Sunday, March 9, 2008

WTF?

I still have to go and read through all the great comments left for my prior post (and duffy, blogger didn't eat your comment - I have comment moderation on!) but I just got a weird comment from "anonymous".

I don't even know what it was for, as I can't even find it at all. It was scolding me for bringing my kids to the IF clinic, something which I would ~never~ EVER do. In fact, I've even talked about how I think it's a horrible thing for women to do and I've had to cancel an appointment before because I didn't have anyone to watch them. Hrm. "Anon" even said that I had so called "infertility". Um, okay. Perfectly fertile women go through IVF now? Wow.

Anywho, this leads me to one of those "how did they find me" keyword searches. I thought maybe I could find the keyword about kids in a clinic or something, and find the post google directed them to. I found the usual hilarious keyword searches which google thought my blog would be the most appropriate place to send them.

Here are my favorites in no particular order:

im thin but fat around my uterus - Must really be hard to find nice fitting pants.

lost tampon odor - ahhh. I can't tell you how many freaking disgusting tampon searches people put in and find my blog. Good lord. I tell one story and I'm the lost tampon story queen (not my own story, for anyone who now thinks I've lost a tampon)

over the knee socks thighs hurt - honey, if over the knee socks hurt your thighs, you aren't the type to be wearing them. Sorry.

how long after removing lost tampon can you get an infection - see?

i'm a failure at 35 - Hrm. I'm sorry?

best sarcastic questions to ask - Now this is one I can help with. But who are you asking?

diet for good uterus - My uterus likes a diet of Guinness & cheese.

homemade way to smoke crack - Like how to make something to smoke it in? Or how to make homemade crack? Either way, you're out of luck because I don't know the first thing about crack. Except that I find the words "crackhead" and "crackwhore" funny.

i'm infertile - yeah, join the club.

funny bouncy baby - Definitely the blog to come to.

what its like to smoke crack - Seriously. Tampons and crack. Why am I the expert?

how to stop puking - Take your finger out of your throat?

grand canyon tours cancel bubonic - Those damned squirrels. Do ~not~ pet.

loose vs. lose - Thank GOD someone is at least trying to learn the difference. Glad I could help.

nipple 1 dpiui - Darlin', stop googling things for 1 dpiui. Nothing is happening yet.

infertile nancy - Yes?

19 comments:

Chas said...

I have no other option but to bring my daughter to my IF clinic. Babysitting options are very limited for us, and when I have to go...I have to go. It truly never bothered me when I was going through my fresh cycle...the pregnant bellies, yes...the kids, not so much. I realize it might bother some of the other women, and I truly am sorry for that, but I keep her out of their faces and just pray that she gives them a little hope since she was conceived right down the hall from where we're sitting in the waiting room. I've never had anyone be rude about it, thank goodness.

Meg said...

Man, anonymous posts are tough. I personally do not get many but can imagine they can be frustrating since you may want to reply/explain things to them.

How is WW going? Sorry it took me so long to reply ;)

Ali said...

How do you do those searches? Help!

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

Ok, I've been sitting in the corner, pretending not to exist for a while, but I will confirm that my uterus also prefers a diet of Guinness and cheese.

Cass said...

I don't really think most anons are finding you through key searches. I think it is people from certain "medical sites" and other groups. One of your previous anons was in one of my moms groups, she would constantly talk about you. She honestly thought that 80% of your posts were about her! It was really weird and kind of scary. She would put links up of your blog so we could see how terrible of a person you were. She tried to get us to leave negative comments about you. She was actually the reason our first group got shut down! So, anyways to get back to my point, I think that most anons can be linked back to other people. I really can't understand why you would make an effort to leave a negative comment, if don't like something someone wrote then don't read their blog--plain and simple! These people either have no lives or they have some sort of wierd crush on you......

Knucks said...

Nancy, you're hilarious! I remember your lost tampon story. . . I had a friend do that in high school. For like a week, all the girls in basketball practice were like "what the f*ck is that smell?" We finally narrowed it down to her and it was a "lost tampon". Sick!!

KatieM said...

Thats ridiculous about the comment with your kids and IF clinic...I remember that post how you specifically DON'T do that quite well.

Oh, and for the searches....those are great, lol. I think my funniest one so far has been "parts of a cow uterus" haha.

Morgan said...

Thanks so much for the laugh this morning, I needed it. You are so fucking hilarious. :)

nancy said...

Cass - lol on people thinking I'm talking about them. "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you ..." But I couldn't even find the post she was commenting about, no matter where anon was from. I even published her rant and I could ~not~ find it, so I thought it was super old.

Chas - I guess you do what you gotta do. I remember having a broken heart when I'd see kids in the RE's office when I was ttc #1. And even with having two kids, seeing babies makes me want to cry. Not joking. So it never bothered you, but if I can stop one girl from crying, I'm going to only have appointments when I don't have any childcare options. That's just me though, I understand you have to do what you have to do.

jamie said...

this blog never fails to put a smile on my face! btw i saw on your ticker that ellas bday is getting close what are you planning on doing?

Sarah R said...

Nothing to really add...I was just laughing my ass off at the searches. :)

Jen said...

That's hilarious! But I have to tell you, according to all acounts I am a perfectly fertile woman going through IVF. But our path is so very different than most everyone so...

And trust me, I am constantly worried about why people who search about having sex with their grandparents end up on my blog.

Steph said...

Seriously, are people really bored enough to Google lost tampons and crack? Unless they've lost a tampon or need to know *how* to smoke crack, that is...

Hmm. Makes you wonder what makes these people tick...or not.

Aimee AKA adlz said...

Just had to tell you that your post cracked me up today.

jenn said...

HA!!! "nipple 1dpiui"! really? These are hysterical! Thanks for the laughs today.

Searching said...

Those crack me up! If I ever do lose a tampon I'll be sure to check out your blog for help. ;)

merks23 said...

As always, Nancy, I find your blog very entertaining. Thank you for the giggle!

On another note, it's quite a coincidence that for the first time ever, after reading your comment about children at IF clinics, this morning a couple brought their [2year old?] child with them to my clinic at 6:15am. I got a bit emotional so I just put my head down into my journal. Well, the couple just didn't get it because they proceeded to say to their son, "Oh Dennis, go say hi to the nice lady." They said it over & over, & I was nice & faked a teary smile, but I was so grateful for when they nurse called me in.

It wasn't a huge deal & it didn't seem to bug any other ladies, but I couldn't help but wonder why Dad couldn't sit with him in the car. Mom was only getting b/w anyway.

But anyhow, I just wanted to thank you for not bringing your children into the clinic. I think it is really considerate of other people & I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Nancy you are a riot! I seriously look forward to when you blog, makes my day.

~Cate

Chas said...

I understand what you're saying, and obviously I would never want to make anyone cry. I also understand that not everyone feels the way I do, some are more sensitive to certain things than me, and I am more sensitive to certain things than others. Luckily for me, my clinic doesn't keep you in the waiting room. You never walk in and have a room full of women. I have been very blessed that when I have had no childcare options for Lila, the only women in the waiting room have been their elderly patients. I don't know if they do that on purpose or not. They get you back to a room almost immediately. However, there have been times when we've been waiting, and a woman checks in before we're called back, or a woman leaves while we're still waiting and has to walk through the room. When you're going through IVF, and they're checking your ovaries every other day, that can make it impossible to find a babysitter, at least for me. I recently had three RE appointments in one week. I guess I should have said in my original comment, that I often have no other option but to bring my daughter. I don't always bring her, but there have been weeks like that when I really had no other option. You can't cancel those appointments, or you could seriously mess up your cycle. We literally don't have it in our budget to get a babysitter three times a week, not after paying for IVF. I would honestly do it if I could.