Many of you have likely heard about this: A couple in Ohio elected to have a fourth child using their frozen embryos. On the day they learned that the woman was pregnant they also learned that another couple's embryos had been implanted. They had the option of aborting the fetus but elected to carry the baby boy to term and then hand him over to his biological parents.
I'm interested in all of your thoughts on this. Could you do this? Would you, after going through so much to conceive a child, abort a viable fetus if you learned it was not yours?
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
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- Trick or Treat now? Are you kidding me?
- It's over and done with.
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- Happy Tuesday!
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15 comments:
I would not abort but I promise you I'd own that clinic soon after the birth. I'm not a sue happy person but I'd sue the stethoscope off that doctor.
I would have the baby.
I would hope that I could be as brave as that couple. Handing that baby boy to his parents was heroic - the right thing to do, but still heroic.
At this point, I don't think I could ever have an abortion. Maybe if I had never had a m/c or seen a baby that grew inside of me I would have a different answer. I agree that I would own that place though. I can't even imagine the civil damages that would be awarded if you had parents on that jury...
I could never abort any baby. Just because it's not mine doesn't mean it's not a living baby that deserves a chance. I agree with the previous comments though, I would own that clinic in the end.
I couldn't abort the fetus. I'd feel too guilty about the innocence of the baby and I'd feel terrible for the other family whose baby it is.
I guess I would have to hope that I could get pregnant again, next time with my own embryo. What a heartbreaking situation for both families.
I wouldn't be able to abort either. I would probably have the baby, and if the bio parents wanted him/her back, like they did in this case, I would surrender the baby. And yes, I'd sue the doctor. It's a very emotional thing--carrying a baby for 9 months and then not even being able to keep it!
This is a touching and heartwarming but chilling story. If that makes any sense... I don't think I could have an abortion, but it sure would be hard to hand over that baby. I would do it, but I know I would be forever changed. A big part of my soul would be missing.
I hope she gets a big massive sum of money from that clinic. I'm wondering if we signed a clause stating we wouldn't sue if the clinic did that. I don't think so. I hope she gets to sue, get rich, and then go somewhere else, do IVF, have babies, and never have to work again.
This has been in my mind lately as i have offered (should they ever want it) to be my sister's GS. Granted- that is a completely different situation where you have the knowledge in the decision stage that you are not keeping the baby you are carrying.
I don't know if I could be as strong as the couple in the news. I do know I would find it nearly impossible to abort after carrying my daughter. But to hand the baby over after 9 months, that I can not even begin to fathom.
I ~do~ agree with everyone else in that I would sue the pants & ass off the clinic. I am very anti-sue happy culture we seem to have- but I would make an exception in this case!
I don't think I could abort because I'd like to hope that if it was the other way around the women wouldn't abort my baby. It would still be a hard decision either way!
I'm touched that the woman is going to "grow" and give the baby to the family. I remember reading somewhere that because of her age she will not be able to do IVF and carry another pregnancy through. I think she said she would try to find someone to carry her baby.
I keep wondering if the baby's mother could/would carry the "surrogate's" embryo. This way they'd just do a baby swap after the babies are born. Not that this would be an easy solution either.
The clinic definitely should be paying a lot to both families.
I think it's made even more complicated by the fact that in the woman's previous pregnancies she developed HELLP and delivered super early... so not only was it a choice about whether to carry someone else's baby, but whether to do so at possible risk to her own life. Really tough call.
I know with her risk of HELLP it must have been a terrible decision. I don't think, knowing the pain of infertility, that I could abort. I admire her courage.
I would make darn sure that doctor had to pay for future cycles with a surrogate, and get a great lawyer to make sure that happened.
Mareike,
I first wanted to THANK YOU for joining in the guest post marathon. And again, thank you for being such a great hostess to me this weekend.
We already discussed this, but I still wanted to comment "out loud" here on the blog.
I am pro life. I believe an abortion is a woman's choice. A choice I couldn't probably never make, but a choice nonetheless. In this situation, it wasn't her choice. It was the choice of the other woman. It was NOT her baby to decide to abort. So she did the right thing. Something so selfless, yet the only right thing to do. I commend this woman and my heart goes out to all parties involved.
I would carry the baby to term but that clinic would refund all moneys to the other couple and me. They would also be covering all cost of a surrogate for any future procreative attempts by me.
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