Beta = 4.1

Negative. The 4.1 is "most likely" from trigger, so they wanted me to come in for beta#2 in a few days - but I'll be out of town. I have another beta next saturday (don't know why they'd want a second one since my AF would have already started).

We discussed March IVF. If I wasn't going out of town, I could have possibly started THIS MONTH, but with insurance and all that, it'd be a little iffy. So we're going to start suppression with bcp as soon as AF arrives and March 17th will mark when things start to happen. She'll give me a detailed protocol/calendar at my appointment next Saturday.

That answers that.

11dpIUI & now negative. Trigger is out showing that nothing else is in.

The tarot to go along with it:

"The Six of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in transition. I have what I need and am willing to trust the process order to move on, seek refuge or new opportunity. I'm not willing to remain where my perceptions are invalidated but being vulnerable I must rely on guidance to move in a new direction "

and the daily horoscope:

"You may not always trust your intuition, but today it's more accurate than ever and sending you messages you can't afford to miss. Pay attention, but wait for a while if you think it's important. "

10dpIUI updates (now with confession!)

My chart is beautiful. It's my first official "triphasic" chart ever. (but if you would read the link, you'll see that although promising, it also can mean absolutely dick). I've gotten close to having one before, but my temp moved up to the next level before 8dpo. It's the first time I've had FF say "Implantation Signs: Possibly Triphasic on Day 28".

My poas odyssey shows another light bfp. Remember folks, I got the hcg trigger twice this cycle. The first was 6,666 UIs day before ovulation and the second was 3,334 UIs 5 days past ovulation. Yeah, the last time I got LP support hcg shots and the last one was at 6 days past ovulation showing a bfn on 10dpo is neither here nor there. This cycle I have not been able to pee a negative yet, so nothing means anything. Except that my hpt is totally most likely trigger shot still in my system.

So that's that.

Okay, that's not that.

I remembered I had two digital tests in my sock drawer. Yes, yes, I know what I said about digitals. But I did ~not~ buy them. A girl at work gave them to me once she used the first one out of the 3 pack to determine she was pregnant on her first cycle trying. (bitter much nance?) Well, I figure "hey, since these internet cheapies suck, I'll try one that says it only detects 25-50 UIs of hcg and that will tell me". So I dig one out, pee on it (hrm, not FMU, but I still hadn't had anything to drink and I hadn't peed for almost 2 hours) and wait. Damn, those things take awhile to show up. There's no peeking before the 3 minutes up on these tests! A few minutes later and I see "pregnant". What a neat thing to see.

Then the rational part of my brain wakes back up and says "wait a minute, we have just determined there is, indeed, hcg in your system. And we have no idea if it is or if it isn't from the trigger. So why the hell did you just waste another test? It's not like the digitals only pick up natural hcg and not trigger!" So yes, I'm a confessed moron. But, it WAS, in fact, cool to see "pregnant" on a digital test. I may have to change my mind on those (but only after confirmation so "pregnant" actually means "pregnant".

And, if you've been a reader since last October, you'll remember the trigger of October '07. And I see myself going there again. So I'm going to just accept, right now, that I can't figure this out and I must wait. No more peeing with tell me anything. At least for today. ~wink~

oh yes, my 9dpIUI poas update.

Still a bfp from trigger. I was hoping to get a nice BFN today, so tomorrow's 10dpIUI would be a "real" poas day, but I won't have anything to compare to.

I have been poas since a few days after last trigger and they all have been getting progressively lighter. Today, per my 1,000IUs of Hcg/day being processed, I could have as much as 500UIs. But it was still really light. Actually, it's just as light as it was yesterday. I don't see much change between yesterday and todays. These internet cheapies sure don't give a lot of information.

All I can do now is poas again tomorrow and hope to see a darker line that today. But at 10dpo, the line would be really light anyway, so even ~if~ there was any hCG to detect, without a negative reference, it's not going to mean much.

poop.

As I start to obsess...

I had a nice temp jump today on my chart. Now, I know that post-o temps really don't mean much until that elusive BFP is found. I know most temp "signs" are totally hindsight - only after a bfp do they mean anything. I've had plenty of great charts with bfns at the end. But, I do notice things that miss hope have pointed out to me.

Great. I have a nice temp jump at 8dpo. Mind you, after a nice temp dip yesterday at 7dpo. ~If~ I ended up with a bfp, I would be able to point out "implantation dip! Triphasic pattern! (if it continues)". I know charts still show these patterns with nothing to show at the end. And I also know pregnancy charts don't need to show these types of patterns. But, like I said, miss hope is holding me by the hand and pointing these things out.

After glaring at my chart for awhile, I go check my morning email. I check my daily tarot first.

"The Empress card affirms that my alter ego today is a Domestic Diva, whose superpower is to conceive. I shall indulge the pleasure of a delicious obsession with room to enhance my standard."

You've got to be kidding me.

Then, I read my only other daily horoscope email, my general outlook for the day.

"You'll be dealing with your share of nervous energy. It's exhausting, sure, and you've just about had it. But if you can keep your eye on the ball for a few more weeks, you'll have everything you were after."

Heh.

7dpIUI

Let the obsessions begin!!!

For the first week of the 2ww, I obviously can't obsess over anything. And I'm surprised over the people who do obsess about it. What I'm more surprised is when people pay attention to the obsessing. It's one thing to keep track of your "symptoms" from 1-6dpo/dpIUI, but to publish them?

This is why I cannot go to that crazy website twoweekwait.com. I'll admit that I love their hpt gallery and I have gone there quite often. But those are concrete things to look at. HPTs. Hard evidence. The rest of the site? For me, not one word is credible. Seriously - they devote an entire section to women listing out their "symptoms from 0-6dpo". Like I said, it's one thing to think of them yourself, it's another thing to publish them - and it's quite another thing for a website listing them out like they are possibilities. If ~I~ was the owner of the website, I wouldn't list a damn thing about 0-6dpo because, well, it's simply impossible for your body to know it if you were pregnant!

One of my pet peeves I guess. Those women who say "oh, I knew I was pregnant at conception". Oh shut up. You did not. It is physiologically impossible for your body to "know" it's pregnant until implantation. A non-conceived egg and a conceived egg both have to float it's way through the fallopian tubes before it has a chance to implant. And a conceived egg, while maybe bigger by micrometers, isn't big enough for a tube to notice the difference. Until implantation, when your body goes "oh! there's an egg here, let's start making hCG" it's I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E. to know.

On the same subject, has anyone ever heard of a coincidence? Just because someone says "my left nipple tingled for an hour at 3dpo" and they ended up pregnant, does not mean nipple tingling at 3dpo means jack shit. But I can't tell you the number of times I read crap like this! It's usually from a newly pregnant girl listing out her symptoms and the things "worked to get me pregnant!". No hunny, I'm sorry, but the fact you hung yourself from the ceiling during sex is not what got you pregnant. The luck of timing got you pregnant. It wasn't because you drank a glass of tea before you had sex. It wasn't because you had a bath before sex. It wasn't because you propped your hips up. It wasn't because you relaxed. Those things are not ways to get pregnant every time. If they were, everyone in the world would try those "tricks" and there would be no such thing as "unexplained infertility". If the woman had accessible eggs and the man had good sperm, every single person in the world would get pregnant by just doing what you think got you pregnant.

Anywho, I'm at 7dpIUI. This is when it's possible for my body to start figuring out it's pregnant ~if~ anything succeeded this month. Of course, I can't pay attention to any "hcg induced" symptoms because I had 2 injections of hCG this cycle. If I was susceptible to getting sick with the teeniest amounts of hcg that is secreted in early pregnancy, the injection would of given me any of those symptoms. But I already know I don't get morning sickness until my hcg levels reach the hundreds of thousands mark - between 7 and 8 weeks pregnant. Little piddly amounts lke 10,000 IUs in a trigger shot doesn't do it, so hcg levels in the teens certainly wouldn't do it.

By the end of this week, I will know. I'll either be able to celebrate or I'll call my RE to get started on what I need to do to start IVF. It's going to be quite a week. I wish I could just be positive. I know the outcome is out of my control and I know there is a chance this could work. But I also know it's a very small chance and I'm usually not that lucky.

5dpIUI 'trigger' injection plus POAS party plans.

I got my 2nd and last hCG injection today. And my hubby did the sticking! I knew he'd have to do it this time, but to make it easier on him (he's terrified of needles), I didn't say a word. As he was ready to leave this morning, coat on and everything, he came up for a goodbye kiss. That's when I turned around and thrust a filled syringe at him and asked him if he wants me to circle the place he needs to stick me. He looked like he even got pissed for a moment and I asked him "please don't at angry with me, I don't like this either" and he chilled out. I turned around, stick!, and it was over. Easy as can be. He looked all empowered when we were done.

For those of you asking "why the 2nd hCG injection?", let me explain. My RE noticed I have a short LP. It's not crazy short, but lingers around 12 days. After the second monitored cycle (This is my 3rd IUI, but my 4th time getting hCG triggers due to monitoring), he noticed my 12 day LP trend, so he talked to me about changing my protocol in that I'll take both progesterone and hcg support throughout my LP. All it will do is help the lining in the LP and will mess with my need to POAS looking for lines.

My last hCG triggered cycle's hcg protocol: reconstitute with 4ccs, trigger w/ 2ccs and 1cc each on 4dpo and 6dpo. This time: reconstitute with 3ccs, trigger w/ 2ccs and 1cc 5dpIUI.

We'll see how it goes this time. Last time, it really screwed with my peeing on a stick. At 8dpo, I was checking on trigger and got a light bfp. I assumed incorrectly that it would be gone by the next day, so when I saw a slightly stronger bfp the next day, I thought it actually worked. Don't ask me why I thought that - I was simply obsessed. At 9dpo, I know that is too early, but it's been known to happen. Even with the trigger, I convinced myself it was it. It got darker, for goodness' sake! But, the next day it was negative again, so there you go. At least I know that at 10dpo, with all my trigger injection cycles, the hcg was not detected anymore.

Anywho, being the mathlete that I am, I did some simple calculations on paper to see when or IF I'd be able to start my pee party at all the cycle.

On average, it takes 10 days for 10,000 IUs of hCG to work it's way through the system. That's 1,000 IUs/24 hours or 500 IUs/12 hours. I know it's not actually this simple and it's not on such a time schedule, but for my calculations, this will work just fine. And we know from 3 previous cycles that 10dpo showed negatives. 9dpo, not so much, but 10dpo was clear.

~ cd21, pm. 6,666 IUs injected.
~ cd22, pm. 5,666 IUs left 1 day past trigger. (insemination day)
~ cd23, pm. 4,666 IUs left 2 days past trigger. (1dpIUI)
~ cd24, pm. 3,666 IUs left 3 days past trigger. (2dpIUI)
~ cd25, pm. 2,666 IUs left 4 days past trigger. (3dpIUI)

~ cd26, am. 2,166 IUs left in system 4.5 days past trigger. I also got a bfp, so definitely still showing hCG. But it wasn't really super dark, which leads me to believe I am passing it faster than this rate, but I won't vary my rates. (4dpIUI)

today, ~ cd27, am. 1,166 IUs left in system 5.5 days past trigger. I got another bfp, lighter than yesterdays But this if these cheapies are this light with ~so much~ hcg? These cheapies must suck! Anywho, I'm still not going to vary these rates for my 'experiment'. (5dpIUI)

today, ~ cd27, am. Added another 3,334 IUs to system, making total 4,500 IUs in system, 5.5 days past initial trigger.

~ cd28, am. 3,500 IUs left 6.5 days past initial trigger. (6dpIUI)
~ cd29, am. 2,500 IUs left 7.5 days past initial trigger. (7dpIUI)
~ cd30, am. 1,500 IUs left 8.5 days past initial trigger. (8dpIUI)
~ cd31, am. 500 IUs left 9.5 days past initial trigger. (9dpIUI)
~ cd32, am. All hCG should be gone (as of last night), 10.5 days past initial trigger. (10dpIUI)

~ cd33, am. Thursday, Jan 31st, 11dpIUI - Testing party should be allowed to commence at this point and I could actually look for a bfp if I this cycle is a success.

I initially thought my beta was on 11dpIUI, but it's on 12dpIUI. So I do get to start testing next thursday, 11dpIUI, ~if~ my 10dpIUI hpt is clearly negative. Yay.

Operation Spermination. Take 3.

All done.

"Great" washed sperm count. 90% motility. Both Lefty and Righty released. RE thinks Lefty was within last 12 hours and Righty was "within minutes". Explains the little sharp pains this morning. Lining is at 8 and I am to start taking progesterone tomorrow. My past labs have shown they want me on progesterone supplements during LP, so no need for 7dpo progesterone tests anymore. Beta scheduled for Feb 1st @ 7am., which is in 12 days.

They were all so positive today. Great staff. Doc was awesome and so happy for the chance this month. And while he said everything is "perfect" conditions for a success, I know it means it's perfect conditions for a perfect ~chance~. With a higher chance due to IUI, it's more like a 25% chance, but it's better than nothing, right?

I like my eggs sunny side up.

Back from the ultrasound. Righty ~is~ an overachiever! She went from having a follie sitting at 15 to 19.25! (21.4x17.1). Lefty was still growing too, showing she was still the allstar @ 21 (22x20).

I trigger myself tonight w/ 2/3'rds of the hCG. I am to reconstitute w/ 3ccs and inject 2ccs tonight. Then, at 5dpo, another 1cc to support luteal phase.

And get this - lining was 8.4 and deemed "perfect". Holy shit. RE also said the follicles were located in the "optimal" place on my ovaries - on the outside where they'll have no trouble being sucked up into the tubes.

I can ~not~ believe that on cd20, everything is "perfect". I still know the statistics, but I'm still very hopeful for at least having a chance at this thing.

Insemination tomorrow morning at 9am!

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From this morning ...

The "peak" in all it's glory.
cd20. Seriously.






Another +opk (which was with fmu, which totally doesn't count, I know. But it was + yesterday after work too. yay.)
And now looking at picture, it doesn't look positive, but IRL, the test window ~is~ as dark as the control.

I love to POAS.

Even in an IUI cycle, I love it.

And finally, I got a positive something. It's my OPK, but still, seeing a positive line makes happy.

Looks like things are on track for a weekend ovulation, so timing couldn't be better. I usually get 2 days of +opk, so I'm likely to O Sunday. I love when the timing of the +opk and the trigger shot coincides. And since hCG reacts the same to an opk as LH, I like getting the +opk ~before~ trigger (since the hcg would automatically give me a +opk).

Tomorrow morning I should see that egg on my monitor too.

So yay. Hope is back in town. (see Ryan? I still ~puffy heart~ hope).

Chugga Chugga Choo Choo! (updated)

(thanks for the inspiration Katie!)

It seems that I have a little egg that could. Lefty is sitting at 17mm this morning and Righty is still behind at 15mm.

"Not quite ready for trigger, we'll see you tomorrow" was what I was told. Ultrasound #8 is tomorrow morning at 8:15am.

I asked all sorts of questions but my NP is great at telling me a lot of information on things I didn't actually ask. I can tell you what the beginning protocol is for older IVF patients at my clinic compared to what they give younger patients. I can tell you the older patient protocol is quite similar to an endo patient. I can tell you about some things they give for endo patients. But I can't tell you what I'll be taking. See, I asked if they do birth control pills as their "normal" protocol with IVF so I would get an idea of timing if/when I move to IVF. Instead, I got a rundown of ~all~ protocols. She was so nice, I didn't even try to narrow it down. It's too early to ask what my IVF protocol will be. I need to relax a bit. (ack. I said that phrase!).

Soooooo.....

I'm "on track" with growth. I'll trigger tomorrow or they'll have me trigger myself on Sunday. Then a Sunday or Monday insemination is most likely in store. She also said my lining was "certainly taking off" but the screen was turned and couldn't see the number and I forgot to ask.

I ~DID ASK~ if my eggs will be of lower quality since they are growing so slowly. She said ~"On the contrary. There are European studies doing slow growth protocols which they showing better egg quality as they mature slowly, rather than quickly." I smiled and said my eggs are like wine. And then I put on my pants.

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updated: I just looked at my "daily tarot" card. What a riot.

"The Seven of Pentacles card suggests that my power today lies in timing. I have earned the payoff. I don't interfere with the natural progression and development of things that are out of my hands at the moment. I am empowered by preparation and my asset is using time wisely."

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updated again: As I have said before, I get a few horoscope things everyday delivered to my email. I don't read them daily and I have them sorted so they go right into a separate folder. If I want to look, I do, if not, it gets all deleted, unread. I really like the daily tarot though. I'm not a "believer" but I do get enjoyment from them. And when they are coincidentally cool, I enjoy it even more. Anywho, I just looked at my daily general horoscope.

"Even if you've never believed in fate, you're about to become aware of its existence. Circumstances that are supposedly beyond your control will put you in touch with someone you wouldn't have met if you hadn't been diverted."

(children mentioned)

I always talk about the fact of taking 18 cycles to get my daughter, Ella. While the 18 cycles sucked (but couldn't be happier it was ~only~ 18 cycles), had I conceived before that, I wouldn't of had this amazing little person. Yes, I'd have another amazing little person who I would love just as much, but I wouldn't have ELLA. Had I not had to wait (had my time diverted), she'd of been someone I'd never of met. So this silly daily horoscope was cool.

Eggs-cellant

Whatever.

2 follies. Righty came through and there is a 15x11 and Lefty is at 19x15. Bah.

Another u/s & maybe trigger tomorrow and IUI the next day or two, depending on how they look tomorrow.

All that sobbing and suckiness all reversed w/ a single slip of the monkey wand.

Nope, hope gone now. Cycle Cancelled.

Called my nurse to talk about actual numbers. She was very sweet, but I got out of her that there will be likely no hope for Thursday's u/s.

I had some renewed hope due to them being oblong last time and now looking plumper, so I thought growth ~did~ happen. But didn't know the numbers. Well, I was wrong in my hopeful thinking.

They look at averages, so that's what matters when looking for growth.

cd13:
~ 15.4 x 9.1 = 12.25 average
~ 11.9 x 8.6 = 10.25 average

cd15:
~ 13.8 x 9.1 = 11.45 average
~ 13.1 x 9 = 11.05 average

Sooooo, things aren't looking good for cycle 16. The best we can hope for is the 10.25 from cd13 is not the 11.45 one today. But that's still not a good growth rate to have hope.

I did get the following out of her:
1) follies do ~not~ go down in size and then regrow in a few days (kinda of a "duh", but miss hope sucks)
2) follies that stop growing or grow very little are also not good.

Using deductive reasoning, I have little hope for Thursday and she agreed (being super nice and all that. So I don't fault her for telling me the truth. It's nice to hear it, you know?)

Maybe the measurements today were a little off since it was the nurse practitioner doing the measuring. I did notice how she tending to measure "inside" the lines of the follie instead of "on the line" like my RE did. So maybe the follies would have been smaller last time if she had measured or they'd of been bigger this time if my RE did the measuring. I even use this as a maybe because she said my lining was 5.4 and my RE said it was 7.4 last time. Lining doesn't get thinning mid-cycle. So maybe dealing with millimeters, it's off a little bit. Off enough to allow a little hope to seep in.

I am going to prepare for the worst. Prepare for a failed cycle. But, I'm also going to keep using my monitor and opks to look for hormonal changes until it's all confirmed on Thursday (or that I get a major surprise).

But, I may as well get used to IUI#3 being a big fat failure. And start looking towards the plan for cycle #17.

(trigs here. children mentioned. nothing more to read except this below, so click out (or comment!!) before you read further if you don't want to hear about it)
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Another quickie ... I spent 18 cycles ttc for ella. I spent 1 cycle ttc for allison. This is now cycle 16 down the drain. Shit. Which means, cycle 17 is next. But it also means cycle 36 is next. That is 36 cycles spent ttc in my lifetime (not in a row). 3 year mark. Yup, 2 of those cycles were successful, so I would never say I'm ~on~ cycle 36, but adding them all up, I'll be on my 36th cycle of major ttc (where I used at least opks. None were "let's just see what happens" cycles).

Which, pisses me off all over again. I mentioned this (on wedmd's ttc a sibling board) when I hit the 24th total cycle mark. And I got ridiculed to no end. One woman told me that I LITERALLY made her vomit. (wow.) She (and others) said how DARE I say I've been ttc for 24 months when there are women who have been ttc for 24 months ~without~ success. Other women admonished me for daring to count from my first month with giving me examples that since she started to ttc in Jan '03 for her first and she started ttc#2 in Jan '07, she couldn't say she was ttc for 4 years! Well, no fucking shit. I didn't say that. I didn't say any of those things. Everyone kept telling me I had to restart my "count" and I DID restart my count. I was on c5 of ttc#3, I didn't say I was on c24! I just said that when totalling them all up, I had spent 24 cycles, of my LIFE, ttc. Meaning I spent 24 cycles using OPKs and charting and doing all those things we do. No, they weren't all in a row. No, I've never spent 2 straight years ttc a child (yet). And I can imagine how when I get there, it'll suck more than being on c17 or c18. Just because they weren't in a row, doesn't mean they didn't happen. Let's say you got the flu 6 months last year, all for a month straight. I would be totally behind you if you said "All summed up, I spent 6 months with the flu". How is my counting my totals any fucking different?

Is what I say about my "totals" really that hard to understand? I guess I just have to keep in mind that most of the population just isn't that bright. And a scarier thought - these comments were from mothers who were trying for more children. Ack. I just think of how a copy of a copy of a copy gets less and less sharp.

cd13 update & a "holy crap" advil/aleve warning!

Slow grower I still am. 5 on left still there, but either still at 10 or have started to shrink. Lefty was a little shy today and we could only get a good measurement on 2 of them - both were about 15 on there longest side and still oblong. Which, is normal for me - I usually don't see them plump up to be circular until the end.

Plan is to have another u/s on Monday (cd15) where they should be 17-18mm, trigger on Tuesday and IUI on Wednesday. All subject to change of course.

But found out something big! I have a back issue from a birth injury w/ #2. I used to have to take narcotic pain meds on a daily basis, but with many back injections and 2 RFAs (radio frequency ablasions - where they go in and microwave the nerves to confuse them enough to get them to stop sending pain signals) I get by just fine on advil. Now, I know you can't take advil when pregnant, so I always stop in the 2ww.

When mentioning my meds today to the nurse, I told her I took advil last night and today. When the doc came in and read my chart, he was shocked at my use of advil. He told me that advil and NSAIDS (like aleve) can really screw up ovulation. It can make you annovulatory. It can make you ovulate prematurely. It can make things like growing follies but not releasing them happen. (hello? The latter is totally my issue). He told me to NOT take any advil or aleve or anything like that. To take tylenol and if I ever need anything stronger, to call him and he'll give me a narcotic (which still surprises me. I can't take advil while pregnant/ttc, but I can take a narcotic). I declined anything today and asked him if my slow growth will still be okay. He said I'm definitely still in the window of them being "good", so not to worry. Whew.

Did anyone else out there know that?

I'm a big fat liar!

Righty is ~not~ an over achiever. Not at all.

cd11 follie check didn't show much in any kind of achievements. Righty still had 5 - all at 10mms (which I mentioned they didn't do anything and he said they all grew. Last time they were all under 10. My mistake.) and Lefty had 5 also, 2 around 10mm and 3 around 13mm. So we're growing, but slowly. Oh, and my lining SUCKS at a big 4.4 - I've never had good lining.

One thing that got me thinking ... RE mentioned that I was growing, just slowly. I responded with I've been known to be a slow grower before, but they always come through. Then he asked if my insurance pays for my IVF meds. Why would he ask me that? Since I'm a slow grower, does that mean I need a crapload ~more~ meds? So he was making a note about how much my meds will cost because I'm a slow grower?

Next follie check is on Saturday. Man, I'm going to get the award for most u/s in an IUI cycle at this rate. If I grow at a rate of 1-2mm/day, let's say 1.5/day, the leader should only be 16mm by Saturday and only 19mm by Monday. Hey, I'm happy as can be with more checks. I'd rather have more checks to be on the safe side, rather than miss a huge growth period. I'm just making my guesstimates on sizes. Hrm. Should I jinx it all and try to make an end call on what I'll have? I'm going to guess that I'll have 2 definitely mature and a third that'll be left as an "iffy". At trigger, I'll have 2 over 20mm and 1 around 16-18. Heh. Shit. Is that positive thinking? I should change that then, since I've been said to be a horrible negative nelly.

Back to ultrasounds. If I have one on Monday and trigger then or the next day, I'll have one more at IUI time, making the total u/s of this cycle six. That'll beat my all time record of 5. Ahhhh, my love affair with the wand monkey....

Righty is an over achiever.

I don't know if it's because righty's tube had been blocked for so long from the scar tissue, but she sure is in the game this month. We'll have to wait until the morning's follie check, but from the twinges I feel now, I'd be mighty surprised if righty wasn't being dominant.

Again, let me get out there that I ~am~ having a talk with both sides - making sure that if they are trying to show me just how cool they are, they can do it by showing me just how great they can make ONE follicle each. I don't need a multiple follies to prove their coolness. Getting my cycle cancelled wouldn't be too cool at all. Not one bit!

Here is a bit of trivia. What is the line "No Sir, I don't like it." from? (without cheating with Mr Google!)

Well now, ~that~ is a new one.

Just got back from the RE (in a handful of new inches of snow and it being 16 degrees, but what IF patient actually skips an appointment?) and had my HSS and follie check.

Lining: Thin. Check. (thin lining is synonymous with the name "nancy")

Follies: Left: 5 under 10. Right: 5 under 10. (ack. the under 10 is no biggie, I'm usually a slow grower at cd9 and always have some outstanding ones at my next appointment. But 10? Not my usual count. I'm only going to let 20% of these babies mature (no pun intended) because any more mature, my cycle is cancelled.

Uterus: Normal. Check.

WHAT? What was that I just typed? NORMAL? Yes people, yes. I've got a NORMAL uterus. And I'm quite pleased with myself. So pleased, I had this conversation with Mr RE:

Me: Wow. That's a nice looking Uterus.
RE: Yes, I'd have to agree.
Me: No really, have you ~ever~ seen a nicer uterus?
RE: As a matter of fact, it is one of the nicest uteruses I've seen in months.
Me: Well, I can't let nature take all the credit. I have, in fact, has quite a bit of work done.
RE: Cosmetic surgery junkie?
Me: Yeah, I must admit. I'm thinking of a ute lift if a few years. But in the market for an implant right now.

I ~love~ the fact I don't have to make this shit up. Oh, and that I really like Dr Dick now. I have to come up with a better name for him.


A little fun for the day. I signed up for some daily horoscopes - things like my tarot card of the day general overview, etc. I actually forgot about it and got my first emails today.

Tarot: The Knave of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in promise.

Overview: Something new has captured your attention and riled you up -- in a good way.

Greenscope: Minimize bad emotional energy. Toss out anger, envy, doubt and hatred. Apologize if necessary, and let the other stuff go. (lol. Is this a "secret"? Does Secret Loon work at the website?

Love Tarot: The Four of Wands card suggests that you may be celebrating a commitment. The two of you are enjoying success, attention, relief or reward at the most fundamental level of your relationship.

Babyscope: You have a strong sense of what you want, so go ahead and let the other around you know, so together you can be more successful than you would have working alone.

Cosmic Calendar: Powerful and yet unusual forces are on the march - beginning with the potent New Moon. The good news - with any New Moon - is that the solar-lunar convergence suggests that golden opportunities are ripe for the picking. There is also an aura of optimism, exuberance and anticipation that success is just around the corner. (okee dokey. How cool is this one in regards to making a baby? "potent". "ripe for the picking". "optimism that success is just around the corner". All great fertile words and phrases!)

Anyone ever take Femara/Letrozole?

What was your protocol?

I'm on my third cycle taken randomly over the last 16 months. The first cycle was given to me by my OB and was ten 2.5mg pills total, taken cd3-5, twice a day. The second and third cycles are the same total amount, 10 2.5mg pills, but taken like this: 1 cd3, 2 cd4, 3 cd5 and 4 cd6. Four days of pills, ever increasing amounts.

I'm all for the current protocol. The first round wasn't monitored (down with OBs acting as REs! Although I do love my OB to death, I promise) but all I ended up with a few cysts. This can't really be counted as a result though, because of my diagnosis of LUF Syndrome (I make the follies, I get the surge, but the follies don't leggo the eggos). With the inclusion of an hCG shot, those follies let go of those eggos faster than a fat kid at breakfast grabs them out of the toaster (forgive me).

So, all I have to look at is one round, C11's IUI#2, which made 2 nice and plump amazing follies which released on cd13-14. Bottom line is I'm happy with continuing that same protocol until proven otherwise.

For me, clomid doesn't do anything special. I still get a follie on time, but usually just the one. (which, I know, is what is SUPPOSED to happen on clomid. Too many people get too greedy with clomid and think their clomid cycle failed them if they only made one egg. Ah, a pet peeve of mine.) Clomid's side effects are on the low side, but damn, it wrecks havoc on my already thin lining. I still get a hot flash or two on the femara, but nothing really to complain about too much.

Anywho, I'm getting way off my point. I'm wondering what other Femara protocols are out there. Anyone?