It's question asking time.

But this time, it's my questions to you.

Today I'm asking questions to all the newest mommies out there. (The next one is a huge one brewing regarding a new perspective of primary infertility "vs" secondary infertility).

Something I am very interested in is the aspect of expected vs actual. There were so many assumptions I went into pregnancy/labor/delivery with, it made my actual experience not only different from what I expected, but surprising. This makes me question if other's had the same thing happen to them or not.

(If you choose to answer the questions, please cut/paste the questions, minus my answers, as it's hard for me to read through comments of just answers)

1. Early "symptoms" of pregnancy - Was what you actually felt/experienced different from what you thought they would be like?
-- Expected: I assumed when I got pregnant, I would immediately feel nauseated, tired, have a heightened sense of smell, and top it all off with a bad case of heartburn.
-- Actual: I only felt tired and I peed more. Morning sickness didn't hit me until 7 weeks (which makes sense, as m/s is caused by the hcg and it wasn't until my levels were much much higher that I got sick from it). Heartburn didn't happen until late in my 2nd tri at the earliest, since it was the size of the baby pushing up on my stomach, making the acid lurch in my throat. The smell thing was simply an aspect of morning sickness - it's not like pregnant women are smelling superheroes.

2. Many women are afraid they won't be able to tell the difference between a braxton hicks and a real contraction. When you got a real contraction, was there and obvious difference?
-- Expected: I had what I would consider normal BHCs, so I knew those were nothing like real labor contractions. But I did have a few "painful" contractions, which I assumed were totally like the real thing.
-- Actual: I was fucking 100% wrong. Real contractions were so different from what I was feeling and there was no mistaking the real ones for the practice ones.

3. Drug Free Labor. Many women want to do it naturally. Some even go into it without an open mind, thinking drugs==bad, no way around it. A) If you wanted a drug free labor and delivery, did you succeed? B) Regardless of the outcome (opting for drugs or not), has your opinion about natural labor and delivery changed at all?
-- Expected: I wanted a drug free natural labor and delivery, I even hired a doula to help me through it. I was open to changing my plans though, if I needed pain relief, I would ask for it.
-- Actual: After 9 hours of a hard pitocin driven labor and only 1cm of dilation, I asked for an epidural. Unfortunately, due to a back injury where I have scar tissue in my lower spine, epidurals don't work on me, so I still had 3 natural labor and deliveries.

4. Inductions. Many women get tired and uncomfortable at the end and ask for inductions. Did you? If so, are you happy with your decision?
-- Expected: I did ~not~ want any inductions. Period.
-- Actual: I was induced 3 days early with Ella for medical reasons (placenta failing). With Allison, I had 3 days of pre-labor and I was exhausted, so I opted to have my OB break my already bulging bag of water. I would have gone that day on my own anywho, so I don't consider that as an induction, as I didn't get any induction drugs. With Karl, I opted for an induction due to wanting to avoid a c-section. He only did manual versions (turning baby) between 38-39 weeks, so I consented to it as close to 39weeks as possible. Ends up my blood pressure spiked and my placenta started failing, so I was scheduled at 38 weeks instead. I was given cytotec to soften my cervix, but my water broke on it's own, kick starting labor. No pitocin was used. I was happy with all of the decisions, especially the decision with Karl due to the placenta accreta. Having ~my~ OB there to deliver and knowing my history so well saved my life.

5. Recovery. Was recovery as you imagined?
-- Expected: I honestly didn't even consider the general recovery from a vaginal birth. I did hear the stories of how going to the bathroom to poop was scary/painful after an episiotomy or tearing though.
-- Actual: I was ~not~ ready for how painful it was for the next 24 hours. I was literally doubled over in pain where just standing up to shower or to walk to the toilet was hard. I did not know my uterus would continue to contract for days. It got worse with each baby too - apparently this is normal.

6. Post delivery body. Did your own body surprise you?
-- Expected: I actually bought into the "you will look like you are 6 months pregnant" when you leaving the hospital expectation. I brought smaller pants with me to go home in and everything.
-- Actual: The giant "belly full of jelly" freaked me out. I had no clue I would still be just as large, except minus the tautness. I had to go home wearing the same pants as I came in wearing. The after birth belly is the worst part for me, as it's so disgusting.

7. Postpartum bleeding. Were you ready for it?
-- Expected: Didn't really think of this one much at all. I guess I assumed it would be like a period.
-- Actual: I bled for weeks and weeks and weeks. 6 weeks with Ella. 4 weeks with Allison and then again at 6 weeks due to placenta accreta. I'm already starting to taper way off now, only after 2 weeks, but this is due to me getting a d&c immediately following the birth. What I was ~not~ ready for was the first 24 hours and passing softball size clots. They should really tell new moms this.

8. Postpartum period. Anything in this category surprising?
-- Expected: I thought I would ~not~ get AF back because I was exclusively breastfeeding. I knew it was a possibility and I knew I needed (ha!) to use protection because ovulation could happen at anytime, but I just didn't think I'd even get AF.
-- Actual: Imagine my surprise when I got my first AF 6 weeks postpartum and like clockwork after that. With Allison, I had the IUD put in at 6 weeks and I never had a period until I had it removed a year later.

9. Did you experience the "newborn honeymoon"?
-- Expected: I did not know there was a time period after birth where the baby would do nothing more than sleep and eat. I simply thought the personality my baby displayed at the beginning would really be his disposition.
-- Actual: The first two weeks is when I would tell people "Ella is ~such~ a good baby! She only cries when she is hungry or needs her diaper changed!" And then the honeymoon was over. Both my girls really showed their dispositions and turned into a normal baby who cries all the time. I was DUPED into believing I had these super chilled out babies. Sure, some babies are this quiet and chill and never get out of this honeymoon phase, and this is where I get 100 comments from mothers who gloat "oh, not ~my~ baby! My baby was ALWAYS SO GOOD!" But I'm not complaining about my normal loud crying babies at all. In fact, I have actually heard there are definite pros to having a baby who expresses themselves via crying as opposed to a quiet baby.

10. Sleep deprivation and general feelings of taking care of a newborn. Did you have any idea just how fucking hard it would really be?
-- Expected: I knew it would be "hard" and I knew I would be "tired". But how can you really be ready for something you have no clue about? I had been around newborns when my sister lived with us after she had both her babies, so I thought I had a leg up on the knowledge.
-- Actual: No clue. No fucking clue at all. I still can't believe how hard it is to take care of a little being who doesn't do much at all. But I soon learned that out of 24 hours in a day, 22 hours are needed to take care of your newborn. The other 2 hours? That's for you to sleep, eat, shower, etc. And sleep deprivation? Holy shit. I used to party like a rock star back in my college days and afterwards, so I knew what it was like to be tired and hungover. The sleep deprivation from a newborn is nothing like I have ever felt. It's all encompassing. I won't even try to explain it here, as it just can't be put into words.

Extra Credit: Is there anything else in regards to expected vs actual you would like to share?