Monday, July 21, 2008

I'm a little chatty today

So I'm going to combine some of the individual posts.

~ Did you know 75% of baby's with down's don't survive in utero? I didn't. (due to abnormalities that don't allow for survival, like heart defects).

~ Here is the music to go along with my "prayer to god" post. There are lots of videos on youtube that show shellac live, but this is from the album: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxbTRh1o_RU

~ I miss much san diego punk rock like drive like jehu. I was just listening to ipod on shuffle and came upon this little ditty from pitchfork (pre-drive like jehu) and amazing how I can find comfort in other's angst:

I'm in a boat. There's a hole in the bottom. And my oars. Have floated away.

I'm bailing my boat. With both of my hands now. To keep my head. Above the waves.

Salt on my hide. Pennies on my eyes.

I've lived my life in this ol' boat. And all this time I've kept afloat. But I'm treading water now.

And I'm wondering how. How it feels to drown. I'm sinking.

Way down.

21 comments:

Morgan said...

Wow, that's a high statistic. I didn't even know they had a higher chance of dieing in utero than one without Downs. That's freakin crazy.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea of that either!

--Kristin

BethH6703 said...

Woman! You know I love you, but you HAVE to stop doing this to yourself. Please, for the love of all things holy - and your sanity - step away from Dr. Google! PLEASE!?!

nancy said...

beth, it's simply how i work. i need to know ~everything~ there is to know about a situation for me to be able to understand it all. All my googling has actually calmed me a bit. I have found some scary things, but I've also found some very valid reasons WHY my levels could be where they are (weird implantation and implanting on tissue that was once scar tissue). So really, i'm more calm now than ever before.

fuentes said...

Nancy does that number include both "natural"/"spontaneous abortions" and elective abortions?

My3sons said...

nancy - i can only imagine what is going through your mind right now. Try to focus on the percent chance your baby will NOT have downs. hang in there. I'll be thinking about you.

nancy said...

It does not include elective abortions.

I have been reading a lot about downs and first thing to mention, I only read medical sites. I don't read just anything on the internet.

So, from one of these sites, they mentioned how only 25% of downs baby's survive due to abnormalities by the aspect of simply having downs. Some abnormalities are so severe, the baby simply doesn't make it to birth. ie: many downs babies have heart defects.

nancy said...

Q - I really, really am trying. Really.

Jen said...

Just saw your news about the increased Down's risk. I'm sorry that the risk got higher rather than getting lower. The risk is still very low, but I know that does very little to prevent any mom from worrying. Hang in there, and hopefully you'll get more reassuring news at some point (preferably soon) in the future.

docgrumbles said...

I actually know that Down's often leads to miscarriage because of my teaching topics, like developmental disabilities. My students are often surprised, too.

And... do remember that your odds are much higher of NOT having a baby with Down's. I'd be freaking, too, but I feel I am supposed to bring up the stats.

jenn said...

I think blogger ate my comment, but I wish I had internet or phone access tomorrow, but I am serving in a jury. But I will be thinking about you & praying for good news & that the stats really are in your favor.

{{{hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

Nancy, my child had a 1 in 42 % chance of having down's. She is just fine. Your baby will be too. Have faith.

Lilith Silvermane said...

*hugs*

Just lots of hugs until you know.

Poltzie said...

Nancy,
Wishing you lots of luck with all the testing.
I read a blog and the author is a mother of four, whose youngest son has downs. Here is the link, in case you are interested. It's quite a funny blog and she also has an awesome store, with handmade kids clothing, (Kelly Ripa's son was recently wearing one of her shirts)!
Cheers,
http://therockingpony.blogspot.com/

theclam said...

Wow, I never knew that... Keep on trying to focus on the chance that your baby does not have downs...

HUGS to you Nancy!

Anonymous said...

Nancy--have faith! You were certain that IVF had not been successful--and it was! You were certain you were miscarrying--and you did not. You now have 55/56 chance that your baby will be FINE.

Positive thinking! No more drama...

nancy said...

Heather, I apologize for not knowing the correct terminology. I'm new to this. I simply said it for ease of writing, not defining the child as a disability. And I totally understand where you are coming from with your sister. Once that baby is here, it'll still be the joy of my life. It's just this initial shock and knowledge it's not going to be "genetically normal". I'm sure your parents took it as a shock at first too, but then again, they probably didn't know until she was born and the blessing of the baby's birth accounted for a lot of joy. I think there is a big difference between finding out before and at the birth. With the birth, you ~have~ that miracle in your arms and I'm sure you just wouldn't care/be shocked as much as before.

To anyone else who keeps saying "Look at how many odds you beat already!". Yes, I have. And I probably will beat these odds too. But, honestly, we don't know that right now. Someone has to fall into the 1.8% odds.

Anon - You have this happen to you and then tell yourself "no drama". THEN you can tell it to me. Thanks for the good wishes though. 55/56 ~is~ good odds.

Sarah R said...

Good luck today, Nancy! The first thing I thought of when I got up today was you. I thought of how stressed you must be (you probably didn't sleep much last night), how anxious you must be, and how anxious you will be waiting for the results.

I completely understand that you can't be 100% positive. Whenever there is an increased possibility of something bad happening, one can't help but think about it.

I am not religious AT ALL (I'm more agnostic than anything) but it's times like these that I beg for everything to go all right. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope everything is all right with your little baby. :)

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

My heart and mind are with you today...

I'm not going to pretend that bad things don't happen or that everything will be fine.

I WILL say that, as one of the biggest bad-asses I have ever encountered in life, you'll end up OK. And I know you know that. But the rest of us are here to bear witness to it.

Ally said...

I don't have anything spectacular to say other than, hang in there and I'm praying for you and your fam!

My3sons said...

(hugs) I'm here, as always.