Whoa.

I think I've entitled some of my posts the same way... "whoa." But last night was freaking crazy.

Let me back up a bit first.

I went to see one of my doctor's partners yesterday, one that could take me as a same day patient. He was nice, listened to everything about my back pain causing me to not be able to sleep. fyi - no more narcotics for me. I am going to pain management, drugfree, and hopefully getting my next RFA, radio frequency ablation, approved in the next few days. I've done down the narcotics road before and it simply becomes too much. I get used to the dosage quickly, they increase it, I take more, I need more, etc, etc, etc. It's a vicious, vicious cycle and I just can't be dependent on fucking pain meds ever again. Especially with my past, I need to watch this and I am just staying away from that avenue.

Ambien is awesome, I love it ~so~ much. BUT, I still wake up around 330a-4a and my back is too uncomfortable to get back to sleep quickly. I end up having to take advil and wait 30-45 minutes until it lessens enough for me to pass the fuck out. So this doc decided to hold off on giving me more ambien and prescribed me 30mg of temazepam (restoril) because it's supposed to decrease night awakenings (instead of inducing sleep).

I took it last night and I woke up maybe 18 times. So maybe it's not working the best for me. See, my problem is my back pain, not a sleep disorder, so I don't know if this should be the way I go. I am supposed to call back to discuss after a few days.

Oh. The Whoa part. DREAMS. Crazy CRAZY vivid dreams. I kept having sex dreams and waking up wondering why the hell I wasn't in the midst of actually having sex, my husband simply sleeping next to me. I even asked him to make sure today, it was THAT vivid.

I'm starting to feel a tad better, actually cleaning my house today. That made me feel better. Not the cleaning part, but the sitting in a nice and tidy house. The house wasn't actually too messy, I did dishes and put away some things in the living room, but I did the floors and went around with the vacuum and got all the nooks and crannies. I changed sheets. Washed loads of sheets and blankets. Reorganized some big items. Took out lots of boxes to the recycle pile. Stuff like that. It's nice to just be surrounded by clean.

I looked over my last few posts and they have been all "poor me" due to surgery, incisions and stabbing myself with knitting needles (I can't believe some of you offered to send me some. I mean, do you want me to do a live needle stabbing blog post!? heh.) So thank you for sticking with me and reading post after post of me whining. I'll try to do better.