Thursday, March 27, 2008

my heart has stopped.

I am now numb.

ER tomorrow and I no longer care.

My husband won't even be there when I wake up. He has to leave for Dallas in the middle of my egg retrieval. He'll be there for me to go in, but I won't see him again for days.

He's leaving. My "maybe" embryos are leaving. Leaving me empty.

12 comments:

Duffy said...

oh sweetie....I don't know what to say except that I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I am sorry you are feeling so discouraged and alone.

Unknown said...

OH honey,I just caught up on what is going with you, and it sounds like you've been handed a shit sandwich on a plate. Why can't you get some really good news? I feel so bad for all of the hurdles that are being thrown at you. Please stay strong, I glimpse the silver lining in all of this... it could all fall into place before June. I am hopin for you.

Anonymous said...

No, do not do this. You are not a negative person, do not lose hope. YOU WILL BE A MOMMY AGAIN, YOU WILL!!!! It sucks that all this crap is pushing you back, but do not let it wreck "Nancy." Your husband is comming back, your embryos are comming back and before you know it you will have your BFP. Please remember this....

Chastity said...

I just read your last three posts...and all I can think to say is that I'm so sorry..once again.

Natalie said...

Ugh, this all just blows. Catching up, it's just like fuuuuuuuuck. Sorry you're going through this, nothing I can say to make it better, just sorry that you have to go through it:-(

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Just imagine all of us in there with you (I know the room would get a little crowded) holding your hand.

bleu said...

My Goddess I am heartbroken for you. 10 weeks is 5 2ww which is hellx5
I wish I could make this better.

IF SUCKS SO BAD

luna said...

take care of yourself and be well in your recovery. ~luna

Shinejil said...

Yeah, what Mel said! We'll be with you in spirit. You're not alone.

KatieM said...

Oh hun, I am thinking about you so much today.

~hugs~

Io said...

Oh honey, I hope it went well this morning. It sucks so much that you had to be alone for this. Like Mel said, we're there with you in spirit. Although I don't know if you would really want me in the room. I would probably say something terribly inappropriate, causing the doctors head to explode.

Jen said...

I'm so sorry. We're here for you. And do you have someone to drive you home? I'm up in Littleton and have my hysteroscopy at 1 today but I am a good chauffeur...