Back when I was a stupid teenager.

I was just talking to one of my bestest friends Laurel (whom, by the way, is about to start a blog of her own! She's part of the IF/Loss community and many of you may know her from her comments here or to your own blog. Well, she's thinking of starting off her internet writing skills with an interior design blog, which I am stoked to start reading! When she starts it, I'll be linking to it here, so you better check it out.) and got on the subject of how I like salt. Like I really like it. Which then reminded me of a very funny salt story. Which would be a great distraction from Mount Vesuvius currently residing on my belly.

So, like I said, I like salt. I like it so much I just eat it plain. Always have and unless something health wise happens that makes me stop eating it, I always will. If there is a container of salt anywhere by me, I usually will shake out a pile in my hand and eat it like lik-a-stik candy powder.

Back in high school, I was at my then boyfriend's house. Actually, I don't think I was even dating him at the time, I think I was dating his best friend (yeah, I'm that kind of girl. awesome.). His house was the hang out place because 1) his mom was divorced so was rarely home because she was working and 2) his room was once the garage and it was huge. It wasn't just a garage with furniture, but it was insulated and carpeted and had heat/air, everything. It was like a little apartment really, he had a fridge in the room which, as a teenager, was super cool. one area was like a living room and he had a huge half circle couch with a glass coffee table (yes, it was the 80s).

We were all hanging out there one afternoon and since there was a salt shaker within arms reach, I was indulging. I had actually sprinkled out a pile on the glass table and I was playing with it as I dipped my finger in and ate it. At one point, I had shaped it into a line form, it looking quite a lot like a line of cocaine. (what is ironic about this is this was before I even tried drugs.)

Just as I had it in a perfect line which I made perfect with a playing card, his little sister walked in. She sees me sitting there, playing card in hand, making this straight thin line of the powder like substance on the glass table in front of me. She gasps "oh my god! Is that cocaine?". I look up at her and instead of saying "no, it's salt", I say "yeah", like she's stupid to even have to ask the question. Like of course it's cocaine, what else would it be?

She is staring at me, excited to be witnessing something so hardcore (remember, we were teenagers, this would have been hardcore at the time) and me, not wanting to let her down ... Let me interrupt this story by reminding you of the title of this post. "Back when I was a stupid teenager". Obviously snorting cocaine is not cool. Nor would not doing cocaine let her down. But, alas, I was stupid. Very Very stupid.

I lean over, plug my left nostril with my finger and I inhale. I snort a line of fucking salt.

Salt and mucus membranes do not mix. Not only do they not mix, they are enemies. Serious long time enemies. Upon the salt entering my nasal passages, my entire face exploded. I honestly don't know what came first - my scream or every opening of my face instantaneously discharging liquid.

I ran to the bathroom. My face was on fire and I tried to douse it with water. I was taking in as much water up my nose as I could and was soaking my eyes. Snorting water up my nose, as horrible as that is when it happens, was heaven compared to the pain I felt. It took quite awhile before I was out of blinding agony. I stand up and look in the mirror - my eyes and nose were swollen and red. My mouth was gaped open as I tried to catch my breath. I looked awesome.

I walked back into Shawn's room and sat down. No one said anything. Seriously, it was so horrendous that no one even dared to laugh at me, which I deserved so badly. His sister left the room without a word. I bet you a thousand dollars I scared that girl straight. I am sure she never tried cocaine after witnessing that scene. In that aspect, I guess it was worth it.

The update. Now including an update!

The nurse called me back. The doctors were all stuck in surgery today so they wanted me to come down and see one of the NPs and if I needed to see a doctor, they could hook me up. I told them I didn't want to come down and I wasn't trying to get seen, but apparently I had no choice (yeah, yeah, you all would have given me no choice either!).

My husband came home immediately and drove me in. I limped my way in into the office and only had to wait a few minutes, which was cool as it was a very full waiting room. They were working me in, but knew I shouldn't be kept waiting. Thanks to them for that!

As soon as I got back, the nurses were all right there and the one who called me in was asking me the obligatory "how are you?" question. I simply pulled down the front of my pants and was met with gasps. At least they knew I wasn't just being a baby.

Tom and I waited for about 7 minutes before my favorite NP walked in. (That's not really fair to say, as the other NP is really super awesome too. This one is just outwardly affectionate.) She immediately came and gave me a hug. (See?) Before I even laid back on the table, the other NP poked her head in to see if she could see too. I guess I'm a freak show! They both confirmed it was a pretty nasty haematoma. They also confirmed what I already knew, which we knew it wasn't an infection. That was obvious from the timing - since it was so soon after surgery, way too soon for an infection to cause that much swelling.

Well, they discussed whether they should drain or not. Without any of the doctors in, it looked as if they were a little timid about it. They decided to mark it and measure it. If I see it get any bigger tonight, I'm to call. If it's bigger in the morning, I'm to come in. In the meantime, they will talk to my doctor and call me if it's necessary. They just think I'm on the line of whether to get it drained or not. It definitely could benefit from being drained, but they also said my body could very well reabsorb it with no problem. Draining it so soon after surgery could also bring complications, so I was able to go home with my instructions of what to look for.

Really. Why can't anything be easy for me?

The update of no updates.

It's gotten worse and I've called the doctor. Except my doctor is not in today so I'm waiting for call from my Doc's nurse to be transferred to one of the nurse practitioners. And I'm not doing well waiting. I'll call back if no call within another hour.

The swelling has gotten bigger and the bruising has gotten worse. The original "golf ball" can still be felt under there, very hard to the touch, but the additional swelling around the sides are very soft. It all hurts to the touch, but nothing too horrible. If I don't touch it, the pain just feels like a normal post surgical incision. I've taken two more pictures to document this issue, which I will post again via links at the bottom. Again, please don't look just for the sake of looking. I'll repeat the fact I am embarrassed over how gross it is and I'm not posting them for general public consumption. I appreciate the expected control of your curiosity. You can see the new size here and the bruising here.

Problem?

Under incision, its swollen locally, literally like huge golfball under skin. It's starting to bruise like crazy too, which I would expect. I have never seen anything like this. Normal? It's not swollen anywhere else. I've had a lot of laparoscopies which means many incisions. It's never, EVER, done anything like this. It doesn't hurt anymore than I would think, but it's super scary looking. Let me take a picture to show you. I'll update in a moment.

Warning ... this is super gross. So gross I'm not even going to display it outright. And I'm really embarrassed about it too, so please, if you can't help, please don't check it out just for the ick factor. I'm asking you to refrain from looking as a real, honest request. But if you think you can help, click here to see it.

IV in and waiting for my slot. WooHoo to my nurse who got it started in one try! My iv record is 11 sticks.

It's surgery day.

Today is surgery day. Scheduled for 4:30pm MT with a 2:30p checkin. I have to leave in a little over an hour.

The anxiety of waiting is the worst. Oh, and the not eating and drinking thing sucks too.

Doesn't Sunday Feel Like it's the END of the Week?

I never think of Sunday as the beginning of the week. In fact, there is an online calendar site I use to print out calendars for work to-do lists and they have an option to start the week off with a Monday. I wish wall calendars were like that. How can I get it changed? Who do I petition?

It's been quite a weekend. Well, for an old chick like myself. I used to be able to party all week and still function like normal. Not anymore. I went out Friday night and even got home reasonably early. I think it was something like 130am when I got in and I closed my eyes for the night at 3am. I had to get up at 7am due to my husband having to work saturday (which, by the way, is totally fucked up. He's salary and works M-F. Adding in a Saturday without any sort of compensation, even comp time, is lame.) and due to that, I had very restless sleep. When I know I have to get up early or only after a few hours, I sleep like shit. - probably due to the anxiety of knowing I was going to be super tired. And, the time I did sleep was filled with crazy nightmares. Plus, I was summoned to wake up at 330a and 630a, which was really awesome.

What the hell is my point here? I guess I'm just complaining that going out on Friday night destroyed me on Saturday. Except due to my wonderful husband, I got to take a nap at 2pm when the girls went down for a nap. My catnap ended up being a full 4 hours too. We were supposed to have an in-home date night Saturday night too, but it didn't happen. He went into the backroom to watch sports (lame. except when it's a redsox game, which is perfectly acceptable) and I stayed out on the couch watching last week's American Idol, The Office and Grey's Anatomy. Oh - which the storyline of the dying 6 year old fucking reduced me to full on sobbing. Terrible.

Today I spent sleeping until 1030a (yeah, my husband rules) and left an hour later to go to my parent's house. I assumed my husband would be sitting in his own filth when I got home, taking the 6 hours I was gone as a very deserved break, instead found the house to be immaculate and him in the process of making dinner. What a guy.

Holy shit. Ellsbury just stole home. A suicide squeeze. Niiiiice. First steal at home for a red sox player in 10 years. Okay, sorry, that play was too awesome to not mention.

Now it's Sunday night and I just have to make it through one more day until my surgery day. This pain is getting too much to deal with on a daily basis. It's definitely getting worse and before too long, I'd ~need~ to get it surgically dealt with. So I'm glad I'm opting to do this now instead of waiting until it's immediately necessary.

I'm not looking forward to derby practice tomorrow night due to this side pain. Ugh. It's going to suck. But we only have so many allowed absences and I obviously won't be able to skate the day after surgery. Hoping I even get to skate the next week. I'm going to definitely try, but who knows at this point. It's only going to be a lap, but I don't know if having my ovary and tube ~removed~ will hamper my recovery time.

I have turned into the world's most boring blogger. I'll get schnarky and opinionated this week to rile things up around here - I've noticed my numbers are going down. Bummer.

Repeat of "Scary Guy Pills"

It's one of my older stories, but still a goody.

I lived in central phoenix after college. Not quite the suburbs if you know what I mean.

One day at lunch, I ran out to the bank to put in a deposit. I had to turn left into the bank and there was a lot of traffic. I pulled in the middle lane to wait for my turn. When I pulled into the lane, I was face to face with another car who was waiting for his turn to go. I assumed (wrongly) that he was waiting to turn left also.

I don't know how it is in all states, but in Arizona, it's illegal to use the turning lane as a merging lane. You use the lane to turn left. Period. Not to to merge into it first, wait for a space, and then continue to go forward. See, I used to get a lot of tickets in my teenage years and I've been to traffic school ~a lot~.

When oncoming traffic cleared, I went to turn left. At the same time, the guy who was facing me in the turning lane, went to merge into traffic, so he almost hit me. Yeah, he was in the lane first, but since he was making an illegal maneuver, I had the right of way, so I flipped him off (as anyone in Phoenix would do) and continued on my turn into the bank.

There I was, waiting my turn in the drive through. I was up at the little tube thingy, putting in my deposit, and I notice the same car drive through a closed bank lane and park perpendicular to the exit of my lane, blocking me in. This huge black guy comes out (doesn't make any difference to the story that the guy was black. But I was a little tiny white girl, so he was that much more intimidating to me) and starts screaming at me.

The whole bank is watching.

I want to look at "cool" as possible, so I start smart mouthing the guy, even though I should of just apologized so he would cool down. While he's barraging me with curse words, I'm smiling as big as possible, nodding my head saying "uh-huh. You don't say? Really? Wow." This is infuriating him even more. But I persist.

As he basically runs out of curse words and is silent for more than a second, I look to him and say "Are you done? Cause if you are, maybe you should go home and take some more Scary Guy Pills."

No fucking clue where that came from. But I was quite happy with how it sounded. Rarely do you get a good "come back" in the moment.

At that, he stopped, cocked his head in confusion, put his left hand on the opening of my open car window and with his right hand, punched me directly in the face.

Things go black.I woke up to 1) blinding pain in my face 2) about every male customer on top of this guy, keeping him away from me and 3) the entire bank in the drive through window watching the melee. Awesome.

The guy stood up and the men stayed between me and him. He did some more cursing and got into his car and left. Police were called who gave me a lecture for getting into a confrontation with the man to begin with - scolding me over the idea "what if he had a gun?". Well, he didn't have a gun and he punched me. Can we focus on that? I'm the victim here!

The car ended up being stolen and they never found the guy. I had a wicked black eye and bruised cheekbone. And my mom was right - some day my mouth WAS going to get me into trouble.

Moral of this story? Confusing a very mean man can get you punched in the face. But it's a good story, no?


p.s. It's a big birthday day over at my other blog. (children mentioned)

Welcome ICLW kickoff!

Since it's day one, I'll do a little quickie about me. Then hopefully I will fill this week with funny stories. I haven't told "Scary Guy Pills" lately - it's a must read.


10 things about me:

1. I'm 36 years old and fucking HATE it. HATE it. Age used to never bug me because, well, it never interfered with anything. Now that I'm getting older, shit is changing on me and it's the first time I'm noticing my age. Grrrr. I hate it.

2. I curse. A lot.

3. I'm really sarcastic. This ends up with me accidentally "offending" people all the time. So here is the rule of thumb: If you are offended by something I say to you, ask yourself if I'm mad/angry/in a fight with you. If I am, I probably meant it. Since this only happens maybe 1% of the time, it'll probably end up I was simply being sarcastic. I don't like mean people and that includes me. I just come off that way at time.

4. I'm in roller derby and I fucking love it. My derby name is M.urder.R.ita and I play on the Ca.ndySn.ipers for the Pik.es P.eak Der.by D.ame.s. Want to be a derby girl and live in colorado springs? The next recruit night is at the end of summer and I can tell you all about it. Let me know.

5. I'm opinionated. My favorite topics to discuss are usually the touchy subjects. I am pretty unafraid to tell you my viewpoint and tell you my opinions, regardless of how unpopular they may be. BUT, I try ~very hard~ to keep an open mind about the other side of the topic. Just because I think one thing, I don't thing everyone should think it too. I welcome a debate or discussion. But I don't go for personal attacks. Be "pro" your side all you want, don't stoop down to dissing the other side. We all have the right to believe what we want.

6. I'm ~not~ religious. And due to that, I may offend the religious types by taking the Lord's name in vain, which, I've heard, is kinda a biggie in the rule department of some churches. I don't mean it and I promise I try to not do this. But I do occasionally. And although I'm not religious, I am spiritual. I do believe, I just don't think anyone has the ability to define it. This is why I don't comment besides even rarely reading other blog posts which are heavy in scripture or God talk. I don't mind other people are religious, it doesn't offend me, it's simply not my thing.

7. I "used to be" infertile. I am still infertile in my heart and really, my whole being, but I have been able to conceive 3 little ones. My history for each was (I will talk about the pregnancy on my other blog):
~ #1 - Conceived on C18. I had a lap done, HSG, took clomid and was about to do my first IUI when I got my bfp.
~ #2 - Conceived on C1, much to utter shock and disbelief. No way. No. Fucking. Way. I was suddenly "one of those".
~ #3 - Conceive on C19 after 3 unterine surgeries to remove scar tissue, many medicated cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 mock IUI (everything for IUI was done except we had timed intercourse instead), 1 IVF and got a late BFP on 11dp3dt with an initial beta of 15.

8. I've had a lot of surgeries. The 19th will be next thursday when the Dr removes my right ovary and fallopian tube. (It's being twisted from scar tissue.)

9. I am a total tomboy yet I have a passion for Coach handbags and expensive shoes. I have not really collected too much of the latter, maybe a few $100 pair, but I am coveting a pair for $695 right now. And it's ~so stupid~ that I am even considering it. (Also, when I discuss the amount of money I may pay for something, it is NOT to gloat about the money I spend. I shouldn't spend it - I am in debt big time. It's really to show how fucking stupid I am.)

10. When I want to watch a movie, I try to watch the last 10 minutes first to see if the ending is any good. If I think it sucks, I won't watch the movie at all.

I don't know if I'll make it through the day

without some kind of freak out. Maybe it'll be tearing my hair out, maybe it will involve sobbing, maybe I'll end up in the corner in a fetal position, laughing maniacally as I rock myself back and forth.

I blogged about it on my other blog, so you can guess what it's all about.

Here we go ...

Snow Day!

Although I can work from home, I took a snow day today. We're supposed to get 10-12" of snow in the city, so I decided to just call in (because I don't have my new project yet anyway) and snuggle in. A good day just to get the laundry done, bake and do things like that, dontcha think?

By the way - I'm starting to compile the list from my poll below - it's quite interesting so far.

The doctor called

He was kindof weird on the phone. He's the one who said surgery was my only option and if my ovary was, in fact, starting to slowly twist from the tightness of the scar tissue - he wanted to do it soon. But when he called last night, he was all "so, what exactly are you wanting me to do? Just laser off any endo/scar tissue? Remove your tube/ovary? uterus?

Um. Yeah. I didn't go to medical school. I want to ~not~ be in any pain (it's really not that bad now) so go ahead and do what you need to do.

So. He's going to remove righty. Tube and ovary. I'll be 1/2 of the woman I was. ~wink~ Surgery is May 13th - a whole month away! yay! A bit more time to chill the hell out.

Oh - he also mentioned (seriously) that while he's in there, he can go ahead and take out my appendix. Heh. I find that a really funny offer.

Surgery #18? 19? (upd 11/2011)

I have forgotten. Hell, let's add the up for fun. Now, I'm counting anything I was put under for - except oral surgery.

01. ~ (1976) fell off chair and had to get my girle parts fixed.
02. ~ (1992) tonsils out
03. ~ (January, 1999) right tib compound fracture while
        snowboarding. Awesome!
04. ~ (July, 1999) remove screws in my R knee
05. ~ (January, 2003) laproscopy for ttc - removed endo
06. ~ (June, 2004) scar tissue clean out, lateral release R knee
07. ~ (August, 2005) D&C for retained placenta after #2
08. ~ (December, 2005) scar tissue clean out, lateral release L knee
09. ~ (September, 2006) breast augmentation
10. ~ (October, 2006) cyst removed from deep within shoulder
11. ~ (July, 2007) uterine scar tissue removal #1 - lap and hysto
12. ~ (November, 2008) uterine scar tissue removal #2 - hysto
13. ~ (December, 2008) uterine scar tissue removal #3 - hysto
14. ~ (December, 2008) Foot fractured and reset with screws. Derby.
15. ~ (March 28, 2008) Egg Retrieval - and this totally counts as
        surgery!
16. ~ (January 10, 2009) Emergency D&C for retained placenta, cord
        detachment
17. ~ (February 25, 2009) Sterilization under general anesthesia.
18. ~ (March 19, 2009) Gall Bladder Removal

Holy Moly!!! 18. And I'm about to add on:
19. ~ (Soon, 2009) Lap for scar tissue or possible twisted ovary.

I've been having some lower right sided pain - a sharp pain/cramp that is NOT going away. Saw OB last week for pelvic and it was all tender in there. He suspects endo or scar tissue from the gall bladder surgery since I had so many adhesions, it may have all connected down there. Or possibly my ovary is twisted (which sounds weird to me). So, in speaking with him, he's scheduling me in and I'm just waiting for the call when he tells me when I can get in. LAME. Should be nice and easy though. I asked to have it on a Thursday so I can be back in derby on Monday. And if you'd look above, I'm really really used to how long it takes me to recover from a lap.

I'm like a medical soap opera, eh? I was normal until 2003~ish - then all hell broke loose.

20. 2nd R foot surgery to remove hardware
21. (2012) Possible R ear surgery to fix Superior Canal Dehiscence

Oral Surgery w/ full anesthesia
22. (1986) Removal of teeth for braces
23. (1989) Removal of impacted wisdom teeth
24. (2003) ER stitching up cavity from tooth pull not clotting
25. (2010) Tooth removal from failed root canal

Procedures using IV 'twilight' sedation, but not full anesthesia
26. (2006) Facet joint of spine injection #1
27. (2006) Facet joint of spine injection #2
28. (2007) Nerve mapping of facet joint of lower spine
29. (2007) Radio frequency ablation #1
30. (2007) Radio frequency ablation #2
31. (2008) Radio frequency ablation #3
32. (2009) Radio frequency ablation #4
33. (2009) Radio frequency ablation #5
33. (2010) Radio frequency ablation #6

There are simply no words at times.

I just spent some time in reading about the loss of both Thalon and Maddie. I'm overcome.

I'm linking to Lilith's blog which links to both the sites for Thalon and Maddie. Please read and support.

~ouch~

omg.

derby kicked my ass last night. kicked. my. ass.

After 5 minutes of laps of stretching (squats, knees & knee drops), we have a new thing of "100 laps" which he wants us to complete in under 20 minutes. And it's hard. and I skated on the inside track with the newer girls (i haven't skated in a year) which means i had shorter laps to make. After that, I thought I was done. But, another 30 minutes of skills work and then 30 minutes of an on-floor hard fucking workout. Think military style hardcore training w/ 10 second breaks. I made it through it though.

I just realized I didn't take my sweat soaked pads outta my bag last night before i hit the shower and promptly passed out. gross. must do that tonight.

Where is this outfit acceptable?

Roller Derby!

Did I mention I'm back in derby as of tonight? There was nothing better I could think of than being super fucking tired and emotionally spent than putting on my skates and allowing my coach to kick my ass.

I like the socks though. (duh.)

Looks like I had a flair for the dramatic.

Sorry about that, I didn't mean to make it sound like I was about to jump off a bridge or anything. I'm just simply tired. Physically and emotionally.

Karl isn't sleeping yet. Although I hadn't been working on a real schedule, so it's mostly my fault. I let him sleep in his swing way too long and I should have gotten him used to his crib sooner. Just something I wasn't on top of when I had two other kids to deal with. He generally still wakes up twice a nice to nurse and he's starting to skip one of those, so he's working on it. And he's all stuffy this week, so the not being able to breathe thing isn't doing wonders for sleeping neither. He actually slept through the night 11p-6a saturday night, unfortunately that was the night mommy went out and got really drunk and had grandma getting up with him anyway (we were in salida).

I'm back to work. And although I love being out all day, it's just another new thing to get used to. Problem is I'm still going to bed whenever I want and staying awake until 2am isn't too smart when not only do I have to get up by 7am, I have to get 3 kids ready, along with myself, in 90 minutes time. You'd think 90 minutes is a long time, but it's not. Mornings are like a time black hole.

What have I been waiting to tell you all? The asking out. Oh yes. This is funny. So, I'm back to work and my PC's hard drive is corrupt. I need a new one ordered, installed then rebuilt. I called down to the IT guys' room to check on the timing and I'm told by IT Guy #1 (itg1) that it's "almost done", so I can come down and check out their new digs (remember the big move? they were part of it) and wait for my computer there. I wasn't doing anything else, so I headed down there.

I'm chitchatting with itg1 and itg2 is in his cube right next to us. They have their own closed office / conference room thing, which has some working room and then 4 cubes, only 2 of them are being used. So we're bullshitting and the talk isn't all professional, so it's kinda fun, full of sexual innuendos - totally innocent - but it's where the conversation was. Well, itg2 comes over and starts acting a little goofy and then he suddenly blurts out, "nancy, want to go out for drinks?". It surprised me so much that I literally laughed and said "no!" in a very horrible manner - like he was a total asshole for asking. I immediately felt badly and itg1 stepped in and said "dude, she's married!" and I was like "yeah, and didn't you notice me walking around with a huge pregnant belly a few months ago?". Itg2 was so flustered he tried to explain he hadn't noticed and he was sorry.

To try to make things better, I tell him I can try to set him up with one of my girlfriends. This excited him. Immensely. Immediately he tries to tell me his requirements for a girlfriend. Let me interject here that he is a very stereotypical IT guy - likes gaming, has toys strewn about his cube (tpys like action figures still in the box), has an autographed picture of the chick from mythbusters (true, I think she's cool too, but he writes her fan mail), wears t-shirts with computer jokes under button up shirts, and he just moved out of his mom's house recently. He's 36. My single girlfriends tend to be punk rock derby girls. See my problem here? Well, he asks me DAILY about updates on the girlfriend front. Ugh. He's funny, I'll give him that, but funny in a dry humor computer geeky way. Heh. Poor guy, I know I can't help him.

Alright, that's the story for today. I've got more promised to tell you all, but I've got to get back to work. Just wanted to put up a little note to let you know I wasn't really ~that~ bad. But thanks for all the good thoughts.

I'm one step away

from a completely and total breakdown.

ugh.

I'm lame.

Worst blogger ever. A few bullets.

~ Thank you for answering the poll a few down. I got so many answers, I'm going to have to take the time to digest it, but I will return to it.

~ Scary times for Jenn. Few day old miss Caiden had what Jenn thought were seizures. Lots of tests later, things look fine. They should be released from hospital today.

~ Work is awesome. I had to take some time off (exchanged time from when I went in during maternity leave) for my back injections and a nice long tattoo appointment yesterday, but today will be a full day. I don't get my new assignment until Monday, so I may return to this blog today to show off tattoo pictures.

~ Speaking of work, I got asked out on Tuesday by the IT guy. Heh. I'll talk about that later today too.

~ Gotta get to work. More later.

Work Rules. And my Socks

(Work has been awesome. Some funny things have happened and some shit has happened too, but I'll tell you those al soon. Right now, I must do my Sock-It-To-Me post, which started this weeks and I don't want to be late.

First off, I signed up with kym for the sock exchange and this is the week we are supposed to show off our socks. I got my socks from a brand new (to me) blogger, which is extra cool because now I have a new blog to check out.

These bas ass socks came from across the worls from Australia from ScarredBellyButton, who writes Sacred & Scarred. Although she came through with some bad ass socks, she's going through a hard time right now so it would be nice to go on over and give her a little hug.

And now for my picture ...

Please note the "made in austrailia" sticker on my knee. If anyone knows my past, they will find this way funny and ironic.


So thank you Sacred&Scared!!! They will be perfect work socks.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go.

12 weeks off of work and I'm heading back in the morning. I can't tell you how excited I am! I get to get up first thing in the morning, head to work, stop off for my lovely daily coffee and go to my little place at work - my own cube. It's not much living in cube world, but I honestly love it.

I'm starting a new job as of tomorrow too. Well, I'll probably get the week to ease back into things, plus, I have two half days this week for appointments (taking back the time from when I went in during my leave to move cubes). So next week will probably start my new new job. Same group, new manager and a totally new job. I've wanted to move to Project Management from Development for a long time and my boss finally reorganized the group to give me this responsibility. My new boss is awesome too - we've been friends for years, but the good thing here is I also respect the shit out of her, so there shouldn't be a problem recognizing her as my boss. She's given me the choice to go into a BA (business analyst) or PM (project manager) roll. The final decision hasn't been made, but I may start in the BA roll because it's more closely related to my development background, which should really come in handy.

I already blogged about it on my other blog, so if you want my opinions about the family aspect of going back to work, check it out there.

Such exciting times. I hadn't posted this weekend at all and I had to get the boob post away from the top of the screen. So I give you this dribble. :)

National Cleavage Day.

Heh. Heather mentioned it's National Cleavage Day today. Per wikipedia, which I have linked to, it's actually a real day. Maybe not my Nation's holiday, but it's official in South Africa. So... In the name of goodwill towards my fellow South Africans, I'll post my post baby cleavage for all the nice girls out there who read this blog and also for all the freaks who will get to this page inadvertantly. (And don't forget to answer my questions in the post right under this one!)

My girls in all their glory.

A few questions ...

I know my readership has probably changed quite a bit in the last year. Due to this, I want to know what would be the best topics to continue to discuss. I've still got a lot of fiery topics in my head about infertility, pregnancy, and general topics. But if my readers are really all of one type or another, I want to focus on what would be the best for me to type about.

So if you could please, answer me these few questions? Click "anonymous" in your answer if you'd like. For this poll, I don't need to know who you are.

1. What "community" do you feel yourself the MOST part of? (infertility, parenting, pregnancy, parenting after if, pregnancy after if, etc, etc, etc)

2. If you are TTC, what are your stats? Cycle #? Treatment? TTC #?

3. If you are parenting, how many children do you have? Did you endure IF with any of them?

4. Are you religious? If yes, are you easily offended in regards to religious topics or the fact I am not religious?

5. Are you political?

6. Do you like to read my hot topics? If yes, do you like to debate them with me or do you just like to read everyone else's comment?

7. Do you like reading my schnarky posts? Or do you think I am just being a little whiny bitch? (it's okay - you can say yes!)

8. What subject(s) do you really like reading about and discussing?

Welcome to the world Caiden!

Jenn brought little miss Caiden Lily into the world at 4:05am ET weighing in at 7lbs 13ozs.

Congratulations to Jenn and her Husband and a big welcome to the little girl with a full head of dark hair (I saw a picture - she's freaking adorable!) that is sure to steal their hearts. In fact, I'm sure she already has.

A few exciting points ...

(note - the first few bullets are pregnancy related, so just letting you know before hand)

~ Jenn is in labor RIGHT NOW. And she took my advice and pre-set up the ability to text message her blog, so she's doing the live-while-laboring blogging too. I am ~so excited~ for Caiden's big entrance in the world. She's 39w5d so it's perfect timing. Go over and watch for her updates!

~ You all know I have talked and talked about my girl Chicklet. But did I ever mention she got the infamous 2nd line? On a fucking natural cycle too! I am betting I already told you about it, but I just got done emailing her and got all giddy about it again. So I'm repeating myself. Tomorrow is her first u/s and she's very nervous, so if you are so inclined, go over and give her a word of encouragement while she waits for tomorrow.

~ And while I'm at the repeating myself thing, another one of my internet BFF's, Pam, went ahead and got herself pregnant from her first IVF cycle. Yay! God damn. Fabulousness I tell you!

~ Remember me mentioning my irl BFF being very upset when she got a BFN on her 2nd cycle ttc #3? Yeah, well, cycle #3 was the charm for her. Although I have a bit of jealousy over her fertility success, I'm still thrilled for her and wanted to give a little 'shout out' over her success.

~ And while SO MANY people are getting such great news, others didn't have the greatest of success. My friend Jayme got a bfn on her recent FET. She already knew the outcome, but the BPT was today, so it's tough to handle. If you could go over and offer her a virtual hug, I'm sure she would appreciate it. Getting a negative around a cycle where many others get the opposite news is even harder to handle, at least in my opinion so an extra comment or two will go a long way. (And Jayme, I got your email and I will answer it tonight.)

~ I got my SOCKS today for this round of sock-it-to-me! More on this soon.

~ There is a bunch more info to share, but I have to get dinner started. I'll blog more shortly. (hopefully)

Oh, and before I click "publish" - Thank you for your support in sharing my good news about my biopsy results. There are so many of you I wish I could fly right out and hug.