And I realized I am terrified.
In my 7th weeks, I felt nauseated. And I was exhausted. And now? Well, nothing.
I saw the heartbeat 6 days ago. And since then, nothing. I haven't felt anything. My breasts are kindof sore. But not incredibly so like they were.
Good lord. I just took the time to acknowledge how freaked out I am. And I am.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
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June
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- I couldn't find the heartbeat.
- Still in shock.
- It's "Let's Admit it Thursday"
- Do you know ~that~ person?
- Bleeding with PIO?
- all is well...
- I need to vent.
- Have you missed me?
- Have I mentioned how I love all nighters?
- Saturday Scattergories and "what I have done"
- Goodbye Sammy.
- Timing couldn't of been any better.
- I've lost my symptoms
- Grandma has passed.
- Mmmmm. Sushi.
- Go Boston!!!
- Randomness on a tuesday
- The belly.
- The ignorance of Infertility.
- Lord Only Knows.
- TGIF.
- Are you a blogger?
- Just call me u/s queen.
- What's that number?
- I'm hurt.
- The "after bfp guilt" post ...
- braces bunch!!
- The Old Wives' Tale of the Heartbeat.
- Clearing these hurdles without even looking!
- It's book review time!
- Let's talk about boobies.
- Fashion Show!
- Heels make boys feel inadequate.
- hint for the creepy bouncing widgets
- I lied. So sue me.
- Sucketh of Monkey Balls.
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June
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23 comments:
I am sorry this isn't getting any easier. It just sucks. Sending love and sore boob queasy feeling vibes your way.
I lost all symptoms around 7W myself. You've been through this before. They come and go, and every time it's scary and hell but you'll get through it. (((((HUGS)))))
Aww...I'm sorry Nancy!!! I hope you get your pg symptoms back!!
Willing to swap - I'm nauseated and exhausted.
Seriously though Nancy if you are really worried call your doc. A quick scan will reassure you.
Sending good thoughts.
I hope it's just one of those things where every pregnancy is different.
I agree with Sharon- call your doc & get a quick peek if you can.
{hugs}
I wish I could give you some advise, but I can't... What I will say though is that I pray they come back and you can continue to breathe easy.
have been there too a few weeks ago. don't you worry. symptoms really come and go.
I agree I would call your RE. Maybe they can just get you in for a quick check.
(((HUGS)))
Amy
I freaked out when I lost my symptoms for 2 days and everyone assured me that they come and go. I did end up getting m/s back in full swing. If you are concerned call your doctor, hopefully they can reassure you. I totally understand, everything scares me!
lost my symptoms at 7 weeks, too, in my first pregnancy...and it was a boy! (just saying)
I did call my dr., though. (they said no symptoms unless accompanied by cramping/bleeding is not a symptom of miscarriage). You know all these things, I'm sure.
Are you going to call to get it checked out? Hope everything is OK...
Oh honey call the doc if your that concerned (and it sounds like you are). Dont freak yourself out thinking the worst - make the call.
When I was 10w with #2, all my symptoms disappeared overnight. I totally freaked out about it, even though I knew rationally that I shouldn't. I told my doc and she offered to do a quick u/s for me for reassurance. I felt so much better when I saw that baby moving around and the heart beating away. I'll bet you are fine, but if you are stressing, call your doc. You've been through enough, you don't need to deal with any more worry or stress.
As much as symptoms can suck, they are reassuring. More than likely it isn't a bad sign, but of course you already know that and it doesn't stop the worrying!
On the baby tattoos, my friend bought them someplace in Olympia, but I figured they must be on ebay too. Sure enough. If you go there now and look up item 300234391278 there they are. $4.95 with $2.95 shipping. Or just type in baby tattoos in the search bar.
I'm impressed...pregnant and getting tattoos. You have a high tolerance for pain! Despite my hubby and his full sleeves, I don't have one single tattoo. Maybe someday. In the meantime, we look like a bit of an odd couple.
Sending you good thoughts. Wish I could dispell some of what I think is a hangover on you. At least for peace of mind and all. ;)
Call the doc. No need to sit around worrying and wasting your time on something when you can be reassured quickly! You are in my thoughts Nancy!
Oh Nancy, I just read your post -- I would agree with seeing if you can get a scan -- just to reassure you.
My thoughts and love are with you,
Pam
:( I remember freaking out when I lost my symptoms, but finally realized it's normal. Hang in there, but if you're really worried, call the doc - no reason to sit worried when they could do a quick u/s for you. (((hugs)))
Did this happen with your other two pregnancies?
Sending you good thoughts, Nancy.
Symptoms come and go. I hope yours come back soon.
I am so sorry . . . who else but IFers would understand WANTED to be sick and exhaused?!?!
When is your next appt? Could they get you in for a quick scan?
Thinking of you . . .
OMG, this happened to me too. We went 6/6 for our U/s and I was sick and tired all weekend. Mon rolled around and I was full of energy, no sickenss at all...then Tuesday the same....then Wed....finally I got sick Wed night and was sick several times yesterday. Today...so far so good :)
Who ever thought we would actually feel good about puking?
I totally understand what you are going through. My symptoms have come and gone for the last 9 weeks. You'll get through it. Every pregnancy is different.
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