I had my day of heartbreak. I had my day of being a little pissed off and getting all my questions of "why" and "what if" answered.
Today is my day of asking the questions about what's going to happen. Today is the day to look towards the future and to keep my eye on the prize. Today is the day to stop feeling sorry for myself and to focus on all I have actually accomplished.
A few questions I've had answered:
Q: Why do you freeze the embryos so soon? I have "heard" it's better to freeze when they have grown for 3-5 days.
A: We have found that the absolute best time for freezing is immediately upon fertilization, before they have started to divide. If they do start to divide, it's better to allow them to go through a few days, but if we get to pick the freezing time, we do it immediately.
Q: What about the thaw survival rate?
A: There is a higher percentage of embryos surviving thaw at this freezing point than the thaw rate of day 5 embryos.
Q: Let's say I have 10 embryos that were fertilized. How many would you thaw to get the two I am wanting to transfer?
A: We would want to thaw them all. ~gulp~
Q: So if most of them survived thaw and most of them grew, we would be "wasting" the extras?
A: Nope. Since they were previously frozen before they divided, they can be frozen again with the same freeze/thaw rates. ~yipee!~
Q: When will I find out how many fertilized since you will be freezing asap?
A: We will call you Saturday morning.
So, I'm feeling better about what's going to be happening. I'm still utterly disappointed I'm not going to transfer next week as we thought. And I have suddenly found it SO HARD to watch all my cycle buddies go to transfer themselves and get to be in their 2ww. And while I'm rooting for each one to be successful, each bfp that I know is coming is going to be a bullet through my own heart (not because they are pregnant, but because I had my chance taken away from me.) So I'm in a weird place.
Have I mentioned how much IF sucks?
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(515)
-
▼
March
(39)
- Update on the marriage thing. And it's long.
- It must be ~really~ bad.
- Really down.
- The Mod Squad
- This pain I have
- Introducing ... The Mod Squad.
- Back from my egg retrieval.
- my heart has stopped.
- Oh no.
- Looking for the positives.
- Transfer officially ~cancelled~
- comment that just made me want to throw up.
- IVF Cancelled
- No bueno. sd9.
- Follie report after 7 days of stims.
- I'm still irritated.
- Follie report after 6 days of stims. (updated w/ E2)
- Wow. I am starting to feel it.
- For Laurel and Pete.
- Follie report after 4 days of stims. (update 2)
- The difference an IFer feels about her children.
- E2 levels are low.
- Responses to the Taggings and some feelings.
- Alrighty, well, it's all done.
- I'm stimulated.
- She's here.
- Stim Start appointment.
- Do you believe in "jinxing"?
- Back to the adoption post.
- 300
- WTF?
- "Why don't you just adopt?"
- 2nd injection
- Injections in the belly? Bah.
- I start Lupron tonight!
- "Practice what you preach"
- If I have to study, will there be a test?
- TTCers never stop fighting.
- "This month"
-
▼
March
(39)
4 comments:
On my 2nd fresh cycle, I had 19 embryos - they cultured 7 and froze 12 immediately because the thaw rates were higher. I ended up with a BFN on that cycle after a day-3 transfer, but one of the 7 made it to blast and was frozen. When I did my FET, they thawed five, knowing they also had the frozen blast. Of the five thawed, all survived the thaw, and one made it to blast (I have historically had a higher % of crap embryos than many people), and they transferred that and the previously frozen blast.
As an aside, blast thaw rates were historically lower because most clinics used to freeze basically any kind of blast. Now, good clinics tend to freeze only higher-quality blasts, and my RE told me that the thaw rate was more like 80% now.
I eventually had success with an FET, so I'm a believer. Good luck to you!!
I'm sorry your tansfer had to be canceled this month. No one wants to go through all this and then have to wait yet another month. And yes IF sucks!! And IF and yet more waiting put together really sucks! It seems like a lot of IF is damn waiting.... waiting for follicles...waiting for ER... waiting for fertilization... transfer... the evil 2ww... it's enough to drive you insane!!
You can always mention this process sucks. Because it does!
wow this sucks, good to have an explination though, sounds like it makes sense.
We had 10 eggs, 8 fertilized, and in the end all 8 were frozen on day 3, so i imagine it makes no difference.
The thaw rate varies from clinic to clinic from what i understand, mine are frozen in straws of 4, and out of 4, they expect 3 to thaw.
Sorry to hear your having a crap day.
Hugs.
Post a Comment