What is the best thing anyone has ever said to you?
This is a two part-er, so I'll speak to many of the comments left on the past post. Which, by the way, just broke my heart to read. I want to give everyone a ginormous ~hug~.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
49 comments:
again- a 2 parter:
-I love you because you are my best friend and you understand me when no one else can. (the hub of course)
-everything has checked out normally- she can go home today (when pumpkin was in the hospital at 5 days old)
~I love you~ (coming from David or the kids; I'm not sure anything could sound better)
~I'm so proud of you~ (coming from my mom and my dad, at various times in my life. There was never any doubt that they loved me, but I didn't always do things to make them proud of me.)
"Boys - I love you very much, but you need to know that your mom is my favorite person in the whole world." - by my DH
I love you Mommy. You and Daddy are my best friends.
Said by my daughter...
Also:
"I don't want you to go"
Said by my dad, as I was leaving to go away to college.
This one is easy. When my DH said 'I love you' and everytime he says it
You're the best mommy in the whole wide world!
"i love you" dh while we were dating :)
"it's a girl"
"i lub you mommy"-my daughter
"you're irreplaceable"-my friend that committed suicide last year...
"I can't imagine my life without you" --From my husband
It's funny how the bad things definitely stand out a lot more than the good...
Everytime R tells me he loves me is the best.
Close to the best is when I was still in recovery from an ovarian cyst surgery and they told me "It isn't cancerous and we were able to save your ovary."
The first time my hubby and I kissed, he said "I'm home." (Meaning that he was home in my arms.) It was absolutely the sweetest thing ever and it's bringing tears to my eyes just remembering it.
When my husband said I Love You not 24 hours after meeting IN PERSON for the first time and also when about a year ago he said "You are the most important person to me because you love me, you gave me two wonderful kids, and you stick by me."
When my husband tells me that I am a good mom. It just warms my heart. :)
Gosh, this one is hard to answer. I have to pick one?
Hmm....I'm sure it was probably the day Andrew was born, hearing that he was healthy as could be. :)
"You are a good mother"
It has to be when my husband said to me that he would always love me and be with me "No matter what". Right after I found out I would never have genetic children. Those 3 words stick with me, and I can hear him saying them to me on a daily basis. They make me feel needed, even on my darkest days.
I guess it wasn't exactly to me but it was kinda about me. After I told my mom I was pregnant and her reaction to it (previous post) she came to Colorado after Hurricane Katrina. Which was after my daughter was born (She is about to be four not three my mind is screwy today). We were at my house and I was in the kitchen. My daughter was about 2 months old, and my mom was holding her in the livingroom talking to her. And my mom said "Grandma is very sorry about what she said before you came into our lives. I was scared for my daughter and shouldn't have said it. I asked God to forgive me for it. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here." That was the best thing I ever heard.
I have two:
"I love you" (said by the hub)
and "Mama" (said by Chickster)
When I found out my tubes were blocked and cried and cried about how broken I am, my hubby said to me "You are not broken, you are perfect to me."
Your son was born this morning.
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me." - from my husband
He's here and he is healthy. - after my post IF baby was born. Until that moment when I held him, I really didn't believe it would happen.
"I'm so proud of you" (from my mother)
"Mama" (from my daughter)
Anytime my dad tells me he loves me, as he does not say it often. His actions show that he loves me, and to actually hear him say it is always an added bonus.
"You are special because you were chosen" By my mom because I'm adopted.
"I love you to infinity and beyond, then back" my hubs via text a couple weeks ago. Unprompted and made my heart sing.
Will you be my wife?
Immediately after I commented on the last post, my son said, "Excuse me? Mom? I would like to give you a hug and a kiss now."
He can't read so he didn't know what I had written, and he doesn't know much about my parents, just that we don't see them often. But his timing was perfect. And my mother was wrong.
I cherish every time my Grandmother says my name. I also cling to every time someone tells me that my Grandfather would be proud of me.
other than that nothing beats a good fart/laugh combo from W.
"She's healthy!" that was from the doctor after Nae was born. BIG sigh of relief!
*HUGS*
It was today....
"Both of your embryos survived the thaw."
Does it have to be words? The cries from both of my babies when they were born have to be the best sounds I've ever heard.
"You are the most beautiful pregnant woman I've seen." by my husband.
Hearing "I love you" from my partner and my daughter... it just never gets old. I hope to keep hearing that all my life.
Also, I want to group together all of the supportive comments I've received as a blogger. The women who banded together to support me through back-to-back losses and white-hot anger at my partner and the impending end of my TTC journey just amazed me. How can you make someone FEEL caring through a computer screen? But they/you did, and I'm so grateful.
"You are going to be such an awesome mom" -DH
and...
"There's the heartbeat!" -u/s tech pointing to the little flicker of life in our baby after 3 m/c's.
Wow. There are a lot.
"I love you" from DH
"Ma" from Allison (it's her only word)
These stand out the most..
" I can't loose you,I love you more then life, let's make this work" -My hub the day we were supposed to file for divorce
" I could never love another child, biological or not, more then I love you"-Said by my mom when I asked her if she would have loved a biological child more then me
(Murgdan's made me cry just now...SO happy...)
Here's mine:
"But I do know that when I say I love you, it comes from deep within and the reality of it will never change."
~my dad, in a letter he wrote me twelve years ago
Naturally, when my husband and kids tell me they love me, there's no better feeling than that.
However, a perfect stranger once walked up to all 6 of us (hubby and I, and the 4 kids, of course) and was commenting on our family. She said, "You know, you can tell when children are well-loved and well taken care of, and it really shows that your children all are. Children, you are lucky to have parents that care so much about you."
That meant a lot to me, from someone I didn't even know. I'll never forget it.
Steph
stephs_3_kidz
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
(My daughter crying after coming out blue with the cord wrapped around her neck twice and they had to resuscitate her.)
Everytime Hubby calls me "Mama" it warms my heart. Really, there are more things he ~does~ than says.
The one that really sticks out in my mind - "There's the heartbeat."
After so many u/s with no heartbeat . . . it really rocked my world.
There are so many but here are a few:
- Any time my DH says he loves me and tells me how great of a Mom I am and how lucky the boys are to have me
- Being told that there are not one but two babies and knowing the my grandmother had sent me the most beautiful gift.
- Having the boys call me "mama". I can only imagine how great it will feel when they first say "I love you"
- Being told by all the mothers I respect and admire that I am a good Mom.
And lastly, this morning DH told me that "we have such wonderful boys because of the great job you are doing." WOW! What a compliment!
While pregnant with #2 I was trying on dresses and my son was watching. I felt fat and bloated and he said, "Mamma you look like a princess!"
He also frequently says to me, "Mamma, I marry you." Illegal in all 50 states, sure, but sweet to me!
When I graduated HS, my dad wrote a note and put it in my diploma. It said "I am so proud of you. We couldn't love you more." To this day, it still brings tears to my eyes.
The first time Reagan said "mum" was also an unforgettably wonderful moment!
Anytime Hayden says he loves me or that "Mama you're my best friend"! Aww...my sweet lil man! SO cute!
And of course--anytime hubby compliments me! LOL!
"I love you the most" - Busy B
"You are my best friend. Always." - my DH
There are a few:
Will you marry me?-DH
I love you so much...- DH
Do you see that little dot right there? That is a healthy little embryo perfectly implanted- U/S tech at RE
Congrats Mom and Dad, you have a healthy baby girl- Doctor
Escavator- Abby's first word
Mommy I love you this much (arms spread wide) and a little more- Abby
"I did know from the very first moment I saw you" (pulls out engagement ring that had been tucked inside his glove -- we were on top of a very snowy, cold ridge in Northern MN-- dreaming about building there someday)
And anytime he says anything to me when we are solidly connecting -- goes straight to my heart.
And when W doesn't even have to say anything -- but comes up to me and hugs me -- looking for love -- knowing that even though I'm his stepmom -- I love him very very much...
Reading these was wonderful. It brought tears to my eyes.
I think the best thing anyone ever said to me, was one of my teenage daughters said, "You are the strongest women I know."
I love that idea... that they see me as strong. I only hope it rubs off on them.
Every time my daughter says "Do you have to go to work today?"
I love that she loves me so much, but it always breaks my heart to leave after she's said it.
I have some non-kid ones, but after reading all of these, I can't think of anything but how lucky I am to have 2 beautiful kids.
You all are making me cry at work.
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