Since I'm taking a break, seeing everyone finally succeed is doing a number to my heart and head. It's making me feel really anxious, instead of just relaxing since there is nothing in the world I can do about anything right now.
Man, I'm also feeling REALLY bad about the few failed cycles I've seen this month too. If I fell this weirded out about the wave of BFPs and I wasn't even ttc this month, could you imagine how it would feel to be the one who it didn't work? I want to give all of them double the attention, just to show them that their pain ~is~ important enough to focus on. That the BFPs haven't thrown their pain out the window. But if I give them more attention, well, I kinda look like a stalker.
Ahhhh. I hate taking breaks at this. I hate it. Nothing to do. Nothing to obsess about. Nothing to wait on. Just keep plugging along and hoping I get to start again in a couple of weeks. This sucks.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2007
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August
(19)
- "Are you okay with the idea of multiples?"
- My future child could be frozen right now.
- Not quite sure what to say about this
- I just spent the entire day at the hospital
- cd10 follie check.
- The Supersuckers ...
- Busy weekend.
- what an appointment!
- Hrm. IUI cycle will be cheaper this month?
- C11, cd1
- Best present ~ever~ for my birthday (children ment...
- Off to Boston
- It must be test week.
- It's the beginning of the end.
- I know I'm not too popular in the IF blogging comm...
- Ack. Spot is here.
- I must be ~really~ bored.
- I'm sweden!
- All of these BFPs have me feeling anxious
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August
(19)
4 comments:
Go get drunk and have sex in anticipation of a long 9 months of sobriety and not feeling good.
*your personal cheerleader*
first off, LMAO @ Jamie's comment! Thats one smart cheerleader you've got there!
I was gonna leave some smartass comment like "patience my dear grasshopper, all things come to those who wait", and then run for cover... I figured the distraction of a blog bashing might do us both some good.
but after Jamie's brilliance, I just don't have it in me. giggling takes the "snarkiness" right out of me, apparently
I'll trudge right along with you! Let's toast to a glimmer of hope in Sept! =)
♥
hope your BFP is fast approaching! Thanks for giving m the FYI on the new blog. I was wondering...
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