Oh. My. God.
My lower back is KILLING ME. Nothing is helping. I sit in a hot bath. I use ice. I'm taking more than is recommended of ibuprofen, tylenol and aleve. Combined. I had some vicodin, but I used that up after my second physical therapy appointment.
Rewind.
Let me tell you a little bit about what happened last week. As we all know, I have chronic back pain for about, oh, 4 years now. I've been through injections, rfa's, lots of medications, etc. I had a new back doc but I just didn't click with him. I felt like he was listening to MY recommendations on what to do for my back pain instead of him, oh, I don't know, doing doctor work. "what have you done before? Okay, we'll do that." Bah.
So I talked to my PCP and got a referral to their back pain guy. It took a few weeks to get in, but I met with him last Thursday. I ♥ him. Seriously. First thing was he sent me for xrays. I've done xrays and mri's before and only thing anyone says is "facet joints in [particular part of spine] shows inflammation". Okay, yeah, BUT WHY? And how can we FIX it? This new guy, who I'll call Dr Love, and I have this conversation right off the bat:
Dr Love: [looking at xray] "Have you ever been a gymnast or cheerleader?"
Me: "Yeah. I did hardcore competative gymnastics for 9 years."
Dr Love: "Does your pain stem from right here?" [pointing at one spot on my back]
Me: "YES. That is EXACTLY where it hurts"
Dr Love: I would hazzard a guess that gymnastics is what did it. And the two consecutive births aggravated it more. [pointing to xray] See these two white things touching together? Those are your facet joints. And they shouldn't be touching. We should see nice big parts of black, which would be fluid, in between those points. And see all these fuzzy white things? That's new bone growth."
Me: [excited beyond belief that he fucking DIAGNOSED ME yet suddenly aware this is not a good diagnosis] Oh no.
Dr Love: But there have been great strides in facet joint fixes, from fusing your vertabrea together to facet joint replacement, which we would only do on someone young and healthy, which you are.
So. I'm exstatic a doctor, after years of going to different ones, figured out what is wrong. And even more exstatic there are treatment options. I hope nothing gets that drastic, but I'm going to continue to see this guy through it all. He started me with physical therapy, the first diagnostic stop, which I am more than willing to comply with. He even said it probably won't help, nor will the injections that are next, but it will help him in the diagnostic process. What not helps is sometimes a better indicator of a problem than what does help.
Anywho. I've been to two sessions with PT and I'm being a good girl and doing my in home excercises. Problem is, my back HURTS. A lot. More than normal and it's a constant thing, barely getting relief for even a few moments. What can I do, right? but I have my next appointment with him on Monday, which we'll talk about the next step. I'm in pain, but I'm ~thrilled~. There may be hope for a fix yet.
Oh - I'm going to LA for my brother's wedding. I'm flying in butt ass early Friday, wedding is next day 10:30a-2p and then I'm heading to mareike's house. Mareike is a commenter on my blog and you may know her, although she doesn't blog herself. I saw she lived in LA and asked if we could meet up. Looks like I'm going to spend saturday afternoon through Sunday afternoon with her. She's even setting me up on her couch for the night! Yay! We're goingt to have a full on slumber party.
So. On Friday I'm pretty much on my own all day. Is there any bloggers out there who live in the LA area who would like to meet me for lunch?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
This "infertility test" has me all pissed off!
One of my very best friends, Laurel, told me about the First Response Fertility Test.
I had not yet heard of it when she told me about it. "Are You Able to Get Pregnant?" is plastered in huge letters on the box. "A simple test to determine your ability to get pregnant" it touts. What. The. Fuck.
The commercial oversimplifies EVERYTHING! It makes it seem that all you need to do is pee on a stick and it'll tell you if your infertile or not. Argh! Anyone who knows anything about infertility knows it's just not this simple.
Once I went to their website, I read they were very good in explaining what it's actually testing for. It's an FSH urine test. Which ~is~ a good indicator of your ovarian reserve. But it's simply NOT a test to determine if you are fertile or not. What is this going to do to women? Are they going to use this test, think they are fine and not go for any other testing, thinking "all is good"? There are just too many factors to allow one test be called a "fertility indicator".
It just pisses me off beyond belief. Infertility is FINALLY getting the respect it deserves. People are starting to learn about it. Women are finally starting to understand their bodies. And just when things are going right, shit happens that pushes infertility back about a decade. Octomom made the general public think IVF = 8 babies. And now First Response is making women think one test can tell you if you are fertile or not.
** Update - Read Laurel's (her blogging name is Bay) comment, which is the 7th comment down I think. She talks about how thyroid issues can throw this test off and adds even another layer of pissedoffness about this test!
Have any of you seen this commercial? What are your thoughts?
I had not yet heard of it when she told me about it. "Are You Able to Get Pregnant?" is plastered in huge letters on the box. "A simple test to determine your ability to get pregnant" it touts. What. The. Fuck.
The commercial oversimplifies EVERYTHING! It makes it seem that all you need to do is pee on a stick and it'll tell you if your infertile or not. Argh! Anyone who knows anything about infertility knows it's just not this simple.
Once I went to their website, I read they were very good in explaining what it's actually testing for. It's an FSH urine test. Which ~is~ a good indicator of your ovarian reserve. But it's simply NOT a test to determine if you are fertile or not. What is this going to do to women? Are they going to use this test, think they are fine and not go for any other testing, thinking "all is good"? There are just too many factors to allow one test be called a "fertility indicator".
It just pisses me off beyond belief. Infertility is FINALLY getting the respect it deserves. People are starting to learn about it. Women are finally starting to understand their bodies. And just when things are going right, shit happens that pushes infertility back about a decade. Octomom made the general public think IVF = 8 babies. And now First Response is making women think one test can tell you if you are fertile or not.
** Update - Read Laurel's (her blogging name is Bay) comment, which is the 7th comment down I think. She talks about how thyroid issues can throw this test off and adds even another layer of pissedoffness about this test!
Have any of you seen this commercial? What are your thoughts?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
My pictures from the paper
Friday, September 25, 2009
My heart is melting
I am in utter shock over the comments I have received in the post below (well, actually, on my other blog).
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. That kind of support is simply overwhelming. You actually have put me in a place where I am beyond words.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. That kind of support is simply overwhelming. You actually have put me in a place where I am beyond words.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
If you are interested in ~me~
If you are interested in ~me~ and not just to be entertained by my blog, please read this post over on my other blog. It's pretty heavy duty and I'm wary of writing something so personal, but we'll see how it goes.
p.s. I'm famous. Or will be. The paper just called to make sure he got my name spelled correctly - There is a spread of the derby team in sunday's paper and one of my pictures is going to be in it! Yay!
p.s. I'm famous. Or will be. The paper just called to make sure he got my name spelled correctly - There is a spread of the derby team in sunday's paper and one of my pictures is going to be in it! Yay!
Costumes are easy around Halloween
The costume is coming together! My performance isn't for another 6 weeks, but I needed all my props to start practicing with, so there was no better time than now, right?
So if you could, chime with what you think of the broken heart idea please!
- This is what I purchased yesterday ...
~ 2 pairs white ruffled panties. I want the one with most coverage.
~ 1 pink boa and 1 white boa.
~ White opera length gloves.
~ White over the knee socks that fold over on top with ruffles and have a bow too.
~ Black Mary Janes. (realized I had much too white) These shoes, by the way, are freaking GORGEOUS. I walked into Dillards and they were out, in all their glory. The shoe department guy told me they just put them out. They are Gianni Bini's and they are right HERE! Take a look and tell me what you think!
~ Dancer's fishnets, black, to wear under the socks. (burlesque usually have full coverage of legs and put stocking to take off on top of an underlying of fishnets.)
~ Blonde baby-doll style wig that is just covered with ringlets.
~ White tulle skirt to wear underneath the dress. I may forgo to bloomers and leave this on when I drop my dress. - Now, this is what I figure I have left to get.
~ White and/or pink corset. One that is easily removable. If not, I'll cut down the side and add in velcro or easy ties to undo.
~ White bloomers. The costume shop had these, but didn't have white yet.
And depending on how the dress/underskirt looks, I may not get this. - This is where I ask for your opinion ...
I think for my "big reveal" at the end of the song, with my back to the audience, I'll unhook and drop my corset. I'll keep my arm over my breasts and at the last moment of the song, when she sings brokenheartedly "someday you will ache like I ache" and it's over, I'm going to turn around and show off the girls. Here is my idea ... right breast I'll just wear the petals pastie that will be flesh toned. The right breast I'll have a pastie with a big stitched red felt heart on it. Do you think I should have it be a broken heart, falling in two? Would you think if you saw that it would convey a doll's broken heart? - To answer your questions...
~ Yes, it'll be in colorado springs. October 30th, which is a HUGE bummer because it's the same date as my friend's huge halloween party. But we'll go on early so I'll just be late to the party. I can't tell you how bummed I am about the timing of this!
~ Yes, anyone can come - it's an open show. I'll give details as it is nearer. (Tori, you can come to the show if you want and then come with us to the halloween party.)
~ Yes, it will be video taped.
~ No, I will not be posting it on the internet! I'm terrified doing it in front of our graduating class and the few guests who will be there already. I'm not going to put it on here for everyone to see! How embarrassing!
So if you could, chime with what you think of the broken heart idea please!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I figured out my dance ...
I listened to all of your suggestions and rude me went with something I picked myself. I'm going to dance to "Doll Parts" by Hole.
I went to an extra choreograph class tonight and he helped me come up with the beginning. I'm going to be sitting in a chair like a sleeping doll who will slowly come awake, starting with the lyrics "I am .. doll eyes" when I'll pop open my eyes. Then I'll rub my mouth with my fingers at "I am doll mouth". Next line is "doll legs" where I will cross my legs quickly and "doll arms" where I'll do this little sexy thing with my arms.
As the song progresses, I'll pick up a boa from beneath me and do some work with that. I'll slowly stand up and at "I am so real I am beyond fake", I'll unhook the side of my dress, letting it fall to the ground with the word "fake".
My outfit so far will be a wig that's all curly ringlets. Then a doll dress, think of a square dancing dress with lots of fluffiness to it. White high heeled mary janes and ruffled socks. Underneath I'll wear a corset and a pair of white ruffled panties. For the big reveal, I'll unhook my corset revealing a little white bra ~or~ white ruffled pasties. I haven't figured out how far I'll go yet.
So, what do you think??
I went to an extra choreograph class tonight and he helped me come up with the beginning. I'm going to be sitting in a chair like a sleeping doll who will slowly come awake, starting with the lyrics "I am .. doll eyes" when I'll pop open my eyes. Then I'll rub my mouth with my fingers at "I am doll mouth". Next line is "doll legs" where I will cross my legs quickly and "doll arms" where I'll do this little sexy thing with my arms.
As the song progresses, I'll pick up a boa from beneath me and do some work with that. I'll slowly stand up and at "I am so real I am beyond fake", I'll unhook the side of my dress, letting it fall to the ground with the word "fake".
My outfit so far will be a wig that's all curly ringlets. Then a doll dress, think of a square dancing dress with lots of fluffiness to it. White high heeled mary janes and ruffled socks. Underneath I'll wear a corset and a pair of white ruffled panties. For the big reveal, I'll unhook my corset revealing a little white bra ~or~ white ruffled pasties. I haven't figured out how far I'll go yet.
So, what do you think??
In an effort
In an effort to not only to move my venting and bitchy comment down one from the top AND offer something nice to someone in the bloggosphere ...
The first person to respond to this post gets something HANDMADE by me. And it's pretty damned cool too. It's the only thing I can make well and heck, I'm going to do it. It takes me a good 6 hours to make one, so it wont be tomorrow, but I WILL do it.
Yay.
The first person to respond to this post gets something HANDMADE by me. And it's pretty damned cool too. It's the only thing I can make well and heck, I'm going to do it. It takes me a good 6 hours to make one, so it wont be tomorrow, but I WILL do it.
Yay.
Forgive me, I'm pissed off.
~ I've turned off comments to this post. If you read the comments, the person who wrote it in the first place came and said it was her post and explained it. I think she was such a bigger person about it than I could ever be. So, after her explanation, I understand where she is coming from and I'm no longer upset at her post. Wow. How many of us could read a post like my "reply" post and instead of ignoring me or getting mad, she'd come back and very nicely explain where she was coming from. I think she's so awesome for doing so!)
I just read a blog of a twin mom who complained that she ~HATES~ it when moms of singletons have the audacity to complain when something is hard for them.
Look, we all have our own types of hard and for each individual person, it's hard for THEM. Remember the pain olympics? We don't play it, right?
Should I tell all the moms of triplets and quads I know to tell her that SHE has NO RIGHT to complain because she ONLY HAS TWO?
Or should I tell her that she has it easy because I had two kids 16 months apart and they were on totally different schedules and milestones and I was constantly on the go? How EASY she had it that they both needed bottles at the same time instead of one needing to be breastfed while the other one needed her beans cut up?
I read this earlier this morning (no, nothing to do with my other blog's post) and I'm still steaming mad about it.
When will the world just support people for their own hardships? Why must someone have it worse than the other? It'll NEVER happen when people are like this. Had she complained about how hard she had it, I'd of supported her. Instead, I had to unsubscribe.
Sorry, I apologize for this, but it really made me upset.
I just read a blog of a twin mom who complained that she ~HATES~ it when moms of singletons have the audacity to complain when something is hard for them.
Look, we all have our own types of hard and for each individual person, it's hard for THEM. Remember the pain olympics? We don't play it, right?
Should I tell all the moms of triplets and quads I know to tell her that SHE has NO RIGHT to complain because she ONLY HAS TWO?
Or should I tell her that she has it easy because I had two kids 16 months apart and they were on totally different schedules and milestones and I was constantly on the go? How EASY she had it that they both needed bottles at the same time instead of one needing to be breastfed while the other one needed her beans cut up?
I read this earlier this morning (no, nothing to do with my other blog's post) and I'm still steaming mad about it.
When will the world just support people for their own hardships? Why must someone have it worse than the other? It'll NEVER happen when people are like this. Had she complained about how hard she had it, I'd of supported her. Instead, I had to unsubscribe.
Sorry, I apologize for this, but it really made me upset.
Monday, September 21, 2009
It's raining, it's pouring, no, it's actually snowing.
Gotta love colorado. It's officially the last day of summer and it's snowing.
I love it.
I love it.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thanks for your suggestions!
I'm going to listen to the ones I may be interested in soon. And I picked two songs to put into the pool also -
~ 'doll parts' by Hole
~ 'stick out your tongue' by New Wet Kojak.
I'll make a decision by thursday, our next class, and I'll let you know. I appreciate all your help!
~ 'doll parts' by Hole
~ 'stick out your tongue' by New Wet Kojak.
I'll make a decision by thursday, our next class, and I'll let you know. I appreciate all your help!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
i need help!
My song I was going to dance to in burlesque (happiness is a warm gun) was done before!
Fuck!
So I need a new song idea. My burlesque name is the same as my roller derby name, MurderRita, so I need a song with a "tough", yet sexy, tone/lyrics to it.
Can anyone suggest a song?
Fuck!
So I need a new song idea. My burlesque name is the same as my roller derby name, MurderRita, so I need a song with a "tough", yet sexy, tone/lyrics to it.
Can anyone suggest a song?
A little ~too~ well done.
I had a sweet tooth last night to decided to make pop tarts.
I set the toaster and sit down on the couch waiting for it to pop. I start smelling them burn, which confused me as I set the toaster on low. I walk into the kitchen to find smoke billowing out from where the toaster sits.
As I turn the corner, I see HUGE FLAMES and I yell for Tom to come in because there is a fire. He runs in to find the toaster on fire and I was reaching for the fire extinguisher under the sink. In a flash, he unplugs the toaster (I couldn't reach it) and dumps water over it.
We immediately removed the smoldering toaster from the house and turned on our attic fan to remove the smoke. The cabinets over the toaster are hot to the touch and the dishes inside are all warm. ~whew~. I almost had a catastrophe on my hands. All over a pair of pop tarts.
Do you think they still look good enough to eat?
I set the toaster and sit down on the couch waiting for it to pop. I start smelling them burn, which confused me as I set the toaster on low. I walk into the kitchen to find smoke billowing out from where the toaster sits.
As I turn the corner, I see HUGE FLAMES and I yell for Tom to come in because there is a fire. He runs in to find the toaster on fire and I was reaching for the fire extinguisher under the sink. In a flash, he unplugs the toaster (I couldn't reach it) and dumps water over it.
We immediately removed the smoldering toaster from the house and turned on our attic fan to remove the smoke. The cabinets over the toaster are hot to the touch and the dishes inside are all warm. ~whew~. I almost had a catastrophe on my hands. All over a pair of pop tarts.
Do you think they still look good enough to eat?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Some now, more later.
I'm going to dive into my thoughts on a question asked of me from a reader in my last post, but I wanted to share a little tidbit of news i'm hyped about right now.
I invited Jenn of the blog "The Oasis" to come to Colorado to visit me. She not only said yes, but she already bought her plane ticket! I am beyond THRILLED!!! She is coming in mid November and bringing her daughter, Miss Caiden. We met a few years ago on a TTC board on webmd and we just clicked. So we are finally going to meet in person. So if any other Colorado girls want to meet up with us, let me know.
I was so nervous asking her, thinking she may not like me enough to visit, but she calmed my nerves by saying yes. Whew! Reminds me of that saying "She likes me! She really likes me!"
I invited Jenn of the blog "The Oasis" to come to Colorado to visit me. She not only said yes, but she already bought her plane ticket! I am beyond THRILLED!!! She is coming in mid November and bringing her daughter, Miss Caiden. We met a few years ago on a TTC board on webmd and we just clicked. So we are finally going to meet in person. So if any other Colorado girls want to meet up with us, let me know.
I was so nervous asking her, thinking she may not like me enough to visit, but she calmed my nerves by saying yes. Whew! Reminds me of that saying "She likes me! She really likes me!"
I've ran out of things to do.
The laundry is done. The house is clean. I've seriously run out of things to do. What in the hell does a stay-at-home-mom DO all freaking day? I'm bored to death.
I had to laugh at all the "one-up" comments I got on my last post. Sheesh, way to bring a girl down! I'm all proud of myself and 99% of you just had to rub it in that it was nothing to be excited about because you were all bigger than me. Jeez!
I have a few shelves to put together, I guess I'll do that. Tom and I share a dresser, having only 2 drawers each (plus a lingerie draw for me), I simply need more freaking space. My bras alone take up and entire drawer. So last night I went to target and bought some little stack drawer sets. I'm going to add 4 drawers and a cabinet w/ door containing to shelves. I just don't have much motivation to put the thing together. Why can't anything be sold put together anymore?
I had to laugh at all the "one-up" comments I got on my last post. Sheesh, way to bring a girl down! I'm all proud of myself and 99% of you just had to rub it in that it was nothing to be excited about because you were all bigger than me. Jeez!
I have a few shelves to put together, I guess I'll do that. Tom and I share a dresser, having only 2 drawers each (plus a lingerie draw for me), I simply need more freaking space. My bras alone take up and entire drawer. So last night I went to target and bought some little stack drawer sets. I'm going to add 4 drawers and a cabinet w/ door containing to shelves. I just don't have much motivation to put the thing together. Why can't anything be sold put together anymore?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I'm rockin it.
I got measured at victoria's secret and I wear a 34D. Fuck yeah. I'm so proud of my boobies!
Monday, September 14, 2009
25 Firsts
I stole this from our own samcy of Communiqué. I usually don't do these types of things, but this was a fun one!
"25 Firsts"
1. Who was your first prom date?
~ Jason. I wore a prom dress (duh) and he wore a tuxedo with shorts and high top vans. We doubled with our friends and her date wore the same thing. We went to prom in a Volkswagen bus which we had to push start. Yeah, we could have done the limo, but we thought we were SO punk rock.
2. Do you still talk to your first love?
~ No. I got a friend request from him on myspace within the last year and I sent him a message but he never responded. Bummer, I'd like to see how he is. Per his profile he is married and has children.
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
~ Bacardi 151. Oh. My. God. We played a drinking game and I got past the point of loaded to the point of passed out and blacked out. High alcohol content + not knowing "how" to drink = bad news. Let's just sum up the story that I woke up in the bathroom without a shirt on, grasping another shirt (not the one I had on) in my hand.
4. What was your first job?
~ The "office girl" at a Wheelchair shop.
5. What was your first car?
~ Heh. A Renault Alliance which I had for all of 3 months before the radiator went out. I had to drive with the heat blasting on high to not overheat. In summer. In Phoenix. (that's where I'm from)
6. Who was the first person to text you today?
~ I haven't gotten a text yet today. It's only 8:30am. Although I bet it will be from Danielle, since I asked her to text me.
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
~ Karl. Because he woke me up from a sound sleep at 6am.
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
~ Mrs Galoose.
9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?
~ Probably to Phoenix when I moved from Missouri when I was 4 years old.
10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?
~ Lori Reading. And no, we lost contact years and years and years ago.
11. Where was your first sleepover?
~ Lori's.
12. Who was the first person you talked to today?
~ Ella. I don't think I was talking to Karl when he woke up because when he wakes up before he should, I just try to change his diaper and feed him without engaging him so he can fall back to sleep. But this morning, Karl woke up Ella and I told her it was WAY too early for her to be up and got her back in bed.
13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?
~ Hrm. I was in a bunch of weddings of my friends - but I think the first one I was in was Maid of Honor at Dana's.
14. What was the first thing you did this morning?
~ Changed karl's diaper.
15. What was the first concert you went to?
~ INXS. Heh. I was in 8th grade I think.
16. First tattoo?
~ The "tramp stamp" when I turned 18. That was 19 years ago. I've been tattooed longer than I haven't been.
17. First piercing?
~ Beside my ears, my belly button and then my tongue. My belly is still pierced! (keeping it through 3 pregnancies was quite a feat)
18. First foreign country you went to?
~ Mexico. And still the only foreign country I've been to. I suck as a world traveler.
19. First movie you remember seeing?
~ Star Wars. I was 5 years old. I remember being terrified of Darth Vader.
20. What state did you first live in?
~ Missouri
21. Who was your first room mate?
~ Chad (my boyfriend when I was 18).
22. When was your first detention?
~ Good lord. Um, when did they first start giving detention? That's when my first one was.
23. (samcy didn't have a #23 and neither do i!)
24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?
~ Surfing.
25. Who will be the next person to post this?
~ No freaking clue, but if you do this, be sure to let me know so I can read your answers!
"25 Firsts"
1. Who was your first prom date?
~ Jason. I wore a prom dress (duh) and he wore a tuxedo with shorts and high top vans. We doubled with our friends and her date wore the same thing. We went to prom in a Volkswagen bus which we had to push start. Yeah, we could have done the limo, but we thought we were SO punk rock.
2. Do you still talk to your first love?
~ No. I got a friend request from him on myspace within the last year and I sent him a message but he never responded. Bummer, I'd like to see how he is. Per his profile he is married and has children.
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
~ Bacardi 151. Oh. My. God. We played a drinking game and I got past the point of loaded to the point of passed out and blacked out. High alcohol content + not knowing "how" to drink = bad news. Let's just sum up the story that I woke up in the bathroom without a shirt on, grasping another shirt (not the one I had on) in my hand.
4. What was your first job?
~ The "office girl" at a Wheelchair shop.
5. What was your first car?
~ Heh. A Renault Alliance which I had for all of 3 months before the radiator went out. I had to drive with the heat blasting on high to not overheat. In summer. In Phoenix. (that's where I'm from)
6. Who was the first person to text you today?
~ I haven't gotten a text yet today. It's only 8:30am. Although I bet it will be from Danielle, since I asked her to text me.
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
~ Karl. Because he woke me up from a sound sleep at 6am.
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
~ Mrs Galoose.
9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?
~ Probably to Phoenix when I moved from Missouri when I was 4 years old.
10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?
~ Lori Reading. And no, we lost contact years and years and years ago.
11. Where was your first sleepover?
~ Lori's.
12. Who was the first person you talked to today?
~ Ella. I don't think I was talking to Karl when he woke up because when he wakes up before he should, I just try to change his diaper and feed him without engaging him so he can fall back to sleep. But this morning, Karl woke up Ella and I told her it was WAY too early for her to be up and got her back in bed.
13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?
~ Hrm. I was in a bunch of weddings of my friends - but I think the first one I was in was Maid of Honor at Dana's.
14. What was the first thing you did this morning?
~ Changed karl's diaper.
15. What was the first concert you went to?
~ INXS. Heh. I was in 8th grade I think.
16. First tattoo?
~ The "tramp stamp" when I turned 18. That was 19 years ago. I've been tattooed longer than I haven't been.
17. First piercing?
~ Beside my ears, my belly button and then my tongue. My belly is still pierced! (keeping it through 3 pregnancies was quite a feat)
18. First foreign country you went to?
~ Mexico. And still the only foreign country I've been to. I suck as a world traveler.
19. First movie you remember seeing?
~ Star Wars. I was 5 years old. I remember being terrified of Darth Vader.
20. What state did you first live in?
~ Missouri
21. Who was your first room mate?
~ Chad (my boyfriend when I was 18).
22. When was your first detention?
~ Good lord. Um, when did they first start giving detention? That's when my first one was.
23. (samcy didn't have a #23 and neither do i!)
24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?
~ Surfing.
25. Who will be the next person to post this?
~ No freaking clue, but if you do this, be sure to let me know so I can read your answers!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thou Shall Not Kill
I just killed a gnat by accident. And I feel terrible about it.
See, I don't kill anything. Okay, let me take that back, I do kill in some circumstances. Like if it's a black widow by the doorway of our house where it can hurt or even kill my children. THEN I'll kill it. But that's still last case scenario.
I figure I am not a being who can pick who lives nor dies, even if it's an insect. (although I support the death penalty. Hrm. That's something to think about.) Could you imagine being a little bug, going through all that is of life, only to be swacked to death by someone's hand who just felt you were annoying? Hell, if I got killed by the first person who felt I was annoying, I'd be dead many years ago! ~wink~
But really. I don't kill. I catch and release everything. Heh, speaking of, I don't even like to fish with live bait because I don't want to kill the worm or minnow. I killed this gnat though and I'm feeling all kinds of guilt over it. I'm sorry I ended your life little gnat!
And here you all thought I was a tough punk rock girl.
(eden - do you make fairy bread? And if so, do you use "hundreds and thousands?")
See, I don't kill anything. Okay, let me take that back, I do kill in some circumstances. Like if it's a black widow by the doorway of our house where it can hurt or even kill my children. THEN I'll kill it. But that's still last case scenario.
I figure I am not a being who can pick who lives nor dies, even if it's an insect. (although I support the death penalty. Hrm. That's something to think about.) Could you imagine being a little bug, going through all that is of life, only to be swacked to death by someone's hand who just felt you were annoying? Hell, if I got killed by the first person who felt I was annoying, I'd be dead many years ago! ~wink~
But really. I don't kill. I catch and release everything. Heh, speaking of, I don't even like to fish with live bait because I don't want to kill the worm or minnow. I killed this gnat though and I'm feeling all kinds of guilt over it. I'm sorry I ended your life little gnat!
And here you all thought I was a tough punk rock girl.
(eden - do you make fairy bread? And if so, do you use "hundreds and thousands?")
Friday, September 11, 2009
IVF in Colorado Springs? (or Albuquerque?)
I just received a gift certificate for $500 off any IVF treatment provided by RMFC. They are here in Colorado Springs and also have an office in Albuquerque, although I'm not sure if this coupon is for the NM office.
I'm not going to use it, but if anyone out there is seeking IVF from RMFC, let me know and I will be more than happy to send it out. It's valid through 02/28/2010. (I'll remove this post if anyone does take it. And if anyone does reply to this at a future date, be sure to email me at my email address in my profile so I will be sure to see it.)
I'm not going to use it, but if anyone out there is seeking IVF from RMFC, let me know and I will be more than happy to send it out. It's valid through 02/28/2010. (I'll remove this post if anyone does take it. And if anyone does reply to this at a future date, be sure to email me at my email address in my profile so I will be sure to see it.)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Video killed the radio star ...
What form of music do you listen to? Is it all digital now?
I've been listening to my records lately. I used to be a vinyl freak and scour the record stores for a new find. There's just something about the sound of vinyl that I love. And many of the artists I listen to put their albums out on vinyl. Some bands even put ~more~ on their album than their cd or digital copies.
Mmmm. Vinyl.
Anyone else?
I've been listening to my records lately. I used to be a vinyl freak and scour the record stores for a new find. There's just something about the sound of vinyl that I love. And many of the artists I listen to put their albums out on vinyl. Some bands even put ~more~ on their album than their cd or digital copies.
Mmmm. Vinyl.
Anyone else?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
guilty pleasures.
This is the post in which I will lose all credibility...
I can't get enough of "kourtney and khloe kardashian take miami".
omg. It's on in the late morning and when I see it's on, it's like a car wreck and I can NOT tear my eyes away. Then I notice it's two back to back episodes and I said to myself "damn it, now I have to watch this for ANOTHER 30 minutes!" (like I have no choice in the matter.)
And I don't.
I don't understand why I am like this. WHY on earth do I watch? It's like television crack. I smoked one pipe hit and I'm hooked. I want to get clean, but that next fix feels SO good.
Does David Hasslehoff actually take himself seriously?
That seemed random, but it's not - it's playing on the tv next to me. No idea why it's on, no one is watching it. (except me apparently)
I figured out my song I'm going to dance burlesque to. I'm excited to go to the next class (we're making our shimmy belts!) and run it by the choreographer. Whom, I may add, is a super hot guy. And gay. No stereotypes there. (my friend who I'm attending this class with is a super hot lesbian. I'm so gay friendly.)
Now that I've showed you mine. Show me yours. (maybe not the best thing to type after talking about people's sexuality. But I only mean show me ~your~ guilty pleasures!!)
I can't get enough of "kourtney and khloe kardashian take miami".
omg. It's on in the late morning and when I see it's on, it's like a car wreck and I can NOT tear my eyes away. Then I notice it's two back to back episodes and I said to myself "damn it, now I have to watch this for ANOTHER 30 minutes!" (like I have no choice in the matter.)
And I don't.
I don't understand why I am like this. WHY on earth do I watch? It's like television crack. I smoked one pipe hit and I'm hooked. I want to get clean, but that next fix feels SO good.
Does David Hasslehoff actually take himself seriously?
That seemed random, but it's not - it's playing on the tv next to me. No idea why it's on, no one is watching it. (except me apparently)
I figured out my song I'm going to dance burlesque to. I'm excited to go to the next class (we're making our shimmy belts!) and run it by the choreographer. Whom, I may add, is a super hot guy. And gay. No stereotypes there. (my friend who I'm attending this class with is a super hot lesbian. I'm so gay friendly.)
Now that I've showed you mine. Show me yours. (maybe not the best thing to type after talking about people's sexuality. But I only mean show me ~your~ guilty pleasures!!)
Monday, September 7, 2009
Really? How is "KU" not irritating to everyone else?
Someone just posted about words/phrases/abbreviations uses that are annoying. For me, it's "KU". By the infertility set. Knocked Up. Really. How can the girl going through 5 IVF announce her coveted BFP by saying she got "KU'ed"? (made up scenario)
Is it just me?
Is it just me?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Burlesque!
I joined a local burlesque troupe and our workshop started last night. It takes place over the next 4 Thursday nights and I'm terrified! I am not the dancer type, but I love love love burlesque. Who knows if I can do it or not, but I'm going to try!
One thing I wasn't aware of is how close it is to stripping. Not in the taking your clothes off for money part, just the taking your clothes off part. The difference though is in burlesque, you take your clothes off in a very classy way. It's the classical strip tease, where it's more tease than strip. Apparently, burlesque dancing died with the birth of strip dancing, which is all stripping and no tease.
So. Yeah. I soon can add 'burlesque dancing' to my resume. Hrm. What Fortune 500 company wouldn't want a tattooed, pierced, burlesque dancing derby girl?
One thing I wasn't aware of is how close it is to stripping. Not in the taking your clothes off for money part, just the taking your clothes off part. The difference though is in burlesque, you take your clothes off in a very classy way. It's the classical strip tease, where it's more tease than strip. Apparently, burlesque dancing died with the birth of strip dancing, which is all stripping and no tease.
So. Yeah. I soon can add 'burlesque dancing' to my resume. Hrm. What Fortune 500 company wouldn't want a tattooed, pierced, burlesque dancing derby girl?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Questions 1-4 wrap up (and my answers)
Before I get into this, I wanted to say how very sorry I am for anyone who had such horrible things said to them. So many were just heartbreaking and hard to even read as a third party, much less these things being told to my friends. I'm so sorry any of you had to go through hearing so many of those things. And I also want to say that for those who feel guilty about the worst thing they've ever said, the pure fact you remember it means you feel bad for saying it. You took ownership and that's what it takes. Many of you already had apologized. If you haven't and you still can, why not try now?
To recap, the four questions were ...
#1 - What was the worst thing said to you?
#2 - What was the best thing said to you?
#3 - What was the worst thing you've said to someone?
#4 - What was the best thing you've said to someone?
Someone in the comments mentioned "How come we always remember the bad?" which seems to be true. 69 people answered the first question and 49 answered the second. Then 37 for #3 and 33 for #4. In this little experiment, more people were apt to answer that "worst thing ever said to me" than the best thing said to them or what they have said to another.
In working with the answers, I categorized them types of answers. Let me break them down by what the what offensive comment had the most "votes" to the least.
#1 - What was the worst thing said to you?
~ Knocking down your self esteem from any person
~ Weight comments (could have included in above, but there were so many of these, I made them their own category
~ Pregnancy loss
~ IF
~ Comments towards living babies
~ Disease
~ Religion
~ Death
~ Lying
~ Other
#2 - What was the best thing said to you?
~ Love by friend/parent/child
~ That you were pregnant
~ Self esteem builders
~ good news
~ other
#3 - What was the worst thing you've said to someone?
~ Knocking down some one's self esteem
~ Telling someone "I hate you"
~ Name calling
~ Not being understanding with someone Else's loss
~ other
#4 - What was the best thing you've said to someone?
~ Vows
~ Saying "I love you"
~ Giving compliments (self esteem)
~ Telling someone else, like significant other, you were pregnant.
Did you notice how there were patterns there?
Q#3/Q#4: In the set of questions of what YOU have said, both good and bad, the categories were quite the same - being the good opposite of the bad.
~ This tells me the things you determine as good are the exact opposite as the things you remember telling someone as bad. Which really makes sense, since that's how people work. If I thought telling someone something that hurt their self esteem was my worst thing, I would think me complimenting some one's self esteem would be the best thing.
Q#2/Q#4: Very similar. The best thing said to you is quite often the same categories as what you determined was the best thing you've said to someone. Again it makes sense, because what people put value in is going to be thought of first.
Q#1 is the black sheep. And I think it's because you remember the most vile thing said to you and since that person whom said those things are not you or the good people you hang out with, this category should be all on it's own. And rightfully so. There were some terrible things said and I wish I could give each one of you a big ole virtual hug. Although some of the answers centered around loss/death, which wouldn't count as someone being horrible, it was just horrible news.
Does anyone have anything to add to my very non scientific assessment?
To be fair, here are my answers:
#1 - What was the worst thing said to you?
~ "Have you ever thought it may be God punishing you by not giving you a baby? You are already going to ruin the two children you have and He knows you don't deserve another" (I am a good mom. This comment not only ripped open my heart about not conceiving, but it attacked my job as a mother, from someone who doesn't even know me.)
#2 - What was the best thing said to you?
~ "Will you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?" (my husband on his knee at the top of the never never land run on the summit of Breckenridge, holding out a diamond ring)
~ "8lbs 8ozs!" said as my first was born.
~ "She does not have any other soft markers for Downs syndrome" (said by periontologist after Nuchal fold was measured larger than average)
~ "The embryo is right in the uterus. It's not ectopic!" (said by my RE after FET when they were SURE it was ectopic)
~ "Why, hello there." (said by my nurse after waking up from Emergency surgery just minutes after giving birth to Karl. I honestly didn't know I'd survive the surgery. I did.)
#3 - What was the worst thing you've said to someone?
~ I was in Jr High and it was Halloween night. We were all hanging around outside watching all the kids trick-o-treat and from the back, this little girl looked like she was a robot. So I yell "hey! check out the robot!" (which was supposed to be a compliment.) Instead, a little girl in leg braces and cross bars turned to me with the saddest look in her eyes and said "I'm a princess" with the saddest tone ever. That look she gave me can still reduce me to tears today.
#4 - What was the best thing you've said to someone?
~ I do.
~ I love you.
~ Hi, I'm your new mommy. x3.
To recap, the four questions were ...
#1 - What was the worst thing said to you?
#2 - What was the best thing said to you?
#3 - What was the worst thing you've said to someone?
#4 - What was the best thing you've said to someone?
Someone in the comments mentioned "How come we always remember the bad?" which seems to be true. 69 people answered the first question and 49 answered the second. Then 37 for #3 and 33 for #4. In this little experiment, more people were apt to answer that "worst thing ever said to me" than the best thing said to them or what they have said to another.
In working with the answers, I categorized them types of answers. Let me break them down by what the what offensive comment had the most "votes" to the least.
#1 - What was the worst thing said to you?
~ Knocking down your self esteem from any person
~ Weight comments (could have included in above, but there were so many of these, I made them their own category
~ Pregnancy loss
~ IF
~ Comments towards living babies
~ Disease
~ Religion
~ Death
~ Lying
~ Other
#2 - What was the best thing said to you?
~ Love by friend/parent/child
~ That you were pregnant
~ Self esteem builders
~ good news
~ other
#3 - What was the worst thing you've said to someone?
~ Knocking down some one's self esteem
~ Telling someone "I hate you"
~ Name calling
~ Not being understanding with someone Else's loss
~ other
#4 - What was the best thing you've said to someone?
~ Vows
~ Saying "I love you"
~ Giving compliments (self esteem)
~ Telling someone else, like significant other, you were pregnant.
Did you notice how there were patterns there?
Q#3/Q#4: In the set of questions of what YOU have said, both good and bad, the categories were quite the same - being the good opposite of the bad.
~ This tells me the things you determine as good are the exact opposite as the things you remember telling someone as bad. Which really makes sense, since that's how people work. If I thought telling someone something that hurt their self esteem was my worst thing, I would think me complimenting some one's self esteem would be the best thing.
Q#2/Q#4: Very similar. The best thing said to you is quite often the same categories as what you determined was the best thing you've said to someone. Again it makes sense, because what people put value in is going to be thought of first.
Q#1 is the black sheep. And I think it's because you remember the most vile thing said to you and since that person whom said those things are not you or the good people you hang out with, this category should be all on it's own. And rightfully so. There were some terrible things said and I wish I could give each one of you a big ole virtual hug. Although some of the answers centered around loss/death, which wouldn't count as someone being horrible, it was just horrible news.
Does anyone have anything to add to my very non scientific assessment?
To be fair, here are my answers:
#1 - What was the worst thing said to you?
~ "Have you ever thought it may be God punishing you by not giving you a baby? You are already going to ruin the two children you have and He knows you don't deserve another" (I am a good mom. This comment not only ripped open my heart about not conceiving, but it attacked my job as a mother, from someone who doesn't even know me.)
#2 - What was the best thing said to you?
~ "Will you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?" (my husband on his knee at the top of the never never land run on the summit of Breckenridge, holding out a diamond ring)
~ "8lbs 8ozs!" said as my first was born.
~ "She does not have any other soft markers for Downs syndrome" (said by periontologist after Nuchal fold was measured larger than average)
~ "The embryo is right in the uterus. It's not ectopic!" (said by my RE after FET when they were SURE it was ectopic)
~ "Why, hello there." (said by my nurse after waking up from Emergency surgery just minutes after giving birth to Karl. I honestly didn't know I'd survive the surgery. I did.)
#3 - What was the worst thing you've said to someone?
~ I was in Jr High and it was Halloween night. We were all hanging around outside watching all the kids trick-o-treat and from the back, this little girl looked like she was a robot. So I yell "hey! check out the robot!" (which was supposed to be a compliment.) Instead, a little girl in leg braces and cross bars turned to me with the saddest look in her eyes and said "I'm a princess" with the saddest tone ever. That look she gave me can still reduce me to tears today.
#4 - What was the best thing you've said to someone?
~ I do.
~ I love you.
~ Hi, I'm your new mommy. x3.
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