If you were TTC#1 and were given these two option ...
a) A ~guaranteed~ adoption of a 1 year old child within a 2 year time frame
or
b) A ~free~ IVF cycle
what would you choose and why?
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
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September
(38)
- What is Infertility?
- He's back.
- Just a little question ...
- It's missing
- Oy vey.
- Daycare costs ...
- My TTC Predictions
- Online shopping == a naughty Nancy.
- Here is something bound to piss someone off.
- 7 ~more~ random things about me.
- What's that? A light?
- No change really.
- Emotional Schemotional.
- Spent the day in the hospital.
- Why does it actually ~hurt~?
- We kicked some ass tonight.
- Math.
- Rambling.
- Are you in my reader?
- "My Favorite Joke"
- A question for everyone going to appointments (RE ...
- Schnarkiness.
- The Weekend Update (and a discussion?)
- Sexist?
- My answers and new opinions.
- Yes! (A story about boobies.)
- Well, Hello There!
- Day Six ...
- Day Five ...
- Day Four ...
- We have named our son. Karl James.
- Day Three ...
- Day Two ...
- Day One ...
- My "halfway" Dr Appt Update and my Goodbye ...
- No one got rich.
- Pet peeve?
- It's not a real week.
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September
(38)
28 comments:
adoption. didn't even waver on that. I have always just wanted to be a parent.
This is something that JD and I are debating right now. I think the key guarantee for this would be that we were able to start the IVF cycle right away as opposed to having lose a lot of weight to start. I want to have a baby now, not have to wait and wait and wait.
Adoption. No hesitation. Of course, that wouldn't keep me from trying at a bio kid afterwards. As long as that decision didn't mean giving up all hope of being pregnant at some point. The worst suffering from me was not knowing if I would get to be Mommy. So yes, adoption.
adoption, no thought to it whatsoever, cuz of the guarantee
We did choose adoption becaue it was 'guaranteed' only in our case turned out not to be (however our situation was not typical).
I would choose the free IVF cycle. Reason being that if it didnt work I hadn't used any of my money so than I would have that extra for adoption. I do plan to adopt if I am unable to have children but I do plan on trying my hardest to have a biological child first.
Adoption. At this point I want the suffering to end. I want a family more than a biological kid.
A child within 2 years? At this point, adoption--hands down. The cycle we got pregnant on was our absolute last attempt, and as late as the evening before our BFP, I was weeping at the thought of ever doing one more injection. We already had $4K into adoption.
But it took me a long time to get here. If you had asked me 6 months into treatment, my answer would have been the opposite.
Adoption, I didn't even have to think twice. I couldn't deal with doing IVF and have it not working, adoption is a guaranteed child.
It's impossible to say for sure since I've got a kid...but considering I guess I did have the option to adopt and I chose to spend close to twenty grand to do IVF instead (twice...plus FETs), I guess I probably would have taken the IVF.
IVF. I wish I could say adoption, but my heart just isn't there yet. Someday we will be ready to adopt, but until then I'm not going to force the issue. I want to adopt because I WANT to adopt, not because it's a last resort.
Hmmm...Ok well for me IVF #1 and #2 worked but I m/c b/c I have/had a clotting issue.
So if it was this time last year and we already knew about the clotting issue but hadn't done IVF yet...I would go for IVF#1 for free (Meds included??!?!?!)
I am not sure why...but I would go that route rather than Adoption...naivity I guess?!?!
I think my answer depends on whether I was just at the start of trying and going into IVF. If I was going into my first IVF, I would take the free cycle. If it were now, and my last cycle didn't work, I think I'd go with adoption.
If the child were guaranteed within two years and was one year old max, I would have chosen adoption. The thing is that if your IVF works in a reasonable timeframe, you get a child faster. Adoption has so many of its own complications that it is more daunting (to me at least) when you're first trying to figure out what to do. Obviously, once your IVFs start failing, you wonder if you've been wasting time.
IVF. That's just where my heart is right now.
I would have to say the Free IVF cycle. Because there is no way that I can afford to adopt. If I could afford it then I def would. Since I have been able to have one child with no probs and now finding out all the issues to have another one then I think that at this point I would say for sure IVF.
Definitely the free IVF. Grumps & I have talked about adoption, and it's def an option for us, but we're not there yet. He very much wants a bio child (at least that's where his heart is now), and I very much want to experience pregnancy.
That, and because of the treatments I've gone through this year, and the current financial state we're finding ourselves in... IVF seems like a realistic option for us, but I don't see how we'd afford it on our own.
***And yes, this is where I'm at TODAY. A year from now? 6 months even? Could be a completely different answer. I fully recognize that, and therefore felt the need to add this disclaimer.***
Free IVF? Hells yeah. It's free and I'm cheap. I'll take anything free.
Plus I'm not ready to move on yet without giving it a try - since we have NO chance. I want one chance. Just one.
~free~ IVF cycle....if you mean free of pain, the agony of waiting, the heartbreak if it doesn't work? If we are talking about that kind of ~free~ then I am in for the IVF cycle.
Karen
At this point, the free IVF. We are at the very start of trying to conceive, so I am not sure yet of my body's limitations (except that I don't have regular cycles without pharmaceutical assistance). I reserve the right to change my answer later on.
I honestly don't know... I think from where I am now I would take the free IVF. I really wanted to experience being pregnant & even though adoption has always been an option for us (& will probably continue to be for any future family building) I wasn't ready to give up on being pregnant yet.
Although if our first (& last for a really long time) IUI hadn't miraculously worked, my answer may have been different.
Tough one... but at this stage of our journey we would choose the free IVF... that way if the IVF failed we would still have the option of adoption to fall back on... we don't feel that we've exhausted the possiblilities of having our biological kids at this point yet... sjoe, but tough one which sparked much debate in our household...
Adoption, being a child of adoption, I know how important it is!
IVF for me and for the same reason as the others who chose IVF. I am not saying we would never consider adoption, but we are so early in our TTC journey being pregnant with our biological child isn't something I am willing to give up on yet.
adoption. The Hubs and I have decided that IVF isn't for us- so I guess the choice is obvious.
Adoption, IVF may work, but then a miscarriage is also something that could happen, (It happened to me) I also had fertility issues as well as the M/C... IVF was never for us, we knew we could love an adopted child the same as a bio child, plus I had no desire to be pregnant, and did not enjoy it when I was. My sister also chose not to do IVF and adopted my nephew from Russia (he is half Russian, 1/2 Korean and 100% adorable!) and it took less than 2 years.having a Bio child simply isnt something that we find to be an important part of being mothers. Thats just our experiences and feelings however.
My answer - A free IVF cycle. THe only reason I would pick that is because my husband said "no" to adoption, so it wasn't an option for me.
IVF, without a doubt. Even though I want to be a parent more than anything, I'm not to the point where I'm ready to give up ttc. I know you don't have to give up ttc when you adopt, if we were to do that, we would not ttc anymore. I would want to go into adoption knowing that I've closed the door on conceiving. Maybe that sounds selfish but I just don't want to be one of those women (who I seriously think might be imaginary) who adopts with secret hopes that she'll be one of the ones that people tell stories about like, "oh, I knew this woman who tried for years and then she adopted and bam, she was pregnant a month later."
Not that I'm naiive enough to think that's the way it works but where I am right now, adopting would feel like giving up on something rather than gaining everything. If I get to that point, I want to go into it feeling like it's a wonderful reward; not something to settle for.
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