forgive me. i am not myself. I have some major insomnia going on. I can drug myself with ambien, but the moment I have to wake up due to anything (pee, baby, first post baby AF), I can't go back to sleep. I feel like i'm going to die.
just wanted to give an update of where I am.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2009
(286)
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May
(21)
- Surgery #20, Here I come!!
- Babies in the REs office.
- A little advice ...
- To interrupt the drama filled posts ...
- What. The. Fuck.
- Everyone feel better?
- Note on previous post ...
- Shoot. BANG! (important update at bottom ... )
- Allow me to elaborate.
- Flight of the Conchords!
- Has anyone else noticed
- Whoa.
- thoughts of knitting needles.
- insomnia
- Hardcore.
- A big anniversary.
- Wow, 70% of you picked #1.
- A poll. (please answer??!)
- On my way to hospital
- Hahahahahha!!!
- The post in where I finally give up.
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May
(21)
23 comments:
Oh Nancy, yuck...I've had trouble sleeping lately but I usually get back to sleep -- sleep deprivation is the worst...
Do you sleepwalk on Ambien? I've heard stories about that stuff!
XO
Pam
I am so sorry. Being a former night shifter, I know there is nothing worse than a fucked up sleep pattern. I hope you get some ~real~ sleep soon.
Major suckage!!!
My SIL has suffered major insomnia since the birth of her 2nd child, who is now 2.5.
I have no advice--she takes Ambien also, but still only gets 3 hours of sleep a night. Insane. I hope you find a solution soon!
Ugh...hope the insomnia breaks soon and you can get some quality sleep.
I'm sorry babe! I hope you get some good sleep soon!
oh- and I decided to try out the coi-sleep last night, definitely will not continue past this need for constant feeding. Plus all possible precautions are taken, I am a light sleeper & I know I don't move in my sleep either. Plus her cradle is right next to my bed & if I am too tired to trust myself she goes right in there. I want to move her to her own room by the time she's 3 months- or sooner if feedings work themselves out sooner!
Maybe it's something in the air...all week I've woken up around 4-4:30 am and can't go back to sleep. It sucks. Hope your insomnia stops soon.
Sleep deprivation is the worst feeling. I am so sorry, sweetie. I hope you catch up on some sleep this weekend.
That SUCKS! I hope you are able to get some rest soon..
I had some major issues with insomnia with DS#1 around this time and ended up seeing a sleep specialist at the hospital. For me, it was "conditioned insomnia," which she said is extremely common post-partum. I did some crazy-ass sleeping reconditioning, but one thing that really helped was taking a tiny amount of a.tivan (prescribed by her) when I had the worst moments of not being able to go back to sleep. Also, traveling for work for a few days -- when I was away from the baby, I didn't have a problem going back to sleep.
A few things I learned from the reading she had me do then that I am reusing now -- don't freak out if you have something major at work the next day (adrenaline will compensate); you are sleeping more than you think you are; and don't look at the clock (turn it around) and wear an eyemask. But, really, the travel helped the most.
If none of this is helpful, I am still sending you lots of hugs! It'll pass.
Oh Nancy that really sucks. I hope you get some sleep some time real soon.
I've had it, too, post-partum. Still have it.
I would give you some advice, but it's the same advice that I need to take myself.
See your doctor.
Insomnia can be a huge symptom of PPD.
I struggle with insomnia sometimes. It sucks. Thinking of you and hope it passes quickly.
Oh, I hope you get some sleep soon!!! I'm feeling a bit deprived myself right now, so I hope this makes sense. I wanted to say thanks for entering the Great Cakes Soapworks giveaway at Geek by Marriage. Best wishes to you!!
Double, or hell- triple up on the Ambien! (Don't really do that, totally kidding!) Hope you catch some zzzzz's real soon!
You're a winner!
http://geekbymarriage.squarespace.com/home/2009/5/11/we-have-a-winner.html
Insomnia is the bane of my existance. I've struggled with it since high school, and it never goes away. I could honestly sleep all day, but as soon as it's dark, my mind starts racing, and I just lay in bed for hours.
Is it any wonder that I go thru life in an exhausted fog???
If you find the answer, let me in on it!
Oh, UGH. I hate insomnia. And I don't have it as bad (or often) as what yours sounds like. I really hope you get some relief (and SLEEP!!!) soon!!
Dude, you've been away for quite awhile. I hope you're doing ok?
Hey Nancy, I hope you're okay.
Hope all is ok. I've actually found some cool blogs through you. Thanks!!
Nancy, hope you are okay! You haven't posted in a while.
Take care of yourself. I hope you get back to some good sleep.
That blows hon. Sorry we keep missing each other on the phone, when you called yesterday I was at Star Trek and it had just started.
Ironic cuz I usually have no life huh?!
D.
Nancy I hope you are ok.
((HUGS))
Steph
stephs_3_kidz
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