Sunday, February 3, 2008

irony. and bad manners.

heh.

So I have a rant that I just can't take any more BFP announcements from anyone who hasn't been trying for more than a year. And do you know how someone responded to me? She told me about her BFP.

lol.

That's so funny. And she's got NO IDEA what a rude person she just made herself out to be. She's all excited. heh. (she's super young though, what else could I expect out of her?)


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OMG! The webmd "moderator" took it down. Not hers - but mine. She told we should all be positive and support one another. But we (the ones who fail) aren't allowed to cry about how things are hard for us.

I'll bet you a thousand dollars. The webmd moderator " Dorothea" NEVER dealt with infertility. She would never EVER put up a response like the one she did if she understood how we felt. Wow. Looks like I won't be going back there. Freedom of speech is a biggie for me and Webmd is taking that away. I broke NO rule in my post. I did not speak ill of any other member. I spoke of my feelings about other bfps in general. (there were NO bfp announcements, except from that chick who felt it necessary to pick that moment to announce her bfp in response to my cries.).

Wow. I guess if you are on WebMD, you must just keep a smile on your face so none of the preggos who are "lurking" lose their warm and fuzzy feelings.

Hey WebMD, ever hear of the constitution? At least hold up your end of the bargain and let posts stay up that do NOT break your OWN predetermined rules. In 4 years of being on Webmd, I've seen a lot of "big brother" removing of posts. But never anything so blatently disgusting like "Dorothea" just did. She removed a post that followed every single rule they set forth.

33 comments:

nikkobaby1 said...

I hear ya Nancy. I was going to say more of what I thought about it, but chose not to. What's the point, they'll just delete 10 seconds later anyways. They must have nothing better to do than to take away our ability to vent.

nancy said...

I wasn't even talking about ANYONE! That chick you got the BFP announced it (in the most inappropriate way, mind you) after my vent.

So webmd wants us to make sure we we don't upset someone who hasn't even posted yet?

Ridiculous. I'm SO done with them.

Anonymous said...

So someone replied to your vent announcing their bfp?? I didn't even see a bfp announcement on there...did web md delete that, too?

Anonymous said...

I thought what that WebMD lady was saying was ridiculous. The whole point of the board is to be able to talk freely among all of the women there. There is nothing wrong with you venting. I'm so sorry that you are done with webmd. I will miss you. I know we didn't get to know each other that well, but I always liked reading what you had to say.

nancy said...

Anon - it had nothing to do with anyone announcing their BFP. I had just put up a post about how all the bfps "in the blogosphere" were hard for someone with failure to deal with. I wasn't complaining about anyone's BFP. Although as a reply to my post, someone announced her bfp.

Denise said...

I hate those stupid boards. I find blogging much more satisfying (oh yeah, and we get to be in control of what goes up on our own blogs!).

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Nancy. I really wish you wouldnt go because of the dumb moderator and some inconsiderate chick. I think I missed most of what went on, I saw your post but missed the BFP. I'm really going to miss all of your knowledge. I will keep checking out your blog and chart. Rooting for you always! Good luck w/everything.-JaymeN

Kim said...

A lot of IF boards are just like that, fake.

Once, a newbie (first month trying) was complaining about how she was embarassed to tell her friends/family that she got a BFN... that she had planned to get pregnant THAT month, that she had already bought maternity clothes, that she didn't know what to DO or what was WRONG with her, etc. I very kindly (seriously) told her that many of us there have tried and failed time and time again and that her (whining) rant was really very insensitive and completely premature. And it was removed, because that wasn't supportive. I said what needed to be said, though. And she needed to hear it, even though she chose not to respond. Maybe if she hasn't gotten a BFP by now (a year plus later), she has earned some bitching rights.

charmedgirl said...

RIDICULOUS. really, i can't stand message boards. so politically correct, in the most incorrect ways.

i know how hard it is...i may again soon...just keep swimming.

MDShamrocks07 said...

Wow, hun, I'm sorry. That's total bullshit. The girl who posted should be virtually kicked in the teeth and "Dorothea" should go have a nice time playing in traffic. WebMD has really gone to shit lately; I'm so glad I'm not there anymore. I think the best thing for you right now would not to be there either because they're totally not treating people fairly. Apparently their "old timers" aren't as valuable as the little teeny bopper newbies who come along and get a BFP in one cycle.

Let them have the newbies, you have people right here who care about you.

. said...

I just wanted to leave you a comment, you said you wanted people who blog...and I LOVE to blog! I read yours alot, when I have time and it puts alot of things in perspective when it comes to having a life outside of TTC. I hope things get better for you and good luck with your IVF!

~ Joe ♥ said...

Thats happened to me before,even though I didnt break any rule. I think if someone "reports" a post they just automatically take it down. Its really annoying, I've been distant from webmd for a little while now, to many annoyances for my bones.

jamie said...

Grrrr. How frustrating! I hate it when one thing that sucks is turned into another situation that sucks. It makes you feel like..ok just punch me in the face and get it over with already. It sounds like "dorathea" doesnt understand her job..boo on webmd! and boo to that bitch who posted her bfp at your vulnerable moment!

Jen said...

That's total crap, Nancy. I can't believe they deleted that and then tried shoving rainbows up everyone's ass. You are entitled to feel whatever you feel and vent about it. And if some gal inconsiderately replying about her BFP or some lurking preggos can't deal with it, tough shit. The WebMD mods should stay out of it.

joyous melancholy said...

Wow. It is unacceptable for someone to post their BFP in response to you saying you can't take it anymore, and I can not even imagine what went through that moderator's mind to delete the post and chastise *you* for it. How are you supposed to find support if you can't be honest about how you're feeling? That's BS.

I found iVillage to be a good source of support. The site itself is tedious and heavy, slow to load, but the women on it are wonderful and supportive. They have an IF Support Board, and a TTC 6+ Months board. And a policy that rarely, if ever, allows anyone to delete your posts. Just thought I'd let you know, if you were in the market for a new board.

((((((((HUGS))))))))

jamie said...

lol...rainbows up everyones ass that is hilarious!

Wordgirl said...

I had to laugh about the 'shoving rainbows up everyone's ass' thing...because before I started a blog of my own I was using Fer.tility Fri.end -- and though I did, of course, find lots of wonderful things...and a link to this blog community which was INVALUABLE...but there was lots of young, newly trying...not always as aware of self and others as you'd like...and I just found that I never felt very good exiting those communities -- regardless of all the very quick and immediate expressions of love and affection -- which always creeps me out a little anyway.

Good RIDDANCE.

Your blog rocks anyway...we won't censor you!

Pam

bleu said...

I would report the moderator. I have been to places with renegade mods and it is a pain in the ass. The twit who did the announcement is just that a thoughtless twit.
I do not do webmd but I am so sorry you have had to deal with this.

KatieM said...

Hehehe, I responded saying I would LOVE to share your feelings as well...that got erased too, lol. Maybe it was the 1984 reference I threw in there? Hmmm...is having a discontent for webMD in general against the rules too? =P

Io said...

WTF? That is bullshit! I stopped going on ttc boards except the ivf ones because of chicks who didn't get it, but that the *moderator* would then take your comment off because *it* was insensitive?!
I want to kick this Dorothea's ass.

Morgan said...

We should go on a blog strike against WebMD and make a post about it on everyones blog and protest them deleting posts..this has happened to me SEVERAL times so i know exactly what you mean! Sorry Nancy, fuck WebMD and Dorthea (she was the one who deleted some other ones too)

Nic said...

That is completely rotten that they took your post down. It definitely sounds like you didn't say anything untoward at all.

WRT BFP lady, is it at all possible that the two of you cross-posted? That has happened to me on occasion when I take a little while to write a message board post, that a couple of others will post in the meantime, sometimes making mine seem out of context.

Searching said...

I'd be pretty ticked off about that too.

Sorry it's just been a craptastic sort of life for you the past few days. :( Keeping my fingers crossed for March!

Kgrimm819 said...

Nancy, that is such bullshit. WebMD has really went to shit. If you noticed all of the TTCAS ladies left. Go to cafemom, where you have control of what gets deleted. ((HUGS)) I am so sorry all of this has happened to you. It is just horrible, how someone can annouce a BFP in a vent about BFPs, and then to have your freedom of speech taken from you.

SaraS-P said...

This is why I hate message boards. No one will delete your blog posts but you (unless you break Blogger's rules, I guess).

I CANNOT STAND the notion that all must be warm and fuzzy. If this was a group session I was running, I'd remind Dorothea that we must discuss all feelings, especially the negative ones, because someone else likely feels the same way and needs to know they are not alone.

elephantscanremember said...

I hear you. I too am tired of the new members, and some that have been trying for only X amount of time griping and whining about why they haven't gotten pregnant. And they ask for HELP AND TIPS! IF WE KNEW, WE'D BE KNOCKED UP OURSELVES!!! And they throw "baby dust" around freely after they get their bfps. A lot of good that stuff does. I even got some with my Preseed once, and I still didn't get pregnant. Ugh.

Sorry, I did got off topic, but it is aggravating, nonetheless.

And the boards have changed a lot.

Anonymous said...

Venting is venting no matter what. Everyone has a right to do it. Whether they are on their 3rd or 2oth cycle. No one thinks it's going to take long to get pg so yes they may be frustrated when it takes longer than they expected. Think back to when you first started TTC. Tell me you didn't start wondering around 8 or 9 months whether something was wrong with you or not. Maybe nothing is wrong with them, maybe there is. It is really not up to you who can complain or worry.

However, I do think it was pretty shitty that she announced her BFP to THAT particular post.

tragicoptimist said...

Wow, how "supportive" of the mod to remove a post where you're venting and in need of support. Ugh. To hell with that. I imagine that the Webmd board could really benefit from your insight.

Duck said...

I hear ya Nancy, I'm not on your IF board, but I do hear you on how some boards are really weird.

I honestly do think that there is a big difference in ttc for 6 months and ttc for 6 years. But that's me, I'm not politically correct.

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't WebMD set up a "real" IF board? That might help. I think the 6 months still trying isn't really an IF board...is it? I remember you posting Nancy before about creating a separate board for 12+ months or something like that. Maybe that would help.

I can say, though, that everyone is excited about their BFP...and I'm wondering where they should post it. OBVIOUSLY NOT in response to someone being upset about not getting one, but there does need to be a place for them too.

I hope IVF does it Nancy and you get that little boy. :) I still hope for a little girl someday, but I can't convinved DH yet, so it might just be 2 for me.

nancy said...

oh - i totally think BFPs should be announced. There were just so many lately, I had just vented about how more would break my heart (there hadn't been any for a week or so, so it wasn't like I was saying this in response to any one person).

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

I missed responding to this????

OK, never too late:

It's total bullshit. TOTAL. You didn't call anyone a whore or tell them personally to go to hell. You were venting a totally normal frustration that all of us have.

The world isn't sunshine and lollypops and it bugs the freakin' hell out of me when people try to create the illusion that it is.

trisha said...

I think both things should be allowed. WEBMD are Nazis, which is why we all left as well. I think BPFs and BFN should both be allowed on the board with no issues. THat mod sounds like a bitch.