Sunday, June 22, 2008

I need to vent.

I am quite frequently flabbergasted at how little women know about getting pregnant. I understand that unless you have gone through infertility, many of the ins and outs just simply aren't talked about, but the basics? Come on.

It's ~so hard~ to read some of the posts on the first trimester boards. The information I see being given is sometimes so incredibly wrong. First of all, every other post is from someone saying "I'm bleeding and I took a pregnancy test and it's negative, could I be pregnant?". I simply leave those alone because I want to scream "No you fucking moron!", but instead, I stay silent. But then I see SO MANY women give these responses just full of false hope. 20 year old girls saying "I tested negative for weeks after my period was due, so keep testing until you get a positive!". Oh please. You ovulated late. Tests do not show negative when you really are positive. There are late implantations, like myself, but after hcg is in your system, a test will show positive.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard all the "well, my friend knew when she ovulated and still tested negative for months!". No she didn't. It's freaking impossible. Maybe they had ~one~ bad test, but testing like that for weeks or even months? Na-uh. It doesn't happen. They must have just been off with their ovulation. Or they had an annovulatory month and didn't get a period, then ovulated and got pregnant - so it just seemed they were that late. It just simply does not happen. Period.

28 comments:

docgrumbles said...

What about the ones who think they feel the baby kick as early as week 8? Or say that bleeding at week 7 is no big deal because most miscarriage happen around week 12? WTF?

It is hardest to stay silent when women POAS to assure themselves they aren't miscarrying - hello! Women have hcg in their systems weeks after losing their babies.

Okay, must stop now.

Io said...

Personally I like (hate) the newbies who post saying that they just started trying this month and their period is 3/10 of a second late and their boobs hurt, so does the board think the might be pregnant?
I mean really, is it that hard to take a fucking hpt? You know the board can't tell you anything.

elephantscanremember said...

I completely agree. Also, that site has a new board just for those questions. Ugh. Leave the pregnant ladies and the ones that are actually trying alone!

Geohde said...

Precisely.

It's been a very long time since I've visited early attempted or suceeded knocked up forums- does my head in,

J

MrsSpock said...

I was surprised myself when I worked L & D how ignorant my own coworkers were- who had supposedly passed boards...They were some of the worst offenders when it came to nonsensical reproductive advice when I was TTC. I feel your pain...

shawn said...

I can't believe you have the patience for that. I suffered through it in my first pregnancy but there was no way I could tolerate it a second time around, let alone a third. The way I look at it is those questions are posted by totally ignorant and immature late teens/early twenties who are clueless about everything. You should start your own board with all your pregnant IF'ers--sounds like you know a few. Hopefully things get better on webmd once you get to third tri.

Earl Gearl said...

True that Nancy! I was telling my mother about my follicles the other day and she didn't even know what they were!!! She had four freaking kids. Of course, I'm a research addict and she is not. Whatever...ignorance is bliss? I don't think so. Plus, anything I get off of the board, I take with a grain of salt. Real medical advice comes from my doc and only my doc.

Kim said...

So true, so true! Although I do have a friend who went thru IF treatments and was still clueless. Both of our re's used to use what they called a marshmallow or pillow after and iui. It is like a small cushion placed next to the cervix and it has a string to remove like a tampon. Anyway you had to leave them in for a few hours after an iui. My friend called me freaking out b/c it had barely been an hour and she had to pee. I said, well go pee! She said But the pillow is still in! I started laughing so hard! And had to give her a little anatomy lesson! Um, I think I learned that in fourth grade! And she already had a baby vaginally! It is about three year later and I still tease her!

JamieD said...

I know what you mean. I was absolutely shocked at some of the things I read on a 'getting pregnant' board. I had to eventually stop going to them because I would catch myself getting so frustrated over nothing!!

theclam said...

I'm so with you on this one, but more recently I read an article where a couple went to a fertility clinic cos they weren't falling pregnant and guess what - they were not having SEX! They did not know that SEX = baby... Crikey Moses!! How can you NOT know that????

The Frogge Family said...

I don't think anything can be worse than my very own friend who refused to have sex with her husband during the first few months of her pregnancy because she didn't want to get pregnant again while she was already pregnant and have twins...

Oh yes... at 25y/o, this is how she thought people had twins.

KatieM said...

Hehehe, yeah....I just laugh at crap like that, especially on that silly first tri board. I figure even if I give them the RIGHT info, they are probably going to agree with all of those "other" people anyways. Silly, silly people.

Oh, and to answer your question....Yup, thats what she calls it..."fetal anatomy scan". I mean of course she says "the" ultrasound most of the time when referring to it, but on my chart it's written as the former.

Sarah R said...

I had a co-worker who has 2 children of her own. She had no idea how pregnancies occurred and thought you could get pregnant at any time of the month! And this woman is in her early 40s. I would think by NOW you would have a clue about fertility. I can't believe how stupid some people are, seriously.

Morgan said...

sing it sister!!

Morgan said...

one more thing...im already 11 weeks and had several U/S..should i take an HPT just to be sure?

Totally kidding!!

Liz (antimuse13) said...

Amen Nancy!! Amen!

Motel Manager said...

My "favorite" thing about the boards is the way there's a disconnect between, on the one hand, how women will tell other women not to give up hope even when, as you mention, there is NO CHANCE they are pregnant, and, on the other hand, how they'll scare the bejesus out of someone who asks whether it's okay that they ate an unheated turkey sandwich.

Amy said...

I know exactly what you mean. I've been staying away from the boards lately. But my friends in real life are even clueless. They are the pregnant ones and I know more info than they do. It's sad really. When I start talking about any info on the subject I either get a look like I'm from outer space or a look that "oh sweetie you've never been pregnant. what could you know?" Ugh. Give me a break.

MrsMartin said...

Along the lines of the testing negative for weeks... well, I'm guilty of that one... But only because it was a partial molar... So I guess we are both write along the lines of me being pregnant, but pregnant with nothing.

Gibson Twins said...

I have to agree with everything you said! It is so (unfortunately) accurate. My personal favorite was junior year of high school, all the girls would think they were pregnant from not necessarily even sex! They would say something to the effect of "I kissed a guy, he grabbed my ass, now I think I'm pregnant" and sad thing, they truly believed it.

I personally think there should be some kind of requirement to get pregnant. Like knowing how it happens LOL.

I found your blog of the NCLM list, look forward to reading along now!

Lisa said...

My personal favorite was one I saw the other day. It was, get this- "I had oral sex with my b/f and I swallowed, now I am 2 days late for my period, could I be pregnant?". Are you F-ING SERIOUS??? I think we need a PG after I/F board. I was surprised not to really find anything much out there. If I don't find one I think I am just going to shun the message boards until at least the 2nd trimester!

Sarah R said...

What about the people who have sex and then someone tells them to take a pregnancy test (like, the next day)?

I can't tell you how many times I've seen this on the boards.

Becky said...

Hello... I just stumbled on your blog (from a google blog search) and wanted to say hi & I really like your writing! I'll be checking out your archives too.
:) Becky
http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

Sam said...

It really is quite shocking isn't it! It makes me wonder where these people get their information from!!

Amber said...

Yea, the false hope thing is hard to watch. And yes, I am shocked about how little rank and file women know about babies and pregnancies. Just shocked.

Kaci said...

I have a good one. My SIL told me "oh we tried for a long time" and then I said something about how pregnancy isn't really 40 weeks & she didn't understand. I had to explain that since you don't ovulate until ~2 weeks after your first day of AF those 2 weeks you're not really pg. She didn't get it. Tell me how someone can *try* and not know that??? ARGH!

Anonymous said...

I agree the baby kicking at 10 weeks cracks me up to. Hello it's like the size of a pea! I love the people who keep saying. "you may still get pregnant on your own". These people know I don't have tubes BUT are stupid enough to think I can still get knocked up! Come on and give me a break dumb ass!

heavenlytini said...

hi nancy i'm tina marie(heavenlytini) from the clomid board i lurk on ur blog often i hope to be where u are soon neways i love this blog it is so funny!!!u gotta check out the am i pregnant board those posts are even worse lol