Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The dead body in the dumpster and behind my car.

When I graduated college, I moved to where my brand spanking new job was - Central Phoenix. My apartment was awesome. I loved it. But the neighborhood? Let's just say I have a few stories. I'll tell the one very short one about the body in the dumpster and the one about the dead body behind my car.

The dead body in the dumpster

Well, um, there was a dead body in the dumpster. That pretty much wraps up the whole story. I got up to go to work and I pass by the dumpster which is 1 car space and a driveway width away from my car and well, there apparently was a dead body in there. At least the killer was nice enough to clean up after himself.

The dead body behind my car

I am ~always~ late. Not by much - maybe 5-15 minutes, but always late. It sucks. So I was running out to my car to get going to work, maybe in the <5 minutes late zone and since I was getting shit at work lately, I needed to leave.

Except when I got up to my car, there were all kinds of police standing around and a body shaped tarp laying on the pavement, behind my car. I walk up to the police. What's going on? "We've got a body, waiting for homicide" I'm told. I walk up closer as no one is telling me to stay away, and I realize its just the guy's bottom legs that are behind my back tire by seeing the outline of the guy's shoes.

Me: "Can you move the guy so I can back my car out? I gotta get to work."
Cop: "No we can't move him. Gotta wait for homicide."
Me: "How about you just lift up his legs while I back up?"
All 4 Cops: {dead pan stare}...
Me: "Okay, but some one's going to have to call my boss."

I had someone come pick me up from work who verified YES, a dead body was blocking my way to work. I wasn't considered late. :)

28 comments:

Heather said...

I love this post!!! Asking them if they can lift his legs while you move your car. Did you move there from NYC? I can see that comment. Well, life does go on and people do have to get to work.

Steph O. said...

I'm sorry but I'm LOL at the last one. I'm another "consistantly late" person & I can imagine what many would think if I used that excuse. I'm trying really hard to break the habit at this job, infractions are not fun!

I don't think I've even seen a dead body other than prepared at a funeral.

Glennformer said...

I thought you were going to tell another story about a dead body. (Yes, she has at least one more!) However, these were good ones, except for that whole tragedy thing. How much time was there between the two incidents? Coincidence? Did the cops watch you closely for a while after that?

Jenera said...

I can't imagine trying to explain to a boss that a dead body is blocking your car. Or needing an alibi! This would only happen to you.

zach05kate95 said...

Sounds like an awesome neighborhood. Do you think they have any openings in your old apartment?

jenn said...

I love it! I love how you were pissed at the inconvenience much more than appalled at the horror/tragedy! I am a reformed consistently late person- so I understand completely! Every alarm in my house is set earlier than it really is & my car is set ahead too. I am no longer late!

Robin said...

LOL! Nice neighborhood...!

areyoukiddingme said...

I hate it when people dump their bodies near my car...you can never get the smell out.

As I work in a crime lab, I am privy to many dead body stories. In about 1997-8, I went through a spate of cases in which the story always started with "A guy was walking his dog and found..." Those are not my favorite cases.

Lisa said...

That could only happen to you. Glad they accepted the "dead body behind your car" excuse!

Shannon said...

It is funny that you didn't seem too bothered by the fact that there was a dead body. Those are things that you figure will never happen to you. You seem to get more of your fair share of those "incidents". LOL

Dan, Claire, Jayda and Cash said...

hahahahaha can you lift his legs..... you crack me up! thanks for the (too) early morning laugh!

mommybird said...

LOL, those are great stories.

I lived in apartments that were just like that when I was pregnant with my second baby. We watched a gang of 45 people beat the crap out of two guys with bats, knives, and anything else that could do damage (the cops were on their way and we couldn't stop it, hence the reason we "watched". and of course it was from our front window.) the next week they burned the one guy's car outside our window.

Amanda said...

OMFG! I swear this beats your scary-guy-pills story! Hahahahaha!!!

Only you would ask for them to hold his legs up so you could leave. Hahahahahaha!!!

Kimbosue said...

WOW. That is the most elaborate excuse for being late I have ever heard!

Misty Dawn said...

Well that was some interesting stories. Where in the world did you live? I'm with Steph on this one, I've never seen a dead body in person that wasn't at the funeral home.

Misty Dawn said...

Oh btw, your blog was the first one I ran to so I could review your betas! Thanks on the congrats! We are really hoping this one sticks.

Sarah R said...

LOL, it would only happen to you because you're Nancy. :) I love your stories--keep 'em coming!

Mrslady1975 said...

I was gonna post a comment but all I can do is laugh my ass off. As for the dead guy behind your car - did anyone ask if you knew the guy?

Ella said...

OMG you have the best stories!!

Jen said...

Seriously, you have the BEST stories. And only something like this would happen to you!

B said...

Wow. So much more interesting than last nights storm blowing my neighbors fence down into my driveway.

MrsSpock said...

Holy SHIT!

When I worked mental health, we had a couple shootings. I worked on the 12th floor of of our office building. One day, I got off the elevator, and everyone was hunched down, staring out the windows. No one was standing.

There had just been a shooting in the parking lot (unrelated to my work) and a guy was laying there dead. I couldn't figure why everyone was crawling- that gun would never have reached the 12th floor and the shooter was long gone.

Another time, I missed the action because I was testifying in court. My coworker got a call from a client's husband. "I just shot Barb." "Say what?" My coworker Deb had been on her way to see this client, and decided to answer her phone. Her client's husband had shot his wife to death. Deb talked him out of shooting himself and convinced him to wait until the cops came.

Jennifer said...

I love that you asked him to pick the guys feet up. I bet that cop tells this story all the time. :)

I drove by a body yesterday on the interstate (already covered with the "white sheet"). Apparently she jumped off an overpass...suicide.

theclam said...

Oh my hat! That is crazy ;)

xxx

Beth Smith said...

That is funny...gotta love cities...dead people all over the place.

JamieD said...

WOW. That is the best "I'm going to be late" excuses ever.

I have a friend who I frequently report off to at shift change. She usually runs late and will always call me with some excuse. Once it was because a cattle truck overturned on the highway and there were cows wandering around everywhere.

I'm going to have to tell her that her story has been beat.

Birdee said...

Lol, sad for the guy but what a great excuse to be late. Best I've heard so far.

Kristin said...

OMG, what a story. Too bizarre.