Did I say I wasn't smart?

Why yes, yes I did.

I still want my last post to stand, as I really want the second half of my post to continue to be read by anyone checking in on my blog from the weekend. (I love my outrageous analogies.) But I do have a few updates to tell the world.

The first is about how I continued to be not smart this weekend. Oh. My. God. So dumb. So I was getting a fucking fantabulous massage. Simply wonderful. I've never gotten a massage on the weekend, always at the end of the workday, and it proved to be a good choice. Not a choice I can continue to make, as my massage therapist usually only works the weekdays, but I had to cancel Friday's massage and he was cool and came in just for me today. Due to not having anyone before or after me, he lingered a bit on some areas I was enjoying and we chatted very casually.

When it was over, he left the room for me to get dressed and I definitely took my time. Instead of rushing to get dressed, I spent some time gathering myself. I stood up and stretched a bit. I brushed out my hair. I put on a bit of makeup. All before even getting dressed. Then I put on my bra, shirt, panties. As I pulled my maternity pants on and lifted the big "secret belly" panel over my largeness, I felt it. Omg. My back. My back!!

"Kyle!" I screamed and he came immediately in the room. My back hurt. No joking here at all. He started feeling around and I told him my right side felt ~so~ different from my left side. He said "Do you want to know why?" I nodded with actual tears running down my face. He says "because the left side is normal and the right side is all fucked up." It seems I threw out my back putting on my pants. The muscle from the middle of my back running up to my shoulder was solid as cement, so hard he couldn't even feel my spine through it. He laid be back down and worked on it for a good 30 minutes before it was loose enough for me to be able to breathe and drive home.

So yeah, I'm smart. Smart enough to completely ruin a 90 minute massage by putting on my pants. Hey, at least I did it in a place where someone was there to help me.

---

I also updated "those" pictures. Both links. But beware, I'm getting too lazy to put on pants in the pictures behind the stick figure, so just know that if you click, you are will see me in my underwear. Which, of course, is showing nothing more than what you'd see if you ran into me at the beach, as my bikinis are smaller, but I still wanted to "warn" you.