of support.

#2. The Grammar Cop did ~not~ bother me! I explained how I understood how things like that bother some more than others. So even though I may not point things like that out, I can understand it. (I've received some comments regarding the fact I was upset about the whole thing. But I wanted to correct the assumption that I was upset over the aspect of the actual bad grammar being pointed out, which I wasn't. I was upset that it jacked me all up as part of the aftermath of thinking about the rules too much)

#3. Anonymous comments. I get some rude ones every now and again. Sometimes I think they are funny and I publish them. Sometimes they are simply too rude to give them the time of day. Long gone is time when there was an ongoing "feud" of sorts, but that has all been worked out (I hope) and put to bed. There is always the random ones out there that many have to deal with though. I don't think anyone can escape it.

#4. I'm not in Jr high. Sure, I do enjoy some stupidity in an anon war of words every now and again - which is, in itself, quite childish, I'll admit. But it's done to amuse myself. It is my blog, right? But back to Jr High. What I won't do is continue to allow the same anon comments, over and over. Give me new information if you want to continue talking with me. But once I'm bored with the same topic, said over and over and over, I'm done. Maybe it could have kept my attention in Jr High, but I certainly don't give a crap about "boohoo - you don't like me" comments anymore. Snore.

#5. I don't think there is a number five. And this has gotten to be long enough. Who reads things this long?

#6. Guess what? I didn't proof read!

Holiday Socks.

I like socks. Ah. The feeling of a new pair of thick socks is pure joy. I won't even wash those socks that come in a big bulk plastic package first. This is something to say because I always wash everything before I wear it. I even wash things I have packed away myself, like my winter wardrobe that I washed before packing. Even if they were packed away neatly inside an airtight container and stored in the closet. They must be washed again before I wear it. But not socks. There is something about new fluffy socks. Something that would be lost if washed first.

I've mentioned that wearing socks is one of the definite bonuses of me being on roller derby. The little outfits are fucking awesome, but it's the socks that does it for me. All over the knee. Many are striped. Some are solid. Some are wool, some are cotton. Some are thin, must most are of a thicker cotton. Some are fishnet (okay, so those aren't socks really). Some are argyle. Some have skulls on them. I just got a new sock shipment today. Red and white thick striped. Red and pink striped (sounds weird, but so cute). Baby blue and black striped with 3 silver stars up the outer side. Red and white with winking skulls. Black with white stars.

Ahhh. Socks.

I hate holiday socks though. And while I may roll my eyes at any of these when other people wear them, I don't think other people are stupid for liking it themselves. The eyerolling if definitely because I don't get it and I wouldn't want it for myself.

Christmas socks with little christmas trees, wreathes or mistletoe. Halloween socks with ghosts. Groundhog day socks. Valentine day socks with hearts. Hate them. Hate them all.

They are usually that really thin material - like dress socks. Or so fucking thick that you wouldn't even be able to wear your normal show size (if, for some ungodly known reason, you'd want to wear them outside). None of them I have ever owned (ie: given to me as a gift and I proceed with the obligatory wearing upon opening them) gave me that warm fuzzy soft new soft feeling. They always feel itchy to me. Or too thick. Or too loose.

I don't know. I don't see the difference in the kind of socks I do like - the kind with little skulls and crossbones on it - to the kind representing a holiday. I know it's not because of one is "cutesy" and one "punkish". I have plenty of cutesy socks, but they are not holiday themed. I honestly don't know why the holiday motif turns me off in socks. I like holidays. I even decorate my house for the major ones. But those socks. Ugh.

Don't even get me started on embroidered holiday sweaters.