Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Newbie ttc-ers' hope drives me nutso

And it shouldn't. It really shouldn't. I just can't help it.

I remember when ~I~ was SO full of hope when I first started. It would have sucked is some bitter IFer told me to contain my joy because it could very well take a long time. And even though it DID take a long time, I still liked that I once was so full of hope.

And the bottom line is most newbies WILL get their BFPs before they turn bitter. (Which, let me add, I find it HILARIOUS when someone who's tried 6 months and got their BFP talk about how HARD it was for them. Okay, it sucks to fail, I get that, but when you get the prize at 6 months, it kinda seems that they get their bitch card taken away.) So our warnings of not getting too much hope in their hearts is dismissed. And why shouldn't they have hope anyways? If they ~do~ get it sooner, rather than later, why not have it all be a wonderful experience? Just cause it's so shitty for me and so many others? Mind you - I am ~NOT~ saying that they shouldn't understand that it's hard for others - I'm not talking about that - I'm talking about their hope and excitement when first starting to ttc.

But I digress.

Another thing, the newbies who do get it easily are the reason why so many myths about ttc perpetuate. We would NEVER hear "put your legs up", "get drunk!", "just relax" if there wasn't such a thing as an "under 12 month bfp".

Hey, it's cool that most get it under 12 months. 6 months even. But my point here is not to bitch about that fact - it's fine. I'm jealous it's not me, but it's fine. My point is that their cutsie hope wears on me. It wears on me HARD. But I try to mutter a "good luck!" with a smile anyway.

oy vey.


BethH6703 said...

That, my dear, is EXACTLY why I left the TTC:JSO board when I hit the 6 cycle mark, and the boards entirely after about 18 months. Couldn't handle the "I'm 5dpo & I felt a weird twinge in my abdomen, could I be pg?" posts. I literally wanted to climb into cyberspace & beat the living snot out of them... ESPECIALLY when Ms 5dpo twinge actually WAS pg!!!!

But, I realized that THEY belonged there, and I did not. It was not my right to take away that hope & joy & innocence from them. So instead, I left, and saved us all the hassle.

I never could understand how after the 2 girls & starting on treatments, I'd still see you posting on JSO. You definitely have more patience than I do!

nancy said...

Well, It's got nothing to do with I already have two girls so I know enough to be on JSO, but I like to be the one with answers. Always have. There needs to be a few with answers or could you imagine what these girls would fathom up? heh. It's the board with the most questions, the most traffic, etc. That's why I'm on there.

But you are right, when I feel that way, it's the fact that I don't belong there - not that they shouldn't be feeling that way.

BethH6703 said...

I can definitely see the need to have someone knowledgable around there, as I certainly took advantage of your guidance in my early days, too (thank you thank you)! Oh hell, who are we kidding? I still look to you for guidance! (and you still always have helpful and supportive words for me, so thank you thank you again!)

I'm just impressed that you have it in you to answer the same questions over & over & over & over again... Again, you're a far more patient soul than I am!

nancy said...

would it help if I told you I rolled my eyes and cursed with each iteration of the same question? ;)

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

This is why I stick with Bloggers now. Message boards are full of these uberpositive/slightly hysterical types who are just so damned perky.

Bloggers tend to be nice and jaded. Good company.

soapchick said...

Good luck with giving yourself your first injection! It really isn't that bad (as if I'm an expert, I've done it once).

By the way I checked out your nursery pictures - absolutely adorable! I love the purple and the flowers.

Chas said...

And this is why I cannot read the message boards. Ladies get excited when they first start out on the journey and it's a bummer every month when they get the BFN, even if it is only a few months, but they don't realize how the whining about those few BFNs just grinds on the nerves of those of us that haven't just had months of BFNs, but years and years. Grrr.