I was really, really moved by this post by katarinajellybeana which talks about the feelings and knowledge of women who have not gone through infertility on the topic of infertility.
I really want the post to speak for itself and I will not add to it. Just the fact that it struck me.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2007
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October
(36)
- 100th post (updated 11/05)
- Whew. Halloween is a lot of work.
- Anon - It's not a deductible.
- Infertility coverage windfall.
- Holiday Socks.
- I have surgery in 4 days.
- GO RED SOX!!!
- Misery loves company.
- I can't stop puking.
- psst ... go red sox!
- Statistics of Late Implantation.
- My pomegranate bracelet.
- Peter Pan. The Tortoise.
- next trivia city
- 3 trivia items from 3 cities.
- Anyone part of a message board?
- My search phrases are hilarious.
- Allison got her cast off!
- "I'd rather be ignorant".
- They are SO afraid of me
- I'm NOT a failure!!!
- The Quick Fix.
- no longer too early.
- another bfn
- I'm having a "poor me" moment.
- oh yeah - my official derby name is ...
- I made the team!
- Welcome to dorksville. Population ME.
- I couldn't check ...
- Put a gun in my mouth and just pull the trigger.
- Want in on my insanity?
- The private pain.
- My first self-injection is done.
- Anyone want to take guesses?
- Newbie ttc-ers' hope drives me nutso
- What am I? 70?
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October
(36)
4 comments:
wow...that post will make me think twice. It was beautiful.
Just had to say that your chart is looking awfully darn pretty! I've got my fingers & toes crossed for ya!
Wow...that was beautiful and sad all in one. Thinking about those times and thinking about all the wonderful women I care for still going through them always touches a place in my heart that only an IFer would know. I still cry over things like that....
Nancy,
This isn't necessarily for you to post but really just for you. I know I am not part of your online support group but I love and support you every day (maybe without you even knowing it). I know I am not one of the ones who understands even though I always listen and want to know about your struggles. I know I am one of the ones who had it easy (getting the BFP) even though the conclusion wasn't easy. But, despite all of that I am your friend and I love you. I only hope the best for you and it hurts my heart every month to wish and wish for you and to know that once again you have been cheated! You are one of the strongest people I know, even though I know that there are times when you are sick of being strong and just want to be sad, you're still strong. You love your girls so much and only hope that one day they will have a brother or sister. I get that and I only hope that you know that if and when you need me I'll be there! Love ya! L
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