There is no way he'll let me wait.

My OB mentioned if everything about today's appointment went well, "we'll see" about waiting until wednesday. I came in today with high hopes. BPP? Good. Still in exact same breech position, but great movements, practice breathing, good fluid. Placenta is still a bit degraded, but no more than from Monday's u/s. NST? Fabulously reactive. "We'll put your chart on his desk" the nurses say to me as I start to walk out, waving goodbye.

"Wait! We almost forgot your blood pressure check!"

I make small talk as we walk to the little bp/weight check room. ~swoosh~swoosh~swoosh~ the pump goes up. I'm confident it'll be high still, but stable as it's been in the past week. Nurse stoic looks at me. "158/100".

Shit.

My doc put me on partial bed rest when diastolic was over 80. He put me on complete bed rest (with my first pregnancy) when diastolic hit 90. When it hit 100, I was to meet him in the hospital within hours, to start the induction to deliver. What do you think 158/100 is going to buy me? It's certainly not going to allow me to get another week down the road.

This is my assumption here - as I am not an obstetrician (really, i'm not) - is he's going to call me tomorrow late morning after his rounds. He's already going to have a time I'm to show up at the hospital the next morning. He's going to try to perform the version, a lighter version of the version (heh, I've been waiting to mix those words) due to the risky nature of the cord. If he's successful, he'll start the induction with some cervidil. I wasn't effaced at all, so I don't see them going straight for pitocin, but again, the whole I'm not a doctor thing will play a role. If he is not successful, I'll be scheduled straight away for a c-section. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm scheduled for the c-section before we even try the version.

Tomorrow will most likely be my last day of pregnancy. I'll only be 38 weeks. Don't they have to make sure his lungs are mature enough? Or is that at 37 weeks? There is a very good survival rate at 38 weeks gestation, I know that. But I still worry. I still worry his done button hasn't popped yet. I am so freaking aggravated I'm going to have to give birth 2 weeks early. I'm not upset with it, as I understand the reasons are for both his survival and even my own. I'll have to remember I got to go into labor all on my own with Allison. And I'll force myself to remember how 3 days worth of pre-labor sucked. How 6 hours before Allison was born I was only 1 cm.

I just realized I am still thinking I'm going to have a vaginal birth, but I probably won't. And a c-section is going to be necessary. Pros of a c-section - less pain. Labor and delivery hurts. A lot. And I can get my tubes tied. And the risk of cord detachment during delivery and me bleeding to death is mitigated. So I have to deal with a harder, much harder recovery. It may make breastfeeding a little harder due to my milk not coming in right away. I'll be okay. Karl will be okay.

I had an acupuncture appointment today to try to get baby to turn. He's still as breech as he ever was, but it was a fabulously relaxing appointment. I had the needles in my ears, hands, knees, calves, ankles and toes. He then lit some herb smoke stick of some kind and once it was smouldering, he took turns holding it against the needles in my toes until they were too hot for me to take. He did this for 15 minutes and then left me in the room to relax. This is where it gets weird. I am not the relaxation type. I talk during massages. I talk during treatments. When left to my own accord in acupuncture sessions, I have to listen to my ipod or have a clock to watch. Left to my own devices, I go nuts. But today? It was blissful. I drifted in and out of consciousness. I couldn't even tell I was sleeping had it not been for the dreaming. It was wonderful. He came in after a few moments and informed me I had been in there for over an hour. Crazy.

I have to go get my swollen feet up. I'll update you when I hear from my doc tomorrow. Oh, and I have to tell you all of the story of how I almost punched a little 6 year old girl in the face. Seriously. Until later ...