Friday, November 7, 2008

What a day.

I woke up with a raging headache and a little girl who is very, very sick. I stayed home and pretty much kept my ass on the couch for the most part, getting up at 3~ish to really so some work (which I just finished, 5 hours later).

You know that guy I was talking about previously who I just was ~so~ angry at? Well, I looked at it from his point of view and I am better with it. The end result still sucks, but no matter what, that wouldn't change. So at least I'm able to by okay with his intentions more than before. At first I just played the total victim, just looking how I was played the fool, but something clicked today, really looking at it from how things in regards to me really did suck for him. So he did what was best for himself, which, I'll admit, he's had the bad end of the deal since the beginning of the year. Sure, he was reaping some of the awards from what I was doing, but I realize now I was using him for my own gain. I guess it's only fair he needs to do what he needs for himself. And like I said, I ~knew~ it wasn't malicious, but I couldn't get past how the end result played on me. I just had to take a moment to get the hell over myself and look at it with a different set of eyes. The end result still sucks a bit for me, but at least I can let go of the anger. I don't know why today was the day for my "breakthrough" of sorts, but I do feel better.

My husband is out my oldest, his parents and aunt/uncle to celebrate his birthday. My love is turning 36 this Sunday! I'm already 36 so he's finally catching up to me. I can't tell you all the shit he gives me for being "old". Whatever.

For his birthday, he's getting a tattoo. It's only partially done, but here is the beginning:

Honestly, I don't like it. He has changed it up quite a bit from his initial idea, but a graveyard? It is a very personal story with him though, so I have to honor that. It's good work though and will only look better and better as it gets done. I just have to work with his idea of "chrome flames" being his entire left sleeve. Seriously. Flames. Heh. I'm sure I can get him to do something cool instead.

That's it for me tonight. I'm getting sick, but I'm in great spirits. My life if going to be what I make it. That's for damned sure.


Tara said...

It's funny, I often need some time to digest certain things as well. I usually feel really pissed off when something rotten first happens but if I can have some time to think about it, I can *sometimes* get myself to view it from a different perspective and be more at peace with things.

Good for you for getting there - I know it's not easy sometimes.


ssbean said...

OMG, that is a very nicely done tattoo. Please post a pic of what it looks like when it's finished. I'm interesting in seeing it the completed version.

Jen said...

Wow that is a really big tatoo. I've been thinking about getting a small one, kind of in a way to honor Shawn, but man I'm such a chicken shit when it comes to pain.
Hope you are feeling better soon!

jenn said...

Happy birthday to the hubby! (I'm glad you are able to have a breakthrough with the anger too- holding onto it after a while just starts to fester)

I hear you on the hubby tat ideas. Thank goodness we have too many other things to pay for because the hub would have a noose around his neck with a little devil pulling the end on his calf... really? It makes his Alice in Wonderlans checkerboard arm sleeve sound downright awesome!

Krista said...

Hope Allison gets better soon. Glad you were able to get past the anger too. I hate office politics and mindgames.

Not in the Water said...

I is def what we make of it. I feel like crap myself and I go back and forth with having and not having a voice.

I hope you don't get too sick!!

Karyn with a Y said...

Holy moly, that's amazing.

Jendeis said...

I'm not down with the graveyard either, but as you say, it's a personal story for him, so it's significant to him. The lines of the drawing are fantastic. You must get a pic when the whole tat is done.

Wordgirl said...

Hi Nancy,

My god what a tattoo -- I've kept coming back to look -- I find tattoos really amazing and love to see art displayed that way -- Happy Birthday to your husband -- welcome to the 36 club!

I'm sorry about the sickness sweeping the household -- its been a bad season already over here -- but it sounds like you have things in perspective and are in good spirits -- so happy, happy to hear it my friend.



~*JaYmE*~ said...

I hope you guys start feeling better. I'm so not looking forward to this time of year just for that reason. I think your hubbies new tat is pretty cool! Have a good weekend!

Sara said...

It is an interesting tatoo - I would like to see the finished product before making a decision!! LOL. My two tatoos are pretty small, but I am really jonesin' for another one.

Sorry you are getting sick! That sucks...take care!

Hollie said...

Sometimes it takes a while to see things from the other person's perspective. It's good that you feel better about things. Happy B-Day to your hubby! Sorry you don't get to celebrate and that your daughter is sick and you feel sick. Everybody will be feeling better soon. That is some tattoo!

Jen said...

I wanted to let you know that there is a little somethin for you over at my blog!

Io said...

Hot damn that's a tattoo. Happy birthday to him!
I hope you feel better soon.

tobacco brunette said...

Wow. That's a hell of a tattoo - make sure to post the finished work. I'd love to see it when it's all done.

Hope you all are feeling better soon.

Carrie Ann said...

Hope you and the little one feel better soon!!

Qwickset said...

Chrome flames made me think of some work a friend of mine does painting bikes here in Cedar Rapids --

Incredible work. I'm sure it's going to come out killer.

Sending much love and good vibes to Karl.