Friday, October 2, 2009

Friday's Guest Blogger ... Jenn!

hello everyone- i'm jenn from the oasis here to guest blog for nancy. let me preface this with saying that i never capitalize anything in my blog- so i apologize (especially to nancy the queen of grammar!) if it's hard or frustrating to read. chalk it up to laziness as my blog is really my place to vent all the stuff in my head, both profound (not usually) and mundane (much more typically!). i write about adjusting to life as a new & unemployed mom to pumpkin (but that's a currently evolving story in & of itself) & wife of the hub. i started my blog two and a half years ago as a way to work through my frustrations & concerns with ttc. the super short version is that i married my first love & best friend after eons together & we always planned for kids sometime in the future. after being rushed to the hospital & finding out i had a congenital kidney defect & needed major surgery someday became right this very instant. after waiting to recover & then waiting almost 18 months to see an re- we finally gave it our all (financially speaking) in a hail mary iui + clomid challenge on cycle 20 that miraculously ended in a bfp, uneventful pregnancy, induction 2 days before my due date, 3 really hard hours of pushing & 1 perfect little pumpkin.

i first met nancy on the ttc message boards & knew i wanted to be friends with this super cool, super knowledgeable chic. she always had the stats & the background behind her to alternately calm us down, or ramp us up- whichever was most needed. i first started blogging because of her too. i couldn't go on the boards because of my job & seeing her blog made me realize that not only could i have a virtual diary to vent all my frustrations- there were actually tons of people out there who were in the same (or a similar) boat. i could get & give support all while doing something that i found therapeutic itself. i was hooked.

what i have learned from almost 3 years of blogging is that there is a lot you can give & take from it. there are always going to be people that disagree with you- or who don't want to listen to what you have to say. you could choose to get into petty fights with strangers. you can choose to ignore it. or you can take the braver approach that i see a number of bloggers take. you can be strong enough & brave enough to unflinchingly give your opinion on a subject- but be willing to listen to other sides of it & open up a touchy subject to a genuinely helpful discussion. you can be really strong & admit when you change your mind, or have offended someone & apologize, or just concede that everyone is entitled to their own opinion & open up a forum for sharing.
i am not a very vocal person. in fact- i often will hide or suppress my own opinion especially if there is conflict involved. or even the possibility for conflict. i hate fighting & arguments that much that i will let myself be trampled on (so to speak) just to avoid one. what blogging has taught me is that you can be both vocal & opinionated without being pushy or argumentative. i think the way that nancy approaches a subject that could be seen as controversial is fantastic. i have seen her admit when she has hurt someone & take pause to consider that there is more than just 'her' side to an argument. she has opened my eyes on more than one occasion that i can look at a situation from a different perspective & that a fresh set of eyes sees something completely different. that's why i love the blogworld & my blogbuddies. i know i can count on them for honest yet thoughtful opinions and a new perspective that i may never have seen. The relative anonymity of the internet seems to work in my favor this way. i am not as afraid of conflict since i know i can take time & think carefully about what i want to communicate without having to see all the emotions that inevitably go along with strong opinions. this has actually helped me gather up my courage (somewhat!) in the 'real' world & be able to speak my mind a bit more. i love seeing that it is okay to be brave & take a chance saying what you really think (or want) because even if you get people disagreeing with you, it doesn't mean you have to fight about it- or that given the chance they wouldn't have a rational and productive discussion with you. basically- blogging has taught me that we really can all get along if we just work at it (and ourselves) a bit.

oh- and did i happen to mention that i actually get to go & meet nancy!!!! like next month- holy crap am i excited!!!


Robin said...

Great post, Jenn! I've seen you comment before on Nancy's stuff but never checked out your blog. I will go and look now.

I got into blogging pretty much the same way you did. Nancy (via Mel) was one of the first few blogs that I stalked.

Anyhow, good post! I'm happy you are a TTC success story!

Lisa said...

Wow! It's amazing to hear that just about everyone met Nancy in the same way. It makes me wonder how all the people on the TTC boards are getting any good information without her there...

Sarah R said...

Great post, Jenn! And how lucky are you that you get to meet Nancy?! :)

Kristin said...

I love your stream of consciousness style of writing.

Lavender Luz said...

You describe Nancy perfectly: "alternately calm us down, or ramp us up- whichever was most needed."

Congrats on your pumpkin, Jenn.

Jen said...

You did a great job as a guest poster!

I met Nancy the same way you did and actually started my blog after reading hers and others that I met on the WebMd boards.

I read your blog, but for some reason have never left a comment. I think now I may start. I think you will be having a new follower!

nancy said...

Thank you so much for your post Jenn. And thank you for all the nice things you said about me. As Lori said, the part "she always had the stats & the background behind her to alternately calm us down, or ramp us up- whichever was most needed" was super cool to read.

I agree about how much you get out of blogging, except you know I enjoy a little more conflict than you! ;)

Congrats, yet again, on the pregnancy and delivery of miss caiden. I can't wait to meet you both.