Saturday, October 3, 2009

Saturday's Guest Blogger ... Mareike!

Many of you have likely heard about this: A couple in Ohio elected to have a fourth child using their frozen embryos. On the day they learned that the woman was pregnant they also learned that another couple's embryos had been implanted. They had the option of aborting the fetus but elected to carry the baby boy to term and then hand him over to his biological parents.

I'm interested in all of your thoughts on this. Could you do this? Would you, after going through so much to conceive a child, abort a viable fetus if you learned it was not yours?

15 comments:

GeekByMarriage said...

I would not abort but I promise you I'd own that clinic soon after the birth. I'm not a sue happy person but I'd sue the stethoscope off that doctor.

sharon said...

I would have the baby.

I would hope that I could be as brave as that couple. Handing that baby boy to his parents was heroic - the right thing to do, but still heroic.

Erin said...

At this point, I don't think I could ever have an abortion. Maybe if I had never had a m/c or seen a baby that grew inside of me I would have a different answer. I agree that I would own that place though. I can't even imagine the civil damages that would be awarded if you had parents on that jury...

mommybird said...

I could never abort any baby. Just because it's not mine doesn't mean it's not a living baby that deserves a chance. I agree with the previous comments though, I would own that clinic in the end.

Robin said...

I couldn't abort the fetus. I'd feel too guilty about the innocence of the baby and I'd feel terrible for the other family whose baby it is.

I guess I would have to hope that I could get pregnant again, next time with my own embryo. What a heartbreaking situation for both families.

Sarah R said...

I wouldn't be able to abort either. I would probably have the baby, and if the bio parents wanted him/her back, like they did in this case, I would surrender the baby. And yes, I'd sue the doctor. It's a very emotional thing--carrying a baby for 9 months and then not even being able to keep it!

Hollie said...

This is a touching and heartwarming but chilling story. If that makes any sense... I don't think I could have an abortion, but it sure would be hard to hand over that baby. I would do it, but I know I would be forever changed. A big part of my soul would be missing.

I hope she gets a big massive sum of money from that clinic. I'm wondering if we signed a clause stating we wouldn't sue if the clinic did that. I don't think so. I hope she gets to sue, get rich, and then go somewhere else, do IVF, have babies, and never have to work again.

jenn said...

This has been in my mind lately as i have offered (should they ever want it) to be my sister's GS. Granted- that is a completely different situation where you have the knowledge in the decision stage that you are not keeping the baby you are carrying.
I don't know if I could be as strong as the couple in the news. I do know I would find it nearly impossible to abort after carrying my daughter. But to hand the baby over after 9 months, that I can not even begin to fathom.
I ~do~ agree with everyone else in that I would sue the pants & ass off the clinic. I am very anti-sue happy culture we seem to have- but I would make an exception in this case!

Jennifer said...

I don't think I could abort because I'd like to hope that if it was the other way around the women wouldn't abort my baby. It would still be a hard decision either way!

I'm touched that the woman is going to "grow" and give the baby to the family. I remember reading somewhere that because of her age she will not be able to do IVF and carry another pregnancy through. I think she said she would try to find someone to carry her baby.

I keep wondering if the baby's mother could/would carry the "surrogate's" embryo. This way they'd just do a baby swap after the babies are born. Not that this would be an easy solution either.

The clinic definitely should be paying a lot to both families.

Nic said...

I think it's made even more complicated by the fact that in the woman's previous pregnancies she developed HELLP and delivered super early... so not only was it a choice about whether to carry someone else's baby, but whether to do so at possible risk to her own life. Really tough call.

MrsSpock said...

I know with her risk of HELLP it must have been a terrible decision. I don't think, knowing the pain of infertility, that I could abort. I admire her courage.

I would make darn sure that doctor had to pay for future cycles with a surrogate, and get a great lawyer to make sure that happened.

nancy said...

Mareike,

I first wanted to THANK YOU for joining in the guest post marathon. And again, thank you for being such a great hostess to me this weekend.

We already discussed this, but I still wanted to comment "out loud" here on the blog.

I am pro life. I believe an abortion is a woman's choice. A choice I couldn't probably never make, but a choice nonetheless. In this situation, it wasn't her choice. It was the choice of the other woman. It was NOT her baby to decide to abort. So she did the right thing. Something so selfless, yet the only right thing to do. I commend this woman and my heart goes out to all parties involved.

Kristin said...

I would carry the baby to term but that clinic would refund all moneys to the other couple and me. They would also be covering all cost of a surrogate for any future procreative attempts by me.

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