Everyone feel better?

Seems my last post allowed many of you to vent your frustrations with all things ttc support related.

A few comments from a few things that stuck out to me ...

~ My categories were by no means trying to categorize the world of ttc. It was just a quick list of some different groups I'm familiar with in ttc-land to give examples to a handful of different ways I find I need to support people. It's not like I categorize people I meet so I can support them, I always use a person's individual story to give my support. But when typing up a blog post about the aspect of differing levels of support, I simply had to use examples - and that's why the categories appeared. A few comments pointed out how I shouldn't categorize because I don't know their full story, or where in the story they are even coming from and you are right - no one should categorize blankly like that and it's why I don't.

~ A few of you mentioned how you don't "fit" in any of those categories. I guess I'm still talking about the previous bullet, but I wanted to mention how I thought of many of these situations, while I was writing the post itself. Single mothers, Same sex partners, women who needed medications to simply ovulate, MFIF, etc. But to make sure I got everyone would of meant I'd still be writing that list.

~ I was struck how many "fertiles" (and I'm sorry to keep using that word, it makes it so us vs them) are having troubles too - in supporting their friends and getting rude comments directed at them too. I did want to mention how I feel about the aspect of an IFer saying we appreciate our children more than a fertile does. Thanks a bunch of donkey shit. As Lisa pointed out, of my 3 babies, one ~was~, in fact, "easy" to conceive. And of course I don't appreciate my other two more than her. BUT ... since I am in that unique position to feel how is to be on both sides on the fence, I did feel different about the BFPs of my hard to get pregnancies vs my easy pregnancy. I did "appreciate" the fact I even got a BFP more on my tougher ttc journeys, but not the baby themselves.

It's a phenomena I think women conceiving after secondary infertility understand the best. I've spoken to a few women in this boat. Where their first pregnancy was easy to achieve and when they went for the second, it was well, not so easy. They have talked about how they did take their pregnancies for granted and how they had BRAND NEW feelings of appreciation for the whole thing when they experienced infertility first hand. They did admit they felt different about their pregnancies after having it easy the first time. It's something I can't really talk to since I went through IF the first time, so it made me bitter before I ever had the opportunity to take something for granted.

Speaking of taking fertility for granted ... I actually think a ~huge~ example of this is how anyone can even call themselves "fertile" if they haven't finished building their family. Sure, you may have have gotten pregnant easily with all of your pregnancies so far, but you never know what will happen next. Yeah, if you have had multiple babies easily, you probably will fall into the fertile side of things, but - you just never know. It's ~so easy~ to take the only thing you've ever known for granted, isn't it?

(fyi - that was not a negative comment at all. I don't want anyone to end up with a surprise infertility experience. I'm just trying to make a point how things like fertility are taken for granted)

I wanted to thank you all for such a wonderful conversation. I have lots more, but I have to get some things done first.