Thursday, June 19, 2008

Grandma has passed.

We were all going out of town to Salida this weekend, but Friday we got word Grandma was not doing well. She was in hospice to recover from an infection, but it started to look like she wouldn't be leaving to go home in the traditional sense.

Tom and I took the kids to see her on Saturday. We were stopped at the door by Tom's parents, telling us we may not want to bring the kids in to see her because of the way she looked. The kids were taken down to the play area while we went in.

Grandma Vicky was 89 years old. Her health had been drastically declining in the past few years, but she was still Vicky. The woman I now looked upon was not the Vicky I have known. In her place was a body that showed her years. The skin draped upon her skull and her mouth gaped open. Her teeth now looked too large for her small frame. Her eyes stayed closed and she made random movements. She wasn't responding. She was dying.

Although she looked different, she wasn't scary. I felt the kids should come in to see her. They loved their great grandma and I wanted them to see that she was quite sick, so when I explained she was gone, it would make some sense to them. I brought Ella and Allison to her bedside. Allie was a little frightened, so I kept her in my arms, but Ella went right up to her. She started telling her great grandma how she had been at the zoo that day, this being one of the few times great grandma didn't make the trip with us. Upon hearing the children's voices, great grandma opened her eyes and said a few words. I heard "Ella" and "zoo". Vicky was for sure responding. It was great to have that happen.

Next, I put Vicky's hand on my belly and told her "baby" and she repeated the word. She simply adored her great grandchildren so much. She was there for each of their births, being one of the few people to hold them when they were not yet even an hour old. I'm happy she learned she would have another great grandchild, if only for a fleeting moment.

We said our goodbyes and went home. The next day she was less responsive, not opening her eyes at all. The children and I stayed home while Tom spent time with her, along with his parents.

Saturday night, at 9:30pm, hospice called the family and said she was in the process of active dying. It would still be hours, but the family gathered. While Vicky slept, the family was next to her, speaking quietly of the good times they've had with her.

At 1:30am, Vicky's daughter, Diana, felt the urge to go sit next to her mom. There was no chair, so she brought a wheelchair over, sat down and held her hand. Vicky took 3 deep breaths and then died.

Vicky had a wonderful life, filled with family and love. She passed with her children all around, her daughter grasping her hand.

Goodbye Vicky. You will be missed.

41 comments:

The Captain's Wife said...

So Sorry Nancy. I lost my Grandmother in March and her passing was vvery similar. Peace to you and your family.

Deb said...

My condolences to you all Nancy. ::HUGS::

Meredith said...

Sorry for you and your family's loss ((hugs))

Lori said...

What a gift she was, and what a gift to her to be surrounded by loved ones.

If you have to go (which we all do), this is not a bad way.

Thanks for sharing this moment with us.

Brandi said...

I'm so sorry about your loss Nancy. Your family will be in my thoughts.

alison said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you will be able to find some peace during this sad time. *hugs*

Brandi said...

I'm sorry for your family's loss Nancy. Your in my thoughts.

MrsDrink said...

I'm sorry hun, it must have been so hard. (((HUGS))) You're all in my prayers. <3

Duck said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Nancy.
And comment away on my blog... I'm okay, hell I can even look at your belly pics and be happy for you!

Sara said...

I am so sorry for the loss of Grandma Vicky. I know that is so hard. I am so glad, however, that she was able to "meet" your newest baby.
Take care...

Io said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Brett and Audra said...

So sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers

~*JaYmE*~ said...

I'm sorry Nancy. I'll be thinking about you and your family. Its hard I know.

KatieM said...

Awww hun, I am so sorry. Reading this brought back so many memories of my grandmother passing.....my thoughts are with you and the family.

Chas said...

I'm so sorry, Nancy. Hugs for your family!

Morrisa said...

I am so sorry for your loss. What a touching story, she sounds like a wonderful lady.

Jenera said...

Oh Nancy, I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you. Big hugs to you and your family.

Our family is complete said...

I am sorry for you family's loss. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Hugs,
Amy

Spicy Sister said...

So sorry for your family's loss. She sounds like an amazing woman.

Toni said...

I am sorry Nancy! I will keep your family in my prayers

Michelle(haydensmama) said...

Oh man...I'm very sorry for your loss...

Shea said...

Oh Nancy! My grandfather is dying also, right now he's at home but with hospice care. I can understand to some extent what you guys are going through. I'm not as close to my grandfather as you sounded to be but I know it will be hard anyway. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Carrie Ann said...

So sorry about your Grandma!! May your family find comfort in your sweet memories of her.

jenn said...

I'm so sorry about your Grandma Vicky, this brought up a lot of memories of my Mema & when she died. It is a lovely thing to be so loved & surrounding by your family & I hope that she was comforted by that.

You & your family are in my thoughts

Earl Gearl said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Kelly said...

I am so sorry Nancy.

Lilith Silvermane said...

I'm so sorry Nancy. I'm happy that you had the time with her that you did, and that she knew that there was another baby coming into the world that she will get to "meet" before you do.

She was truely loved and that is obvious!

theclam said...

Nancy, sending you and yours my deepest condolences.

I'm so glad that Vicky took her last breaths holding Diannes hand.

Annette said...

So sorry for your loss.

Valerie said...

I am sorry for your loss.

Katherine said...

You are so prolific, AND you work your ass off at home and work. You're my idol...

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I lost both my grandparents within six months of each other this year, and it was hard. However, I took Max to see both of them within days of their deaths, and I think it helped them both let go. You did the right thing with your children, and I bet you made her passing that much easier for her.

Jendeis said...

I'm so sorry hon. My thoughts are with you and yours.

Tammy said...

I am sorry for your loss. {{HUGS}}

Kaci said...

I'm sorry for your family's loss Nancy. Y'all are in my thoughts.

Morgan said...

Hey Nancy I left you a comment (i think i made a mistake when i pushed published) to this but I don't see it so I just wanted to make sure you knew you are in my thoughts, along with the rest of your family. You all have been through so much so I know you both have the strength to get through this. ((HUGS))

A said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so good to hear that you all got to say goodbye to her, and that she was "there" for at least a moment. (((hugs)))

Laurel said...

Wow Nancy this was really eloquent. You are right she will be missed. I will miss her sitting on your couch, eating her cake, and laughing at the girls. I am sorry for your loss.
Love ya!

Jewels said...

I have tears, as heart breaking as it is, it can be just as beautiful to watch and be there for someone as they slip out of this world as it is to watch them slip into this world.
We too went through this with my Grandfather (age 68) 12 1/2 years ago, He was too young for me to let go, but I'm glad we got to be there as a family in his last days and moments. ((hugs))

Sarah R said...

Sorry for your loss. ~Hugs~

One of my favorite residents at the nursing home (where I work) passed away yesterday. He was loved by EVERYONE.

I'm glad Grandma got to see Ella and Allie before she passed on.

Lee said...

So sorry for your loss.

sacredandscarred said...

I'm sorry for your loss though I'm coming to the party very late. What a lovely way for her to go.