Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"Not to be mean"

Don't you notice when people start off a sentance with "not to be mean" or "not to be rude" or some other phrase like that, the thing they have to say IS mean and/or rude?

Look, feel free to think what you want, but if you have to start off by saying something like that, maybe you should think twice before allowing it to come out of your mouth (or through your fingers)?

13 comments:

Jill said...

Same goes with "No offense,but.." and then when you DO take offense, the "no-offender" gets mad because "I said not to take offense!"

Kara said...

Are you referring to the comment I left you the other day? I wasn't trying to be mean. I actually thought it was funny since you had the post talking about how it annoyed you when people misspoke.

Kristin said...

That is so true. There is no quicker way to set me on edge than to start out a sentence with one of those phrases.

nancy said...

Kara - nope, I'm totally not referring to a comment you made.

Kara said...

I just made myself look like an ass then!! I actually only say it when I don't know a person very well. If I don't care if I offend you cause you're a friend, family, whatever, then I'll just tell it like it is.

Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres said...

How about: "I don't know if I should say anything but...."

People definitely don't think before they speak!!

Sarah R said...

Yes, so true!!! It's like they know they're going to offend you but they think by starting the sentence with that forgives them or something.

AK said...

Nancy, I totally agree. Lately I've been hearing this one, "Don't take this the wrong way, but...". I can't stand it! It's usually just a way for obnoxious people to get in a rude or inappropriate comment.

I am often inclined to respond, "don't take this the wrong way, but kiss my a$$!"

Hope you're belly is feeling better and you're back to normal soon! Xoxo

Kristin said...

Yes, i think this too. It's like people think if they preface something with "not to be mean" or "don't take this the wrong way," they are pretty much giving themselves a license to say whatever they feel like saying.

Jamie said...

If I'm going to say something mean about someone, I like to start off with, "Bless her heart, but . . ."

Does the request from God to bless her heart counter-act the mean thing I'm getting ready to say?

Logical Mommy said...

Shit, I never say that. If I am going to say something that isn't nice and I want to preface it, I'll say "At the risk of offending" or "This may come out sounding wrong" so that I at least own up to being a bitch.

Morgan Owens said...

A-fucking-men!

jenn said...

Oh yeah! I also do the preface of 'this will just sound wrong- but I'm saying it anyway!' I understand that what I am about to say sounds bitchy or rude & I fess up to that! I just want the receiver to know it is meant in a mean-spirited manner. But- 'not to be mean' really does mean you are about to be mean!