The skills THAT pay the bills.

I have a topic for this post, but first, a couple of random things ...

~ You guys know I'm pretty sarcastic, right? I hope you all didn't think prison was a real possibility I was facing! I was just being a smartass.

~ One of my biggest english pet peeves is the misuse of the word "that". What pisses me off most though is, I am guilty of it ~all~ the time! Basically, "that" is a word which is a filler word. Take a sentence with the word "that" in it and re-read it without saying "that". If it makes sense, your "that" was simply filler.

Examples:
1) I was given a list of names that matched the one I was looking for. -- If you remove "that", the sentence doesn't make sense so it's okay to be left in.
2) I explained to him that the fish didn't smell good. -- If you remove "that", the sentence would read "I explained to him the fish didn't smell good." See? Filler.

When someone asks me to read something to see if it sounds okay, I usually always find filler "that"s. Sticks out like a sore thumb to me. Yet, I type with it all the time. I rarely proof read my blog. RARELY. But when I do, I'll find filler "that"s everywhere. It's terrible.

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Now for my main topic.

My friend Katie left a comment on my other blog (listed in my profile) about daycare. it made me realize the one thing which I envy "young" mothers. The fact they have not yet started, or have barely just begun, their careers.

Staying at home to raise my children was really never even an option to me. Not because of the money (although it would have been the 2nd biggest factor), but because of my career.

If I ever would have chosen to stay at home, it would have been temporary. Just until the kids were all in school - not for their entire 18 years. It would have been to avoid daycare and to watch their little minds and bodies develop in those first 5 years. But after they were in school, I know I would have needed to work.

This means, I would need to re-enter the workforce.

My line of work wouldn't be as easy to re-enter as some others. Just thinking off the top of my head, careers like writer / sales / baker would be easier to re-enter. Sure, they would have to keep up on their skills, but leaving for a few years wouldn't make them obsolete. I am, however, in the world of IT.

In 2004, I was 31 when I had Ella and I had been working in my career for over 6 years. My youngest child will be born in 2009. Once that child enters kindergarten, it will be Fall 2014. I will be 41 years old.

How hard would it be to re-enter the world of IT at 41 years old? I would be competing for jobs with 22 year old college hires. I would receive the salary of a college hire too.

My earning ability would be drastically diminished. From 1998 to 2008, working at the same company, my salary has increased 257%. Two hundred and fifty seven percent. It near tripled. Had I decided to stay at home, I probably would have calculated losing my 1998 income for 10 years. If I were to take apply the increase in equal increments over those 10 years, I would have missed a tad over $220,000 ~more~ of lost income, as this is the amount of the increases only, ~not~ the 10 years of my 1998 income.

I am honestly worried for those women who ~want~ to re-enter their careers who make the decision to stay at home to raise their children. I've read so much on the subject - how hard and sometimes impossible it is to get back to where they were or to even get back in at all. So many of these women end up losing themselves in a way if they are unable to find their way back to their career. The aspect of finding yourself obsolete is even worse for mothers who stay home until their youngest child goes off to college. For me, my youngest will go off to college when I'm 55. Too young to retire yet too old to start a career.

This is just what I was thinking about tonight. The aspect of having part of my identity, mm being a career woman, being taken away from me.

Please don't think I'm wrapping the entire subject of staying at home up with the ability for a mother to have a career once she's "done" being a mother. Many women who choose to stay home have gladly traded in their career woman identity for "mother", plain and simple. The career aspect doesn't have to be filled again because it has been full the entire time. These women are completely content with having their full time career be "Mom". It's just not for me. "Mom" is definitely the most important aspect of my identity, but it's not nearly my only one.

Again, this is ~not~ an anti-stay-at-home post. It's a "can I return to my career after staying at home" post.

I think it's really unfair for those moms who want it both ways. They want to stay at home for awhile ~and~ get back into their careers. Most of our country's businesses are just not set up for it. I guess I don't mean "set up", but more like businesses don't care. Today's business owner should accept women returning to the workforce as an asset, not a liability. Yes, some extra training may be necessary but these returning to work mothers can be a huge benefit.