Friday, September 26, 2008

Here is something bound to piss someone off.

I was just leaving this exact poll on one of the pregnancy message boards I go to, but I thought about leaving it here too.

My poll was about the "no-no" things I partake in while pregnant. And when I was putting it on the "pregnancy after infertility" board, I thought about how after IF, most women are even ~more~ careful because of all they went through. See, I'm not. Although I don't do anything I really believe to be dangerous, I'm by far not the perfect pregnant girl out there. And I thought if I put it out here, how many IFers will yell at me.

Let me preface this by saying I think Americans are way too stuffy about their rules. Many of the rules could really be said "this is okay in moderation" but No! Not for the US. We simply tell everyone "No! NEVER EVER Eat/Drink these things!" because as a nation, we obviously don't understand self control. So I get that. I understand it's not an all or nothing thing. There is an in between, and that's how I roll.

So, I pose a question and I will answer myself here and now ...

"For anyone who is/was pregnant, what no-no things did you do while pregnant?"

~ I eat raw sushi. (From the one very reputable sushi place I've been going to for 12 years. And I only get the full raw pieces so I can easily see the quality. I would never get sushi from anywhere else and eat it now.)

~ I drank a beer at my best friend's wedding 2 weeks ago. And I drank another one that same weekend. (oh, the horror!)

~ With my second pregnancy, I snowboarded my entire 1st trimester. (Because I know while the baby is so small, tucked behind the pelvic bone, it's actually quite safe. I do not do anything that I have the possibility of falling on my belly once the baby is out of it's safe place.)

~ I drink a grande black & white mocha every day. (my OB approved this.)

~ I eat deli meats and hot dogs and brie. (I just make sure they are all fresh.)

~ If I have a pain or if I'm sick, I do not think twice about taking medication. Only approved, of course, but I'll take it without a second thought. (I don't think this is a no-no, as all meds are approved for pregnancy, but I know many girls who won't even take a tylenol.)

I think that's about it. So - Feel like yelling at me? Feel free! Feel like answering these yourself? Do it! If you are still ttc#1 and want to answer how you think you'll do - be my guest!


Simply AnonyMom said...

When I went to my first doctors appointment with my first baby I fell in love with my ObGyn. It was our first meeting and she was so awesome. When I asked about things to do and not do, she told me the list of medications that were a absolutely 100% forbidden. She then told me that evetrything I was eating and drinking before I got pregnant, I could continue to do. (she said this because I was not an alcohol drinker and I am allergic to shellfish)

So while pregnant both times I ate:
Cream cheese, peanut butter, hot dogs, lunch meat and spicy food. I drank milk, I drank coffee, I drank tea. I took medicines that were not on the no-no list.

The only thing my doctor was firm on me doing was quitting smoking. She did not ask me to quit cold turkey, she just strongly suggested I cut back a little each day and sure enough I had stopped by 16 or 17 weeks.

I agree with you Nancy that the majority of Americans are too "No no no" when it should be more "in moderation"

DCat said...

I won't yell b/c as I am not pregnant yet I have the same feelings. There are so many rules and so many stories out there about if you do this then this will happen to your baby. You can't let it control you.


Mareike said...

I love you Nancy. Really and truly. I was thinking about responding to you last post and then you came up with this one. Of course you are careful to protect the baby you are carrying and (guess what)it's fine to have a beer or swallow some tylenol. I'm an old hippy I guess. I don't get painting finger nails or toe nails or shoes (other than birkenstocks and crocs.) My wardrobe consists of blue jeans (Levi's 505) and whatever shirts I have inherited from my kids. As for missing your old life while loving your new life, well, that's life. It's okay to miss something you had while appreciating what you have now. I can't wait to hear about Karl and the girls in the near future. I love you girl. Really, I do.

nancy said...

Mareike, when are you going to get a blog???

Simply Anonymom - good job on quitting smoking. Yay for yoU!!!

dcat - :) Thanks for not yelling :)

MrsSpock said...

I ate hot dogs, deli meats, blue cheese, raw honey, and LOTS of peanut butter and peanut butter milkshakes.

I never drink (tastes icky to me), so there was no change, but I cook with wine and beer a lot.

I had to throw myself across a violent patient trying to extubate himself a few times in the 1st trimester.

I drank hot tea, as always, every day.

I had gnarly headaches the entire 2nd tri and took tylenol frequently.

Jewels said...

I cant imagine why anybody would yell at YOU. What you do doesnt affect anyone and it's not like your doing Crack. Even I am different in some ways on how I'm pregnant. But I wouldn’t yell at you for not being like me. ((shrug)) kind of interesting though that I do see others attack you because of those differences.

So... with open mindedness and understanding that because I'm different doesn’t mean I judge you (and visa-versa)

I ate Sushi and wondered if it killed my baby. (I know better but it was a guilt and I did regret it. Although I would have known if the sushi was bad, I would have gotten sick - but most grieving mothers blame them selves and their actions)

I gave up caffeine

I pampered my self - not over exerting

I don’t drink (in the first place no not while pregnant)

Ate healthy, Juiced up my juices.

Didn’t take any pain killers except Tylenol when I really needed it.

All these things - which proves that the absence of the things does NOT save a life.

Next time-
I'll probably keep the coffee, just one or two cups a day.
Have a little bit more fun.
Relax a little bit more
Eat more junk food
Take a pill when I have a headache.
Stress less on exercise.
and stay away from Sushi.

And stop blaming my self for my loss.

It's what I hope,
I hope I'm not ruined and I can actually enjoy a pregnancy.

Amanda said...

I eat greek salads and greek pizza, extra feta, please! I've eaten lunch meats (can't stand the thought of them lately, though). I'll have tuna subs if I feel like it. I cover my chips (and everything else) with queso when I go to my favorite Mexican restaurant. I'd have a beer every once in a while if I wasn't scared of the heartburn it might cause. I have a cup of regular coffee if the mood strikes me.

You're right, it's all about self control.

(giggling @ "that's how I roll")

Tara said...

I eat raw tuna (also only from a very reputable and high quality restauraunt)

I sip beer.

I eat lunch meats and hotdogs

I will have a latte or chai if I feel like it.

I eat feta cheese.

And I've been doing all this stuff throughout my pregnancy. I just don't go overboard and I'm careful of the sources I get get things from. I do realize bad things could still happen but I don't think we need to be as crazy about the "rules" as some of us are.

Each to their own I guess.

The Captain's Wife said...

The only "no no" things that I have followed are trying to stay away from anything containing Raw Eggs (home made ceaser dressing)....and I do not change the litter box (I really like that rule!!)

But as read on my blog I drank a beer last night and it was FABULOUS! I waited on drinking any wine or beer until after week 20. That was my own rule to myself. I eat canned tuna and lunch meat unheated (gasp) and soft serve ice cream! I drink on an average 2 8oz cups of black starbucks Bold coffee daily.

I will be attending one of my best friends weddings in 3 weeks and plan to indulge in a couple of glasses of wine with dinner.

I am sure I will break many more rules, and will probably follow a lot that I don't even realize. I don't think my decisions are harming my baby or myself or I wouldn't make them.

Mareike said...

Nancy, I can't imagine what I would blog about. I live with three cats and three dogs. My kids are 30,29 and 26. I go to work and I come home to my critters (and I'm fortunate to be able to do a lot of my work from home so I only spend from 4 or 5 in the morning until 8 or 9) I'm quite comfortable in my life but it's really not interesting.

Mandy said...

a glass of wine here and there-yes
deli meat-yes, but fresh, nothing that has sat around
decaf coffee, but love ice tea
soft cheese-no, but I love blue cheese and it has become a food adversion.

Heather said...

I fell in love with blue cheese while pregnant with my first, before it was taboo. So when I was pregnant with my daughter all the sudden you can't eat it while pregnant. I figured my first turned out ok so I ate it occasionally with her. Same with lunch meat. That really bugged me when it was all over the news that Tori Spelling was promoting Baskin Robbins when she was pregnant and (gasp) soft serve ice cream could have listeria, or something like that. Come on, seriously people.

Meredith said...

I had to answer this - I agree the same as you do and luckily so does my wonderful OB. When I was pg with ds#1 I went to my appt full of questions about all the things I read on the pregnancy boards about the stuff I shouldn't eat. When I mentioned deli meat was a no no she said "that's hogwash". She then proceeded to tell me I could prety much eat anything I wanted. The only thing they were concerned about was if I went to a place like Jamba Juice, not to get any of the proteins or vitamins they add to some of those drinks, as you never know how much they put in.

I drank at least one soda a day (if not 2). I really didn't chage as thing as I don't really drink alcohol now. I did always call before I took meds, but once they said it was fine I took them. I also called before I went and gorged on seafood - once again, as long as it's not a bottom dweller or a big fish (swordfish) it was fine.

ssbean said...

I love this poll. I too think there are way too many "no no's" and if I really want something I don't think it's right to deprive myself. I never really ate sushi, so no problem there. I do eat shrimp when I want. I eat peanut butter when I want. I will drink a can of pepsi every morning. I never did drink alcohol, once a year maybe, so that shouldn't be an issue. I have had hot teas and I will not give up my occasional sweet iced tea. I'm in the south, you simply can't go without it. I didn't know there was anything wrong with spicy food, but if I want it, then I'm eating it. The "bad" things I try to limit myself to only when I really want it, not just because. I take medicine too, but when I need it, and it's all on my approved medication list. I do heat up my lunch meat or hotdogs though. I had a tooth pulled, but was sure to get it approved my the doctor and oral surgeon. And I still lift people at work, and pull on turn people. It's part of my job, and as long I'm not straining, I feel ok. My doctor is very relaxed and laid back. He thinks there's too many no no's too. He's ok with me working, and I know if either him or I start feeling like I shouldn't work or do what I'm doing, we can put me out of work.

jenn said...

I haven't changed a single thing I eat. Except for not eating things because of m/s or food aversions- I wouldn't be getting protein in the morning without peanut butter, I still drink my cup of full strength tea when I get to work. I will have a hot chocolate or a latte in a blue moon (same as before) and I don't ask anyone to carry shit for me- my job involves a lot of schlepping. I try not to lift anything over 15-20 pounds, but if I do, no biggie.

I always knew I would never be a sushi or lunch meat girl, so they don't apply to me. I also never really take medication (unless doctor prescribed) because I get sick very infrequently & superstitiously feel that part of the reason is because the one time a year I do get sick I tough it out. (I will take a tylenol for a really bad headache, but shy away from it because of the kidney thing- just overly cautious since I think I read something once about a link)

I still walk my crazy dogs every day & haul in the groceries. The hub does change the litterbox- but that's not ~really~ because I'm pregnant since he took it on before! I'm just spoiled!
I would love
some good brie, but I need to make the time to go to a little cheese shop I know of or someplace I trust more than the ghetto pathmark by my house!

margelina said...

OK, I'm taking a break from my work because I just HAD to answer this.

The only guideline my doctor gave me during pregnancy was "Watch the sugar". I read no books about pregnancy and/or labor, never went to classes, ect. I went by what I saw my older sister do. (Who has the same ob/gyn as me, btw)

I ate Albacore tuna fish as much as I wanted, drank regular soda as much as I wanted, lived off of ham sandwiches for lunch, ate Maryland Crabs when I wanted. I'm not a fan of raw fish,hot dogs, or soft cheese, but I imagine if I wanted it, I would have eaten it.
I'm also one who kept my kids in their cribs from birth with stuffed toys, the bumper, and baby blankets. Oh, and 2 of my kids were belly sleepers from birth. I am not one who has the time or inclination to worry over every little thing that could go wrong. My sister had her first kid in 1993, and though I was only 13, I babysat and used to be the kids sole care giver when she worked while I was in highschool. This was before alot of the crazy "rules' came about, so I used her as an example. It's where I learned brand name diapers are just fine, and that bumpers, blankets, and toys are, too, as well as not changing what I ate during pregnancy. Well, between us there are 7 kids, and all are happy and healthy.
Still, when friends of mine, or even my SIL, get all crazy and won't touch the forbidden shrimp during pregnancy, I seriously roll my eyes and laugh a little. When I was KU with #3, I was eating crabs at a cookout for my birthday. My brother actually asked me why I was eating it since I was pregnant. Um, it's my third kid, I'm quite sure I know what I'm doing! Yum!!!

Not in the Water said...

Working on the 2ww. And I have ditched caffeine...cold turkey. Went to St.arb.ucks yesterday had a decaf latte...I was sooooo way it was decaf.

So that's it so far...hopefully I will 40 weeks of no-no's coming soon.

Poltzie said...

I didn't drink coffee but that's because I can't stand it. I never really drink caffeine and so if I did (pregnancy or no) it would make me crazy.

I also ate lunch meats (from our butcher shop mostly but not always), hot dogs, soft cheese etc. I also loved every moment of it lol!

I took one tylenol and I felt guilty for taking it. Luckily I felt great (like better than when I'm not pregnant) most of my pregnancy and didn't need it.

I never drank and I was never around anyone who was smoking (smoking is banned in public here so it's easy to stay away from it).

I didn't eat sushi but that's because I'm allergic to the bacteria in raw fish so I can't eat it ever. I did eat rare steak and didn't think twice about it. I buy all organic, hormone free meat though so maybe that's why?

I think you have to do what you are comfortable with though and not care what others think. I always drank non-alcholic beers and (because they look just like regular beers) got dirty looks whenever we were out. I didn't care, but I generally don't care what others think of me.

Michelle-haydensmama said...

Hey Nancy! I haven't read your blog in quite a while...I was an avid follower and fellow blogger, but I havent been on the computer! Its great to see you are doing AWESOME! No more scares, I hope! We are still TTC #2...Sucks...

Jenera said...

Hmmm, I had to really think on this one.

For my anniversary last month I had a glass of wine with my hubby to celebrate.

I eat hot dogs, lunch meat, and lately tons of peanut butter.

I've dyed my hair a couple of times and even cleaned my bathroom without thinking about it.

I mowed my own lawn in 90 degree weather until a month or so ago.

I went out tubing on the lake up until about 3 weeks ago or so.

I try to be careful but sometimes I forget and usually my body lets me know if I'm pushing it too far.

Jenera said...

Oh and after giving up Coca Cola for several months I have about one every other day to help with headaches-on doctors orders, lol. And I take Tylenol without thinking for headaches and backaches.

Vikki a.k.a "V" said...

TTC #1 on IVF #2. I gave up regular coffee a couple years ago and anything else with caffeine due to the fact that I was such a jittery mess. Otherwise, I am happy to hear that so many preggers "break" the rules so to speak. There are a few things I was dreading not living without once I become pregnant and they included:Wine, blue cheese, feta cheese, tuna, sushi, tylenol and god forbid dark chocolate! I pray that my OB will not be some earthy granola crunchy rule follower. What is the big deal about peanut butter? That is a new one for me.

nancy said...

v - I actually have NO FREAKING ID with this whole peanut butter thing.

margelina said...

Nanc, the whole peanut butter thing is some crazy shit about prevailent peanut allergies nowadays. Something about how allergies are developed by repeat exposure to the allergen, like how you aren't supposed to fed a child under 12 months peanut butter. (I'm guilty there, too.) The thinking is that exposure to the baby via the mom in utero will have the same exposure effects that actually feeding it to a kid would, thus making peanut allergies more prevailent. That's the science, dunno how much I agree with it, unless of course there are sever peanut allergies in the parents.

Oh, and my other comment was supposed to say "non-brand name diapers work just as well".

You have inspired a post for me to do(sorta aloong these lines). I'll try if I have some time at work tomorrow. Keep checking my blog for it, I'll give you a shout-out!

Liz said...

V--I'm with you. I never heard a thing about peanut butter. For 2 pregnancies now, I've eaten it almost daily!

I was much more strict with myself the first time around. Now, I feel more relaxed, but don't go nuts. I'm buying a bottle of my favorite champagne this weekend to share with my husband next week. He'll drink more than me (he always does!), but I'm definitely having at least one full glass!

Geohde said...

I drank coffee and had the odd glass of wine.

You are right that many of the rules are a little on the stuffy side,



Karyn with a Y said...

My first pregnancy the OB said.. "Everything in moderation, well except crack". So, that's what I have lived by.

I eat deli meat ALL the time. I don't "warm" or toast it. I also eat tuna more than once a week. I gotta get the protein from somewhere.

I have at least 1 coke, tea or coffee a day. Often times it's many more than 1.

I got in my hot tub while pregnant with #2. Now, we didn't make it scalding hot but nice and warm.

Oh I had a beer just yesterday. I had to, my sanity depended on it. I have had several glasses of wine during the duration of this pregnancy.

Oh and Nancy- I'll work on getting you belly pics. I'm telling you, it's hard when I am "borrowing" my neighbors internet.

CappyPrincess said...

I smoked clear through my pregancy with my first live child. I figured after 3 losses why should I go bat crazy and take everyone with me if it was going to turn out badly again anyway... I was smarter the next time around. I finally kicked the battle for good 06/01/06.

And I continue to be a caffiene addict. Some things will never change.


Denise said...

I would be in the loony bin by now if it weren't for tylenol pm. Seriously.

Topcat said...

Peanut butter!! WTF? That was my biggest craving, whoopsies!!

I smoked through my first pregnancy. And I was on anti-depressants, and chugged back pain killers like candy. Ummm, whoopsies!

(He is the tallest in his class, runs like a stallion)


Not in the Water said...

COFFEE - Nancy...Haven't had withdrawals yet from the Cold Turkey....maybe I can switch to like a Maxwell House or something and ease my way into it. :)

Once I was a few weeks along the past 2 times I actually felt queezy when I smelled coffee.

OH as for Nono's...I had my hair highlighted during PG!

JamieD said...

You are so absolutely right - moderation is key. I remember reading a post of yours about eating raw sushi and I thought you were absolutely right. Continuing to eat at a reputable restaurant I am familiar with where *I* never get sick is not going to harm my baby.

Besides, I can always say, "Well, Nancy does it!!"

Nathansma said...

Moderation is the key. They've developed way too many no-nos since I was pregnant. From the minute I knew I was pregnant I drank no caffeine, only because I didn't want my son to be hyper (myth or not - I have no idea) but it made sense to me. My weakness was chinese food. I could have eaten it three times a day!


Sara said...

When I was pregnant, I have to admit I was pretty good. But

* I will never shy away from taking approved medication. I have to - I take blood pressure pills, blood thinner injections (when preggo, allergy meds - you get the idea.

*I am ttc - and last night I got pretty damned intoxicated. And I am close to ovulation - not the 2ww. But even if I was in the 2 ww, I would have drank the same amount!

m said...

Dear Nancy, THANK YOU for this post! My cravings for all things I am not "allowed" to have of course, are huge. I think it's my nature: tell me no and I want it more.

So far I've resisted the raw sushi but have made frequent trips down the road for california rolls and cooked varieties.

Downed a wrap filled with cold cuts and on that same busy day, had a chicken salad sandwich only to come home to read that both are alleged no-nos.

Wanting an italian sub in the worst way and I cannot see any reason why not to have it.

Hot tea. Every day. Cut out the coffee (mostly because its grossing me out lately) but don't you dare deny me my tea. mostly decaf and/or herbal. Sometimes not.

Still sneak sips of my husband's beer. Esp. if he orders a porter.

And I totally licked the bowl when I made an orange cake earlier today.

calliope said...

four days ago, on a crazy dangerous whim, I ordered a coffee. As in NOT a decaf. As in a REAL coffee. And it was so fucking good that I ordered another one.
And then I felt guilty.
But then I stopped.
When I was ttc I didn't do SO many things. I stopped drinking any booze, I stopped drinking coffee, I was an amazingly healthy eater. But it was more because I am a blamer. I knew that if something bad happened I would immediately beat myself up and blame the coffee.
Now that I am on the other side of twisted reality I feel like I can live again. TTC was like one giant fucked up pause on life.
The one thing that I REALLY want to do and wish I had done while I was still ttc was get another tattoo. But after my crazy hep c scare I know I can't do that until after the Snork gets gere.

Amanda said...

I just have to chime in about the peanut butter thing (since I definitely love my peanut butter now). My midwife and my OB both told me to eat peanut butter. They suggested that I add it to my carnation instant breakfast or to other smoothies. I have such a major meat aversion that they were concerned that I wouldn't get enough protein without it.

Speaking of which...I think I'll go have a PB&J. :-)

Liz (antimuse13) said...

My no-no's consist of eating deli meat (fresh only of course), hot dogs (cooked), caffiene, and I take tylenol when I get a headache because I am not going to suffer through it when most of mine don't go away on their own anyway. I think that's it- that's all I can think of at the moment :-D

Shelley said...

I did not cut out coffee or deli meats, but I did pretty much cut out most alcohol, and I did take enough Rolaids to make my daughter have extra strong bones. I bought them in bulk at Costco.

But... the weekend before we were to go in to be induced my husband decided since it was our last "free" weekend for a long time we went to a champagne brunch. I was almost 9-1/2 months pregnant with my own champagne bottle and a cute little glass. I think I may have had 4 or 5 glasses and the looks people gave me I still remember to this day. I even remember my fancy maternity dress that I wore and that is almost 19 years ago today.

Anonymous said...

I dealt with the cat litter box daily. I didn't wear gloves or a mask or a hazmat suit. Ooooh.

I ate camembert cheese and had soft serve icecream a couple of times. I took paracetamol/codeine daily because of my crippling back pain. I can't say I was overjoyed about that but I didn't have many options. I ate peanut butter and seafood (though not together). I barely ate at all for the first few months.

I did take it fairly easy physically because of my risk of PTL/IC plus with my back and vomiting I really couldn't do much anyway.

I don't usually drink or smoke or consume caffeine so nothing changed there.

Common sense will do the trick I think. I wouldn't usually eat somewhere dodgey that was likely to give me food poisoning, so I wouldn't do it while pg either.