How "Lucky" am I now?
Lining was shit. All will go to freeze.
I don't give a shit about "there is always next month".
FUCKOFF IF.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
(515)
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March
(39)
- Update on the marriage thing. And it's long.
- It must be ~really~ bad.
- Really down.
- The Mod Squad
- This pain I have
- Introducing ... The Mod Squad.
- Back from my egg retrieval.
- my heart has stopped.
- Oh no.
- Looking for the positives.
- Transfer officially ~cancelled~
- comment that just made me want to throw up.
- IVF Cancelled
- No bueno. sd9.
- Follie report after 7 days of stims.
- I'm still irritated.
- Follie report after 6 days of stims. (updated w/ E2)
- Wow. I am starting to feel it.
- For Laurel and Pete.
- Follie report after 4 days of stims. (update 2)
- The difference an IFer feels about her children.
- E2 levels are low.
- Responses to the Taggings and some feelings.
- Alrighty, well, it's all done.
- I'm stimulated.
- She's here.
- Stim Start appointment.
- Do you believe in "jinxing"?
- Back to the adoption post.
- 300
- WTF?
- "Why don't you just adopt?"
- 2nd injection
- Injections in the belly? Bah.
- I start Lupron tonight!
- "Practice what you preach"
- If I have to study, will there be a test?
- TTCers never stop fighting.
- "This month"
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March
(39)
49 comments:
~hugs~ I'm so pissed for you. I don't even know what to say and sorry seems like not enough.
I'm here if you need me hun, just let me know if you need anything.
♥
Nancy, I posted to you on ITSG, too, so I hope you see this soon. Jeez, I am just so sorry. All I can say is, though, this is my third try at IVF #2. I was cancelled two other times since October, and I think I've been cancelled at least 7 times in all, so I know how bad it sucks. IF sucks in general, but you know that. You just never know what will happen, day to day, and you have to just keep plugging along.
You are lucky that you have good insurance, and I know you will be back in the saddle in no time. Take a break if you need to, but it *will* happen. I am certain of that. I think you have the kind of will and thick skin it takes to persevere. Take good care of yourself, and know that you have lots of support out here when you're ready to try again. (((BIG, GIANT HUGS)))
dont know the words to say... just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. email if you want to chat
That absolutely, 100% fucking sucks and I am so sorry for this twist in the road.
Sorry just doesn't even cut it. I am so angry for you my heart hurts. Please know I am thinking about you. ((Hugs))
FUCK. That blows.
Oh, Nancy. This just sucks.
I am so sorry.
Oh Nancy. I am so sorry. *hugs*.
Fuck. (((Hugs)))
Oh Nancy.
That sucks.
No kidding 'double fuck you IF'...
I'm sorry.
Pam
I am so sorry Nancy. This just sucks.
I'm so terribly sorry.
Hi Nancy - I'm a longtime stalker of yours from WebMD (we were PG with our first at the same time). Even though we've never met, I feel like I know you a little bit since I have been following your IF journey all this time. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I did want to send some ((((HUGS))) your way. There are a lot of people out there rooting for you.
Gail
Im so sorry to hear this Nancy...
I don't have any words to say how sorry I am.
I am sorry too that your lining decided to munch on that poopy sandwich and spoil this go around.
If you need anything, support, a smile, a voodoo doll, let me know.
Nancy....I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you.
ARRGGGGGHHHHHH! Nancy, so bummed for you. No words for you b/c I know how disappointed you are. IF sucks - eff off is an understatement. Ugh.
I'm so sorry, Nancy.
I am so so so very sorry.
Ok, well, at least they're going to freeze them. When you said canceled I was seriously confused.
It sucks donkey butt, honey, but they'll plump your lining up and have a great FET when you're ready.
For now just wallow.
Emily
thebabyproject
I am so sorry. So so sorry. (((Nancy)))
Nancy,
I won't try to blow sunshine at you. That sucks. S.U.C.K.S. This was supposed to be the answer to the last 18 cycles, and I'm sorry that it wasn't.
Sending good vibes to the eggs, nonetheless.
And hugs to you. I'm so sorry.
Nancy - I'm so sorry. I know there aren't any words to make you feel better right now. Sending you hugs from Michigan.
I'm bumming for you Nancy. While I don't know what you are going through, I know you are hurting and that sucks.
Oh, Nancy, I'm so sorry! That really really really really sucks.
I'm so sorry Nancy.
~tears -n- hugs~
I just don't know what to say, I can't even imagine how upsetting this must be. I'm thinking about you.
Awww fuck. I am so sorry Nancy. How much estrogen have they had you on?
I know there is no comfort I can offer. It sucks and I am so sorry.
Fuck, Nancy! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!
They really won't transfer with your lining at 7?
im so sorry nancy
OMG, I am so sorry. I will give IF a big f-u as well! Not gonna tell you "next month..." because I know it is shit if it isn't NOW! So sorry :(
THIS SUCKS.
The same thing happened to me too, but my lining was a lovely 2.5 mm, can you say nothing can survive in that?
Sorry to hear this news Nancy.
Take care of yourself. Drink a bottle of wine.
It is NOT fair....
So sorry Nancy. I hope that you have some good embryos to transfer next time.
Fuck that bitch, indeed.
BOO!!!
I am sorry.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
oh Nancy! I am so sorry! I know you must be so incredibly disappointed. (((Hugs)))
Nancy I am so so sorry about your cycle being cancelled. I agree with you FLUCK IF! maybe next month gets real old real fast!
(((hugs)))
Saying sorry just doesn't cut it. This sucks. Big HUGS to you, Nancy!
shit, shit, shit ,shit. I am so sorry. fuck. and fuck again. I wish I could give you a hug. I wish I could say something other than this fucking blows.
((hugs)) that just made my heart drop to see when I came to read your update.It isn't fair to say the least.I am so sorry.
sorry nancy!
so sorry about your horrible news.
ARG!!! I'm SO sorry!!
That sucks ass . . . I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry. That really sucks, and it's just so damn frustrating!!!
I know it sucks to have a cycle cancelled. On the bright side, with FET they really do have more time to get your uterine lining just right.
Rachel (successful with FET after 2 failed fresh transfers)
I am so sorry that Xfer got cancelled.
Gawd, you were getting such good #'s my friend, I just never suspected this would happen. Frack! This just blows.
Shit, I'm so sorry. That just blows.
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