To the one true God above, here is my prayer. (Not the first you've heard, but the first I wrote. Not the first, but the others were a long time ago.) There are two people here, and I want you to kill them.
Her - she can go quietly, by disease or a blow. To the base of her neck, where her necklaces close. Where her garments come together, where I used to lay my face. That's where you oughta kill her, in that particular place.
Him - just fucking kill him, I don't care if it hurts. Yes I do, I want it to, fucking kill him but first. Make him cry like a woman, no particular woman, let him hold out hope that someone or other might come.
Then fucking kill him. Fucking kill him. Kill him already, kill him. Fucking kill him, fucking kill him. Kill him already, kill him. Fucking kill him, fucking kill him. Kill him already, kill him. Just fucking kill him. Fucking kill him. Fucking kill him already, kill him. Ah Fucking kill him, fucking kill him! Kill him already, kill him! Kill him already, kill him already! Kill him, fucking kill him! Just fucking kill him, fuckin kill him! Kill him already, kill him! Fuckin kill him, kill him! Fucking kill him already, kill him!
Kill him, fucking kill him. Kill him, just fucking kill him. Kill them already, kill them already, Kill him.
Amen.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
(515)
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July
(46)
- I'm leaving on a jet plane
- IUI question for anyone to answer
- I almost just got into a serious accident.
- Oh I get it. I'm chopped liver now, eh?
- It just didn't come together.
- End of weekend already?
- A Braces Bunch Shout Out
- Finally Friday! Yipee!
- Ha! You thought I got off, eh?
- Well, slap my ass and call me Nancy.
- No, no call yet.
- waiting, waiting, waiting.
- I hate rollercoasters.
- A request for some major support.
- And now we wait. And a big WHOA!
- I'm a little chatty today
- Monday update.
- "Prayer To God"
- What kind of a person are you?
- I'm really scared.
- I'm behind.
- The day got weirder and weirder
- Spent last hour in police station.
- Psst ... Any first timers out there ...
- "All babies look like boys at 12 weeks".
- All because I'm AMA
- Happy Anniversary to Us!
- I don't get it. Really.
- It's temporary
- The skills THAT pay the bills.
- The news no one wants to receive.
- RESOLVED!!!
- Can't sleep.
- ~StrEsSed oUt~
- Anonymous Comments.
- My new ink.
- Musings on a Sick Day
- I've turned them off.
- 1 year maternal leave
- Wasn't that just dandy? (question at the end) - up...
- Let's get some people riled up.
- Canned Spam.
- psst.
- Crooked Teeth.
- Thank you MrsSpock
- too much coffee.
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July
(46)
16 comments:
Bonus points to anyone who knows that.
No bonus points here! I don't think that I have seen the word fucking written that many times in one place.
LOL
The writer was ~really~ angry.
I cheated. :P
Wow, that's an impressive use of the "F" word. Just wanted to send a sincere thank you for your comment to my friend Yaz. I hope things calm down for you and the family with happy news. (Hug)
Wow!! All I can say is....Amen sista~
WOW. I hope everything works out with the tests. I am sure everyting is okay. Hugs!
Man I don't want to get on your bad side, girl! I've never seen such a heart-felt prayer! (and I am NOT being sarcastic...)
All righty then. That guy is whack.
No bonus points here! Sjoe, you were cross... hope that helped get it out though...
Nancy - For whatever is causing you this anger, I'm sorry for it. I hope that you are ok. It worries me to see so much anger, but maybe you just needed an outlet to express your feelings.
I have no idea how to respond to this post. I'm amused and...scared? at the same time? Hope everything is okay with you.
Shellac- Prayer to God for a minute i thought that was you talking!!!lol that is a woman scorned prayer!!!!
No, it's a man scorned. The sing (steve albini) reportedly wrote it when working on that album, his then-wife cheated on him.
lol just so know know i just read the post above and seen you put the name in the post but i swear i read it after i googled the lyrics and answered this post.lol
oh ok look at me assuming its funny how many ppl thought that was you writing that!!!lol including me!!!
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