When you have a broken heart, why does it actually hurt?
I was thinking about this phenomenon and I just don't understand it. When my heart it broken, it hurts. The space in my chest is tighter and I feel like it's being squeezed. It literally hurts.
Why?
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
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- Here is something bound to piss someone off.
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27 comments:
Because emotions, especially high emotions, manifest themselves physically. Extreme happiness does as well but since it is pleasurable it is not as dissected.
What made you think about this?
Bleu's explanation makes sense to me. Emotion is so closely connected to our physical selves. I wonder if there is some chemical reason for it. Now you've got me curious.
Here's one explanation on yahoo answers:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080619234736AAJNXCG
I can go completely sciencey here:
The reason we feel physical pain when we are emotionally distressed is because we're using the same part of the brain to deal with both experiences.
That's from a study done by US and Australian docs to answer that age old question.
Here's a link to the study and results if you get really, really bored someday:
http://www.scn.ucla.edu/reject/7catalyst.html
Here from ICLW.
I don't know why, but mine feels the same, it actually hurts and aches.
I don't know, but I would imagine the hurt came first before someone coined the phrase "broken heart". I hope yours isn't broken! Hugs...
My head hurts thinking about it.
Nancy -- how is your heart -- I hope it's not broken...xo
Pam
Energetically, the heart is your emotional center. An energetic assault can be just as painful as a physical assault. The key is to allow flow, so that nothing gets stuck. When you have a heartache, feel the grief, mourn the hurt, and let it have its way with you for awhile. It WILL move on.
I wrote more about the heart center at http://weebleswobblog.blogspot.com/2008/08/heart-chakra-divine-power-within-you.html
I think about this too. I have experienced a broken heart - truly broken- once in my life. When Samuel died, and ever since, I literally hurt at times. It is a physical pain. I would like to know why.
I sure hope you aren't experiencing a broken heart right now. If you are, I am sorry for whatever has happened and I hope you feel better.
Hmmm - I know that others have chimed in with scientific reasons, but even the nurse in me just thinks that sometimes we feel things so deeply it just hurts. There's only been a few times when I've been so sad my heart has actually hurt - but I know that when it has, it truly does.
I hope that whatever makes you think of this goes away soon...thinking of you!
I really never thought that a broken heart actually exisited. I kind of just thought it was something that a person "made up" when they broke up with a boyfriend or girlfriend or that type of situation.
Since losing Shawn and our baby 5 weeks ago I now believe in the expression of having a broken heart. And I don't like the feeling at all. My heart has never hurt so much as it has the last month. Sometimes it hurts so bad that it actually takes my breath away. Like my heart physically hurts. Other times it is more of a dull ache. My heart hurts because I miss my husband so much right now words can't express my feelings.
I think we actually feel the hurt because the emotion people feel when there heart breaks is such a real pain.
Maybe it is kind of like when your heart swells when something really good happens and you feel good about it. Like the day I found out I was pregnant, and we were finally starting our family. My heart was swelling because I was so happy with my life.
Then with in one week I went from having a swelling heart with happiness to a hurting heart from losing my husband and baby.
I really don't know why the heart actually hurts, but I can for sure tell you I don't like it and it sucks in a huge way.
I hope your heart isn't hurting.
I do not know, but am going through the same feelings just now. Some days it just feels like a huge gaping hole in my chest and I have to wrap my arms around myself to help keep it from spreading. I've never cried so much in my life. I feel sick a lot of the time and can't eat. I just feel a huge wreck right now. It's awful that it happens but having a broken heart helps strengthen us. I'm looking forward to the day that I can say "I'm stronger because this happened". Right now, it takes everything in me to not break down in front of my children. They have to know that mommy is happy, even if she isn't. Man, it hurts. :( I hope your heart isn't hurting.
I know - it is very strange and I like Bleu's answer, but I also think it comes down to mind over matter - we are sad so we "trick" our heart into feeling sore...
That's the definition of emotion- a mental & physical response. You can't really have the deep emotion without the physical pain (or pleasure). I think it is because we are human- the human condition & all. I wonder if animals have true emotions or if that is unique to us because we can express it?
I don't know why.. but, it sure does, doesn't it?
Your's isn't broken, is it? XXXX
I'm sure the scientific explanations are valid but I have never felt that fully explained the phenomena. I hope your heart isn't hurting right now.
ICLW
I agree with all the above answers. Those of us who deal with depressive disorders actually feel physical pain in addition to the emotions, so the literal pain in the chest when we are "heart-broken" makes complete sense.
Ok I have no scientific backgroud here but I can say I KNOW THE FEELING. It only closes in on me a couple times a year now...but it used to be a daily thing.
Just breath...and cry...it will eventually squeeze less (most days)
HUGS!!! *ICLW*
Here's my answer.
Thought is energy - enough energy compressed together creates matter.
Matter is the substance of which physical objects are composed.
That’s why when you hurt, something is quite literally “the matter”.
It's physical and it's real.
Maybe people will say "Its all in your head" because that's where it originated, but now, it's in your heart, your stomach, your nerves, creating stress and other emotional distress and illnesses.
And I believe that's why they say "Feelings buried alive never die".
But you taught me a great lesson once about the mind, back when I was having pregnancy symptoms (about a year ago) and they were so real, I didn’t understand why my body was feeling that way. You gave me an explanation of how the mind doesn’t just make you THINK you have symptoms,(Like you think your boobs are sore instead of them actually being sore) you said the mind actually makes you HAVE the symptoms, they are real. Just not pregnancy related. Only Desire induced, but still real.
Those were not your exact words, but that's what I heard.
This is really a comment to your "Math" post...but I go by the "what to expect when expecting book" as corny as it sounds. They do it like this..
Weeks 1-4 = Month 1
Weeks 5-9= Month 2
Weeks 10-13= Month 3
Weeks 14-18= Month 4
Weeks 19-22= Month 5
Weeks 23-27= Month 6
Weeks 28-31= Month 7
Weeks 32-36= Month 8
Weeks 37-40= Month 9
So that's probably why people say during week 24 they ARE in their 6th month technically. Maybe not MATHMATICALLY, but TECHNICALLY that's how it goes during pregnancy. My OB also gave me a list to go by that says the exact same thing as WTEWE book says. Basically they say it goes the first month is 4 weeks, then the next month is 5 weeks, then the next 4..and so on. That's probably why people get confused.
A broken heart feels like just that - broken. It the be the most intense, crushing, breath-taking pain.
We had a patient not too long ago who was admitted with Takotsubo Syndrome or Broken Heart Syndrome. It is a temporary weakening of the heart usually brought on by emotional stress. These patients will present with symptoms of cardiomyopathy and/or a heart attack but all of the tests come back showing a clean heart.
Sadly, it is most common in women.
I hope your heart is feeling happy today!
That happens to me too, almost like I can't breathe. I like Bleu's response too, makes a lot of sense.
I think our emotional part and physical part are so closely connected, it's like they're twins...when one feels something, so does the other, ya know?
I figured I'd comment on this post too. I have always realized that and wondered the same thing, it's like you LITERALLY have a pain in your chest, you can really feel your heart broken. Just curious, why do you ask? Are you ok?
I never know why one's heart hurts, like why one's head hurts (because mine hurts a lot).
Here from ICLW.
Broken hearts hurt to make us realise the enormousity of what we have lost.
YUp it hurts physically...dis is d first time i noticed...may be cuz its d first time its hurtin so bad..
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