Thursday, December 11, 2008

I think that about covers it.

~Thank You~ for taking all the time to answer me. I think I got enough answers where I'm not seeing any "new" info anymore.

So I know what to so about the anesthesia and I understand about feeling tugging/pulling. I understand recovery. I understand when I can breastfeed (and really, not afraid of not bonding or not breastfeeding - that's always happened for us. Even after a vaginal birth, I only have baby for like an hour and then baby is taken away for a few hours, so I can deal.) I understand when I get to eat and drink. I understand my restrictions. I understand pooping afterwards can be a big deal. I understand I should get up as soon as I can and to take my pain medications.

The thing I do ~not~ like is the fact my husband will be in charge of the baby while I could be hours in recovery. NOT that I mind him having the baby first. I have absolutely ~no~ issue with this. None at all. I think it would be great for him to get the experience of "bonding first". Being a breastfeeding mother, I get to feel this wonderful thing with the baby (that makes it sound like I think formula feeding mothers don't bond. Totally didn't mean it like that.) and I see nothing more special for him to get to hold and even feed (if necessary) the baby first. It's okay.

But here's the thing. My husband is what you would call a Mamma's boy. He's an only child and his mother treats him as an only child. Still, to this day, he's the most important thing in her life. Which, I get. I do. I wish they both didn't fit into this stereotype, but I also knew what I was getting into when I married him. It wasn't some secret I had pounced on me after the wedding.

I come from a large family that simply isn't that close. I talk to my mom and dad all the time, sure, but I feel they are part of our "extended" family and Tom feels his parents are part of our "immediate" family. So things are hard for me, as they are hard for him. For instance, holidays, to me, are for immediate family. So for Tom, this includes his parents without a second thought. For me? I feel somewhat "intruded" upon. IE: Christmas. I think Christmas, now we have children, should be spent at home. I feel we should wake up and have our immediate family have Christmas morning together, alone. After a small celebration alone, I welcome extended family with open arms. Tom, on the other hand, wants to wait for his parents to come over to start any celebration. It's a small issue with us but we try to accommodate one another. I'm opening up to traveling for Christmas half the time, but the other half, I want "my" Christmas. But his parents simply are coming here. Like I said, I welcome them totally. They really are awesome in so many ways, but I still want a special time with just my husband and children. I don't even need to have an entire Christmas morning alone - but maybe the Santa presents alone with us. Then they are welcome. Tom is having a hard time understanding this, but he is at least accepting I feel differently.

Now that is explained, having him "in charge" of who gets to see the baby while I'm in recovery has me a little anxious. I have already told him I want him to keep everyone (including my family) away until I get my time. It makes me what to burst out and cry to think of anyone except Tom and medical staff spending any amount of time with the baby before I get my turn. And I know Tom. He'll be ~so~ proud and of course will want to share this moment with the people who mean the most to him.

And here is where I explain what I'm actually anxious about. If his mother does get to cuddle with my son for a good amount of time before me, I may hear about it for the rest of my life. Now, I don't think she does things like this on purpose, but she tends to bring up things that "hurt" me time and time again for years and years (because she thinks it's funny, not to actually hurt me). For example - She showed me a ring of her mother's one time. When she brought it out, she herself used a tone like she thought it was too much (like 15 large diamonds all grouped together). She made it seem like she thought this ring was just too much and looked for my agreement. So I stupidly said I agreed it was, in fact, "gaudy". But I thought I was only agreeing with her. Yes, my mistake. But apparently she loves this ring and now, for the last 10 years, every time she wears it, she tells everyone in the room how I called this precious ring "gaudy". I think she thinks it's just funny and doesn't know it hurts my feelings. I've tried to explain, but she hasn't gotten it. Nor does my husband defend me (not because he won't defend me, but he just doesn't see it how I see it. If I point it out to him, he'll be understanding of me feeling bad and he'll apologize and hug me and try to make me feel better, but bringing it up to her isn't something he'd do. It's part of the dichotomy between ~their~ only child and mother relationship.) So, back to baby. If she gets baby "first", I may hear about how she got the baby first, well, forever. She'll be proud to have had this special moment and she'll want to share it. But since it's something which is so important to me, it'll sting my heart to hear about it.

You see my issue now? I don't want to put my husband in an awkward position. I know not to put my husband in a power struggle between me and his mom. Yes, he would not put his mom before me in something I feel is important to me - he is married to me, not his mom - put it would bother him to have to do. I try take into consideration how important his mom is to him, so I normally wouldn't ask him of something of this nature. Nor is it something I have ever had to deal with as my mom would never even think to ask to hold the baby before me. His mom would simply expect to have this role and wouldn't see anything wrong with it. And really, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, it's just ~different~ than how I was raised. We simply grew up in differently. My parents raised me in a very "let her go and let her live her life" way and although they allowed him to be very independent, they were also very involved. So where I feel smothered, Tom simply sees a family that loves him. This ideology is very hard to explain to him because he just does ~not~ understand why I wouldn't want to have more LOVE from family. But to me, it's not about not wanting love, it's not that at all. As much as he sees "his way" as a good thing, I need him to see "my way" as a good thing. Maybe a compromise can be made in that ~if~ I get to have baby for a time right after birth, he can bring them in to introduce them for a few minutes. Just because I have a different way of feeling about this, I know it doesn't mean I need to get my way 100% either.

I'm very lucky to have parents of my own who I think rule and to have in laws who are so awesome. I know this. But as with any situation, it's usually not perfect. We'll work through it though. This situation is just going to cause me a lot of anxiety.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish I had some wisdom to share, but unfortunately, that's not the case. I, too, went through the same thing with the birth of my first child nine years ago, but unlike you, I had no advance warning that I was going to be put to sleep for the delivery and therefore had not thought through all the possibilities that could ensue.

Because my delivery was complicated by several factors, I didn't wake up enough to see and hold the baby until HOURS later. By then, she'd been passed around the entire family while I slept the night away.

I'd like to say that I've gotten over it, but there's still a part of me that really resents the fact that my mother-in-law dressed her the first time, changed her diaper for the first time, gave her the first bottle, you name it.

If there's ANY way possible to help your husband understand just how important this is to you, then do it. Even if it means showing him what you've written and how deeply you feel about spending time with your son before he is introduced to the rest of the world.

Wishing you an easy delivery and a fat, healthy baby!

margelina said...

Oh, do I get it. My son is an only child, he acts the same way with his mom. Ugh.
Let me say that your nurses can be your biggest advocates here. Before a C-section, when they are monitoring you and doing the IV, you will meet everybody before hand that you will encounter during and after surgery, and there will be your baby nurse. She can make it a "rule" that no family until mom has had baby. My hospital won't allow anyone other that hubby in the recovery room due to the germs/lack of privacy factor. The only real reason your baby wouldn't be with you right away would be if he needs special attention like suctioning,ect right away. If that's the case, it's done in the nursery where only dad is allowed to be. At my hospital, the OR and nursery are on different floors, so no one but a nurse can actually move the baby about, anyway, due to the baby alarms/locked down floors for safety.
Don't worry too much about this.
I bet Karl will be with you right away!!

Anonymous said...

Long time reader...first time poster. I had a spinal during my c-section, which is probably what you will be getting. After delivery, DH went with the baby to the nursery while they cleaned her up. I stayed in surgery for placental removal/sew up. After that I went to recovery. I was the only one in there. I was there maybe half an hour with a nurse, getting settled etc., then DH came into recovery with our daughter. I spent the whole recovery just me, DH, and our new daughter. No one else. It was a wonderful time to bond as a new family. So, just because you are in recovery doesn't mean you can't have the baby with you. I couldn't nurse of course, but I could hold her (with help from DH and nurses).

ssbean said...

Well, I completely see your concern, and now I have the same concern when I have my baby. My husband is his mom and dad's only child. He is like 10yrs younger than than his mom's daughter. So, he is the baby, but kind of the only. His older siblings 36-42yrs old see him as a baby, and never really saw him grown. Because of all of his family seeing him as a boy, it's really affected his personality and well, in some ways prevented him from growing up. Like you, it wasn't some big surprise. But, his mom is similar to your mother in law. I also worry about my over bearing mother who really doesn't know when something is "inappropriate." I think I worry about my mom bursting in and taking over.

I haven't been through this whole birthing thing, but isn't it up to you and your husband when whoever gets to see the baby. Can't it be in writing, in the form of parents request/orders before you even deliver, saying that until both you and your husband say it's ok, nobody other than medical staff can hold him.

You've got me thinking though. I may have to put my foot down and tell close family my feelings towards this. I want my husband and I to be the first to hold her, not everybody else. It would be like a knife stabbing through my heart to know that others got to hold her and bond before we did. Share your concern with your doctor or talk to somebody in the hospital before you go into labor. See if there is anything you can sign or something to keep others away until you get your time. That's my only idea. Let us know if there is something that can be done.

nancy said...

Sherry, of course I can make the rule. But my point is having to put my husband in the position to have to enforce something that he may not necessarily agree with.

Peeveme said...

That is such a tough situation and you did a great job explaining it. I think more like you. Extended family is so very important but I also need some private moments.

IN fact, I know this may sound werid to most people but I didn;t have anyone come the the hospital. Noone. I dont want them there. I was a mess. I wasin pain. We had so much to do with all the forms and tests I even asked people to stay away until I said we were ready for guests. I just needed the time to be with my baby without anyone else there. I don't think it's weird or mean or selfish. It's about your needs and baby's needs and everyone else is secondary. Even Dh is secondary.

I have no idea how to better express yourself to DH. This may be one of those time when you have to put you foot down.

Again, this is abotu you and baby and everyone else needs to step back and let you do what you need to do. I realize everyone is excited and wants to be involved and feel special. But their needs must be secondary.

Kate said...

another long time reader, first time poster... this post hit really close to home, altho in my case its MY mom who will be chomping at the bit to hold my babies first (twins & the firt grandkids on either side). She's so excited i can barely contain her from making our baby registry for us. I love her & in general she is not an overbearing person, but she's so excited about grandkids she's gone a bit crazy.

The thought of some one other than me or DH holding my kids first is the thing that most terrifies me about a c-section. I do plan on telling DH that NO ONE except for him & medical staff can hold, feed, diaper, or do anything with the kids before me, & am comtemplating (like Peeveme) on asking all family & friends to stay away from the hospital until I am out of recovery, we've had some private family time & are ready for visitors.

I wish I had a solution to this, but mostly I just wanted to comiserate! I know how stressful this is, & I hope you can figure out something with your husband that will work for both of you!

Kaci said...

I think it's great you are trying to be sensitive to your husband in how you handle this, BUT I think this is a completely appropriate time to insist he follow your wishes, even if it makes him uncomfortable. I'm sorry you have to deal with the anxiety, but I hope you find a way to convince him or find a compromise you are both happy with. I don't know, I would be queen bitch in this case and to hell with hubby's discomfort.

I'll stick to hoping Karl turns and this is a non-issue. ;)

Jewels said...

I would totally be on edge - especially knowing that if push came to shove - I'd get ugly, but I agree, I would NOT want my MIL introducint my son to me. NO that's my job to introduce my son to them.
But finding a tactful - graceful way to explain so they listen - ugh, it would be so hard, especially if they went against your wishes when the day came.

Jewels said...

P.S.
Karl? Would you just turn your little butt around?

Sarah R said...

I finally caught up with your blog now--wow! Good luck!

-----------

I just wanted to personally thank you for your comment on my blog. It made me feel immensely better. :)

Sara said...

I'm not sure it has anything to do with the fact that he's her only child, just that he's her SON. lol

anyway, where Tom would be in a tough (for him) situation, the nurse could be the one to tell his mom of the rule. it would then be put on the nurse, and later could be thought of as hospital policy. Its not unheard of, and I'm sure your in-laws wouldnt give it a second thought. I completely know where you're coming from, as I'm sure most wives do. I just try to think about the day I'm the MIL....

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents here, for what it is worth. I have had 1 natural birth and 2 c-section births. The natural birth ended up being very distressing due to my MIL's actions. Needless to say, with the c-sections I was more assertive and she didn't have her way. Tell the nurses your wishes about her not seeing baby until you have had time with him and insist (assertively but nicely :)) that they respect this wish. It sounds like your DH is understanding when things are explained to him, and between that and informing the nurses about keeping MIL at bay there should not be an issue. I would just recommend speaking with the nurses from that dept. before the c-section.

Best of luck to you,
Grace

~Danielle said...

Nancy,
This is me coming out of lurking. Love your blog! I totally agree and can relate to your fear. My husband and I are having our first baby in January and I am SO VERY concerned that this very scenario will happen to me. My mother-in-law has actually made comments to her moving in and sleeping in the nusery with the baby. Ummm...no thank you. However, what has made me less freaked out about MIL holding baby before me were the OB nurses. We took a birthing class and the OB nurses told us that you simply need to let them know what you (mother of baby) want to happen. I specifically asked, does this include who can see the baby, etc if we have had a c-section? To which they replied absolutely. The nurses have no problems being the "bad guy" by simply letting whomever (mother-in-law, your mother, uncles, aunts, etc.) know that their time will come and right now you are in recovery and baby is in nusery. Hubby will get to accompany baby to nusery, etc and watch all that is happening but the nursing staff's main goal is to get the baby back to the mother as soon as possible because of the crucial alert period baby has right after birth (best for bonding, breastfeeding, etc.) This for me was a huge relief because I could envision my husband giving in to the demands of my mother-in-law (who I do love and adore) but hey, this is our moment and I am only willing to share it with my husband. So, I am going to be very clear with my husband and very clear with the nursing staff. I do believe we are entitled! :)

KatieM said...

I definitely understand where you are coming from as the thought of my MIL seeing and holding my child before me literally made my stomach turn before my C-sect. However, maybe your hospital policy will save the decision from having to be made, that way you aren't forcing Tom to choose.

For instance, in my hospital (and this is exactly how my recovery went) there is only one person allowed in recovery besides Mom (and if Dad is there, that is the limit) and baby isn't allowed to leave the recovery room with Dad....the only exception is if something medical came up and baby needed to be taken to nursery, but even then baby wouldn't be shown to family so the issue still doesn't arise OR if Mom opt's to have baby taken directly to nursery so she can recovery without him/her.

In my situation with no complications it was a total of 30 minutes from the time DH left the OR with Cullen to be taken to recovery(where Cullen is checked over again as well) and I was sitting up BFing him (I even sent you the picture, lol); and then I spent the entire time with him and was taken to my room an hour later with baby still in my arms where my family was anxiously waiting to see and hold him.

Did everyone else say it was HOURS before they were even allowed to see baby? Damn.....

hkleineweber said...

Nancy, I had 2 c-sections. The 1st one everyone got to hold him before I did. I wasn't to upset until we got home and I thought about it. It hurt that everyone got to hold my 1st born before me. The 2nd go round I informed the nurses and doctors that NOONE besides my DH and the hospital staff is to have contact with him. The nurses played ref for me. Even while in recovery they told me that they were holding everyone back for me. They were wonderful.

Jen said...

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I can't even imagine... But I so understand the feeling of you two wanting to be the first two family members to hold the baby.

I'm hoping you have an easy delivery and not before you want it!

Janet Phillips said...

im not sure if my previous comment went through or not, my computer freaked out...

before going in for the section tell your nurses your wishes AND have it in writing. tell your nurses that youd like to have karl in the recovery room with you. the nurses are used to having to be the bad person, so let them be, they can tell your mil and anyone else that there are no visitors until you (and only you) give the ok

Lilith Silvermane said...

Ok honey... I know you are pregnant, busy, ect... and I don't mind that you don't post all the time. I appreciate that you keep your self updated... so I can make sure you are alright!

Ok... I need your address sometime.. I wanna send you some stuff... or work address even.. I can send it there :)

Put your foot down, you are a very strong woman and amaze me all the time with what you say. I love that about you.

Make what you want happen, the last thing your hubby needs is an emotional, in pain woman trying to recover from a body ache and a broken heart from not getting to be with her newest little man. He needs to "make it happen"...

~hugs~ I'm here for ya!

Jen said...

I have to admit that one of the toughest parts of having a c section was getting the bonding time in. We had like 20 people show up for the delivery, and so they were all patiently waiting for a long time in outside. It took forever to get me stitched up and for the medical staff to get the baby stuff taken care of. So we actually had family back before I could even get a chance to hold her. I had to be a total bitch and tell them not to pick her up, etc because I hadn't even gotten a chance to hold her yet. Honestly, it was a bit upsetting. So if you're husband can be your gatekeeper and preserve that bonding time for you two, I recommend it.

Other than that, the C section was easy and the recovery was not bad. Of course I have no comparison!

Peeveme said...

OK I'm just shocked that everyone has people come to the hospital. I guess I'm weird here. I didn't want anyone there at all....not even after I got out of recovery. Nobody until we got home and even then we got to be alone for a day or two before my mom even came. The hospital is too crowded and busy and stressful. Plus, I'm ugly after labor and wearing a garment in which my ass hangs out.

Hope he turns on his own. A lot of this would become mute if he'd just turn.

Anonymous said...

Nancy, I can only put this one way to you:

If it makes you feel bad to put your husband in that position, then don't. Let the nurses do it.

That's what they are there for. They are concerned about YOU and your BABY, not pushy, overbearing EXTENDED family (and I see my pitiful excuse for a mother and my husband's as EXTENDED, my husband and children are my IMMEDIATE family).

Your nurses will do what you request. Heck, I didn't even make any requests (I just assumed they wouldn't give anyone my baby, I guess!) and the only person who touched Jake other than me after the c-section was my husband. Others got to ooh and ahh through the nursery window, but that was IT.

While I was recovering, they assessed him for a while, cleaned him up all nice and snug, and then brought him to me about 3.5 hours after he was born, and by this time I was alone, my husband had taken the other kids home and nobody else stayed either.

I had lots of bonding time with no interference.

I think you are 100% right on this. You are the one who has carried this baby, felt him move inside you, and you are the one who has to give birth and all that jazz.

I think that your wishes should be respected PERIOD.

Me, I'm not afraid to tell my husband how it is, but I'm lucky because he agrees with me. I told him and the nurses that I didn't want anyone "hanging out" in my room when I was in labor, and guess what--they made everyone's visit very, very brief and then showed them to the waiting area outside my room.

You'd be surprised, if you request a hands-off except for Daddy rule from your nurses, they'll comply.

Heck, they'll even make up plausible excuses as to why nobody else can hold him yet. And everyone, even MIL, will have to listen to them.

;)

Good luck with all that. I'm not one who likes people to butt in on personal experiences like that, either. 99% of the time I just want my husband and kids around me, and no one else. So I understand.

Steph
stephs_3_kidz

Jenera said...

I'm the one with the over bearing mother not my hubby. And it drives me nuts. It was really bad with Aidan but I can see it's going to be way worse with Sam-at least until my brother has his baby.

I'm terribly controlling on certain things and the whole delivery process was one of them. My mom was their for Aidan's birth but was at my house for Sam's (watching Aidan). I explained beforehand (and hurt her feelings somehow) that it was important that it just be me, the hubby, Aidan, and the baby at first. But for us, we had such a short time to bond and work out the kinks before the hubby left for work.

I'm lucky enough that my hubby feels the same that now that we have kids we are our own little family. This topic has already caused issues for my mom because she cannot understand why we won't travel 400+ miles for Christmas just to make her happy.

I made it abundantly clear to anyone and everyone with both pregnancies that I didn't want any visitors until they got a call. It wasn't to be mean but man giving birth is a tough undertaking under the best of circumstances, right? If someone didn't like it, tough noogies.

We only allowed the hubby's best friend to come up that night we had Sam, everyone else had to wait until we got home.

I say, talk it out with your husband. Even though you shouldn't have to make him choose, he should be willing to see how important this is to you. It's your first boy and your last pregnancy. Especially since he may not realize how he tends to let his mom in too much.

::Hugs:: I know how you feel except I get to the be one put in the middle all of the time 'cuz my mom's a dork.

Anonymous said...

I had the exact same concern with my scheduled c-section 2 months ago. I even told *my* mother that she could not hold the baby until after I did. I put it upon her to see that my wish was carried out. Not fair to her, I know, but I know my husband and his urge to always please his parents. I was afraid he'd be overwhelmed and buckle under the pressure.

But nothing ever came up. I was kept in recovery for about 45 minutes, then I had to wait another 30 minutes alone in my room before they brought the baby out of the nursery. She was brought straight to my bed and everything worked out perfectly.

I hope it works out for you.

Lisa said...

Nancy, I completely understand your issues with all of this. When I was pregnant with the twins, I was also concerned that something like this would happen. I knew there was a 50/50 chance that I would be having a c-section and that scared me.


I talked it over with my husband and explained my concerns. It was easier for me since I was much more concerned about my parents than his. I wanted to have a little bit of time as a new family, just the 4 of us. My other issue was that my sister wanted to be at the hospital and meet the boys along side my parents and my in-laws. I was completely opposed to that. She can be a bit of a drama queen and I didn't want her to ruin that moment. The boys are the first grandchildren on my side of the family and the first grandsons on my husband's. So, needless to say, it was a special moment.

In the end, all 4 granparents waited at our house (2 blocks from the hospital) until we called. This gave me the chance to get all cleaned up and gave us kind of a chance to spend some time alone with the boys. Regretfully, Zachary had to stay in the nursery so I only got to hold him for about a minute after he was born and then only 5-6 hours later :(

Coudln't you explain to your husband that you need the first moments with Karl to be about you, him and your girls. A true, quiet, immediate family moment... It's just in talking to him that you will be able to try and get your point across. And who knows, maybe he will understand and be completely supportive.

Good luck! I am sending along some turning vibes so that you and Karl can avoid the c-section...

Seriously? - Erin said...

Uhg, my MIL does stuff like that all the time.

She always gives all the boys a firefighting related gift on Christmas and last year it was children's books, 2 months after my m/c. Thanks lady. Then she was "cleaning out her attic" and sent over a bunch of his baby stuff...

I have actually banned everyone from the hospital (DH is the exception) until I give the a-OK.

Motel Manager said...

My DH is an only child, but he is not especially close to his parents, so we haven't had to deal with this situation. It sounds so tough. It does sound as though he does understand somewhat when you explain things to him -- I wonder if the next few weeks can get him all the way there so that it's not just you putting your foot down and being the "bad cop"?

One nice thing about a c/s and even the "transition" nursery is that no one else is allowed in either place other than you or DH.

Even if I hadn't had a c/s, I don't think I would have had people waiting in the hospital -- it would have stressed me out. That may be kind of weird. People would ask me if my mom was coming for the delivery, and I was like, "Oh, God, no!" Nothing against my mom at all -- she is very supportive and non-invasive -- but I just wanted it to be about our little family.

Anyway, keep us posted. I'm optimistic you can make it (the privacy) happen in a mutually agreeable way!

Duran Baby said...

I completely agree with everyone. The nurses are there to enforce all of the rules and they will enforce anything that you ask of them. I did the same thing with the birth of my 2nd. No one besides my hubby and mother were allowed anywhere near the delivery room. Some family, MIL, aunts and uncles were upset but my hubby didn't have to tell them the nurses did it for him. He also is a mommy boy! Good luck and I will be praying that little Karl will turn!

areyoukiddingme said...

Just to play devil's advocate: your MIL is missing out on that special connection that mothers and daughters can have that comes with pregnancy. She won't have a frustrated and tired daughter calling her for advice and support. She gets to be grandma, but maternal grandmothers are often closer than paternal grandmothers. So, if she does slip through, and gets to hold your boy first, just think of it as a gift that you gave her that no one else would ever be able to give. But really, your wishes should rule. You're doing all the work.

My husband invited his parents into recovery, and I wasn't too happy about that. But, in retrospect, it was something that I could easily give. I think my husband and his parents all got to hold our daughter before I did. Then, my mom came and stayed with us for 10 days. My husband was upset that I didn't want his mom to come and stay first. But, you know, I can't ask his mom to wash my underwear! It's a hard sea to navigate. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever checked out this website? It initially was called MILDEW: Mother In Laws Do Everything Wrong. Now they take all in-law tales to post. I love it, makes me feel as though my own in-laws don't suck as bad as other people's!

http://inlawssuck2.wordpress.com/

Ali said...

I agree, tell the nurses your wishes. They have no problems following through, since it's not personal with them.

theclam said...

I get it totally! I would feel exactly the same way... sjoe delicate one to handle though... Can you not talk to Tom about it and ask him to not let his Mom get time before you do? I'm sure he'd understand?

HUGS
xxx

Our family is complete said...

Nancy...I can totally understand your concern. Not too long ago I had the same worries. Both my c-sections were totally different and I think it all depends on how the hospital is run and their policies. After I had Peyton they brought him in with me to the recovery room, so I could nurse him if I wanted to and have that time to bond with him. That was very important to the docs and nurses that I see him as much as I could right after delivery. I just thought that was really nice, since that didn't happen with Carter and I think that is why I had a harder time bonding with him. Then I was wheeled back to my room and Peyton was right behind me and was brought to my room immediately. I would just voice your concerns to your doc and see if there is anyway that Karl can be brought into recovery with you so you have that time to bond.

Good luck. I can't believe you will be meeting your little guy soon.

Amy

JamieD said...

You're right - unfortunataly things aren't always perfect.

I wish I had some advice but know I completely understand where you're coming from. Your not crazy at all!